


Judgement

by Danidoesathing



Series: Tales from the Garden [2]
Category: Persona 5, Persona 5 Royal, Persona Series
Genre: Akechi is not a great person in this fic I wont lie, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Brainwashing, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, I give hereward the attention he deserves, I spend way too much time exploring the underdeveloped lore of personas, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inspired by Madoka Magica, M/M, Moral Ambiguity, NG+, Non-Explicit Sex, Obsessive Behavior, Possessive Behavior, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Unhealthy Relationships, a lot of these tags dont apply until after the first chapter, he doesnt deserve this, im so sorry for putting akira through this much shit, its not unhealthy at first but it sure gets there, so just read the first chapter for a typical akeshu experience
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:27:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 100,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27048697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danidoesathing/pseuds/Danidoesathing
Summary: Goro meets a stranger in April and strikes up a deal that turns into something much more.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist, Hereward/Kurusu Akira, Kitagawa Yusuke/Kurusu Akira (Past)
Series: Tales from the Garden [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1812472
Comments: 40
Kudos: 186





	1. Let the Flood in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi there!!! this fic is technically a prequel to "A Self Fulfilling Prophecy", so if you want the full experience I'd suggest readying that first. However, it's not at all necessary to read this at all! So, jump right in if you like. Or don't. I'm not the boss of you
> 
> Dani? Writing another unnecessarily long fic? its more like than you think. Im so sorry the first chapter was NOT meant to be 50K words but....it is and im not changing it.
> 
> This was supposed to be spilt between Akira and Goro's perspective, but then Oops! All Goro! He's just so fun to write im sorry.

“Ah, excuse me?”

Goro felt whatever hopes had to have some sort of peaceful afternoon vanish the second he heard the quiet voice of whatever over excited fan that had finally got to meet their idol in the busy streets of Tokyo. He debated for a moment to simply pretend that he hadn't heard them and move on, but chose not, as if anything would have even slightly damaged his reputation Shido would have his head. The last thing he wanted was to deal with another one of Shido’s rages. He had to be the good humble celebrity to whatever idiot wanted his autograph now.

He sighed silently, burying down the pure frustration before turning to face the source of the voice with his signature detective prince smile.

“Can I help you?”

The person themself wasn’t much to look at. They couldn’t be much younger than he was, maybe sixteen? He was slender, almost scrawny in his clean uniform, hands shoved lazily in his pockets. His hair was a dark mess of curls that hadn’t looked brushed once in his life. His eyes were obscured behind glasses that looked almost too large for his face. Goro wouldn’t have noticed the boy in the crowd if he hadn't gotten his attention.

He was a student, clearly, and judging by the uniform...perhaps Shujin? His uniform looked new, barely worn. A new student this late in the year was unusual to say the least. He seemed more bored than anything with his slouched shoulders and neutral facial expression. He didn’t seem much like an excited fan, but Goro wasn’t sure why else this random student off the street would attempt to speak with him.

“We need to talk,” the student stated. He spoke confidently, as though there was some business between the two that Goro was somehow unaware of. He kept the same still, unreadable look on his face. It only served to piss him off.

“I’m sorry….? Do I know you?” Goro said in a forced, sickly sweet voice. “I am in a bit of a rush right now, sorry. I really have to go-”

“That’s a lie,” He said bluntly. 

“....what?”

“You’re lying.”

Goro narrowed his eyes, failing to read the person in front of him. He didn’t seem much like the fan stalker type, nor did he look like one of Shido’s lackeys (he’d doubt Shido would want another unstable teenager kid working for him, he already had one too many), was he out here to kill him? Perhaps the child of a parent Goro killed, somehow knowing he was involved in their untimely death….somehow managed to track him down and find Goro in the dense streets of Tokyo to scare him, kidnap him, kill him, anything to make himself feel better for what the monster had done to his family. Goro doesn’t feel pity for him then, only contempt.

He isn’t going to die here. He’ll have to wait his turn like the rest of them.

“Am I now?” Goro said, speaking a bit too sharply for the ‘pleasant humble detective’ persona he was attempting to upkeep.

“Yes, you are,” The person said in a matter of fact tone. “You’re going back to your apartment and going to stay up all night planning out your next moves for the upcoming months. With the election so close and all, you have to be so careful.”

Goro’s blood ran cold. The dread that found itself wrapped around his heart was nothing new, but the implication of what was coming next was enough to increase it tenfold. It took everything within him to not kill this smug little shit right then, in front of everyone in Tokyo. 

And yet, the student’s face remained neutral, unchanged as he watched Goro’s inner crisis unfold in front of him. No pride, fear, joy, there was just _nothing._ He made no move for a gun or weapon, he didn’t go off on a monologue on how he found Goro or how he knew about his plan or how stupid he was for trying to take down Shido of all people, he doesn’t do _anything_ expect stare at the detective. 

Goro doesn’t bother to keep up the mask, letting his face fall into a cold glare to hide his panic. If this person knew about his plan to ruin Shido, it’s not like they cared much for the detective prince personality. If he’s going to die, he isn’t going to play pretend while doing so. He wasn’t going to be blackmailed into whatever bullshit scenario this reckless asshole thinks will happen. He’d much rather die.

“I want to help you,” The stranger said after a long pause. “I’m not planning on blackmailing you either, so you can stop thinking that. We want something similar, you know who is a piece of shit and deserves what’s coming to him, but you’re not going to be the one to bring that on him. At least on your own, anyway. I do know how to bring on him in a way that will make us both happy. I personally would prefer to work together, it would make things a lot easier in the long run for the both of us.”

The student shrugged nonchalantly, stepping backwards.

“But I don’t think you’d accept my help without….proof I guess. I mean you don’t know me so can’t say I blame you….and I’m not asking you to make a decision now, nor am I asking you to stop what you’re doing. It’s not like you know me or anything, so…..”

The student hummed slightly, thinking for a moment. 

“Give me until….damn it, what was today again?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Today is Friday so that would make it the….twenty-ninth? So, Tuesday then. You’ll know where to find me after you do your ‘research’ or whatever you call it. Keep an eye out, I’ll be waiting, if you feel so inclined. Say hi to Loki for me.”

Goro could feel said persona stir under his skin, a mixture of fury and fascination upon hearing this mystery person speak his name. He knew not only about the Shido, but his own persona as well? He must know of the Metaverse, and palaces….what else did he know? The Mementos? Shadows? The mental shutdowns? Did he have a persona of his own? He more than likely knew of Goro’s “occupation”, why would he want to form some kind of deal with him at all then? Wouldn’t he know how dangerous that is? Was he just that stupid or was that hellbent on revenge? Was he really willing to risk death to get back at Shido?

What exactly did the bastard do to him?

The student took another step backwards, turning to leave until Goro spoke again.

“How do you know for a fact I won’t kill you before then?” 

He turned back to face the detective and Goro caught sight of his eyes. They were a dark, quiet gray, ones that would seem just as average and unassuming as the rest of him if Goro was anyone else. But there something behind the thick frames that hid it near perfectly, something sharp and reckless and knowing and _alive,_ something that burned like fire and chaos, something that was wild and untamed and something that could never be tamed even in this awful, awful world, and Goro felt everything stop for a moment. A subtle, confident smirk broke out across the neutral mask he had worn moments before.

“You won’t. You’re way too curious to see what will happen next,” The familiar stranger stated, as though he knew what he spoke was the truth. “I’ll see you around, Crow.”

The student took another step backwards and vanished into the crowd, blending in perfectly with the rest of the normalcy of the Tokyo population, as though he was never there to begin with. Goro was left standing alone in a wave of people, unsettled and shaken but with something he had thought was long dead stirred in his heart, something strong and new and wild, a pull towards that extraordinary experience hidden behind the false mundane, a wild feeling he wanted to chase and capture in his own heart. 

Logically, he should have just killed the stranger then, travel into the mementos and tear apart and destroy whatever remained of his feeble shadow, or track him down and put a bullet between his eyes and never think of the meek looking student again. He was a threat to the detective’s plans, an unpredictable element that Goro couldn’t afford to risk, one he should just eliminate now. 

And yet, that isn’t what he does. 

In a sea of uninteresting and unimportant people, Goro Akechi makes a choice to challenge the preset destiny of the Trickster.

* * *

The student’s name turned out to be Akira Kurusu, a sixteen year old ‘delinquent’ who transferred from some backwater country town barely a month ago to Shujin. He was serving a rather harsh sentence, a year of probation in Tokyo as his family practically abandoned him to the care of a stranger in order to protect their reputation.

It seemed like the Metaverse wasn’t the only thing they had in common.

He was living in the attic of some cafe in Yongen under the guardianship of an ex-government worker who also happened to be the guardian of the child of _Wakaba Isshiki._

_Fantastic._

Kurusu had never so much as crossed paths with Isshiki, her daughter or even Sakura for that matter, so he wouldn’t have much motivation for revenge, nor did he have any relatives or friends that was one of Shido’s targets either. From all outside perspectives, he had lived a relatively normal life, save for the stain on of his criminal record. He had a single assault charge, barely dodging a jail sentence. Something about woman being nearly raped by-

_Shido._

Ah. _There it is._

So that’s it then? Revenge for ruining his life? Still, teaming up with a serial killer doesn’t seem like the smartest nor the safest option. Wouldn’t it make more sense to simply attack Shido’s palace? He wouldn’t win of course, but Kurusu doesn’t know that. Or well, shouldn’t know that. He seemed to know a lot of things he shouldn’t have known. He knew about Goro’s plans, the Metaverse, _Loki,_ and god knows what else. If he knew of Goro’s murders, why did he want to work with him in the first place? Unless Kurusu was a murderer like himself, which seemed highly unlikely. Anyone could be a killer, Goro of all people knew, but….it didn’t seem right. Goro didn’t have the whole picture quite yet, and for some reason Akira did.

So, Goro waited.

He watched as Shujin delved into chaos as their gym coach confessed to the years of abuse and sexual assault of some girl who had thrown herself off the building only a few weeks before. The news is shocking to staff and students alike, as no one actually thought he’d ever admit it, let alone feelings guilty about his horrid actions. He groveled and begged for forgiveness in front of the entire school, in a pathetic display for all to see.

Goro supposed this was Kurusu’s “proof.”

Whispers of Kamoshida’s ‘change of heart’ and the ‘Phantom Thieves of Hearts’ echoed throughout the halls of the school. Rumors of someone that could make someone feel the weight of their sins by stealing one’s heart ran wild, spreading from the contained school building to the internet and around Tokyo as news of Kamoshida’s arrest became well known.

To change someone's heart….could one even do that? He had never heard of such a phenomenon, even in terms of shadows and the Metaverse, but then again, changing one’s heart does not fit with his methods.

Killing is a much more effective method.

He received a text from an unknown number late on Tuesday night.

**[Unknown]: hi ;)**

**[Unknown]: are you ready to talk about terms?**

How the hell did he know Goro’s number-

He sighed through gritted teeth. This was the least of his worries at the moment.

**[Goro]: I’m assuming that was you on the news?**

**[Goro]: These Phantom Thieves of hearts?**

**[Unknown]: you can’t just get someone to admit to being a thief lol**

**[Unknown]: we can discuss it later**

**[Unknown]: but I’m going to need your answer first**

Answer for what? If he wanted to make some shady deal with someone who knew way more than he should? Did Kurusu really think he was that stupid?

What was he even gaining from this? What did Goro have that Akira wanted?

**[Goro]: How do you know all of this?**

**[Goro]: I’m not agreeing to anything until you answer that**

**[Unknown]: i’m not asking for you to agree right away lol, what kind of moron do you take me for? We have even talked about terms yet lol**

**[Unknown]: And I can’t tell you that yet**

**[Goro]: Why is that?**

**[Unknown]: cause it’s literally saved over text!! We’re trying to inconspicuous here dummy**

**[Unknown]: it's SO easy to hack a phone you have no idea**

**[Unknown]: plus it’s way simpler to talk about this face to face. it's gonna get confusing**

**[Unknown]: you want answers, i have them, and the only way we’re going to get anywhere is if we meet on these terms, detective, somewhere where we have no outside ears listening in.**

**[Unknown]: it can only be between the two of us. i know how to make it so.**

**[Unknown]: there's not punishments for saying no either**

**[Unknown]: i mean it'll be a bummer but hey i can't force you**

**[Unknown]: i mean i could but i ain't gonna blackmail you lol**

**[Unknown]: and either way you know who ain't hearing shit**

**[Unknown]: seriously hes an ass and is getting what's coming to him lol**

The hate of Shido was something he shared with Goro as well….how strange. It was oddly comforting to know that he wasn’t alone in his hatred for once, like he was justified.

Well, whatever Kurusu felt about Shido, it could never reach the level of disgust Goro felt for the pathetic bastard.

**[Goro]: What makes you think I’d trust you?**

**[Goro]: So far you’ve done nothing other than be a cryptic shady asshole. Why should I even consider this?**

**[Unknown]: i’m not asking you to trust me lol**

**[Unknown]: just offering you a deal**

**[Unknown]: we can talk it over, and you can either take it or you don’t**

**[Unknown]: personally, i think it might really help you in the long run**

**[Unknown]: but you do you**

**[Unknown]: come on, detective, what do you say?**

Goro hesisted. This was still incredibly dangerous, even with Kurusu’s weak promises of ‘no consequences’ if he so chose, he didn’t trust the teen as much as he trusted Goro‘s own lies. But truly, if Akira did already know this information, then there was a risk no matter what Goro chose to do. Don’t go, and risk this person ruining his entire plan that he had building for nearly two years, or go, and risk….the same thing, but possibly gain information about how he found out this information, possibly use it to his own advantage, and potentially see what this stranger wanted so bad….

**[Goro]: Where exactly are we meeting for this**

**[Goro]: To clarify I am not agreeing to anything. You are going to tell me what I want to here**

**[Unknown]: !!!!**

**[Unknown]: will do babe**

**[Goro]: Don’t call me that**

**[Unknown]: oh now i’m** **_definitely_ ** **calling you that now**

**[Unknown]: babe ;)**

**[Unknown]: jk jk i'll see you at the cafe tomorrow after school**

**[Unknown]: and we’ll go from there**

**[Unknown]: also if you here morgana start talking just pretend you cant**

**[Unknown]: morgana’s a cat btw**

**[Unknown]: well he's also not but it don’t matter rn**

**[Unknown]: he talks sometimes but only persona users can hear him so**

**[Unknown]: you're not going crazy lol the cat is in fact talking**

**[Unknown]: but seriously don’t acknowledge anything he’s saying**

**[Unknown]: if we want this to work you gotta do that for me**

**[Unknown]: and do be warned the place is bugged by a little gremlin so keep up the princely act until we head out, k?**

**[Unknown]: i’ve got a place in mind we can go afterwards to get some privacy ;)**

**[Unknown]: jk jk**

**[Unknown]: but yeah, we’ll talk details tomorrow**

**[Goro]: Fine**

**[Unknown]: yay! can’t wait lol**

**[Unknown]: i’ll see you soon Crow!**

Goro stared at his phone, reading the conversation over once more. Kurusu seemed excited, almost overjoyed by Goro’s acceptance to even meet with him. He still did not seem like a fan of his, otherwise Goro doubted that he would be far more surprised by his bitter nature….but then why was Kurusu so blatantly happy about Goro’s presence? 

It wasn’t as though he wanted him around, right? He didn’t even know him.

And yet he knew Loki. And if he knew about Loki, how much did Kurusu know about Goro? 

He isn’t sure, and that frightens him for some reason.

Goro set his phone on the nearby nightstand, staring up at the ceiling listening to the sounds of He wasn’t going to sleep tonight, he knew. The world outside seemed so far away from the tiny room of his empty apartment. The choking isolation was nothing new, but it felt different tonight. The air was a little less oppressive, a little less tense. He didn’t quite feel like he was being smothered by some intangible and unstoppable force like most nights. He doesn’t feel the weight of death and sins, doesn’t hear the echoes of shadows crawling and screaming in the corners of the world, the whispers from Loki of blood and madness….it’s only Goro Akechi, only in his room, with questions with no answers and an insatiable curiosity about a boy that could ruin him.

It’s going to be a long night.

* * *

The Leblanc is a surprisingly calming experience. It was a quiet, warm little cafe, hidden in the backstreets of Yongen, which only made Goro question exactly how it even stayed open with how empty the little cafe was. Of course, the coffee was enough to bring people back, he assumed. The offer of curry from the barista behind the counter caught his attention as well, but he had other things he needed to deal with over an empty stomach.

Kurusu had spun some story about long lost childhood friends that had reunited by chance in Tokyo and how happy they were to finally get to see each other after all these years and probably some other bullshit story that he had managed to convince the owner, his caretaker, of their strange compagainship or Goro’s sudden appearance in Kurusu’s life. Sojiro’s eyes watched the both of them with suspicion but eventually waved the both of them off, telling them to stay out of trouble. Kurusu had responded with a quiet, flat ‘yes, sir’. His face was still, completely blank as though the confident, cocky Akira that Goro had met in the streets of Shibuya had never existed to begin with, instead being replaced by the meek, shy straight A student that his teachers had commented on so many times on his records.

It was a lie, clearly. It was seamless to anyone but Goro. The rebellious fire he had shown the detective fit him much better than this weak, obedient act he was putting on. He couldn’t help but wonder how many other masks he had, who else Akira Kurusu could be at the drop of a hat, how many masks and faces he wore over his true face, how long could he hide that fire until it burned him alive.

For some reason, it intrigued Goro more than it should.

A black and white spotted cat trailed after Kurusu, nearly following the two of them out the door until he stopped the thing from doing so.

“We’ll be back soon,” He told the frustrated looking cat. How it managed to portray that emotion was still a mystery to Goro.

“You’re going alone?” The thing spoke in a high pitched voice. He had assumed Kurusu was joking when he mentioned a talking cat, but alas..... “What’s the deal with this guy? You spend all night texting him and now you’re off without me?”

“They’re quite attached to you, I see,” Goro gave the cat a plastic smile, as though he couldn’t hear it’s obnoxious whines. “How adorable. You did always seem like a cat person.”

It eyed him carefully. Kurusu didn’t seem fazed by the comments either one made, bending down to pet the cat casually, as though it wasn’t nagging at him.

“We can go five minutes without being attached at the hip, ok? I’ll be home before you know it.”

The cat began to protest, but it was ignored as the Kurusu practically pushed the two of them out the door into the streets of Yongen. 

The second they were out of sight of Sojiro or the cat, Kurusu’s entire demeanor changed. His brazen grin returned, his shoulders relaxed and his eyes lit up once more. It was as though it was two different people, and if they hadn’t shared the same face, Goro would have believed it to be so.

“Ready?” He asked.

“We’re waiting on you,” Goro said with a roll of his eyes. “If you feel so inclined, I would like to get this over with.”

Kurusu just shrugged casually, still smiling warmly as though Goro hadn’t spoken to him like he was the dumbest person on the planet.

The ride there was mostly done in silence, save for weak attempts to start a conversation from the cab driver that ended up falling flat. Kurusu had insisted on taking a cab rather than the train system. “Less chance to be seen” according to him, which Goro supposed would be beneficial. Though, he’s not sure which one of them it would be beneficial to.

The cab stopped in front of an open courtyard and array of shops that surrounded it. Kurusu moved to pay the drive before Goro could even think of doing so, and practically dragged him out of the taxi.

“You hungry?” He asked calmly as he pulled Goro by the arm. “This place has pretty good food too, otherwise I would’ve just taken some of Boss's curry here with me.”

“What the hell are you on about?” Goro hissed as he pulled himself free from Kurusu’s grip. “You asked me here to discuss the terms, not go out for food-”

“Akechi,” Kurusu said suddenly. His tone was flat, empty, another sudden change in his behavior. He stared at Goro for a moment, before taking a step forward and dropping to a whisper. “Look at the people around you.”

Goro hesitated for a moment, stealing a brief glance around. The few people around the deserted plaza had their eyes locked on the pair, staring at them intently. Dread crawled up his spine slowly as Kurusu spoke once more.

“We’re caught in the middle of a game that neither of us asked for. It’s entirely rigged against us, and the one in control is attempting to pit us against each other. If you want to win this game, you have to cheat, _you have to lie._ Otherwise, you’ll tip them off before it’s time and they’ll kill the both of us. He has eyes everywhere, even in the Velvet Room isn’t safe. He may be good at playing the long game, but in the short term? He has no patience. So, right now we just a pair of teenagers out getting lunch and hanging out and playing the game exactly as he intended. Just a bit of boring normalcy until it’s not. Understand?”

Goro was quiet for a few moments, before nodding. Akira breathed a sigh of relief, before relaxing his shoulders and turning away from him once more.

“There’s a crepes place just around the corner. You like those right?” He asked casually, the smile returning to his face. “You’ve probably haven’t eaten since this morning, right? Come on, I’ll pay~”

This was a game. A rigged, dangerous game with the two of them in the direct line of fire in the control of someone that wanted them both dead. They had to play along, pretend and act like everything was going the way he wanted it to until they found a way around it. Is that why Akira wanted to make a deal with him? A deal to outwit fate? How was he aware of this game, when even Goro wasn’t aware of it? Why would he tell him to begin with? Was this a way to get a leg up? Get rid of the competition? Or was this an earnest offer for help? Did he actually want to help….?

In order to win, Goro needed information, and the only way to get that information was through the person in front of him. A mutually beneficial agreement….perhaps Kurusu could help him. Whether that was when he was alive or dead, Goro would have to see. He didn’t plan on losing this game, not matter what

Goro forced a smile, pretending to be as ignorant of this horrible thing he was trapped in as he was moments ago.

“That’d be lovely.”

* * *

The food was, admittedly, rather delicious, and Kurusu had been correct in assuming that Goro hadn’t eaten since breakfast (add that to the increasingly long list of things that Kurusu shouldn’t know but does). He finished faster than he would have liked, feeling his cheeks heat with embarrassment as Kurusu stifled a laugh.

“You hungry?” He chucked. Goro wanted slap to smack that stupid smirk off his face.

They had sat themselves on one of the benches in front of the small, broken fountain. The eyes had left them, going back to their meaningless tasks as they gradually lost interest in the two. 

Goro still doesn’t feel at ease yet

“So,” Kurusu said after a while. “Let’s talk about this.”

He watched Goro curiously as he spoke.

“I’m Akira Kurusu, but you already know that probably,” He said with a weak chuckle. “I was framed for a crime I didn’t commit and was shipped out here to Tokyo like a dog who was ‘too violent to keep in the house’ instead of a kid who didn’t do anything wrong. My first day of school, I ended up at a castle and my gym teacher was wearing nothing but a cape and a speedo, I ripped my face off and lit myself on fire out of pure rage, and that was only the third day in Tokyo.”

Kamoshida, Goro assumed. A speedo is an….interesting choice in clothing for a shadow.

“I’m a Phantom Thief, a Trickster, a Wildcard, and a liar.”

Goro's breath caught in his throat. He knew of the possibility of other Persona users but, another Wildcard? He wasn’t sure another like him even existed….let alone one that lived in Tokyo. Or that they were sitting right next to him.

“I can’t go into the exact details of it, but to put it simply, there’s a false god pulling the strings of a lot of the bad shit that’s happened to us. He decided to pin the two Tricksters against each other, one that wanted to destroy the world and make it new-” He gestured to Goro vaguely. “-and one that wanted to improve the world as it is, make it better.

Kurusu pointed to himself. He looked oddly grim, his voice quiet and somber.

“’Ruin and rehabilitation’....basically, he wants you to ‘win’ so he could use it as an excuse to rule over humanity with his own bullshit ideals. And even if I do ‘win’ he rigs it so that I lose anyway. Basically, the False God is trying to fuck us over cause he’s on a power trip.”

Goro stared at him. He….wasn’t serious, was he? He couldn’t honestly expect Goro to believe this insane story, right?

“Is….is this some kind of joke?”

Kurusu let out a short laugh at Goro's comment.

“God I wish,” He let out a sigh, pushing up his glasses. “No, it’s unfortunately not a joke. He’s got complete and utter control over the Mementos.”

“.....control over the masses.”

_The eyes, the whispers, the ignorance-_

Kurusu pointed at Goro. “Bingo. The guy even made up a fake Velvet Room to convince us that he is Igor and not some evil holy asshole pretending to be cooler than he actually is. The actual Igor is hidden somewhere with the depth of the Metaverse. But we aren’t supposed to know that. We’re supposed to go against each other and eventually kill one another. And I don’t know about you, but I think that’s utter bullshit.”

Kurusu leaned back, stretching his arms behind his head casually. 

“I say, fuck this so called god! Fuck him, fuck his conspricy, fuck his rules, and fuck his bullshit game! He doesn’t get to play god and treat us like pawns. I’m not going to stand for that.” 

He smirked confidently at Goro, and he could feel the warmth burn in his chest once more.

“Rebellion is literally in my soul, you know? If the Trickster doesn’t rebel against fate itself, then what good is he?”

“You want us to work together against this ‘false god’ to….ruin this game?”

“Well, and save both of our lives. There’s more to this whole thing obviously but that’s the gist of it.”

A false god controlling the masses….Two Trickster poised against each other for the fate of humanity….this all seemed like some fantasy novel, one Goro would more likely pass up for sounding so ridiculous. But why would Kurusu tell him this? The idea of this being some over elaborate sick prank came to mind, but how would he even know about Goro’s plans? The Metaverse? _Loki?_ It’s not as though he hadn’t already seen impossible things in the past two years, and it wouldn’t make sense to simply make up such a story….

“If we aren’t supposed to know about his plans, how is that you know all of this, Kurusu?” Goro said after a long pause, eyeing him carefully. “I do not think a god would slip up so easily as to reveal himself to one of his most important pawns, no?”

Kurusu grimaced slightly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Right, ok….” He sighed after a moment. “This is gonna sound crazy, so I’m gonna ask you to bear with me, ok?”

“More insane than what you’ve already told me?”

Kurusu only offered a sheepish shrug in response. Goro let out an exasperated sigh. 

“Fine, continue. Please do make this more believable than your previous tale.”

“So….you know how your persona has his own unique ability that none other possesses?”

A strange way to dance around ‘make people go insane’.

“Certain other personas have different abilities like that, mine included.”

“Your persona is clairvoyant then? That seems like a poor oversight on the false god’s part.”

“No, that would’ve made things way easier the first time.”

The first time?

“No, mine has the ability to like…..” Kurusu paused. “He can like….undo the timeline? I don’t know how to phrase it….like everything that happens after a certain point is erased and starts back on April 9th, 2016.”

The day he arrived in Tokyo….Was….was he saying-

“Are you telling me you can time travel?” Goro asked bluntly.

Kurusu rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. He must have known how ridiculous it sounded.

“Kind of? It’s more like…..everything after that point resets. I always wake up in the same spot on the same train on the same time of day, so it’s not like I’m traveling back in time physically….it’s like sending my mind back in time, I guess. I know what’s going to happen in this year, what’s set in stone and what can be changed, what crazy shit is going to go down and how to prepare for it. Like….that?”

Goro was going to scream. This man was telling him was a time traveler who was here to save him from some evil fake god. He wanted to laugh in Kurusu’s face, tell him he’s not that gullible, that he’s an idiot if he thought this would work, and to leave this stupid market and never see him again, and Goro would have….had the story not made a bit too much sense.

Kurusu knows far more than he should not only about Goro but about the world itself. He knew things that should be out of his knowledge, but if someone had already lived through this ‘game’ and had learned all of it’s secrets….The way he talks about events that haven’t happened and the earnest look in his eyes hidden behind his glasses….

“You expect me to believe this?” Goro said anyway.

“Not really, no,” Kurusu admitted. “I didn’t really think you’d even agree to meet with me, in all honesty. But you’re always full of surprises so….”

He shrugged, but despite the nonchalant attitude he attempted to portray, Goro could still see the tension in his posture.

“Tell you what. You can ask me anything about something I shouldn’t know, so you know I’m not just messing with you. I mean, expect for things I can’t tell you right now cause it would fuck with the future, but there’s not a whole lot of that.”

Goro thought for a moment. Something only he knew, something that Akira could never know without Goro directly telling him….

“How did my mother die?”

He could see Akira flinch slightly out of the corner of his eye.

“Ah….really going for the throat, huh….?” Kurusu paused for a moment, before sighing. “She killed herself.”

“When?”

Kurusu paused once more.

“......June 5th.”

“How?”

“Jesus- she hung herself in the bathroom. You had just turned six, and you came home from the park to find your mother dead. You blame Shido, your _father_ for her death, because he’s a shithead and you’re hellbent on destroying him.”

Goro stared at him for a moment, his eyes meeting Kurusu’s own unrelenting gaze. He had that stubborn, powerful look in his eye that Goro was all too familiar with. The fury and frustration and passion hidden from the rest of the ignorant world, only seen by those who understood the feeling, those who knew what it was like to be the only ones who gave a damn outside of their own preset fate. Someone with a familiar desire for rebellion against the ignorance and idiocy of the world. It took a moment to hit him, that he wasn’t alone. There was someone else, someone like him who wanted to talk to him and help him and stand with him.

It would be so easy to kill Goro and get it over with. Play the game without any chance of losing, any risk of dying at the hands of someone that would do the same without hesitation.

And yet, here they were, Akira offering him a chance to not only get out of this game alive, but to tear it apart and burn it to the ground with him. He had the same desire for control and destruction as Goro did. He wanted them to tear down this god together, only leaving the two of them in it’s wake. Loki delighted in the idea of the death of such a god, as did Goro.

“Fine,” Goro stated bluntly.

“Hm?”

“I believe you.”

“Wait, really?”

Goro rolled his eyes, but Kurusu seemed relieved regardless. His shoulders held tension still, but it was far more relaxed.

“I wasn’t sure this would actually work. Damn, well, thanks I guess.”

“For what?”

Akira tilted his head a bit.

“For listening. Most people would have called me crazy.”

“You do sound absolutely insane, however….there's no logical way for you to know all that you do without being a mind reader…..or time traveler. Even still, I don’t understand how you know as much about myself as you do. I understand you would have discovered my plans, but you know things about me, clearly. Personal things.”

“You told me,” Kurusu stated plainly. “You told me a lot of lies, but you’ve told me plenty of truths too. Though, I have to say, a bathhouse is a weird place to tell me your life story.”

“A….bathhouse?”

Akira snorted, looking at Goro with a smile. 

“I mean, you were-” He stopped, correcting himself. “Well, you are not exactly one for the average, and I guess you were trying to throw me off or something? There were a lot of things going on with the Phantom Thief business and it was just a weird time. I don’t know, you’re a hard person to wrap my head around.”

Goro narrowed his eyes at Kurusu, tilting his head. “Am I?”

“Yeah. You’re the most unpredictable element in all of this. It’s a Wildcard thing, I guess. One wrong move or word, and suddenly you figured out my entire plan. You’re a pain in the ass, and time travel doesn’t seem to change that.”

He spoke it as though it was a joke, but Goro could understand the implications behind it. The Wildcard in both a literal and metaphorical sense. An ‘unpredictable element’.... he’s more than likely lost more than once. He had no idea how many times Kurusu has done this, or how many times Goro has ruined his plans with the detective’s own. How many times did he lose? How many times did Kurusu lose? How often did either of them win, if at all?

Akira had spoken as though he knew Goro, like they had been friends in a past life. Is that why Akira wanted to help him? Some form of sentimentality from a past lifetime? He couldn’t imagine that must have been like, when they were supposed to kill each other. It was more than likely a farce, something built on lies and was only there for him to gain the advantage over him, to gain information before trying to bring destruction for the teen.

But why would Goro delve such personal information himself? What would he have to gain from that? If this was a one sided friendship, why would Goro ever trust that piece of himself with Akira?

“Why did you reset the timeline to begin with?” Goro asked. “Did you fail?”

Akira winced a little, almost unnoticeably so but Goro was able to catch sight of it before his face returned to a neutral state.

“Sometimes, yeah. The year never ends up ‘right’ if that makes any sense. Like, someone ends up dying unnecessarily or we get caught or Yaldab-”

He caught himself, swallowing. 

“-the False God wins and we all end up dead. It’s hard to take the right steps in the right order to get the best possible outcome. Certain things need to happen, and certain things can _never_ happen, you just have to figure out which is which. Like for one, the Phantom Thieves have to have certain members, they have to join at certain times, no later and no earlier than their set dates, and I always have to be the leader. The targets must always be the same, they must be done in a specific order, I have to befriend a certain number of people….and you have to convince Shido that you're on his side. He’ll just have you killed, otherwise.”

“Even if convincing him means ending other’s lives?” Goro inquired, leaning closer to Akira in order to gage his reaction. His face didn’t change, but his eyes held confliction within the gray abyss.

“.....I told you, certain things have to happen. If I change them, things go awry fast. Neither of us want that.”

He was willing to let others die if it meant they live….This must be rather important to him. How many times has he done this to be willing to sacrifice his own moral so easily? He must have seen such destruction and depravity to be willing to let innocents die to achieve this perfect future. He was simply going to let Goro drive people to madness for the sake of his own goals….

Maybe they were more alike than he thought.

“Why tell me?” Goro asked plainly. “What makes you so sure that this won’t end in betrayal to assure my survival above all else? If you know me so well, then you know I would do anything to win this.”

“Oh no, you’ve betrayed me more times than I can count,” Akira said with a laugh, as though it was a casual conversation topic. “I still do not trust you to not turn against me at the first chance of vulnerability.”

“Then why? Especially if you know me to betray you so often.”

Akira leaned back for a moment, thinking.

“Why not? If you turn against me, well that really sucks but hey I tried at least. If you don’t, then shit we might actually have a shot at this. You are the biggest problem in all of this when it comes to getting right. There’s almost no way to predict what you’ll do next, and there’s almost no way I have any control over what you say or do. If I get you on my side, if we’re working towards the same goal, then that could be the key to getting this all right. We can finally have a world of free will where both of us can thrive in. I mean, it’s worth a shot right? Sure, it’d be easy to just kill you and get it over with but….”

Akira smiled warmly at Goro. 

“I’ve never been one for the easy route.”

Why did he want Goro alive to begin with? If what Akira said was true, then he had betrayed him more times than he’s ever worked with him. He knew that Goro would do anything to get what he wanted, even if it meant killing the only other Wildcard in the city. Akira knew the risk involved, and yet he was still offering Goro a chance to get them both of this alive….

It was such a strange thing, the idea of someone putting faith in him.

“This deal is a win-win situation for both of us,” Akira said. “You get your revenge on Shido, I get the outcome I want, and we both get to walk out of this alive. Obviously, there’s a bit more we have to work out. We can’t let anyone know about our partnership, not even the twins, which is gonna be hard but we could make it work…..We gotta figure out what’s already changed by the fact you know and how to correct that, I already have a plan for November and December, but that’s still a work in process, there’s the whole thing with Maruki….and shit, we have to convince the Phantom Thieves that we’re not working together….”

“You’ve put a lot of thought into something you weren’t sure would work,” Goro stated.

Akira shrugged in response, pushing his glasses back up.

“You have to plan things out, even if you think they won’t work. Everything can change in an instant, and you have to be ready for it. Being caught off guard almost certainly means failure and that means that the past few months will have gone to waste. It’s a long, boring, tedious process so it’s best to know what you're actually doing if you don’t want to waste your time. You know?”

Akira turned his body to face Goro, his eyes holding a wild passion and foolish hope that Goro still found himself entranced in.

“What do you say, Akechi? You want to cause a little chaos together?” Akira offered, bold and confident in his words once more. “We take down Shido, take down god, and save the universe a little, and then we’re free to do whatever we want. We’d be stuck together for an entire year, but…”

He smiled.

“I don’t think a partnership would be so bad, temporary or not.”

Goro thought to himself for a moment. This was a rather risky deal. If Akira was simply manipulating him in order to gain some sort of advantage in this game (if there isn’t even was a game, the False God story lacked sufficient evidence), or if he was someone out for revenge and just looking for a reason to destroy Shido, his lackeys, and Goro all in one go. Akira had admitted that Goro had betrayed him on more than one occasion, and the fact that Goro didn’t have specifics of how the betrayal happened only made him more suspicious towards Akira’s motives. Goro didn’t believe Akira wanted to help him out of selflessness. There had to be something he was gaining from this….Potentially relating to the danger of the timelines, perhaps he had lost someone or something along the way….something he wanted to save. Perhaps he was lonely, having done this for so long and he was simply reaching for a companion in his journey to kill a god. 

How pathetic.

He spoke as though this was the first time someone had paid attention to him, like a child who had been ignored for most of it’s life. He was a brilliant actor, but there was something earnest about his words when speaking with Goro, or the emotions he portrayed….it was all so honest. Comparing this to his quiet, calm demeanor when around Sakura and the cat was like night and day. 

How often did he stifle himself in the presence of others? What made Goro so important to reveal his true self around him and him alone?

~~_Perhaps the connection Goro felt wasn’t one sided either._ ~~

Akira was a strange person. Even though they hadn’t spent more than an hour together, Goro felt more at ease than he had in a long time, despite the subjects spoken between the two. The masks he wore, the lies he told….they all reminded Goro of himself, of what he needed to do to survive in this wretched world. Akira was doing just that, fighting to survive, but he wanted more than that.

Akira Kurusu wanted to _thrive_ in this world.

Goro had only been focused on revenge. It was the only thing he lived for, to see his father fall from his highest point, to shatter his reputation and bring him to the point of complete and utter despair, make him feel everything his mother felt before Goro, the living embodiment of his mistake puts a bullet through his skull. Everything after that was pointless. None of it mattered beyond the day Shido dies.

And yet, here he was, being told that there was another force out there causing even more calamity, something more threatening than Shido and his band of dogs. A creature parading itself to be a god as though it was somehow greater than them, using the two of them as pawns in it’s own game of playing savior. It was controlling them, turning them against one another like dogs in a ring. It was claiming to be above humanity, and thought itself to be incharge of them….as though it deserved that position. The thing was no different than any other rotten, piece of shit corrupt humans that Goro had disposed of plenty of times before.

He was not going to let another walk away unscathed. He would not be controlled and disposed of by some self righteous, holier than thou thing pretending to be a god.

Goro Akechi refused to be controlled by anyone other than himself.

“We are to work together to take down this False God in a way that both of us survive, yes?” Goro said finally. “My main goal regardless of everything is to destroy my father above all else, and this new story of yours doesn’t change that in the slightest.”

“I know,” Akira said, his eyes locked on Goro. “I’m not asking you to change your goals. I’m asking you to expand your horizons a bit. We take down a few problems together, let things fall into place, and then strike him down. I have a list of targets, and Shido is the second to the top of that list. I am more than happy to help you take him down. You’d be surprised how good of a team we make and I am really itching to commit some blasphemy if you are.”

Goro found himself smiling despite himself. For once, he let his actual smile present itself, a cruel, ugly cunning smirk that was ever remaniant of the dark and terrifying aura he held as the black masked assassin he was in the Metaverse. 

Akira did not flinch away, instead looking straight into the eyes of a killer without fear or hesitation. 

“Alright, Kurusu, you have yourself a deal.”

* * *

As much as Goro was dreading what exactly Kurusu wanted out of this deal, this was not what he expected. 

Akira had insisted they stick with his story of reunited childhood friends (they supposedly met in a summer during their youth back in his backwater town, which was the story they were both stuck with due to his uncreativity). They also had to keep up the facade of the thief and the detective dynamic, lest the public or even the Phantom Thieves caught on to their partnership before ‘it was time’. Akira was insistent that they do things in a certain order, even actions that would seem inconspicuous and unimportant were worried over as though it was life or death.

Which, Goro supposed it was.

Akira knew what he was doing, Goro had to admit. They always met at the shopping mall when entering the Metaverse, and they always deleted any sort of text conversation they had at Akira’s insistence. He did not want to risk any sort of suspicion from Shido or anyone else with prying eyes. Everything was planned out meticulously, down to last detail. Goro understood the need to schedule one’s life out, but even he would say that this amount was excessive, almost to the point of obsession. He was dead set on ‘getting this right’.

“How many times have you done this?” Goro had asked once over coffee. “These….”

“Resets,” Akira finished.

“Resets….” The detective repeated. “You have clearly been doing this for a while.”

Akira’s face remained still, Goro made a quick note of how he would pull on his bangs when he would become anxious. He did that every time Goro had asked about the time loops outside of what he told Goro. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t going to ask.

“I’m not really sure. I stopped keeping track around….twenty six? Twenty seven?”

Goro’s surprise must have shown on his face, because Akira offered a weak chuckle to offset the weight of his words.

“It made me really depressed after a while to count, so I just stopped. I need to keep my own moral up. You can’t have a mopey Trickster dragging everyone down you know?”

The smile on his face couldn’t have been more forced, but Goro let it go regardless. He must have been doing this for far longer than Akira had let on. The weight of the world hung heavy on his shoulders, his own needs discarded for the sake of a universe that could not care less about the teen. An unfair assessment, but add that to the crippling loneliness, the repetition of the hellish year, the madness that would have slowly overtaken him had he not been so resilient. A lesser man would have given up, or gone insane from the sheer pressure of it all.

But Goro learned quickly Akira was anything but a lesser man.

‘Joker’s’ skills in the Metaverse were astounding, far more skilled than his merry band of idiot thieves. Arséne was nothing less than a magnificent show of power that Goro could help but be amazed with. Despite his claims to want to blend into the crowd, in the normalcy of the world around him, his true colors showed the second he stepped into the Mementos. He turned from the quiet, meek little student into something wild and lavish and chaotic and so full of life. The rebellious fire that remained hidden behind his glasses had taken full form here. It was mesmerizing, almost as though every strike and spell was part of a dance with vibrant cascades of black and red.

“Your persona is truly something special,” Goro commented after a particularly harsh battle. “Even ignoring his unique ability, he’s rather fascinating.”

“Oh no, Arséne can’t do the timeline thing,” Akira said thoughtlessly. It was not easy to get him to delve information about his ability or the past failed timelines, but Goro had learned quickly that catching him off guard is the best method. It was frustrating for Akira, however it was equally as frustrating when he dodged Goro’s questions.

“Oh?” Goro said, attempting to hide the satisfaction in his voice. “I was under the impression that Arséne was your initial persona. My mistake.”

“No, he is-”

“But I thought your core persona was one who can cause the resets?”

Akira looked uncomfortable for once in the Metaverse, shifting his weight as he fiddled with the dagger.

 _“This is not my true form,”_ Arséne spoke instead. _“My fully ascended self is far stronger than this version of me.”_

True form? Goro had assumed that personas only came as they were, that they were stuck in the form they came in, and yet Akira’s could change? Why? Neither Loki nor Robin Hood had changed in the past two years. Had they changed in the past timelines? Or were they simply stuck the way they were?

“Another form….how fascinating,” Goro said with a grin. “I was under the impression that personas couldn’t change after their initial summon.”

“Yeah, most main personas do that once, twice if they're lucky. You can change their forms if you know what you're doing.”

Goro nodded and turned towards Akira, the thief shifting under his gaze.

“May I see his ‘true form’ then? I am rather curious to see what this being would look like.”

Arséne and his master exchanged a look, as though Goro was missing something obvious. Arséne laughed softly, and Akira shook his head.

“Not right now, no. You’ll get to see him at the end, I can promise you that, but if I summon him as Satanael, I could attract you-know-who’s attention. He's got a pretty strong presence and I don’t want to take the risk.”

 _“I do not think I could fit in such a small space as well!”_ Arséne said with a laugh. _“However, I am more than willing to take my third form, if that would satiate your curiosity.”_

He had another form as well? Somehow, that doesn’t come as a surprise. He was Akira’s persona. It wouldn’t be satisfying in the least bit, his desire to see this ‘Satanael’ was strong. But he could bury it for now.

“Please, show me.”

There was a wave of azure flame that engulfed Arséne and his master. 

“Raoul!”

The being that had replaced Arséne was a tall, winged being clad in red and black. It’s wings were metallic, painted with black and gold that shone brightly despite the dim lights of the Mementos. Arséne was still present in Raoul, with the sharp grin and bladed heels. He radiated confidence, talent, strength, rebellion, everything Akira was and will be. Raoul spread his wings with a joyous laugh, clearly enjoying this form.

 _“Ah, how I missed this! It’s such a rarity to finally be in this state once more!”_ Raoul said as he showed off his form. 

“My, my Joker….this is what you have keeping under wraps?” Goro said, eyeing the persona and then Akira. He was pulling at his bangs again. For someone that enjoyed attention so much, he shied away from it so quickly. “Why do you not use him more often? Both of you seem much more comfortable like this.”

Akira shoved his hands in his pockets, attempting to act aloof.

“Skull was with me when I first awakened Arséne. If he saw me use Raoul and make the connection, he’d start asking questions. And if I tell them I awakened him on my own, they would know I go into the Metaverse without them, and then they’d begin to wonder what else I was lying about and….”

“Suspension would grow and your plan collapses because Sakamoto can’t keep his mouth shut?” Goro finished for him.

“Yeah, pretty much. Can’t risk it.”

He said that quite often. He couldn’t risk someone finding out, couldn’t risk someone noticing his strength, couldn’t risk the False God knowing their plans, couldn’t risk a single slip up otherwise this year might be for nothing. He could not even show his true self to others without fearing the worst. They would know about his lies, his failures, his flaws and missteps and they would turn away from him. They would call him untrustworthy, a monster, a liar, a freak, and every other name under the sun despite being one of the most unusual and brilliant things to ever grace their presence. How lonely it must feel, to bury yourself under a torrent of lies and false smiles in order to gain the ending you so desperately desire….

And yet, neither of them were alone anymore.

“Well, I suppose you can use him more now,” Goro said. “When it is just us, of course. I doubt that the shadows will care much what weapon you use to slaughter them with, and I prefer Raoul’s presence over some of the _other_ personas you have among your arsenal.”

Goro doesn’t miss the small, soft smile that appeared on Akira’s face for a brief moment, before the mask returned and a smirk broke out across his face.

“Do you mean Mara?”

“Of course I mean Mara. I have no idea why you keep that thing around! You have plenty of others that are much strong and much less phallic in appearance.”

Akira chuckled, letting Raoul return to the mask to his face. Goro rolled his eyes, focusing his attention on anything other than the relief he felt swelling in his chest.

For once, he felt a little less alone.

* * *

“What the hell are we doing?” Goro asked for what felt like the fifteenth time.

Akira groaned, tossing another can in his nearly filled bag. Goro seemed to keep asking question after question about even the most pointless stuff, which was expected but still it was really annoying.

“I told you, we’re on a raid,” Akira said as he put another six hundred yen into the vending machine. 

“Yes, you’ve told me that,” Goro muttered as he looked over a can of ‘Mystery Stew’ with a mixture of disgust and curiosity on his face. “Could you elaborate on what exactly is a ‘raid’?

Akira gave another over exaggerated groan before turning back to the detective.

“I don’t have great access to a lot of Takemi’s products right now. I will eventually but for now I have to improvise. So, I’m doing the next best thing! Vending Machines!”

Goro raised an eyebrow, and Akira waved his hands in the air.

“I know, I know, but these things give me great healing and SP items. There’s thirty around Tokyo, and they all restock on Monday and I can get at least five or so out of it, best case scenario, and they usually hold around flourish products. So each week, I would get about….”

Akira hummed as he did the math in his head.

“About six hundred or so different health or SP items a week. This kind of stuff can save your ass, especially during the beginning of the year. Thus, every week I like to stock up, and since it’s the both of now with a high chance of getting attacked, I need to be more prepared than ever.”

“That’s….really smart actually,” Goro said, sounding a little astounded. Not the best complaint in the world, but Akira will take it. “That’s extremely creative.”

Akira winked, grabbing the last can from the machine and tossing it in with the rest.

“Told you, I’m careful about this stuff. If I end up dying then this will all be for nothing, so I’d like to avoid that if we can.”

“How do you even have the money to pay for this?”

“There’s a weird side effect of doing these resets. Certain things will kind of….carry over? Most things won’t, like scars and such, but certain things will. One of which is money, so I’m pretty loaded technically.”

“.....how in god’s name does that work?”

“No idea! But after a while, you kind have got to stop questioning things that help you out, so as long as the money sticks with me, I’m not complaining.”

“How can you just not know?” Goro said, trying to hide the amusement in his voice. “It’s _your_ ability from _your_ Persona.”

Akira shrugged, suddenly feeling embarrassed for some odd reason. 

“I never asked Satanael. Usually, when he appears, it’s not the most important thing on my mind.”

Akira zipped up the bag, changing the subject before the detective could say anything else.

“What do you do about heath items? You’ve been doing this for like two years already, so you must have had some way of getting items, and it clearly wasn’t from the vending machines.”

Goro frowned, picking up his own bag of cans with ease. He always asked plenty of questions, but he always hated being on the receiving end.

“I thought you were the all knowing one?” Goro attempted to deflect.

“You never told me.” _You didn’t tell me a lot, actually._

“I have some connections,” he said, being vague as though Akira was somehow going to miss the implications of Tokyo’s underground. It’s not like Akira didn’t have some of those either. “It’s rather limited, but I can usually conserve my supplies rather well.”

So that’s where the scars come from. 

“Well, now you don’t have to,” Akira said absentmindedly. “We’ve got cheap vending machine snacks, and I can probably get you a few discounts at Takemi’s. I can’t have you dying on me.”

He said it with a laugh, but nothing was really funny about it. He’d seen Goro die more often than not, and this entire timeline was based on Goro staying alive. He’d rather not watch him bleed out again. He didn’t want to add more fuel to the nightmares.

Maybe that was selfish. It probably was, and it’s not like he never got a good night’s sleep anyway. What’s another nightmare to add to it? He had ways to put off the exhaustion, whether through items or a massage from Becky or simply slipping into the Garden for twenty minutes.

Akira hadn’t told Goro about the Garden, despite his insistence on ‘honesty’ between them. He wasn’t sure why- no, he did know why but he simply didn’t want to admit it. The Garden was _his,_ a private place for him and only him. It was the only relief he ever got in the timelines, the only place he can truly take a second to breathe and exist without any responsibility for an hour or two. He didn’t want Goro to know about it. He didn’t want _anyone_ to know about it.

That, and how much problems it could cause if Goro knew he had a _palace_ of all things. God knows what he would do if he not only knew, but if he entered the palace as well. There was no true shadow version of him, thank god, but he still didn’t need _Goro Akechi_ poking around in his head.

No, he probably wasn’t going to tell him about the Garden. It would only cause more problems.

Goro eyed him, as if he knew what Akira was thinking, that Akira was lying and selfish and monstrous-

“Fine,” he said coldly. “You don’t need to invite me along, though. Especially if you keep insisting to pay for this yourself.”

He debated for a split second on telling Goro about his hatred of people paying for him, about the anxiety and fear whenever asking anyone for anything, about being yelled at for even asking for something outside of dinner ~~_‘we’re not made of money!’_ ~~ ~~.~~ Goro might understand, he hasn’t had an easy life. If anyone would understand, it would be him. 

No, somehow it felt a bit too personal ~~_more personal than telling someone about their mother’s suicide?_~~ Goro doesn’t want to know about that. Akira’s personal issues weren’t important in the long run.

“We’re partners, aren’t we? It kinda makes sense that we have to do things together.”

Saying they were partners felt strange, even if it was true. He had wanted them to be able to work together for so long, and now that they were it was….odd. It gave him this muddy, uncomfortable feeling that wasn’t necessarily good or bad, it was just….there. 

He smiled anyway, earning an eye roll from Goro. He doesn’t know about unseen tension in Akira’s heart, or he simply doesn’t ask. Maybe he should be grateful for that, or the fact that Goro had shown up today, or that he agreed to this at all. 

A selfish part of him wished that he would.

* * *

Akira talked to Goro far more than necessary, little invitations to go do pointless things or late night texts talking about nonsense. 

He couldn’t make sense of it, why he even wanted to be around Goro outside of what was needed. He knew of the atrocities Goro had committed, even if he actively ignored it whenever Goro mentioned anything about it. He had even fully admitted to not trusting Goro not to betray him, so he was so dead set on sending so much wasted time on things that didn’t matter.

And yet, Goro was playing darts with him regardless.

“Why do you keep doing this?” Goro said with a sigh. Akira looked over at him, fixing his glasses. Morgana had thankfully decided to take a walk, leaving the two to their own devices. 

“You mean kick your ass at darts? Cause it’s fun,” he teased. 

“You know what I mean,” Goro growled.

Akira shrugged, sitting himself down across from Goro casually.

“Gotta fill in the schedule that used to be filled by you somehow,” he said. “What better way to do that than actually spend time with you.”

“You could spend this time doing anything you want, and yet you are sitting here playing pointless games with a murderer.”

“I am doing what I want to do. Plus it’s not pointless! We’re having fun aren’t we?”

“‘Fun’ is irrelevant to our situation,” Goro said, not at all trying to hide the exhaustion in his voice. “I feel as though there are other things that could improve our chances rather than….this.”

Akira did not all seem fazed by his words, only leaning backwards in his seat.

“I don’t know. We can’t go clearing more of the Mementos without possibly making Morgana suspicious, it’s not like the vending machines are stocked until Monday, so it’s not like we can go on a raid, none of the confidants usually talk on this day-”

“You don’t know what to do with yourself so you resorted to bothering me instead,” Goro finished.

“Hey, you agreed to come.”

“You offered to pay in the first place.”

“You still agreed to come.”

Goro let out an exasperated sign, rubbing his temple.

“What are you gaining from this?”

Everything was an exchange for Akira. Every interaction was something given for something gained. Every conversation he gave whatever was needed, pretended to be someone else for a person to use….it got him trust, weapons, personas, information, or anything else he needed to further his goal. Every other action was discarded if it could not help further his own goal.

As ridiculous and cliche as it sounded, most of the discarded actions were what most perceived as basic necessities. Akira’s ‘friends’ only called when they needed something, and whatever solo activities he did was only to improve his own skills in the Metaverse, or making items to help them conserve SP more easily, or working five part time jobs for more money. Akira didn’t do anything that didn’t benefit them or the Phantom Thieves in some way.

It was infuriating. 

It’s not as though Akira didn’t have things he enjoyed, even if he tried to hide it, Goro could see the spark in his eyes. He had a love for games (ones that challenged his intellect seemed to keep his attention for much longer) he was an avid reader (philosophy and fiction especially, which Goro was thankful for someone he can finally converse with), he seemed to enjoy dancing (no matter how well he tried to hide it, the way he moved was like music), and he loved food and loved to cook even more (his food was admittedly fantastic). It’s not as though there was nothing he could do, and any of those rather than spend it with Goro of all people. There was nothing for either of them to gain from this, so what were they doing here?

“I just want to spend time with you,” Akira said. “Why is that so hard to believe?”

“You do know exactly who I am, correct?”

“Naoto Shirogane?”

“You’re not funny.”

Akira tried to stifle his laughter poorly. 

“I don’t know, I think I am.”

“Well, take it from me, you’re not.”

“Look, I just want to hang out with you. Do I really need a reason?”

 _“Yes,”_ Goro hissed under his breath. “Your attachment to me is beyond comprehension. I could put a bullet through your head and you would still ask me out for coffee.”

“You already did,” Akira casually commented, his attention already lost in his phone. 

Goro didn’t know why he was surprised. He knew that there was a high chance that his past selves had succeeded or at least attempted to kill Akira in his war path to get his revenge and win the game, and yet he spoke about it as though he speaking about the weather, as though it was a completely normal thing that wasn’t worth dwelling on. There was no malice in his voice, no resentment or anger or hate or just…. _anything,_ as though he wasn’t talking to his own murderer. Did he not care? How could someone simply go and play games with the man that had actively tried to kill him, possibly multiple times? How could anyone not only want to help him, but actually spend time with him?

Akira seemed to notice his stunned silence, so he spoke once again.

“Don’t dwell too much on it. I’ve gotten over it, and it doesn’t matter much anymore.”

How does it not matter? How can someone just ‘get over’ their own murder? How can someone disconnect themselves from their emotions so easily? Goro could disconnect himself from those around him, but to separate one’s own emotions from themselves? His own entire plan was built on his own rage and desire for vengeance, wasn’t Akira’s plan based on destroying the being that caused all of this? How can one tap into that rage without feeling it? How does one go on the path of vengeance with such a disregard for one’s own emotions?

…..but Akira’s entire plan hinges on his disconnect. Everything he does is taken in stride, his own emotions pushed down as they were only a hindrance. At some point in the years, he simply disregarded them as ‘unimportant’. He sees no benefit by dwelling on the past, only learning from past mistakes. Whatever hate, sadness, anger or agony he felt was ignored, put aside for his own idea of greater good. The way he spoke of himself was so dismissive despite his importance in the entire plan. His own needs were viewed as less important compared to the needs of others, as he needed them to work with him, be compliant to his wishes. He is already willing to make the sacrifices needed, but he needed others’ loyalty, their cooperation and willingness to do what he needed them to….

He already had Goro’s cooperation, and yet Akira spent so much time he should be deeming unnecessary with him. It couldn’t be out of boredom, he had a habit of filling his schedule to the brim and complained about the lack of hours in the day. Was it just routine at this point? He just didn’t know what to do with himself when there was nothing to be required? What sort of pathetic existence was that? 

Was this just a way for him to have some kind of personal enjoyment under the guise of necessity? Was he simply using Goro to have some sort of normal teenage experience? Trying to pretend he was an average student that went out with his friend and played darts or having them visit him at work or listening to them complain about their obnoxious coworkers without having to worry about saying the wrong thing or giving the wrong present….

Akira was simply lonely, and was using the only person they could truly talk to in order to curb the feeling somewhat. Another thing they shared, apparently.

Goro sighed and stood up from his seat, catching Akira’s attention once more.

“Do you have any experience playing chess?”

* * *

Madarame’s arrest came days after Akira predicted. Another uproar of rumors and whispers begin to run wild throughout Tokyo, with all those with something to hide completely on edge. Paying off the police wasn’t enough anymore, _anyone_ could be targeted. The police are at loss, and they did what they always did when they had no idea what to do, they turned to Goro, because the ‘Detective Prince’ should know how to handle this right?

Of course, the group of trained adults turning to a teenage student isn’t even blinked at, and everything falls on his shoulders.

Even Shido had called him in a bout of paranoia. Goro didn’t even get so much as a hello as he answered.

 _“I’ve been hearing about these ‘Phantom Thieves of Hearts’, should I be worried?”_ Shido asked, as if Goro should know. Even if he does, he shouldn’t know. 

“Potentially,” Goro said bluntly. He needed to act as if he wasn’t on good terms with the leader and met up for coffee nearly every other day, and if there was one thing Goro was good at, it was acting. “But, the chances of you being a target currently are low. The attacks are more than likely based on people who are exploiting their power over them or someone they care about. Unless you have hurt one of the group personally, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about at the moment.”

Goro reveled silently as Shido let out a nervous cough.

 _“You’re going to be taking care of this, right?”_ Shido said, a harsh demand thinly veiled as a question. 

“Yes, sir,” Goro said, forcing down the bile in his throat with a smile. God, he could not wait until December.

 _“Don’t screw this up,”_ Shido said just before he hung up. What Shido wanted him to do exactly, when the identity of the Phantom Thieves should be entirely a mystery to everyone, as if he was supposed to pull some magic mirror out of his ass to find out their identities. It’s not as though he had other work, school, assignments, keeping up his own appearances with the public and god knows what else in addition to the gigantic case he was just given,

The rage in his heart burned, but he swallowed it down with silent promises that he would be able kill the bastard later. His path was carved through years of bloodshed and magic, and he was going to make the asshole pay.

Though, a trip to the Mementos to tear apart some shadows wouldn’t hurt.

But even that would have to wait, he had the TV interview today and then the brief meeting with Akira’s team. The plan that Akira had set up was….questionable, at best.

“You want me to deliberately mess up in front of them?” Goro had said. “I thought you wanted them to be oblivious to our plans.”

“They won’t know about _our_ plans,” Akira said cheekily. “Just your’s.”

Goro stared at him dumbfounded, but bit the snarky comment he wanted to say.

“How does that benefit us?”

“Look, so far, there’s only one way November usually goes. You blackmail us during the culture festival, and we go through Sae’s palace. You’re original plan was getting us arrested, but only I get end up arrested and you were going to fake my suicide by killing me. But, the Phantom Thieves knew of your plan so we did this whole thing with convincing Sae of everything and tricking you into shooting a cognitive version of me instead of the real me and smuggling me out somehow. _But_ this time, since you know, you’re going to fake my suicide and smuggling me out instead, cause it’s the only way to sasify Shido and make sure he won’t kill you too early. So you’re going to blackmail us, ‘plan’ to kill me by pretending to be with us, get me arrested, fake my death, camp out somewhere for a month and then go after Shido. But none of that can happen if you don’t tip us off to the fact that you are a Persona user by acknowledging what Mona says about pancakes, so….”

“That is the most….idiotic plan I’ve ever heard. How did you ever convince Sae of anything?”

“Don’t know, but it worked,” Akira said with a sigh. “I know what I’m doing, just play along ok?”

Goro rubbed his temple, trying not to regret his many, many life choices that led him to this point. He knows that Akira was telling the truth, and yet somehow wrapping his head around that ridiculous plan was….harder than expected.

“You do know what happens in those interrogation rooms right? They’re not exactly pleasant,” He said eventually.

“I know, Akechi. I’ve lived through it,” Akira said with an exasperated sigh. That wasn’t as reassuring as he thought. “I know what’s going to happen. I know what the thieves are going to plan when they find out, I know that Shido’s not going to accept anything less than my death, I know the police will buy it without my body, and I know that it will work. It’s the only plan that consistently works. It’s insane, but it works. Can you please just go along with it?”

Goro glared at him, meeting Akira’s equally strong gaze. There was no way of convincing him otherwise, he knew. The only person more stubborn than Goro _was_ Akira, which was saying something. Akira’s own refusal from deviating from his own plans was only met by Goro’s desire for guaranteed revenge. It was a few tense moments before Goro chose to relent. He had to trust that Akira knew what he was talking about and even if found it completely crazy and plain stupid and _dangerous._

Goro had kept tabs on the Phantom Thieves from the beginning, both in and out of the Metaverse. The cat, Morgana, was a being from the Velvet Room according to Akira and the embodiment of human hope, though he apparently didn’t remember (how one forgets that is beyond Goro’s comprehension). He was extremely insecure, insisting that he was a human and not a cat, despite clearly being a cat. He was snarky, and rather demanding, and it took all within Goro to not snap at the damn thing to shut up, for the love of god. He never did though, he simply pretended to be ignorant of it’s pointless comments whenever he occupied Akira anywhere.

Sakamoto was arguably worse than the cat. He was loud, aggressive, rude, obnoxious, temperamental, vulgar and was just so damn stupid. He blurted out about them being the Phantom Thieves on multiple occasions, despite the various smacks and scoldings from his teammates. It’s almost like he wanted them to be caught. If Goro hadn’t had an agreement with Akira, he was sure they’d be caught or dead by now. It seemed like every five minutes he needed to bunt in with some moronic comment or question, and it made Goro want to pound his teeth in.

Takamaki was the most tolerable out of the three, thankfully, but that’s not saying much. She was the best friend of the girl that was targeted by Kamoshida and threw herself off the roof. That was enough motivation for becoming the Phantom Thief, and she seemed far more determined than the other two. But she was still an idiot, and her own temper got the best of her at times. Her desire to be bold and strong came off as desperate, like a child claiming that they’re just as tough as the big kids on the playground. She could hold herself decently in battle, but she let her insecurities get the best of her and she ends up becoming reckless and impulsive. Goro supposed if things were different, they would have gotten along fine. But they weren’t, and Goro still didn’t like her.

Kitagawa was infuriating in an entirely different way, being Madarame’s prodigy. He was like a child, naive and irresponsable, but also managed to be the most pretentious man on the planet. His entire existence revolved around art, and that seemed to be the only thing he ever spoke about. He spent his money on the most pointless objects instead of food, so Akira always ends up buying or making him some, which only makes it more aggravating. Goro never understood why he even cared so much, if he was that stupid to spend his last dollars on another paint brush instead of cheap food, then let him strave. Akira was defensive of all of them, but Kitagawa especially so. Goro couldn’t comprehend what was so special about the artist to make him worth the money spent on him.

Akira has refused to tell him who the future thieves were out of paranoia that it might cause things to change and thus rendering the whole timeline null and wasted. Goro certainly wasn’t a fan of this, but knew that he still had a point. He couldn’t promise that he wouldn’t do something once he had the knowledge.

Meeting the thieves at the station was just as frustrating as he expected it to be. None of them even so much as noticed his ‘slip up’ (though he was sure Akira would mention it later) and Sakamoto was just as vulgar and rude as always. His small greeting to Akira, on the other hand, was immediately caught by them.

“Wait, ya know this guy?” Sakamoto asked, as though he wasn’t even in the room.

Akira shrugged silently, and the cat spoke for him. “They’re childhood friends apparently! He comes around the Leblanc a lot when you guys aren’t around.”

“Yes, we do,” Goro said despite the cat’s explanations. “Akira and I met years ago and only recently met once more in Tokyo. I’m grateful that we’ve been able to spend time together again.”

Goro’s plastic smile was enough to satiate Morgana and Takamaki, but Sakamoto still seemed suspicious, or maybe he just didn’t like Goro.

“How come ya never told us about him?” He asked Akira. “It’s kinda weird for you to keep secrets….”

“Ah, that was a request from me, actually,” Goro answered for him. “My apologies, but I prefer my privacy when I’m just with others. I’ve had people simply use my name in order to boost their social standing. I know Akira wouldn’t do that, but I simply enjoy spending my free time without worrying about the media.”

“Ya famous or somethin’?” 

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far, but I have had a few appearances on TV.”

“You do look kind of familiar,” Takamaki said. Goro pretended to check the time, and let out an airy chuckle. 

“My apologies, but I should really be going. It was nice to meet you all,” Goro said, attempting to excuse himself from exhausting conversation.

“Wait, Akechi,” Akira spoke up for the first time, reaching into his bag despite the mewls from Morgana. He searched for a moment, before pulling out a small blue plastic container full of curry and handed it to Goro. He looked up at Akira in confusion.

“You said you haven’t eaten, so….curry,” Akira said with an anxious shrug. Oh, well that was….thoughtful? He must have known that Goro had skipped lunch, so he must have made it in advance. Really, he didn’t need to treat Goro like a child. He was fine.

Akira seemed nervous for some reason, and quiet as well….it’s seemed that his teammates still had that effect on him.

Goro put on a plastic smile, trying to cover for his small misstep after being caught off guard.

“Oh um...thank you. I’ll be sure to make it up to you,” Goro forced out, only met by a nod from Akira. “I should really be going now. Have a good day.”

It took all within him to not run out of the room, as Goro noted silently to kick Akira’s ass later in the Mementos for making him look like an idiot.

~~_Although, he was thankful to be able to sneak in lunch between interviews._ ~~

* * *

“How did you acquire so many different types of personas?” Goro asked during one of their excursions in the Mementos. “I know you have been doing this for far longer than I have, however….”

The envy in his words was clear, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He had been doing this for nearly two years now, and he has only managed to gain only two different personas, which were only gained near the beginning of his ‘career’. Goro knew that he was gaining and perfecting his personas for many, many more years but he had _hundreds_ of them, many of which he hadn't even seen yet. How the hell did Goro only have two while Akira had so many? It didn’t seem fair.

“Oh, well, there’s a couple of different ways,” Akira said as he flipped his dagger absentmindedly. “You can get them through recruiting shadows, which is probably the easiest way for you. You can fuse them in the Velvet Room too, but you have to have the right ones and the right materials for that. There’s also getting them through confidants, but….”

He shot a side glance at an unconvinced Goro.  
“I don’t think that would work for you.”

“How do you recruit shadows?” He asked as he crossed his arms.

“Well, you have to negotiate,” Akira said casually. Goro had never had a shadow speak past it’s cries of pain. He’s seen them beg to let them go, give him money or items but letting them live seemed pointless. “You kind of got to sweet talk them, get them on your side, convince them you deserve them….stuff like that.”

“You sweet talk shadows?” Goro repeated. “Are you that shameless as to beg?”

“Not always begging,” Akira said, letting Goro’s insult go straight over his head. “Sometimes they’re begging you. Some like it when you’re funny or confident or serious or kind, it really depends on the shadow itself. It’s all about knowing what they want to get what you want, and you have to actually accept them into your heart. You have to, as cheesy as it sounds, open your own heart to others….? I don’t know how to phrase it….like being in sync with the shadow themselves.”

“That’s idiotic.”

“Hey, you wanted to know.”

Silence fell over for a moment.

“.....you wanna to try it out?”

“........yes.”

They had decided to try to negotiate with some of the weaker shadows. Akira had recommended Pixies, as they were “pretty easy to win over” according to him.

Of course, Akira seemed to be full of shit.

_“I have loved ones who would miss me. You catch my meaning, yes?”_

“You think I care?”

_“What is irritating you so much?”_

“Why the hell do you care?! That’s none of your business!”

_“I insist you surrender yourself to the authorities!”_

“Really? What ground do you have, when the gun is pointed at your head?”

_“Is there really any benefit for me if I joined you?”_

“I don’t know, how about- not dying on some dirty ass train tracks?!”

“Crow, I’m begging you to stop,” Akira groaned, rubbing his forehead as he stepped in front of Goro. He turned to the downed Pixie in front of them. This had to be the fiftieth one they’ve run into and attempted to recruit, with no luck. “It’s all a matter of feeling. Sometimes, you just have to go with your intuition.”

The shadow thought for a moment, before nodding.

“Very well! I shall join you on your journey and become your mask!”

The Pixie vanished, becoming part of Akira’s gigantic arsenal of personas. He looked over at Goro, who met his gaze with a scowl.

“Are you trying to show off?”

“I just can’t watch this anymore,” Akira said with a tired sigh. “You need to read the room, Crow. You’re making this way harder than it needs to be. You need to understand and say what they want to hear. You have to be the person they want to be a part of.”

“You simply want me to lie so a weak little shadow can join me?” Goro hissed. A Pixie was the last thing he needed. He couldn’t even promise that Loki wouldn’t tear the thing apart. “I do not see the benefit in recruiting such a weak shadow.”

Akira rolled his eyes. “I think we should take a break. I’ve got work in twenty minutes anyway and we can try again tomorrow.”

“I can do this,” Goro stated, as if it was needed. He wasn’t going to be outdone by Akira any time soon, but this was far more difficult than he made it out to be. Akira made it look so damn easy when he did it. A part of him knew that his own aggression was getting the best of him, but he was far too proud to admit that. 

“I’m not saying you can’t. I’m saying we should take a break,” Akira said. “You’re only going to get more frustrated which is going to make it harder-”

“We don’t need to.”

“Crow-”

“No. I can do this-”

The rattling of chains was enough to catch their attention to the shadowy mass behind them quickly closing the space between the two teens and itself. 

“Oh shit-!” Was all Akira could get out before the Reaper shot off an array of gunfire at the two of them. Goro was able to dodge out of the way, Loki instantly manifesting behind him and retaliating with Laevateinn before he could even order him to. The sword clashed into the barrel of the shadow’s gun, blocking the attack but it was enough to keep it preoccupied.

The attack was enough to distract the Reaper long enough for Goro to get his bearings. The size of the tracks were small, not ideal for fighting a shadow of it’s rather large size. There was a safe room not too far from here, but the Reaper was blocking the already small path. They could try to run….but god, Goro _really_ wanted to beat the shit out this thing. He was already having a terrible day, Shido was on his ass for everything and the god forsaken Pixies only managed to get on his nerves and piss him off more, and with the appearance of this asshole….

Goro was going to slaughter the thing.

“You alright?” Akira called from the other side of the tracks. Goro nodded, even though the other teen probably couldn’t see it under the dim lights of the Mementos. 

“I’m going to gut this bastard!” Goro growled with a deadly amount of enthusiasm. His sword is at his side before Akira could even say anything, tell him to stop or calm down, and he bolted forward towards the shadow.

The Reaper shoved Loki off of it, focusing his attention on the creature’s master rushing towards him with his blade raised. The shadow raised it’s weapon towards the sky and fired. A wave of lightning came down from the ceiling above. Goro dodged out of the way, but he could feel his blood burn with hot pure rage.

“Destroy them, _Loki!”_

Eigaon crashed into the Reaper with a roar. The shadow staggered back, before it fired off another bullet directly at Goro. There was a split moment of panic as he realize what it was about to do, what it was about to hit, but not quick enough to move out of the way.

“Debilitate!”

Akira’s own spell was enough to weaken the attack, but the bullets ripped through Goro’s shoulder and stomach. A raged filled scream echoed through the air, whether from Loki or from Goro he wasn’t sure. He could feel the scorching blood spill down his legs and onto the floor. His grip on his sword tightened as a pained growl escaped his throat. He forced his legs to move forward and his sword collided with the form of the Reaper.

It let out a distorted cry, and retaliated with a kick and a wave of fire that knocked him backwards, his blood coloring the floor scarlet. His body screamed in protest as he forced himself to stand, his little exposed skin newly stained with blood and agonizing burns. His head spun from the collision with the metal tracks, black spots forming in his vision. The Reaper aimed at Goro once more, and fired. 

“Tetrakarn!”

The shield protected him from the array of bullets that came from the furious shadow. Akira was behind him before Goro could even realize what was happening, steadying him with one hand and gripping his gun tightly in the other. 

“Don’t run off! You’ll get yourself killed!” Akira shouted with an anger that would have seemed out of character to anyone else. “Kaguya Hime!”

His persona switched in instant, and the shield vanished with it. Kaguya Hime formed and attacked with a protective ruthlessness he’s never seen from Akira before. The arrows struck the Reaper in a show of light, enough to distract the shadow for a few moments as Diarahan washed over Goro.

“I….I’m fine-” He choked out, only to be cut off by Akira.

“Bullshit!” He pulled Goro out of the way over a stray bullet, and fired off his own gun at the shadow. “Stop playing the loner! We’re partners, if you have forgotten that already! You can’t die here!”

Goro didn’t make any sort of snarky comeback or rude comment, only nodding in response. Akira was right, in a way, he was _not_ dying here. This was not how he died. It didn’t matter how much it hurt, this is _not_ how he goes out. He had far too much to do still. 

He was going to be the one that killed Shido, then death can take him.

But it was odd how often he had forgotten that Akira actually had his back. For the longest time, it had just been Goro, his hate and his lies against everything and everyone. There was no one else, there couldn’t be anyone else. And yet, here was this person fighting to keep him alive.

How strange it was to be cared about.

“I want to kill it,” Goro stated plainly, his voice horse and furious. The Reaper’s attention focused back on the two of them, it’s chains echoing throughout the Mementos.

Akira eyed him carefully, but nodded. “I can back you up.”

“Don’t say it, just do it,” Goro said, before he rushed forward once more. Akira followed close behind, switching personas once again to Mother Harlot. “Loki!”

His own persona gleefully cast out Megalodon on the shadow. The world around them shook as the spell exploded on the Reaper, causing it to stagger back.

“Ice Age!”

A wave of ice formed before the shadow could even understand what the two were planning. The ice froze around the Reaper, holding it in place and piercing it’s chest as Goro rushed forward.

“Finish it!” Akira said, sounding almost like an order but it felt much more like encouragement. 

Goro took his words with such enthusiasm, finding himself moving on top of the ice, his jagged sword raised above his own head. Adrenaline ran through his veins as his sword buried itself in the Reaper’s chest, covering the both of them in a sickly dark liquid. It didn’t scream or shriek as the other’s had, only remaining silent as his sword pushed further into it’s chest. It tilted it’s head, staring at him with it’s single milky white eye. 

_“You hold no fear of the end in your heart. You only hold fury,”_ A raspy, echoey voice rang out inside his head. _“You kill because you must. You kill because it’s all you know. You kill because it’s your only comfort. No fear of death, and no fear of slaughter….”_

The voice paused for a moment.

_“I heed your resolve, Harbinger of Death. May the power of death only add to the afterlife as your mask….”_

The Reaper vanished with a flash of red light, leaving only the black liquid as evidence of it ever existing in the first place. 

Goro felt something within him shift and change, something cold and unforgiving take it’s place in his heart. It was not like the mocking cruelty of Loki, or the false warmth of Robin Hood. It was empty, unfeeling, not malicious nor forgiving. It felt void, yet solid.

Like death.

Goro is standing on the floor of the Mementos, not quite remembering when he did so. He felt....eerily calm as the adrenaline and thrill from the battle began to fade, leaving only the burning in his chest and the blood still dripping off his newly stained sword.

“Did you-!” Akira’s voice snapped him out of his momentary daze. Goro looked over at his partner, seeing him staring at the other in complete shock, eyes wide and mouth agape. “How- did you- what?!”

He stuttered for a moment, before taking a breath to compose himself.

“.....did you just….recruit _Reaper?”_

Goro paused for a moment, before letting out a sigh.

“As much as I hate to admit it, you were right. I was making that far harder than it needed to be.”

Akira stared at him in disbelief for a moment, before letting out a tired groan. 

“I cannot believe you. I’ve been trying to get him as a persona for _years_ now, and you get him by accident?! What the hell?!”

Goro felt a pang of satisfaction at Akira’s words, a smirk crossing his features.

“What happened to ‘understand what the shadow wanted’?”

“There is literally no way of negotiating with Reaper. I thought it was impossible to acquire him after a while.”

“Well, you were wrong, clearly. You must have needed to try a bit harder.”

Akira rolled his eyes as he checked the time.

“Annnnnd now I’m late for work. Sojiro is going to kill me! God, you’re the worst.”

His words held no real bite to them, no real malice as he could see the corner of Akira’s lips quirk upwards ever so slightly. He looked exhausted, but satisfied, almost proud. His mask hid enough of his eyes to obscure whatever he was truly feeling, and yet Goro could tell from the little movements he did, the way he loosely gripped his dagger or played with his hair absentmindedly. He was happy, and no matter how well he hid it, his partner could see it.

Goro let out a chuckle, taking pleasure in the satisfaction of the newly formed persona in his heart. Is this how Akira felt every time he acquired a new one as well? No wonder he had so many. The absolute thrill from gaining the cold being was more than enough.

“Your envy is showing, Joker. It’s not a great look on you.”

“I hate you.”

* * *

Niijima blackmailed the Phantom Thieves on the fourteenth of June. Goro honestly didn’t think she had it in her, but perhaps he shouldn’t be surprised. No matter how much of a coward the girl was, she was still a pushover when it came to authority. There was no doubt in Goro’s mind that the principal had enlisted her to find the identities of the thieves, and get them to act against someone she viewed as unjust, all while looking down upon them as if she was any better. 

In fact, her act of blackmail only made her worse than them.

Akira defended her regardless, as though she hadn’t just blackmailed his entire friend group into doing her bidding for god knows how long if she didn’t simply join them after a certain amount of time. Goro still couldn’t understand it, as he knew Niijima personally, and she wasn’t worth it. She was bossy and controlling half the time, and the other half she was desperately trying to impress anyone who would look at her for more than five seconds. He supposed that after her awakening she became somewhat more likeable, a little more stubborn and a little less desperate, but regardless, the bad taste was still in his mouth whenever he looked at her.

Akira hadn’t been around as much both before and after her blackmailing. She was following him around for evidence, apparently, and ‘didn’t want Goro getting caught in the middle’ of her investigation (though he wouldn’t call it an investigation as much as Niijima poorly attempting to follow Akira around in secret while burying her face in a magazine, which was just as pathetic as it sounded). Maybe that’s why Goro felt so on edge, and why he had been rather vindictive in his words when speaking with her briefly. It was done in his signature Detective Prince passive-aggressiveness and he enjoyed watching her shrink in on herself but being unable to do anything about it. Being able to do such things was one of the little pleasures he could salvage outside of the Metaverse. 

Goro didn’t realize the correlation until he was at home and it clicked. He had gotten so used to Akira’s presence in the past few months, the invitations and the Metaverse trips and the late night texts that suddenly being without it for three weeks had thrown him off. The horror built in his gut when he realized he had grown _attached_ to the thief. Was he really so weak to become codependent on him? Was he really that lonely that he can’t live with attention from Akira for five minutes? No, he couldn’t be that pathetic. 

Perhaps it’s because of their stasis. He had never met another persona user, let alone another Wildcard, so perhaps them being so close for so long made it difficult being apart, that once Wildcards meet, they become drawn to one another….somehow that was more irritating than simply being upset that his friend had been so distant from him.

Wait.

 _Were_ they friends?

Akira sure acted they were, as he was constantly inviting him out and doing things with him….was that what friendship was? He didn’t exactly have much experience when it came to that. Goro had mostly considered their relationship a business interaction, something made out of necessity. But business partners don’t have coffee together at work, they don’t invite the other out for billiards or go out to the Jazz club. Everything Akira did with his other friends, he did with Goro (except he was genuine when he was with Goro). He knew they shared a connection, and Akira was attempting to null the loneliness when with him, but even still the amount of time they spent together was excessive, with no clear reason why. 

Did….Akira _actually_ like him? Was this all Goro missing the only person that ever seemed to enjoy his presence? He was simply lashing out at the person who was causing the space between them?

That was idiotic. He shouldn’t be getting attached to Akira at all, this relationship was only temporary until they took down the False God in control of the Mementos. He was acting like a child who had his toy taken from him. Just because Akira saw this as a friendship doesn’t mean it actually was one….

But it wasn’t as though Goro hated the idea. If he was truly being honest with himself, he rather enjoyed Akira’s presence when he’s not with his friends, even if he’d never admit it outloud. It was one of the few times Goro actually felt relaxed outside of the Metaverse. He felt relief hidden behind the cloud of annoyance whenever he saw Akira’s childish invitations to go play darts or to come by the Leblanc. It was a time where they could actually be themselves, for a brief few moments they could be honest with one another, with genuine smiles and laughter 

Actually, Goro liked the idea, far more than he expected it to.

He liked seeing Akira’s spark he showed no one else, the words that no one else got to hear, the emotions that were muted whenever anyone else was around, the parts of his own soul that was only ever shared with Goro, and only _this_ version of him ever got to see these things. No other version of him ever got to see to part of him, and that _excited_ him. None of them ever got to see Akira in his entirety, no matter how hard they must have wanted to. Or perhaps they didn’t care enough to do so, and they simply died without ever truly knowing what it was they missed. He had been alone for so many years and now….

Now he had someone. 

Goro has never had anyone before. There was no one worth the time of day, ~~_or ever gave him the time of day_ ~~ worth holding onto. He’s had aquanantences, colleagues, but friends? Partners? That was impossible for him. They had no place in his life, no way of existing past a few days before they became promptly part of the background or they simply died out before anything came from it. There was simply no way of having those types of relationships.

At least until now. Akira had come and uprooted his entire life with a few words and offering of partnership. And suddenly Goro had someone, someone who cared about him and spent time with him and _liked him-_

Akira had shown him everything of who he was, every part of his soul through little smiles and strange stories and unneeded gifts that was only seen by Goro’s eyes. No one else was allowed to see it but him, and only him.

It was something Goro held on to tightly, like a vicious dragon hoarding a precious stone he kept selfishly hidden from the rest of the world. He protected and clung to those moments almost possessively. He _loved_ it, being the only person that could fully understand Akira, and being near the only person he could ever understand him, the only person that even tried to understand him. It was a thrill, seeing him genuinely fight at full power, no longer held down by his teammates or the confidants he spoke so highly of. It felt wrong and horrible but so wonderful and accelerating all at the same time. It was an entirely new feeling, something wild and cruel and chaotic and dangerous and he _reveled_ in it. 

They were partners, the two Tricksters against the entire world. It was one of the only things Goro had to live for outside of revenge. Akira had never given up on him in all these years, he was still fighting so they both could live together. 

Perhaps he shouldn’t be clinging to the idea of them so tightly, but Goro didn’t particularly care how childish or wrong it may be. He finally, finally had something other than hate to hold in his heart. He wasn’t sure what such an emotion was, but it was _his._

_And his alone._

* * *

“Fenrir, huh?” Akira said curiously, studying the persona intently. “Where’d you get him from?”

Fenrir himself was a fearsome looking beast, with jagged, sharp rows of fangs and wild, obsidian colored fur. The wolf was gigantic, easily towering over both Akira and Goro. It’s eyes were burning golden and scarlet, glowing almost in the dimly lit safe room of the Mementos. A long, golden chain hung heavy from around his body, leaving a harsh wound in it’s wake.

Goro was practically beaming with a sharp smirk, proud clearly to show off his new persona. Fenrir shook his fur, acting much like a dog would, his eyes tracking Akira intensely.

Akira wasn’t even sure that Goro could even gain any personas outside of Robin Hood and Loki at first. He’s never so much as seen him use or obtain any other sort of persona, and he thought that after two years of him working alone, it simply wasn’t possible. That, and after the many, many different timelines with many different possibilities with no sign of change, it was just written off in Akira’s mind.

However, he was clearly been proven wrong. First Reaper (which he still wasn’t over, because how the hell do you recruit _Reaper?_ ) and now Fenrir? Something had clearly changed.

“I’m unclear of that, actually. He just appeared rather recently, but how I acquired him is unknown.”

Akira hummed slightly. He had never seen this type of shadow anywhere, nor has he ever gotten them before, but Goro’s ability to make persona’s through emotions was rather unique…..but somehow this one felt different. This one did not feel like Robin Hood or Loki, it felt familiar, in a way. Maybe….

“You might have gotten him through a Confidant.”

Goro tilted his head. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, Confidants are people who you can gain persona’s from. They all have Arcanas and generally just, helping them through their problems or hanging out with them will help you gain different types of personas. Like, let’s say….Ryuji is the Chariot. When I spend time with him, not only do I gain his friendship, I get personas of the Chariot Arcana. White Rider, Kin-Ki, Cerberus, Chi You….I get them all from him. And if you didn’t get Fenrir through a shadow or fusion or awakening him like your other two, you must have gotten him through a Confidant. Not sure who, though.”

“A confidant….” Goro repeated, observing Fenrir intently, who remained still and silent. Akira could practically hear the gears working in his head. “You simply gain personas by speaking with people?”

“It has to be authentic, Akechi. You have to actually mean what you say when you're with them.”

“And you do?” Goro asked coldly.

“Yes, I do.”

Goro stared at him for a moment, before humming and turning his attention back to Fenrir. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

“You can tell which one they belong to by their Acrana.”

“Do I give you personas as well?” Goro asked. “Is that why you spend so much time with me?”

“I got them the first time, Crow. I don’t know why it’s so hard to believe I actually like to spend time with you,” Akira sighed. “And yes, you’re the Justice Arcana.”

Goro scoffed. “You’re kidding, surely. The lying, manipulative _assassin_ is your representation of justice”

“Hey, I don’t pick and choose who gets what! Fate clearly has a cruel sense of humor. But it makes sense, you do have a strong sense of justice, even if it’s exclusive to you.”

Goro shot him a glare.

“I assume you have one as well?”

“I’m the Fool.”

“Of course you would be the Fool. It fits you.”

“Hey! Rude!”

“You are right, fate is hilarious.”

Akira rolled his eyes in an overexaggerated fashion, ignoring Goro’s unnecessarily mean comments. He stepped forward towards Fenrir, catching the wolf’s attention. The sudden urge to pet him was overwhelming.

He shouldn’t. He really, really shouldn’t. He would probably lose his hand at least if he even tried. It was a terrible, awful, completely stupid idea.

 _However,_ Fenrir looked really, really soft.

Akira reached forward before he could even stop himself, touching Fenrir's side with cation. He ran his fingers through the black fur slowly, causing the wolf to jump slightly, but Akira wasn’t ripped to shreds yet so he’ll count this as a win. 

“He’s so soft….”

Goro, on the other hand, looked like he just might do that first, with a furious sneer. “Do not-!”

Suddenly, Fenrir fell sideways, collapsing straight onto Akira’s much smaller frame and completely knocking the wind out of him. Akira found himself on the floor of the safe room with a mass of fur on top of him. 

“Wha-!”

Fenrir wiggled excitedly on top of the teen, moving his head in Akira’s own and met him with enthusiastic, albeit slobbery, licks. His tail smacked against the floor, causing the chains to rattle with it. The sudden change in his behavior from a large, terrifying beast to happy puppy was alarming but hey, a dog is a dog.

Akira laughed, continuing to try and pet the gigantic wolf pinning him to the ground with it’s body. This only seemed to encourage the persona, leaning into the pets and scratches happily as he slowly but surely crushed Akira’s poor ribcage. Goro only stared at them silently, red faced and unable to say anything.

“Aw!” Akira cooed through giggles. “Such a good boy!”

 _“That beast is not a good boy!”_ Odin yelled from the back of Akira's mind. _“He is the bringer of destruction! The consumer of the sun! He is prophesied to be my death at Ragnarok!”_

Akira paid no mind to Odin's warnings, continuing to pet Fenrir who seemed more than happy to receive the attention. Goro was still staring at them stunned, his face had turned three shades redder than it was before.

“You’re a good boy, aren’t you? Who’s gonna help bring the apocalypse? You will!”

“Akira, stop,” Goro choked out after a while. “This is humiliating.”

Akira snickered, propping his head up with one hand and continuing to pet Fenrir with the other.

“Maybe you should play with him more. He’s a high energy breed, clearly.”

He only received a groan in response, which caused the smirk on his face to grow.

 _“I cannot understand why that nightmarish being has taken such a liking to you,”_ Odin grumbled. _“Loki’s monstrous brood are far from friendly.”_

Akira froze, his face going pale.

“Loki’s _what?”_

Goro tensed at his words, suddenly avoiding eye contact with Akira. Fenrir barked in an attempt to encourage the dark haired teen to keep petting him.

“Goro Akechi,” Akira said carefully. “Is Fenrir Loki’s child?”

“......plenty of gods have many different offspring.”

“Oh, my _god!”_

“Oh fuck off! This is no different from Zeus’s many ventures!”

“Zeus may be a raging slut, but I’m not letting the fact that _your_ persona’s son is a god damn wolf!”

“It is not my fault you are not educated in norse mythology!” Goro huffed, crossing his arms. “Medusa gave birth to a pegasus for god’s sake, and yet everyone wants to talk about Loki’s children being a snake or a wolf-”

“A snake?!” Akira said through laughter. “Holy shit, how many other children are there? Are all of them going to bring Ragnarok?”

“......there’s six. And Hel is only the queen of the underworld-”

“Oh, she’s _only_ the queen of the underworld, sorry.”

Goro huffed, rubbing his face with his ungloved hand. 

“Why is Loki’s offspring any sort of interest to you?”

“I mean, besides the weirdness of having a wolf and snake as your kids?” Akira said as he managed to pull his legs out from under the gigantic wolf. “I guess it’s the thought that Loki fucks. Damn, I’m lucky that Futaba doesn’t remember that bet because otherwise I’d have owed her money.”

Goro glared at him. “You made a bet?”

“It was a joke, mostly.”

The detective didn’t seem convinced, only seeming more annoyed as Fenrir attempted to lick Akira even more.

“Seriously though, Fenrir is pretty cool. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a destructive force wrapped up in such a cute ball of fur.”

“Don’t patronize him.”

Fenrir licked at Akira’s face once more, completely undermining Goro’s words in possibly the most adorable fashion. He chuckled, his arms still hung around the wolf’s neck lazily as he attempted to avoid the slobber from his mouth.

Goro’s face softened for a moment, Akira saw from the corner of his eye. The annoyance faded and was replaced with something Akira couldn’t read. He watched the two of them intently, observing them silently. There was something kind about his expression, but not in the false princely way. No, it was something genuine and warm Akira has never seemed before. It was something new. It caught him off guard. 

“What is it?” Akira asked.

Goro blinked, his face returning back to the unhappy frown he knew so well.

“It’s nothing.”

* * *

“You’ve been hanging around Akechi a lot lately,” Morgana commented in the middle of a dinner with the rest of the thieves. Well, there was no Haru, Sumire or Futaba yet, but they didn’t know that. 

“Akechi?” Makoto said. “Goro Akechi?”

“Yeah, they’re like childhood friends or somethin’,” Ryuji said as he took a bite of his own burger. “Not sure why you’d be friends with that prick though.”

Akira paid no mind to Ryuji’s comment. It’s not the first time he would say something like that, and it wouldn’t be the last. It was starting to get annoying though.

“Don’t you think that’s dangerous? Being close to a detective when we’re….you know?” Makoto said. “What if he gets suspicious of you?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him for months!” Morgana exclaimed loudly. “He doesn’t listen to me, he just keeps disappearing to where he goes with Akechi.”

“You don’t even bring Morgana with you?” Ann said with her eyebrows raised.

So that’s what Morgana was trying to do, get him to listen by talking about it with others? How unfair.

Akira shrugged as nonchalantly as he could muster, settling himself in stealing a fry off of Makoto’s plate. He knew they would try to confront him about this eventually, but he was just going to do what he was best at. Deflecting.

“Do I need to bring you everywhere?” He said, petting the (not) cat causally. Morgana pouted, shaking off his hand with a huff.

“It’s weird! You always take me to hang out with everyone else!”

“I’m allowed to have privacy every once in a while. I love you Mona, but we spend nearly twenty-four hours a day with each other. An hour apart won’t kill us”

“Still, do you not feel as if it would be better if you kept a distance between you and him?” Yusuke offered. “His position on the Phantom Thieves case puts you at a high risk of being caught. I do not feel it is worth the risk to remain so close to the detective.”

Akira rubbed the side of his face, shoving away the paranoid whispers in the back of his head telling him that they caught him, they found out. He knew they hold distrust for the detective, and they’re just concerned.

“I gotta agree with Yusuke, what if you slip up or he starts following you or something?” Ann said. “You don’t have to drop him as a friend or anything, just start to distance yourself, you know?”

It came off far more dictating than she probably intended it to, but Akira paid no mind to it still.

“Don’t you think that would cause him to be more suspicious of me though?” He said as he took another fry. “Like, if I start pulling away now with no explanation right as the Phantom Thieves gain momentum, and right after he was put on the case, don’t you think he’d immediately get suspicious of me?”

They didn’t have an answer for that, so Akira continued.

“Trust me when I say there’s literally nothing in the world that’s going to exonerate me from suspicion in his mind, but the closer I am to him, the more he’s gonna believe that I’m not a criminal, cause what Phantom Thief get’s close to the detective on his case?”

“You’re reaching dangerously close to fanfic terrority,” Ann said. He ignored the comment.

“Look, I know Akechi better than any of you. He's a good guy-” Ha! “And I trust him-” HA! “And I’ve got this under control.” If only.

The rest of the thieves still didn’t look convinced, staring him down with concern that really wasn’t needed. They were always so prescient about things that weren’t as important as they made it out to be. He could handle it. ~~_Where was this concern back in December?_ ~~

“But why don’t you bring Morgana around?” Ann said. “You know, just in case.”

“Just in case what? He ambushes me with questions about literature or a surprise game of chess? Maybe he’ll invite me out for drinks….how horrible!”

“We’re trying to be serious, Akira,” Makoto said with a sigh.

“So am I! I get the concern, honestly, but I’m asking you to trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

There it was, the argument killer of ‘trust’. It’s not something he deserved from them _from anyone_ but it’s not as though they knew that. It’s not like he trusted them to know his secrets, he barely trusted Goro to know his secrets ~~_barely trusted himself_~~ _._ They trust him, even if they shouldn’t. They would try and bother him about it for a while, and October is going to be a blow but they would drop it, because they trusted him.

“Fine,” Ryuji groaned. “I don’t trust the guy, but I can kinda understand what ya mean. Keep friends close and enemies closer, right?”

Akira bit back the words that said Goro Akechi wasn’t their enemy, that it wasn’t an us vs. him situation, but he didn’t. There was no point in doing so.

The rest of the thieves shrugged, giving different reluctant agreements with Ryuji. 

Akira forced a small smile. He should probably feel guilty about his blatant lies to his closest friends. He certainly used to feel nothing but guilty.

He didn’t feel it so much anymore.

* * *

Akira gave him a warning about the next member of the thieves, a hacker by the name of “Alibaba” would more than likely be joining them, thus ending most of their meaningful text conversations.

“I know we delete all of our texts normally,” Akira had said in the middle of a run. Goro shouldn’t be surprised that he could easily keep up with him, but still seeing the effortlessness the leader of the Phantom Thieves shown with every step made him both impressed and furious. “But you should really do a deep clean soon. Once Oracle joins us, she’s gonna bug my phone soon, and eventually she’s going to bug yours once she gets the chance. My location is going to be tracked, so we’ll have to start turning them off when we hang out together too.”

“Why would you let her bug your phone if you know she’s going to do it?” Goro said through pants, fixing the small ponytail he put his hair in. 

“She’s got super bad anxiety and depression. It’s her way of checking up on me and resauring herself.”

She’s an anxious, needy little girl with computer skills? Fantastic.

“That’s not an answer.”

“That’s just how it needs to go.”

Somehow that was even less satisfying than his desire to please yet another one of his friends. It was only more frustrating. 

“I’ll make sure there’s nothing indicating the true nature of our relationship,” Goro stated flatly. The words sound far more intimate than they are. He’s lucky that no one heard their conversation, otherwise that could lead to some kind of scandal.

“We can still text and stuff,” Akira reassured, as if that helped in the least bit. “We just can’t talk about anything we aren’t supposed to.”

‘Don’t be yourself’, in layman's terms. He doesn’t need to be told.

“Fine. Just don’t be the one to tip her off.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Akira said with a wink and smirk. Goro looked away from the beaming face of his partner, suddenly feeling the heat of July burn at the back of his neck. He wiped the sweat from his brow, missing whatever pointless subject Akira was talking about now.

Goro spent more and more of his time outside of work or without Akira in the Metaverse. He found it harder to be Goro Akechi, the Detective Prince with each passing day and the only thing keeping him from dropping the act entirely was his own desire for blood vengeance.

He much prefered to be Crow, the blood hungry beast of the Mementos.

Goro spent much of his time in the depths of the unconsciousness of humanity, destroying whatever shadows he came across and recruiting those that lived long enough to do so. He traveled throughout the tracks, mapping what he could, where the most dangerous shadows appeared, which ones gave out the most experience or the most yen, where the levels changed or where the chests appeared. 

Sometime during one of these ventures, he discovered something strange, somewhere within the deepest depths of the Mementos. He’ll find changes that don’t seem part of the world, stray particles of sand and intense heat near a stone wall that doesn’t fit with the rest of the tracks, or maybe a set of lavish door that he can’t open, with distant sounds of roulette wheels and slot machines, or maybe a bundle of azure flowers encasing an off color wall with an eerie silence surrounding the area, or maybe the smell of sea water with strange floorboards where the cold cement should be. These inconsistencies in the Mementos were few and far between, but they were extremely interesting, with strange masked shadows and changes in the air around the area.

It didn’t take a genius to understand they were parts of palaces that had managed to leak over into the Metaverse. The rulers of the palace or what the palaces were was undetermined, and as hard as he tried, he could not enter the palaces through the Mementos. Whether or not it was simply impossible, or just unimaginably difficult to enter the palaces through these leaks, he wasn’t sure. Goro didn’t have any way of entering at the moment, so he simply marked it on his mental map and moved on.

He spent most of his time perfecting his own abilities, recruiting and fusing new personas into something stronger. Hel, Apollo, Trumpeter, Jörmungandr, Notus, Maia, Tyr, Anbuis, Amon-Ra….Each only adding to his own destructive power. They were not as difficult to control like he had previously thought it would be, each of them working in tandem with one another without problems. Each had their own personalities, their own thoughts and feelings that made his own emotions difficult to control at times, but if there was one thing he was good at, it was keep up appearances. 

Goro wondered if this was how Akira felt all the time, but on a much larger scale. With so many personas, it must get rather hectic inside his own head. Perhaps that is why Akira was such an emotional person.

Akira never seemed much like an emotional person, at least to anyone else. Most never saw past the quiet, unassuming transfer student, or the flirtatious, confidant Joker, or the overly kind, stoic Akira that he presented most of the time. Not even his friends, his supposed closest confidants and teammates, ever saw past the facade he presented to them.

Akira’s emotions were as wild and varied as his many personas. Every mask held a new being and a new personality to match. His moods changed as quick as his persona did, something he hid well when with his teammates. 

Around them, he was Joker, the strong confident charismatic leader they flocked to like a beacon of light in a sea of darkness. He was what they needed to him to be, what they molded him to be in their minds. He showed them what they wanted to see, pretending to be the perfect reflection of themselves.

Maybe that's why they liked him so much, because they didn’t truly know him. They knew the version he presented to them.

Around Goro, he was Akira, a wound up bundle of thoughts and emotions that laid dormant behind his many masks. He was snarky, anxious, clever, passionate, lively, everything he pretended not to be. Akira was a being of chaos and emotion hidden behind a stoic persona, and Goro loved every second of it.

Perhaps he was getting too close. No, he was getting too close. But he couldn’t bring himself to care.

The mask he had built for Goro specifically was so poorly made and was easily to tear down after being made aware of it. It was simply a poor imitation of his real face, anyway. 

The personas from the Fool Arcana came to be much stronger than recruited shadow could ever be. They were nothing compared to Loki and Robin Hood still, but they held their own in battle.

“Very impressive, Trickster,” the false Igor said in the Velvet Room after another successful fusion. “May they guide you well on your journey towards rebirth.”

Goro wanted to puke every time the thing spoke. The delusional fake god that took the place of Igor was nothing short of sickening, parading around the Velvet Room like it belonged here. The Twins were none the wiser to the imposter sitting in their master’s seat. What poor excuses for the guides of the Trickster.

His own Velvet Room took the form of the lavish blue theater, with an elegant stage and gorgeous, gold lined curtains. The ceiling reached up above, only illuminated by the glimmering chandelier that hung over the soft velvet seats. The walls were made of a cool wood, painted with slick black and dark blue symbols Goro couldn’t read. Every part of the theater looked extravagant and hand crafted, something that could easily be taken out of Phantom of the Opera.

His place was always on the massive stage, facing out towards the empty audience as the lead (and only) actor. The lights were always focused on him, always putting the pressure on him to perform. The only members of the audience were Caroline and Justine, dressed in small blue suits and matching actors masks, and “Igor”, who sat in the director's seat with a knowing, cocky smirk he always wore.

Jesus, how was he fooled by this obvious asshole for so many timelines?

“It’s _ok,”_ Caroline said. “It’s about time you learned how to do this!”

“Well, it would have been wonderful if someone had taught me, as they were supposed to,” Goro said with his signature plastic smile.

Caroline looked taken aback, and crossed her arms with a huff like a pouty child. Justine was unphased by his insult.

He had wondered if the false god had refused to teach him out of fear. Maybe he was afraid that Goro’s power would be enough to match it’s own, that he could turn against it and it simply did not want to take the risk. It would have much preferred that Goro was weakened so it could take the world over much more easily.

How foolish.

“You have been building bonds with others as well,” Justine said as she wrote on her clipboard. “Your bonds with the Fool are growing stronger by the day, and with it, your power.”

Goro could practically see the panic building in “Igor’s” mind, even if the thing hid it well. 

“The closer I get to my goal, the more I must prepare for whatever comes next.” _Such as a fight with god._ “Of course, I do what I must to catch the Phantom Thieves and eliminate them.”

“Of course,” The False God said. “I hope you do not disappoint.”

Goro didn’t respond, instead focusing his attention back on the new persona he now shared the stage with. The so-called god was trying to get a raise out of him, trying to get him to say _‘yes sir, anything to be loved and praised and to be treated like a god forsaken human being!’_

Oh please, he wasn’t that pathetic.

* * *

“So, nothing came out of Medjed,” Sae said over lunch. It was phrased as though it was a question, but her tone was flat.

“Indeed,” Goro said, fixing his glove for the fifteenth time. “It seems as though it was another hoax.”

“You don’t sound as disappointed as the rest of the police department,” Sae said, suspicion heavy in her voice. 

“Of course I’m not,” Goro said. “The methods that this supposed ‘Medjed’ were just as morally reprehensible as the Phantom Thieves’ methods, if not more so. These hackers were nothing more than criminals hiding behind a screen. It’s ironic, how they criticized the Phantom Thieves for their actions of self-proclaimed justice and yet claimed they were the only ones who could truly execute justice. It’s rather hypocritical, no?”

Sae narrowed her eyes.

“Are you defending the Phantom Thieves?”

“Oh, not at all!” Goro said with a cute, force chuckle. “I simply find Medjed’s proclamations are quite egotistical and hypocritical. It seemed as though they were simply attempting to scare the general public….perhaps a bored teenager with impressive hacking skills…..or they may have had their hearts changed, so they never released any sort of information as promised…..”

He leaned back in his chair, keeping on his plastic smile.

“Or, they were using the Phantom Thieves to their own gain.”

Sae’s eye widened, putting a hand under her chin. She looked so impressed by something so obvious.

“Blackmail? That would explain the lack of any sort of action from the group….however, what would they gain from using the Phantom Thieves?”

He was playing a dangerous game, but he simply couldn’t resist the urge to play just a little.

“Isn’t it obvious? They wanted someone to have a change of heart for some unknown reason.”

“But there was nothing on the news about any sort of calling card and any mention of another heist.”

“Perhaps it was kept under wraps, the person in question could have simply never announced it publicly.”

“The Phantom Thieves are always very public about their declarations.”

“There might have been a reason not to. Perhaps the person in question was a close comrade of the one of the group, or was a member of the group. Or perhaps it was someone that was extremely vulnerable and they didn’t want to put risk.”

Sae hummed. “Their change of hearts has always been those they deemed morally wrong.”

“Yes, however, there’s an argument to be made that the targets themselves don’t have to be morally reprehensible. We are still oblivious to their methods, so it’s possible that they can ‘change the hearts’ of someone on a smaller scale. We would have no estimate how many of their victims were changed on that scale if they never came forward, possibly relating to their change of hearts.”

Sae thought for a moment, staring at him with a tense gaze.

“How do you know this is the case? What sort of proof do you have?”

“Oh, none,” Goro said calmly. “I’m simply speculating, that’s all. I’ve been wondering a lot about theory in particular lately, so I thought a friendly debate would be stimulating for the both of us.”

Sae scoffed, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

“So this was just to aggravate me? I shouldn’t be surprised,” she muttered out. Goro gave her a cheeky smile, causing her frown to grow. “Do you ever get tired of playing the heroic detective? Because I can tell you it’s quite annoying.”

“I do, actually,” Goro admitted casually, poking the leftover food on his plate with his fork absentmindedly. “It’s extremely exhausting, and every second I’m mentally restraining myself from having a mental breakdown and going on a self destructive, spite fueled rampage.”

He smiled as though nothing was wrong, as though he wasn’t spilling a dark secret of his. Sae looked silently stunned as he continued.

“Every second for the past two years everything I have written, done, or spoke has been a complete and utter lie. I don’t think I have told a single truth to anyone since I was fifteen. You would think it would be nice to be a teen idol but I spend the entirety of my day around people I despise and pretend that I don’t hate ninety-nine percent of the people in this god forsaken city.”

He sighed, leaning back in his chair. He spoke in the same soft, fake voice he used just moments ago.

“Don’t get me wrong, I do hate you but you are one of the more tolerable people in this city. Hypocritical, immature, and overly competitive but you’re intelligent, our conversations are stimulating, and I don’t want to pull my hair out when I speak with you, so I suppose that must count for something. You hate the false persona I put on just as much as I do, which I do appreciate but you are so single minded, unable to see past whatever impression you believe to be true. I don’t blame you for not being able to see past my own mask, most can’t, but it is rather irritating that you still choose to see what you want. So, while I do rather enjoy our talks, I hate you.”

Goro smiled softly.

“I cannot wait for the day I can drop the act and disappear, whether that be when I die or when I simply give up on this life I’ve built. So, yes, I _am_ extremely tired of this version of myself.”

Sae looked shaken by his unexpected and harsh confession, staring at him wide eyed and open mouthed. Goro turned his focus back to his unfinished food. They sat in silence for a few minutes as Sae struggled to come up with a response.

“I….Akechi….” She forced out after a while. “Are you alright….?”

Goro scoffed. “Are you actually asking that?”

Sae winced at his comment. “You have a point. I’m….I’m sorry you have to go through all that.”

Well, that was unexpected. 

“I was under the impression that despised my presence.”

“I…..will admit I disliked you, I didn’t know what you were going through-”

“You don’t know the half of it, Niijima,” Goro said with an ice cold tone.

“You’re right, I don’t,” Sae said. “You can tell me.”

Goro laughed at that. “When did you get a sense of humor?”

“Ok, maybe you have a reason you can’t or won’t tell me,” Sae nodded with a tense sigh. “You’re entire personality-”

“-is a lie,” he finished for her. “It’s not that hard of concept to grasp.”

“Why?” She said. “Why tell me if you’ve built this lie for nearly two years now?”

Straight to the interrogation. Nothing can throw off the great Sae Niijima from getting the answers she wants.

“I don’t know,” Goro admitted, because honestly, he didn’t know. “I assume it’s because of the fact that you really won’t do anything if you do know, or the fact that I’m so damn close to liberation and I simply wish to speak with someone without lying through my teeth. Maybe I want something from you, or maybe I don’t. Does it particularly matter?”

“Normally, when people tell someone that they have been lying for the past two years, they have some sort of personal revolution or reason for saying such things.”

“Normally yes,” Goro said. “But no, nothing has changed. No personal revolution reached, no major life event, I’m just tired.”

Sae nodded silently, furrowing her brow as she thought. She was never good at hiding when she was analyzing someone.

“Regardless, it’s not like it matters,” Goro said, returning back to his ‘Princely’ voice. “I have my own plan for the future and nothing you say or do will change that, so don’t bother. I doubt anyone would believe you if you told them, either, but I think you know that.”

“I….see,” Sae said quietly. They fall back into silence for a few minutes, both picking at their food but never quite eating it.

“I still watch the Neo Featherman series,” She blurted out suddenly.

“.....what?” 

“I have always enjoyed the series, ever since I was a child,” Sae said. “I’ve seen each of the movies as of now. I have figurines in my room somewhere, but I’m too nervous that Makoto might see them.”

Goro stared at her in disbelief. What in god's name was she talking about?

“.....is this some way of trying to even out the playing field? A trade of secrets?” He said plainly. “If so, it’s a sorry excuse for one. Somehow you managed to equate faking the past two years of someone’s life to watching a children’s show”

“I know,” Sae nodded. “But a weak attempt is better than no attempt.”

“I’d have to disagree, it feels more than anything condescending.”

“I’m not sure what you expected me to say, Akechi. It’s not fair that you simply dropped that on me out of nowhere.”

“Life isn’t fair, Ms. Niijima, you and I know this.”

“I do,” Sae sighed again. “I don’t like being in people’s debt, though….and I can’t just leave you like this…”

“You can, you are just holding yourself to the weak moral standing that you should help those younger with you. I’ll pass.”

Sae bit back an annoyed sigh. Goro didn’t particularly care what she thought, but if she hated the cute, sweet Goro Akechi nor the actual, cruel Goro Akechi, she was going to be severely disappointed.

“Look, you’re clearly not going to listen to me regardless of what I say-”

“Correct.”

“-but, you’re still a kid-”

“And yet I’m still treated like an adult by a majority of society. You really need to pick which one to believe.”

“-And I’m not just going to leave some kid in a shitty situation-”

“One you know nothing about.”

“-So, I’m just going to leave the door open,” Sae said, staring him down. “If you…..if you ever need help for….well, if you just need help, you can call me.”

Goro scoffed at her offer. Was she truly attempting to play the older mentor role _now?_ Oh please. He wasn’t looking for false sympathy.

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Goro said, “But, if it makes you feel better, fine, I’ll keep your generous pity in mind.”

“It’s not pity,” she stated plainly. “It’s common decency.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes,” Sae said earnestly. “I don’t hate you, Akechi, no matter what you may think.”

Goro met her intense gaze with his own. Really, she should know better than this. He was not going to accept any sort of handouts from her. What the hell was she trying to gain from this? If this was her way of making him feel better, it was a piss poor attempt. Or maybe she was just trying to make herself feel better. Perhaps she gained reassurance from this, comforted by the fact that she at least tried to help the poor lost eighteen year old, and that there was nothing she could do except extend a hand….. 

~~_‘Or maybe she actually cares about you, dumbass, because she’s a decent human being or just so content wallowing in your own self pity?’_ ~~

“Fine,” he said plainly, and that was the end of their conversation. The next time they spoke, he was back in character, as the kind and princely detective Goro Akechi, and she never mentioned their conversation afterwards. They returned back to their average routine, only this time with the knowledge of the truth, and the silent offer of an unwanted kindness hanging heavy in the air between them.

* * *

Somewhere along the line, Akira had begun to stay overnight at Goro’s place more often than not. He’s still not sure how he kept managing to convince Goro to let him stay “just a few hours” or “just for the night”, and yet he still kept finding himself with a thief sleeping on his couch at least one night out of the week. Usually, Akira took advantage of the exhaustion of their Metaverse trips and the close proximity of Goro’s apartment and once Akira was there, it was nearly impossible to get him to leave until morning. He would convince Goro to let him just cook dinner because “someone has to cook actual food in this house” or somehow they spend the rest of the day talking about the Mementos or what they were planning next or what was happening with the Phantom Thieves or how Goro’s work is going or debates over different subjects or Akira’s upcoming trip to Hawaii or-

Well, you get the idea.

Akira would insist on getting groceries because “no sane man can live off of preheated food” or he would buy take out and before Goro even knew what was happening the last train had already stopped running and Akira was asleep. He wasn’t sure why Akira had chosen to sleep over the apartment of the man that murdered him on more than one occasion, but he’s always been a strange person. 

So, Goro ended up with a sleeping person on the couch, guaranteed with dinner in the fridge and no doubt breakfast in the morning. His home had gone from only used for sleep and schoolwork to looking….lived in, the chess board Goro had bought on impulse one day, the clothes Akira had began to stash in different parts of his apartment, so he didn’t have to sleep in his day clothes, that stupid, raggedy plush cat that Akira had gifted him and refused to tell him where he got it from so he could return it, the snacks Akira had accumulated in the fridge over time, the blankets that hadn’t been touched in years suddenly scattered over the the couch he has maybe sat on twice since he moved them in….

It was strange, seeing Akira in the kitchen with a quiet smile making some cheap recipe he learned online five minutes ago, completely unaware of Goro’s stare from the doorway.

It felt domestic. It felt calm. It felt like something that Goro could never have.

He hated it.

“Don’t you have your own bed to get to?” Goro said during one of these nights. 

Akira didn’t even bother to look up from his phone. “If you consider a mattress on a stack of crates in an attic, then yeah. But it’s nice having a shower for once.”

“You don’t even have a bed?” Goro asked in disbelief. “When was the last time you’ve slept on an actual bed?”

Akira shut off his phone and stretched out, looking eerily similar to a cat.

“Probably the last time I went to prison,” he said casually, holding one of the throw pillows to his chest. Goro was half tempted to ask exactly when was the last he went to prison, but eventually decided it wasn’t not worth the effort. “The trains are down anyway. Electrical incident.”

“How do you-” Goro started, until he realized the futility of it. “You can get a hotel room.”

“I’m broke.”

“You are not.”

Akira hid the lower half of his face in the pillow, no doubt hiding a stupid cheeky smirk. 

“We’re getting close to November,” Goro said, shoving Akira’s feet off the couch so he could sit down. “Care to fill me in on what we’re doing?”

“Ah, ok,” Akira said as he sat up. “I’ve got three more palaces until he-who-must-not-be named-”

“You’re not funny.”

“Okumura, Yoshizawa, and Niijima.”

“Yoshizawa?” Goro inquired. “What could she possibly have a palace for?”

Goro had met the girl a few times. She wasn’t anything particularly noticeable, save for her controversial (and hilariously ironic) opinion on the Phantom Thieves and her dedication to her craft. She was talented, pretty, sweet, and ultimately boring. Goro didn’t so much as dislike her, as much as if Akira didn’t speak of her so often, he would have forgotten her. Still, there was nothing particularly vile or insulting involving her to variant a palace. 

Though, he of all people should know that having a palace does not equate to how “bad” a person is.

Akira grimaced a little, suddenly looking oddly tense. “She’s….it’s complicated.”

“Enlighten me.”

“So….Yoshizawa’s name is Sumire, not Kasumi like she believes. Kasumi was the name of her sister.”

She believes? Was she suffering from some sort of delusion?

“Was?”

“She….passed away in an accident. Sumire didn’t take it well and blamed herself.”

“I see,” Goro said. “So, she had some sort of mental breakdown and convinced herself that she was her sister?”

“Well, kind of….” Akira said sheepishly.

“Kind of?”

“It’s more than that,” he said. “So….I have this councilor at school-”

“Dr. Maruki?”

“Yes- wait, how do you know about my therapist?”

“He worked on the research of Actualization. He was almost one of my targets, but he was deemed not worth the trouble. I keep tabs on him regardless, just in case.”

Akira looked even more uncomfortable than before.

“.....good to know,” Akira said. “Well, he has a persona. He doesn’t realize he has one yet, but he has one regardless.”

Maruki has a persona? Was that even possible? Well, clearly it is but he’s simply never heard of an adult using a persona. He knew there might be a possibility, but he hasn’t exactly seen many personas users and all of them have been teenagers (plus one cat).

“There’s more persona users than you think,” Akira said. “Most just don’t know about the Mementos.”

“If they don’t know about the Mementos, how are they persona users?”

“I don’t know, maybe there are other ways….? I never really asked any of them,” Akira shrugged. “We’re getting off topic.”

He made a mental note to ask about that later.

“Fine. How does Dr. Maruki’s persona relate to Yoshizawa?”

“Well, Dr. Maruki is Sumire’s therapist too,” He said. “And remember how I said that certain personas have certain abilities…..”

It didn’t take long for it to click. “......ah.”

“Yeah,” Akira sighed. “Her shadow isn’t happy about that. And if we want to get her on our side, it’s better to do it now than try to fit it in in November.”

“Dr. Maruki’s ability is…..rather concerning.”

Akira let out a dry chuckle. “You have no fucking idea.”

The heaviness of his words implied something dark and bitter, poorly hidden anger and resentment.

“He’s not aware of it, so he doesn’t know how to control it.”

“Is this something we need to take care of?” Goro asked.

“I’ve got it,” Akira stated, even if it wasn’t convincing. “He just needs to be out of Tokyo on Christmas, which I just tell him about a possible job offer up north which usually works for a week so if I time it right, we won’t have to worry.”

“What happens if he’s around during Christmas?”

That was when the False God is supposed to die, though he’s not sure what Maruki had to do with it. If the man was unaware of the Metaverse, why was it a problem? Unless he becomes aware of the Metaverse that day, which could possibly cause problems if someone could practically brainwash them, even unintentionally, and from Akira’s reaction, he’s been through something similar.

“When….when the False God dies, there’s a brief, _very_ dangerous period where his power is essentially loose in the Metaverse,” Akira said carefully. “It’s a godhood that was built on the idealization of the public, he was essentially made out of society’s desire for control.”

“That’s idiotic.”

“Yep. But once the power no longer has an owner, it goes to the first figure idolized by the public.”

“That’s even more ridiculous.”

“So is the fact that our soul is personified as famous literature figures, but we don’t talk about that, now do we?”

“So, that power goes to Maruki once he becomes aware of the Metaverse?” Goro said. “That doesn’t make much sense. He’s not at all well known by the public, nor any sort of important political figures, so how could he gain such a power? Wouldn’t it make sense for the power to go to the Phantom Thieves instead?”

“I don’t know, in all honesty. Lavenza didn’t explain it super well, something about putting out faith in him that somehow led to him becoming god…..I really don’t know how it works in all honesty. It’s happened to a few others, but it’s mostly on the Phantom Thieves or Maruki, and if the Phantom Thieves don’t know about the ability, and Maruki doesn’t know about the Metaverse-”

“They cannot reach for the power itself if they don’t know about it,” Goro finished for him.

“Bingo,” Akira said with a tired sigh. “If I don’t reach for it, then it should disappear within a few days. Hopefully. Like I said, not one hundred percent sure what happens there.”

“You cannot guarantee that,” Goro said. “What is stopping godhood from simply going to someone?”

“If they don’t know about the power, they can’t reach for it.”

“That doesn’t mean it cannot be acquired, even on accident. How do you know that godhood won’t simply fall on someone else’s shoulders?”

“I don’t, ok?” Akira snapped. “I don’t. There’s almost no way to see how the power works! No way to observe it or see how it works! It’s a guessing game half the time and it’s ruined most of the timelines!”

He huffed, pulling the pillow closer to his chest.

“If it comes up, we’ll handle it. I’ve killed god plenty of times before and stolen plenty of hearts, one more won’t hurt. And that’s still _if_ it does happen. It’s more than likely not going to happen, so can we please just not try to make me paranoid more than I already am.”

Goro almost chose to argue with him, chose to tell him that he should be paranoid about this, it was a matter of life and death and the fucking universe was at stake, but Akira already knows that, doesn’t he? He knew exactly what was at stake, exactly what might happen if he lost, what would happen to them if he were to lose. He’s seen them die over and over again, fighting an uphill battle for a taste at happiness that was just out of his reach every time.

How cruel.

Neither of them wanted to die. Neither of them wanted to give up on what they built, no matter how futile or fragile it is. This life they had built together was something worth protecting, Goro reasoned.

Akira was exhausted, decades of work and planning he’s spent just trying to get those he cared about through the year alive. Goro was exhausted, his entire life spent on avenging a dead woman that never even wanted him to begin with. They were exhausted, tired of playing an unjust game by a false god that would end in their own destruction.

They were fated to exist in this cycle of death and tragedy until one gives up. The two Tricksters of fate, killing each other because of the thing they were supposed to rebel against, blinded by their own chaotic desires. Neither of them wanted the other dead, not truly, and yet fate had led them to their doom against their will countless times. What kind of world would allow that?

It wasn’t fair.

They didn’t deserve this.

The world was cruel.

They were children.

The world was unjust.

Akira is so close to him now, far closer than he’s been to anyone in years, closer than he thought he’d ever get in his life. They’re next to each other, barely a hair away on the small couch. Akira wasn’t looking at him, unfocused eyes staring off into space. Goro was staring again, as though he was trying to memorize every detail of his face. There was something oddly hypnotizing about him, something otherworldly and mesmerizing that always drew him in. Something about the dark, raven colored hair and the sharp gray eyes and the pale skin with faint bruises. There were never any scars, nothing permanent but Goro could still the echoes of erased battle, ghosts of memories on his arms and head and legs from killers and shadows alike. He wondered how many of them were because of him, how many nonexistent scars were from the barrel of his gun or the edges of his sword. A part of him feels disgusted by that, another part of him feels proud.

The glasses hide his face well. They made him look normal, less like a wild unruly criminal and more like a quiet, calm student, but anyone that gave so much as a second glance would see the truth. The bags under his eyes were heavy (how did no one ever notice?) and not even his mask could hide the exhaustion. When was the last time Akira had ever slept a full night? When was the last time either of them did? Goro can’t remember, and he’s sure Akira doesn’t, and neither of them can hide it from each other.

But his half lidded, ghostly eyes looked so nice illuminated in orange light from the desk lamp. The bruises looked so pretty against his pale skin, looking akin to watercolor paintings. The thin frame looked oddly lovely as he pulled his knees against his chest, gripping onto the pillow tightly with slender hands (he looked so small now, despite them being so close in size). His breathing is slow, meticulous, calm but subtly frightened like a small child nonetheless. Dark curls obscured the murky gray of his eyes as he let out a quiet sigh. 

He looked so beautiful.

He _was_ beautiful.

Goro wanted it.

Goro wanted _him._

Akira seemed to snap out of his own trance, eyes fully awake and looking up suddenly at the noise outside.

“It’s raining,” he stated plainly. Goro followed his gaze out the window, seeing water begin to tap against the window.

“It is,” Goro said. Akira is tense suddenly, unmoving.

“It’s not supposed to rain yet.”

Goro doesn’t need to ask what that means.

“I shouldn’t be here,” Akira muttered out. “This….this isn’t….” 

He trailed off, sitting eerily still. Goro understood. Paranoia wasn’t kind.

“It’s just rain, Akira,” Goro said, perhaps as a form of reassurance. Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it spelled the end for them in some way. Maybe all this was for nothing.

Maybe it was. Maybe it meant nothing.

“It’s just rain,” he said again. Akira doesn’t react to his words, unconvinced, or perhaps he just didn’t hear him.

Goro reached out hesitantly, and placed a gloved hand on his back. He was freezing, even through multiple layers of clothing, he felt cold.Akira jumped, like a frightened cat, and eyed him cautiously. When was the last time he was touched like this? When was the last time Goro even touched someone in a way that wasn’t one of violence? When was the last time Goro comforted someone one? ~~_he was five_ ~~ When was the last time Goro had wanted to comfort someone? When was the last time either of them was offered any kind of comfort?

The world was unfair.

Akira didn’t pull away, or say anything, which Goro supposed is a good sign. He seemed cautious, distrusting of his actions, but didn’t seem upset or angry. Goro didn’t pull away, letting Akira slowly relax into his touch _he was so damn cold._ The tension in Akira’s shoulders began to ease, letting his eyes flutter shut and actually leaning into Goro’s touch, no matter how unsure or hesitant it was. It lasted only a few minutes at most, even if it felt far longer. 

Goro pulled away after a while ~~_too long_~~ _._ Akira’s eye settled back onto Goro’s form, watching him silently. 

“It’s late,” Goro said quietly, nearly being drowned out by the rain against the window. “I won’t send you home in this weather.”

Akira hummed in acknowledgement, but remained silent otherwise. 

“You should sleep,” Goro said. Akira just nodded, leaning back on the couch without another word. 

They still have so much left, so much to accomplish before they could finally rest. They had done so much and it wasn’t enough, not yet. What else did they have to give? What else did they have left to give? 

The world was unjust, full of rotten and corrupt people. It was lonely, and cruel. Goro had wished for it’s demise more often than anyone should. He did not see what was worth saving in such a place. 

And yet, he found the life in his small apartment, with the faint smell of coffee and the discarded school bags on the floor and his only companion fast asleep on his couch, something he preferred much more than death. It was something separate from the world, something untouched and sacred. He wanted to protect it.

He wanted to save it.

* * *

Akira was late.

Goro wasn’t worried. Akira could handle himself, in and out of the Metaverse (he’s deadly in battle), and Goro shouldn’t worry himself over someone being ten minutes late to their meeting _(it was the same fucking time every day),_ so he wasn’t.

He wasn’t worried.

He wasn’t.

He was fine.

…….

He checked his phone again. Nothing still. 

Akira was careful still when it came to discussing their true plans (phones off, limited to the shopping market, his apartment, and the Jazz Jin, they only enter the Mementos around the market) and limiting any phone conversation to mundane, unimportant subjects. He was paranoid of the Sakura girl reading their conversations (why he let her bug his phone in the first place was beyond Goro), so their conversations had mostly consisted of pointless topics and invitations to go out to do even more pointless activities just so the thieves would be appeased in their belief that they were close friends and not partners planning to take down god. 

Goro sighed, letting himself mentally fall back into his Detective Prince mode as he typed something out in the group.

**[Goro]: Is everything alright?**

**[Goro]: I don’t mean to be a bother, but I would like to make sure that we’re still meeting today?**

**[Goro]: It’s perfectly fine if we aren’t! But I would like to know.**

One minute, two minutes, fives minutes, and still no response. God, he was going to kill Akira once he got here-

“Hi.”

Goro practically jumped out of his skin at the sound of Akira’s voice. He spun around, his face twisted into a snarl and ready to give the moron a piece of his mind.

“You-!”

“We’re being followed.” 

The words were enough to make him stop in his tracks. He didn’t dare risk a look around, keeping his eyes on Akira’s uneasy expression.

“.....is that so?”

“It’s not as bad as it sounds,” Akira grumbled, looking far more embarrassed than worried. “But we’re currently under the watch of a certain group of colorful characters that are rather distrusting of our relationship and decided it would be a fantastic idea to follow me from the Leblanc because one of them couldn’t listen to our conversations or track our location.”

“........I see,” Goro said slowly, forcing a plastic smile. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

Akira just sighed and tugged on his bangs sheepishly. Goro could see what was no doubt Niijima, Sakamoto, Yoshizawa, and the cat out of the corner of his eye. God, they were so fucking lucky that Akira was preventing him from outright slaughtering all of them. What kind of two faced, piss poor excuse of a friend would attempt to follow him without his knowledge? That was borderline stalking- actually, it _was_ stalking. Weren’t they supposed to be his closest allies, his most trusted comrades? 

“So, today is just going to be the two of us hanging out here, like normal teenagers who don’t know about a magical parallel dimension of shadow monsters.”

No Metaverse today. _Fantastic._ He was going to have spend the entire day walking around empty, cheap shopping mall and eating those stupid chocolates that Akira likes and ignoring the Phantom Thieves that thought they would find something by following them.

“Perhaps we should just leave then?” Goro offered. “I see no point in continuing this meeting if nothing can be gained.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Akira said. “It’d only seem suspicious if we canceled the day they followed us. Look, if we give them nothing today, they’ll think it’s just that we’re doing nothing. I say we give them what they wanted, a boring day following around two people in the mall.”

“That wouldn’t get them off our back entirely, it would just deter them momentarily and waste both of our days.”

Akira smirked, the excitement of a challenge in his eyes.“What? Think you can’t do it?”

Goro glared at him, recognizing the bait Akira was putting out for him, but he’ll be damned before he ever let Akira win.

“It’s not so much that I cannot do it, more that I’m worried that you will fold at the sight of your friends.”

Akira snorted. “You don’t need to worry about me, pretty boy, I’m good at acting.”

Goro paused for a moment, before smiling.

“Well, it’s a shame that we can’t go with our original plan,” Goro said in a fake sweet voice, turning and beginning to walk away as he spoke. “I was looking forward to introducing you to Virgil. Another time, I suppose.”

“Wait, Virgil?” Akira called from behind him, interest clearly peaked. Goro could feel his smile grow as Akira rushed to catch up. “Like the actual poet or the Dante's fanfic version? Akechi? I need to know!”

Their goal was to wait out the Phantom Thieves until they believed they were simply spending time together and they lost interest in their endeavors. Goro had expected them to speak of mundane subjects or simply fake their way through the forced interaction, however Goro found himself in a heated discussion over the authenticity of Dante’s Divine Comedy. Which was keeping him engaged, in a bizarre way.

“For the last time, it is not fanfiction!” 

“It is! It’s biblical crossover fanfiction! Dante literally put himself IN the work! He literally wrote a self insert fanfic!”

Goro rubbed the bridge of his nose. This conversation had been going around in circles for the past hour. Morgana had ‘hid’ behind the bench they were sitting on, probably bored out of his mind.

“It’s a classic piece of literature, and you're equating it to self indulgent slash fiction?”

“That’s an insult to actual good fanfics,” Akira said. “Ok, ignoring the biblic side, the guy wrote a whole ass story about him hanging out with his favorite famous poet, while simultaneously bashing the church and greek, who Dante hated, and _while_ hearing about how special he is in the eyes of god. _And_ he gets a beautiful girlfriend who wants to help him reach heaven and is so lovely and beautiful and godly and beautiful and pretty and also did I mention she was beautiful? Because Dante does about fifty times.”

Goro groaned, rubbing his forehead.

“Just because you dislike the Divine Comedy, doesn’t mean it’s fanfiction.”

“Oh no, I do like it. It’s a great story about the exploration of faith and humanity’s sins and redemption, and it’s very influential on a lot of future works,” Akira laughed. “However, no matter how amazing or influential it is, it’s _still_ fanfiction.”

Morgana, seeming to be tired of their (admittedly ridiculous) conversation, slinking out from behind the bench and returning to the rest of the group.

“He’s gone,” Goro said, letting himself relax a little. “You can stop now.”

“And furthermore- oh Mona left?” Akira said. “Oh, well alright then. Anyway, the fact that Virgil was a real person-”

“Akira, enough.”

Akira blinked, before sighing in an overdramatic fashion. 

“Fine, fine, not everyone can admit when they’re wrong.”

Goro didn’t bother falling for the obvious bait.

“Does Niijima really think she’s being inconspicuous behind that newspaper?” He said, watching her out of the corner of her eye. “It’s upside down, for god’s sake.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty terrible at that,” Akira said, leaning back on the bench. “I can’t say Sumi is much better though. The bright red hair is dead give away.”

“‘Sumi’?” Goro said. “That’s quite the affection little nickname you’ve given her.”

Akira pushed up his glasses, but it wasn’t enough to hide the light tint of pink that adorned his cheeks at being caught.

“Sorry, old habit,” he muttered.

“A habit?” Goro inquired, not even bothering to hide his enjoyment of the other teen’s sudden self-consciousness. “Oh, don’t tell me her perfect little doe eyes actually have you smitten, Akira?”

Oh, that’s rich. The idea of those two together was sickening sweet. Their idealistic projected personalities working so well together to create the perfect boring couple? It almost seemed like fate. Of course Akira would pick the prettiest, kindest, most talented girl out his entire pack of cowards, he had them all wrapped around his finger! He had his pick of any of them, _why not her?_ He shouldn’t be surprised, with the way she looks at him with those pretty little eyes-

“No! Since when did you care about my love life?” Akira said, crossing his arms. “She just has a little crush on me, that’s all. It’ll pass once all this over, anyway.”

“You speak from experience?”

Akira nodded sheepishly.

“It was only for like five, six months at most. We didn’t really love each other like we thought we did at first. It was adrenaline from the third semester, I guess. We mutually broke up not long after I went back to Inaba.”

So, it was nothing more than a brief fling? A rush of excitement that died out after the honeymoon phase? 

Of course it was. She was infatuated by the mysterious, charismatic Phantom Thief Joker, and he was infatuated by the gorgeous, talented good girl Violet. He’s already let the relationship run it’s course, lived it out in it’s entirety and knows her love for him is only temporary, no matter how strong.

“After you went back to Inaba?” Goro said. “I was under the impression that you reset once things go awry.”

“I do. The first timeline lasted uh…..two-ish years? Way longer than any of the other ones,” 

It was the first timeline, full of mistakes and regret, the one he actively avoided talking about, ~~_the one where Goro sacrificed himself twice._ ~~ He’s lived through centuries, and yet has never been older than nineteen.

“It doesn’t matter now,” Akira said with a sigh. “Relationships with my….ability and goals are a bad mix. Trust me, I learned that the hard way.”

If he broke up with Yoshizawa, how could he have ‘learned the hard way’? Unless….

“You had _another_ partner?”

Akira seemed to grow more flustered, playing with his bangs more anxiously.

“Why are you so interested in my love life?!” He said with a huff. It was rare to see him so self-conscious, and Goro was loving every second of it. Despite his flirtatious nature, he was rather shy when truly confronted “Yes, ok? I did date someone else for a while! Why does it matter?”

“I’m curious,” Goro said unabashedly. “Who?”

“I’m not telling you!”

“Why not? Are you embarrassed, Akira?”

“Because it’s none of your business!” He said, his face practically overtaken with a new shade of pink. “I don’t ask you about your past relationships!”

“Easy, I’ve never been in a relationship,” Goro said. “Now you tell me about this other partner.”

“Why do you care?!”

Goro wasn’t sure why he cared, actually, but his innate curiosity and desire to know exactly why Akira was so embarrassed of this. He may have to play this differently, however, seeing as Akira was actively avoiding the question.

“What happened to the ‘honesty’ part of our agreement?” Goro said. “‘The last thing you wanted was distrust between us’ was what you said, yes?”

“Oh, fuck off! It’s not the same!”

“I would like to know your biases, who exactly you feel like you ‘owe’ due to your past or your emotions. I would rather not be blindsided if you chose to give up everything for some fling.”

“.......I hate you.”

Goro smiled at him cheekily. Akira glared at him, because he knew Goro was technically right, even if he was doing this out of a cruel sense of fascination.

Was it someone within his group of criminals? Perhaps Takamaki? She seemed far more interested in her ‘best friend’ than Akira, but it wasn’t impossible. Niijima? The idea of someone so rigid playing house with someone like Akira was almost comedic, though he could fully imagine their little love story playing out and ending in some sort of shakespearean tragedy where she couldn’t even remember ‘the love they shared’, leaving Akira with the only memories….god, could it get anymore cliche?

To be fair, this was a scenario he was simply building up in his head.

Akira didn’t say anything for a long time, avoiding eye contact with Goro. His eyes were most obscured by his hair and glasses, only showing the rose colored cheeks.

“.....Yusuke,” He said quietly after a long time.

“What?”

“It was Yusuke. It….took me a few years to realize how bad of an idea it was to try and date someone when it was all going to be reset in the end.”

…..Kitagawa? _Fox?_ That’s…..well….hm…..

~~_Goro didn’t even know he liked boys_ ~~

That does explain his odd defensiveness of the artist, why Akira seemed so insistent that he was useful to the team outside of his ice abilities and skills, why he claimed that his dense and stupidly naive nature was kindness and earnestness, why Akira cared so damn much about him in the first place.

“I see,” was all he said. “You repeated the year on loop, thus your entire relationship would be erased….”

“Yeah,” Akira said quietly. “It wasn’t really fair to either of us. Once the year was up, we’d just start back from square one and it just….it hurt I guess. It was all new for him but for me….for me it wasn’t, and after the third time I just decided to not do it again. It’s just bad all the way around.”

Goro could only imagine what it was like. He’s never had so much as a friend, let alone a romantic partner. The idea of actually, truly being in love with someone and spending nearly three years with them, building memories and lives with them…..and then having to suppress it all. All of the memories and emotions and words said and late nights spent between them and everything that came with it and just….having to pretend nothing happened, because it didn’t, technically. The other person could no longer feel the special connection you once had with them. Instead, you are a stranger, they would not understand. To have to pretend that that love didn’t exist for the sake of someone else….

Goro could never be that selfless.

“I’m not biased, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Akira said. “I worked it out a while ago. I can’t be a good leader if I’m just trying to protect him over everyone else. “

Goro hummed in acknowledgement, curiosity satiated and yet somehow he still felt unsatisfied.

“Do you intend to pursue a relationship once the year is finished successfully?” He asked despite himself. “Assuming you still have feelings for him of course.”

“Of course I still-! I mean I don't….I’m not super focused on what I’m feeling about my ex, ok? It’s changed a lot, but that kinda stuff doesn’t just vanish, you know what I mean?” 

He doesn’t, actually.

“And I don’t know. Maybe?” Akira shifted uncomfortably. “Probably not. He doesn’t even know that we dated and I don’t wanna put any expectations on him like I did last time and I just….”

He trailed off.

“We should just focus on the rest of the year before we focus on what comes after.”

Goro didn’t do much more than nod. He understood why Akira would choose to not go after the same person over and over again, in a way. He may have been in love, or even still is in love with Yusuke, but he is nothing more than a stranger to him. Their ‘love’ doesn’t transcend timelines, and they both understood that. The fairy tale version of love persisting despite everything was very romantic, but it’s far from the truth of what it actually was like. Love was entirely foregin to him, sure, but he’s seen how many people turn against their so called loved ones under the right conditions. The idea of giving up everything for someone you care about was, to be frank, naive and unrealistic. It seemed as though Akira understood that as well.

“Anyway, it’s not like it matters much now,” Akira said after an uneasy silence. “My past relationships really don’t matter. We kind of have bigger things to worry about.”

He forced out a chuckle, and stood up. The embarrassment and the somberness seemed to have completely vanished- or more than likely, he was simply putting on another one of his false fronts. He was good at that. Goro didn’t bother to comment on it. There was no point in pushing the subject further.

“I’m kinda hungry. You wanna go get something and maybe try and throw off the Power Rangers over there?” Akira said, tilting his head towards the poorly hidden group of Phantom Thieves. 

Goro thought for a moment, before smiling.

“I have a better idea.”

“Man, this is boring!” Futaba groaned, half slumped against a wall. “They aren’t even doing anything! Just sitting there and shit!”

The rest of the thieves sighed. None of them had gotten anything in the past hour and half.

“Did you get anything interesting, Mona?” Makoto asked. “Anything about the Phantom Thieves?”

Morgana shook his head. “They just argued about fanfiction for _an hour!_ I couldn’t take it anymore!”

“I don’t think they’re doing anything,” Sumire said. “They’re just being friends and spending time together….there’s nothing really suspicious about that. Plus, I’ve met Akechi-senpai! He’s a really good guy.”

“A good guy, sure- He’s also trying to send us to jail!” Ryuji said. “Akira’s bein’ the suspicious one, really. He won’t take Mona with him half the time, keeps turnin’ his phone off so Futaba can’t track him, won’t tell us what he’s doing….don’t you think that’s a little weird?”

“Of course it’s weird but maybe….” Sumire trailed off. “Maybe he just needs some space?”

“What do you mean?” Yusuke asked.

She shifted uncomfortably. 

“Well….he said he knows Akechi-senpai from before….maybe he just misses his home and Akechi-senpai reminds him of that?” She said. “I know you guys don’t really know him, and I don’t know him that well either but…. Akira-senpai talks a lot more and seems really happy whenever Akechi-senpai is around. He’s usually so quiet around everyone else, but around Akechi-senpai he gets really talkative! His face lights up and it’s just-”

She paused for a moment.

“I’ve never seen him so happy, you know?”

The thieves exchanged sheepish looks, and all understood exactly what she was talking about.

“Maybe we shouldn’t be doing this….” Ann said. “They’re just hanging out. If Akechi said anything about the Phantom Thieves, Akira would tell us.”

“You’re right,” Yusuke said with a sigh. “Whether or not we trust Akechi, we should trust our leader to handle his relationship with him as he sees fit.”

The thieves nodded in a silent agreement. They were worried about him, sure, but maybe he just wanted to spend time with an old friend despite the danger. Maybe Akechi didn’t even suspect them. Maybe they should just focus on working on Okumura’s palace without Akira instead of stalking him like this. Maybe they were just-

“They’re gone!” Futaba said suddenly.

“What?!”

“They’re gone! They just vanished!”

They looked over at the now empty bench in a panic. The two were nowhere to be seen in the already empty court of the shopping mall. 

“Where did they go?!”

“Who was supposed to watch them?!”

“They must have left while we were distracted!”

The thieves looked around wildly, but it seemed as though the both of them vanished from the mall entirely.

“Oh crap!”

“What do we-”

A voice called from behind them.

“Oh, Yoshizawa! I didn’t expect to see you here!” 

The thieves spun around at the sound of an all too familiar voice. Behind them, stood the previously missing pair, Goro smiling at them brightly and Akira standing next to him, mentally preoccupied with the burger in his hand.

“Oh, and the rest of you are here as well! What are the odds!” Goro said with a light laugh. “It’s a lovely day out today, so I can see why you would be out and about like us.”

The thieves struggled to hide their panic from the detective unsuccessfully, but he didn’t let it show. 

Akira hummed a greeting through a mouth full of food, intimately turning his attention back to the burger in his hand.

“H-hi Akechi-senpai!” Sumire stuttered out. “I-I didn’t know y-you and Akira-senpai were here too!”

“Yes, it is quite the coincidence,” Goro said. “Akira and I come here rather often actually! Not many people come here, so we can spend time together without having to worry about being recognized.”

Sumire laughed nervously, taking a step back.

“Y-yes I can see that! I didn’t know you and Akira-senpai were such good friends!” Makoto said.

“Ah, is that so?” Goro said. 

“Y-yeah! I….um….”

“Abort mission abort mission!” Morgana said.

Goro glanced downard at him.

“Oh, Akira, your cat is here as well!”

Morgana wanted to scratch that stupid smile off his face, but Futaba scooped him up in her arms before he could. She laughed nervously, backing away with a squirming cat in her arms.

“Okwellitwasreallynicetoseeyouwehavetogobye!”

By the time she rushed out the last word, she had already bolted in the opposite direction. The rest of the thieves quickly gave their own hurried goodbyes and chased after the girl, leaving Goro and Akira standing by themselves in the shopping center. Goro watched as they disappeared out of sight, letting out a sigh and dropped the prince act once they did.

“Those idiots,” He grumbled.

Akira had broken out into a laughing fit the second they bolted, their conversations seeming to be completely forgotten by now.

“How did they ever survive without your leadership?” He said with a sigh. “You are the only one with half a brain cell in your merry band of idiots.”

“Oh come on, they’re not that bad!” Akira said through giggles. “They’re just….not good at stalking.”

Defensive of the group still, despite their clear lack of trust and respect for the leader, for their friend. They would fall apart without him, Akira had told him so. If there’s no Joker, there’s no Phantom Thieves. One person, and their entire dynamic falls apart. How pathetic.

“Oh I’m sure they do,” Goro said, rolling his eyes. ‘You deserve better than them’ nearly slipped off his lips, but he caught himself.

“They’re going to be your teammates too, soon, you know?”

It was more like ‘people forced together due to convenience’ rather than Goro willingly wanting to work with anyone, but sure, ‘teammates’. He doubted neither Sakura nor Okumura will want him around once they learn the truth, and they were one of the last people he wanted to be around either. They would only hold him back.

He didn’t particularly want to work with anyone except for Joker.

“You want to head out?” Akira said. “You know, to our original thing.”

“It’s pointless now. They’ve taken up too much of our time for us to be productive and going down now would just screw up my schedule even more. The trips take three hours at the very least each, and we really don’t have time for that.” 

“So….you still have a few hours to kill?” Akira asked with a cheeky grin.

Goro scowled. “We are not getting more food. The amount you eat in a single day _cannot_ be healthy.”

“Well, I was thinking more of a movie or something, but food sounds good too,” Akira said with a shrug. “Come on, I’ve got nothing to do, you’ve got nothing to do…..I can sneak us in some of the good candy, and it’s not like you have anything you need to do until four….”

He nudged Goro with his elbow playfully, who was five seconds away from beating that stupid smirk off his face. The theater always showed the same type of movie over and over, and he really did not want to risk being recognized in a crowd.

However…..he really didn’t have anything better to do at the moment.

“Why pay actual money when you have a TV in that shitty little attic of yours?” 

Akira shrugged. “Like you said, it’s pretty shitty, and Futaba has the place bugged, so it’s not like we can really hang out there without having to pretend.”

“If this is your way of asking to come over to my apartment again, I would prefer if you be more direct about it,” Goro said with a sigh. “You’re going to follow me home whether or not I tell you no, so you might as well.”

Akira smiled in triumph and laughed once more, and Goro could already feel his resolve faulting. How does one hold such power over someone with just a smile? When did Akira’s emotion begin to overrule his own? Does he hold such power over Akira as well? Is that why he always attempted to trigger some kind of reaction out of Goro?

To hold such power over someone without even trying…..

Goro wanted that as well.

* * *

“You fucking idiot!” Goro hissed in his ear as he practically dragged Akira into the safe room they had been lucky to come across in the depths of the Mementos. “Reckless god forsaken moron-!”

Akira wasn’t particularly paying attention to whatever Goro was yelling about, being far more focused on the puddle of blood that began to form on the floor that had trickled down from the bullet buried in his gut. In his defense, he really hadn’t thought there was more than one Reaper down the Mementos and after Goro had somehow recruited the first, he honest to god thought neither of them really needed to worry about having to fight another one.

Well, judging by the fresh bullet wound in his side, he was wrong. 

Goro had helped him over to the seat (well, he was practically shoved onto the bench but it was the closest he was going to get) and began rifling through the bag for what Akira could only assume were healing items, grumbling the whole time as Akira squinted under the fluorescent lights. Goro had discarded his own mask and gloves off to the side somewhere, probably for easier access.

He isn’t sure why Goro was so worried to begin with, Akira had lived through worse. Hell, he’s had worse in this timeline alone. It’s not like Akira hadn’t ever patched himself up after a fight with Reaper before, and yet Goro refused to let him just handle this on his own. They had plenty of healing items, even if they were both out of SP right then, but he always fussed over Akira and his injuries. He and Messiah would probably bond over calling Akira a reckless idiot.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Goro said, tossing the food Akira had stored in the bag aside. “You throwing yourself in front of the gun like that, are you trying to get yourself slaughtered?!”

“Why let Reaper kill me when you’re right here?” Akira slurred out with a lopsided smile, earning a smack on the side of the head. 

“Of course you pick now of all times to be a smartass,” Goro muttered, finally finding the tweezers and the bandages and slamming them on the table. “The bullet is still inside, we need to-”

“I know the routine by now,” Akira said as he pulled off the overcoat.. “Crow, I can do this on my own, you don’t need-”

“Pull up your damn shirt.”

Akira rolled his eyes, but obeyed, pulling up the edges of his now bloodstained shirt with a silent hiss of pain. Honestly, it didn’t look _that_ bad, save for the tear in his shirt, but that’ll fix itself. 

“At least take me out to dinner first.”

Goro shot him an annoyed glare, and kneeled down. “This is going to hurt.”

“Why do you sound like you're enjoying this?”

“Shut the fuck up and hold still.”

Akira sighed, but did as he was told. He bit back a groan as Goro began to work on getting a hold of the bullet. The blood had spilled onto his pants and shoes at this point, beginning to soak through. There was a trail in from the door to the metal bench they were both sat upon, leaving new stains of crimson across the floor. They weren’t permanent, probably. A change in cognition and everything will be forgotten, a flick of Yaldabaoth’s hand and everything vanishes.

Nothing ever felt permanent these days.

Pain shot through his stomach, nearly causing him to jolt but he forced himself to remain still. He groaned, his grip tightening on the seat.

“Akechi-!”

“It’s deeper than I thought,” Goro muttered. “Try to relax. It’ll make things easier.”

Relax? It’s kind of difficult when there’s a bullet buried in your stomach and someone trying to pull it out with fucking _tweezers_ but fine, sure, he’ll relax.

Akira focused his eyes upwards, stifling down the pained whines in the back of his throat. It’s best if he didn’t look. He tried to steady his breathing and ignore the slowly increasing numbness growing across his side. The smell of blood was starting to make him feel sick, and there wasn’t much he could do to distract himself. It was hard to focus on anything else in the barren white room that the safe room had taken the form of. The loss of blood was beginning to make his head spin, making it harder and harder to keep his eyes open. He couldn’t fall asleep now, Goro would never let him hear the end of it. 

Maybe it was better that he wasn’t the one doing this. Bullet wounds always give him trouble in comparison to most of them, but Goro didn’t seem to be having much trouble at all. With the Phantom Thieves there was always someone with a healing spell, always someone there to heal him if he ever got hurt. Alone he had to do everything himself. Even with an abundance of SP, Messiah or Cybele couldn’t always be the one to help her out. Bullets had to be taken out, and he only had his own hands. 

Akira kept forgetting that Goro was working with him rather than against him. Goro was _helping_ him, saving him from another agonizing few minutes of trying to fix himself up. If Goro wanted him dead, he was sure that he would have just left Akira to the mercy of the Reaper or whatever other shadows there was, or shot in the back of the head when his guard was down. But no, here the detective was, actively making sure he didn’t die. This was a rarity in any timeline that Goro would ever get so close, would ever want or need to help him to further his goals. During the Maruki incident, Goro had kept his distance. He was never this close to Akira.

Akira’s eyes end up back on the detective, who was far more focused on the hole in the other’s side. Every movement was taken with a caution that he didn’t even know Goro was capable of. His face was still, locked in a look of frustration and poorly hidden worry as his hand fiddled with the tweezers. The idea of Goro Akechi of all people being worried whether or not he’d live was baffling still, even if Goro did need him to win. 

Everything just felt strange around Goro. Nothing ever felt normal, like they were on another plane of existence whether it was just the two of them. Goro just understood him in ways that his other friends just couldn’t, even more so now that the truth was spoken freely between them. The two of them just felt different, like suddenly Akira’s strangeness wasn’t the only one. Maybe that’s why he liked being this timeline’s version of Goro so much, maybe he just made Akira feel a little less alone. Even with the mean comments and harsh glares, it was comforting to have someone that actually saw him for what he is.

Goro’s breath hitched suddenly. There was another sharp wave of pain before Goro leaned back, the instrument he had been using bloodied and a bullet between the metal.

“There,” he said, taking the bullet between his fingers. Akira let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in, watching Goro with tired eyes. He tossed the bullet to the side of the room absentmindedly, and went back to rummaging through the bag. “Too much trouble for a tiny piece of metal.”

Akira didn’t have the energy or willpower to respond, only watching Goro move silently. His face always looked so much harsher under the lights of the Mementos, there was more vilness and unrestrained cruelty in his looks. Even in the real world, he always seemed to be held back by something. But in the Metaverse, there was no filter or pretty words. There was just him.

“You have to act with caution, Joker,” Goro chided as he pulled out a rag and the alcohol. “We need you alive for this plan to work. I cannot have you die before the year is up. One misstep and-”

“I know what happens, Crow, I’ve lived it,” Akira interrupted. 

“Then why in god’s name do you keep throwing yourself in danger?” He hissed as he bent down once more. “I would personally rather not lose all of the progress we’ve made in the past year. Everything, everything will be for nothing if-”

 _“I know!”_ Akira said a little loudly, catching Goro off guard. “I know what happens! I pass out and wake up on that godforsaken train in April and no one remembers anything and you look at me like I’m a stranger. I get it! I’ve been through it!”

Akira wasn’t sure whether or not it was the loss of blood or the pure and utter exhaustion, but the words spilled out of his mouth like a river.

“I hate it! Nothing I do is permanent, not even dying sticks! I have to make sure you have nothing to lose otherwise I’ll lose my damn mind! I just keep building it back up and learning from my mistakes over and over but fuck, it’s hard. It’s even harder now that I actually have something to lose.”

Akira let his face fall into his hand with a groan.

“I don’t want to lose this. I’m scared to lose this. I’ve never- I’ve never actually had something I couldn’t just get back but I don’t think I can do this again. Every time I’ve ever tried something like this, every time I’ve told someone what I’ve done they always turn against me. You’re- you’re the only who….who actually _listened_ to me. You get it, you understand what I’m trying to say. Fuck, you actually try to understand, which is more than anyone’s ever done for me in-”

Akira’s voice cracked. Why was he saying all of this? Why wasn’t Goro stopping him? Why wasn’t he saying anything?

“I like this. I like doing this. I want to keep this. I get it, it’s sad or pathetic or whatever other rude bullshit you’re going to say, so you really don’t need to tell me. I already get it,” he said. “I know what I have to lose, ok? I know what’s at stake. You’re preaching to fucking choir.”

Goro remained silent for a long time, staring him down with an unreliable expression before letting out a sigh.

“Then don’t die on me.”

Akira didn’t do much more than nod. Goro pulled up the other’s shirt with his free hand, pausing for a moment before pressing the rag against the bleeding hole in his side. A strained whine escaped Akira’s throat as he fell forward, catching himself on Goro’s shoulder with one hand. His head spun as he shook. The detective put a hand on his chest to steady himself.

“Akira-”

“‘m fine,” he forced out. “Just hurts….”

Goro didn’t look convinced, hesitating for a moment before going back to cleaning the wound. Akira sucked in a sharp breath, and kept a hand on the other’s shoulder to keep himself upright, struggling to ignore the stinging from the wound. Goro moved with a gentleness Akira didn’t even know he was capable of, his eyes switching between watching Akira’s face and the task at hand. 

“Ok, done,” Goro said after a few minutes. He pulled the now bloodied rag away, tossing it half heartedly into the bag. “Still with me?”

Akira hummed, eyes closed and only about half conscious as he felt Goro move his hand from his chest to his shoulder, then slowly moved up to his cheek, the other still firmly placed on his hip. Akira opened his eyes halfway, meeting the other’s gaze. He’s oddly close, mere inches away from his so called rival. There was something soft in his expression, something strangely vulnerable and oddly hopeful and there’s a sudden spark in those crimson eyes’ of his-

There are lips against his before Akira even knew what was happening. The world seemed to fade away with the taste of vanilla and mint. His heart is pounding in his ears, drowning out any sort of rational thought screaming at him that _this was a terrible idea, what the fuck was he thinking,_ instead replacing it with a dizzying warmth he didn’t know he wanted. It was like a cord snapped, and all the built up tension seemed to vanish. Akira hummed and relaxed after a few moments, humming and leaning into the kiss.

This only seemed to spurr Goro on, moving his hand to the back of Akira’s head, intertwining his fingers in the other’s black curls. He pulled Akira closer, deepening the kiss. Goro leaned over the other, his knee pressed against Akira’s hip and his hand tightly gripping the other, no doubt leaving a bruise he would have to deal with later. Akira’s arms lazily wrapped his arms around Goro’s neck. He felt the grip on this hair tighten, as though Goro was trying to pull him closer even though whatever possible space that could be between them had been taken up with the detective’s presence. 

Akira felt quiet, stifled moans escape his throat. His head was beginning to spin and his vision grew spotty. His eyes fluttered shut, letting himself fall limp in some form of surrender to the warmth the older teen provided. The aching in his side had slowly succumbed to the growing numbness and the burning in his lungs becoming unimportant. His mind began to drift away, slipping between consciousness and unconsciousness. 

Goro pulled away suddenly, and Akira gasped involuntarily, his eyes still closed and only barely able to stay in the world of the waking. His arms were still weakly wrapped around Goro’s neck in some desperate attempt to keep the warmth he now needed. Goro pushed them off regardless, moving away from him while muttering curses under his breath. Something moved over to touch the wound in his stomach, pinch and sting that persisted despite the numbness. He groaned, forcing himself to open his eyes to see Goro bandaging up the wound as fast as he possibly could, standing once he was done. He stared at him for a brief moment, before taking Akira’s face in one hand, running a thumb over his cheek with that mysterious gentleness he was beginning to grow attached to. It couldn’t have been more than a few moments, but it felt like an eternity of just the two of them.

Goro pulled away suddenly, his face tinted pink. Akira almost found himself reaching out, but stopped himself before he could.

Goro interrupted the silence first. “Akira, I-” 

“I’s ok,” Akira choked out. “We….we’re ok.”

And that was enough for them. There were no more words exchanged between the two. It wasn’t needed. They understood what the other meant. It was enough.

* * *

Nothing changed, on a technical level.

Their mission was the same, their plan hadn’t changed, the exchanges and lies spoken weren’t altered at all.

But there were moments in their own reality. Stolen glances, brief touches, unspoken words. Nothing you would truly notice unless you looked deeper.

The Metaverse was different, taking refuge in the unknown palaces and the blink and you’ll miss it safe rooms Akira somehow knew by heart. The ghosts of touches turned into kisses and hands that held so tight that they left marks. The silence turned into whispers of promises and secrets that never reached anyone else. Little pet names and in jokes and everything Goro never thought he could have, this kind of love _(oh god, he was in love)_ he never thought he could have. 

The feelings were strange, a rush of adrenaline that became an addiction that he hadn’t felt since the time he won his first fight with a shadow nearly three years ago. He had chased that feeling ever since, with violence and bloodshed and chaos and anything, _anything_ to feel that alive again. Akira had the same effect on him, that sudden rush hitting him whenever he flashed Goro that cheeky smile, or when he does something flashy and unnecessary in battle just to show off, or when he takes any opportunity once Goro’s mask was off to steal a kiss. It was exhilarating, and Goro wanted _more._ He wanted the thrill, the cocky smirks and the taunts and the chase until he had the other caught, grab ahold of every little piece of Akira he can and drown in him, bruise his mouth and keep him pinned against the wall, consume every little one of his gasps and whimpers and tastes senses and indulge in _him._ He wanted nothing more than to hold Akira close and make him as weak as he made Goro.

But he doesn’t. Even Goro has some semblance of self restraint.

Even if Akira made it fucking difficult at times.

Akira liked to be touched- scratch that, he _loved_ being touched. He would attempt to touch his hands, hair, wrist, whatever part of Goro he could get away with, even if it was just for a moment. Akira would lean into anything Goro gave him, like a love starved kitten being pet for the first time. The nights in Goro’s apartment were the biggest evidence of this. Goro has never exactly been one for understanding relationships or love, but somehow even he found comfort in another’s body. Akira would pull him into a hug, or fall asleep on his shoulder or rest his head in the crook of his neck, and Goro found himself enjoying the needness of the younger teen. More often than not, the detective would wake up on the couch or his bed physically entwined with his sleeping partner on top of him. He truly never thought he’d ever be in such a domestic situation, let alone be allowed to enjoy it.

Goro doubted anyone would believe it unless they would see it for themselves, the plastic, formal Detective Prince and the quiet, standoffish criminal curled up in some sickening love display. But then again, both of them were quite good at being someone they truly weren’t.

The fear came with the new found thrill. Battles went from tense to terrifying, close calls becoming far too close for comfort. (Goro forced himself to learn more healing spells, just in case.) It became more and more apparent just how _scared_ Akira was, underneath the cool exterior. Little habits reflecting the truth. He was always alert, always watching everything that moved around him, always remaining aware. If Goro happened to move too fast in reality, or reach into his coat without warning, Akira would always become instantly tense and would watch him carefully.

Goro didn’t ask.

His neck especially was a sensitive spot, causing involuntary flinches and brief flashes of panic in his eyes. Needles were also a sore point, oddly enough. He was rather wary of the adults in general, the police moreso. Goro couldn’t blame him much for that. Akira was good at hiding how uncomfortable he was around Maruki, but it doesn’t take a genius detective to pick up the signs. He wondered how the supposed _therapist_ was worse at picking up on signals than Goro was.

Akira was equally good at hiding from the rest of the world as Goro was. He was rather talented at putting up a front so those around him were satisfied. The mask he put on was quite well made. It was near perfect.

It was rather refreshing to see it off, just as much as it was frightening.

“I have new orders from my boss today,” Goro said out of the blue one night. “I’ve been requested to do something rather unpleasant.”

“Yeah?” Akira said. “About Okumura?”

He nodded. “You know what I’m going to do next, correct? You’re simply going to let it happen?”

_‘I’m going to kill your friend’s father and frame it on you, and you are just going to let it happen.’_

Akira paused, his face uncharastically serious.

“I told you when we first started, some things have to happen no matter what. You have to do what you have to do, just like I do.”

“You do understand what will happen to the Phantom Thieves, yes? Are you not worried about Noir?”

“Goro,” Akira said. ~~_His name sounded so nice coming off his lips._ ~~ “I’ve tried. Trust me, as much as this goes against literally every sense of morals I have, it’s just a part of the process. There’s no saving him without screwing everything up.”

 _‘It’s you or him’_ goes unsaid. Shido would have his head if Okumura isn’t killed. That would ruin the plan.

“And the influration orders? Did you know they were coming too?”

“Yep,” Akira said. “Happened the first time too. You’re not only a double agent, but a triple agent. We just slip out during the less….pleasant parts of the order.”

‘Fake my death during the interrogation, escape through the Metaverse, and reconnect with the Phantom Thieves.’

Easier said than done, but Akira had done this too many times to count. He had to trust that he knew what he was doing.

“I just prefer the word traitor,” Goro stated coldy.

Akira didn’t react with anything other than a shrug. “Whatever you want.”

The conversation moved on to more mundane subjects, as though they hadn’t just spoke of blackmail, betrayal and murder. It was no longer important.

A week later, Goro puts a bullet between a shadow’s eye, and Kunikazu Okumura died on live television.

* * *

The culture festival goes smoothly, for Goro at least. The poorly hidden looks of disdain from the rest of the Phantom Thieves were prevalent as he stated his terms of their “deal” (it was more like blackmail, but phrasing was rather important). Akira was stone faced the entire discussion, a perfect actor playing the role of the hurt friend who must “stay strong for the rest of the team.” He was extremely convincing, and would have actually convinced Goro that he was upset had he not known.

Goro had already scouted Sae's palace by now, but he could feign ignorance well. Robin Hood played his part well, even if his “surprising amount of power” against the shadows was a bit alarming. They didn’t call him out on it, because that would only be counterproductive to their plan. Though, Sakamoto didn’t hesitate to make some rude or snarky comment about everything Goro did. 

At least he was honest in his hate for the detective like the rest. He could deal with the disgusted glares and little comments well enough, but he being lying if it wasn’t fucking irrating. Okumura looked like she was planning about gutting him every time he so much as spoke, not that he could blame her.

He’d want him dead too.

Yoshizawa kept looking at him with such pity and sadness that he wanted to vomit. Her signature kind naivety was trying him up a fucking wall at this point. He wasn’t sure what was worse; being surrounded by people that hated him but tried to hide it poorly, or people who pity him with such sad, sweet eyes.

Goro was stuck with both at the moment.

Akira kept his distance, which was no surprise. There was no way to pretend their relationship wasn’t anything more than it was if they spent more time than necessary together. It was fine. They both knew it was coming.

The palace was a casino, entirely rigged against the inhabitants much to the frustrations of the Phantom Thieves. He’s sure there was some symbolism behind this, some metaphors for the system being turned against you and glass ceilings and how she is persisting the same unfair game that had screwed her over….But he knew that already. He saw it all first hand.

Akira was much more restrained around the Phantom Thieves than he ever was around Goro. He kept his strongest personas hidden, even in the most dire situations, and the brutality of Akira’s battle skills were absent, unfortunately. It bothered Goro to no end, and it wasn’t as though they could see each other after their little field trips in the palace either. Goro neither of them could turn their phones off to see each other with Sakura getting suspicious, nor could they even so much as breathe without the goddamn cat up their ass. 

Goro was suddenly forced to deal with the thief’s absence once more. He could handle it, and it’s not as though Akira was gone, they were still working on the same team, but the artificial space between them was more than enough to leave Goro frustrated and wishing for them to simply complete the palace already. The thieves were certainly dragging their feet with the process, and even if he knew they would never get anywhere until the twentieth, he found himself wishing for it to come faster. He was growing irritated with the old life he was living, the interviews and the paranoid phone calls from Shido and the late nights in his apartment with cheap take out (he hadn’t realized how quiet it was until now). 

He didn’t even think it was possible to miss someone who stood meer feet away from him most days.

Two months of a relationship and he was already falling to pieces? How pathetic. Goro would have thought himself to be stronger than that. 

They did have a brief meeting down in the Mementos. Akira had told him about a “duel” they would often have early without any kind of outside interference, and Goro happily used that as an excuse to slip down there without the cat. 

Goro barely had time to breathe before Akira was practically on top of him, a big grin plastered across his face and arms wrapped tight around the other’s neck. The mask was pushed aside as the curly haired thief pulled him into a kiss. Goro let himself enjoy the first few moments, before he pushed the other off.

“Do you have no sense of self preservation?” Goro said. “What happens if the cat sees us? This is _your_ plan.”

“Mona won’t follow us,” Akira said, leaning towards Goro and winking. “So we’re all alone down here….”

“Have you no shame?” Goro hissed.

“It’s just a joke, god. Such a prude,” he said with a smirk. “Just want to get down to it, huh?”

“Get down to what?”

“The duel,” Akira stated plainly, flipping the dagger in his hand nonchalantly.

“You actually want to fight?” Goro said, raising an eyebrow. “What would that accomplish?”

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you aren’t curious,” Akira said. “You were the one that asked me here in the first place. Unless you wanted something else from me?”

Akira smiled, tilting his head. Goro scoffed, ignoring the heat rising in his cheeks.

“If you want a fight so badly, then _fine,”_ Goro said. “Don’t hold back on my account, though. If we are going to fight, I want to see you at full strength.”

“Minus Satanael and the fact we aren’t fighting to death,” Akira said. “Because we aren’t. I feel as though I should clarify that.”

Goro chuckled, letting the softer, white outfit fall away into the black, sharper outfit. 

“That would be counterproductive, even if I'm curious to see who would win.”

“It’d be me,” Akira stated plainly. 

“Is that so?”

“Yep.”

“Well,” Goro said with an amused smirk. “Prove it.”

The fight itself was a blur of chaos and colors and spells. The rush of adrenaline came with every persona summoned and every gun fired. Goro almost thought that Loki had cast Call of Chaos upon him with how unrelenting and brutal he was, and yet still he could barely land so much of a hit on his rival. Even with nearly a year of fighting by each other’s side and two more years of experience, Akira still somehow outmatched him in battle. The personas he kept hidden still couldn’t do much to catch the other off guard. The sheer speed of Raoul was enough to match Loki and strength enough to keep up with Robin Hood’s arrows. With every attack Goro sent, Akira countered with something equally strong, if not more so. It was never quite lethal, but it boarded there more than once. 

Goro could only wonder what it was like if Akira did want him dead. 

Akira would probably never do so, he was far too kind, too forgiving to ever want some kind of vengeance on him. Goro could kill him and he would be forgiven.

But the idea of fighting someone so strong to death was exciting, even he would admit.

It wasn’t as though Akira had an easy time though. No, Goro made sure that Akira barely had time to breathe between attacks. The battle wasn’t quite even, but the detective refused to give up until he felt Raoul’s claws against his throat.

“Told you,” Akira said, like a little kid proven right. “But I have to say, you’ve gotten a lot stronger. Kinda caught me off guard.”

He offered his hand out to Goro as Raoul vanished, who pushed it away. He stood fully, scowling. Loki seethed under his skin, hissing curses in his ear.

“Don’t try and give me your pity.”

“It’s not pity if it’s the truth! You could probably hold your own against the twins at this point,” Akira laughed. “I’m glad. It’s always nice to have some good power under your belt with what we’re up against.”

“Oh? And here I thought you knew everything about what’s coming next?” Goro asked. Akira grew tense for a brief moment, pulling on his hair.

“I do, it’s just-,” he paused. “It’s good to be prepared, you know? Just in case.”

“In case of what?” Goro pushed.

“Just….it’s not bad to have some extra firepower you know? It can’t hurt to be a bit overprepared.”

That didn’t answer his question.

“I know what’s happening next sure….” Akira continued. “But….things get kinda scary. Against the big guy isn’t _too_ bad, but before that….”

He fidgeted with his gloves, staring off in space.

“It gets scary. Really scary. I just want us to be ready.”

Goro hummed, letting Maia’s healing spell wash over them.

“You could just reset if things go wrong?”

“Well, yes but-” Akira’s breath hitched. “I don’t want to. I like this.”

He turned to Goro with a shaky but earnest smile.

“I like you.”

Goro was thankful for the helmet obscuring his face, enough to hide the pink across his cheeks.

“Enough with the pretty words, Joker,” Goro crossed his arms. “The cat is probably waiting for you. You should go before he comes looking for you.”

Akira looked almost sad for a moment. “Already? But I barely even got to see you!”

“You see me nearly every day.”

“Yeah but it’s not the same.”

He couldn’t really argue there.

“Just go before Morgana sees us.”

“Fiiiiinnnne,” Akira said in an over-exaggerated whine. “Are you coming?”

Goro looked away, trying to ignore Loki stirring painfully under his skin. 

“I need to take care of something.”

Akira tilted his head.

“Alone?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“I don’t need you to coddle me,” Goro said with an annoyed sigh. “I’ve been doing this for years, if you’ve forgotten. Five minutes in the Metaverse alone will be nothing.”

Akira looked as though he wanted to say something or protest, but eventually he just shrugged, no matter how uncomfortable he seemed.

“Ok, if you’re sure.”

“You don’t need to look so pitiful, I’ll be fine,” Goro rolled his eyes. “Unless you have such little faith in me to think I’d let myself die so easily.”

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

Goro scoffed. “Fine.”

Akira still hesitated, watching Goro intently before leaving for the real world once more. Goro waited a few minutes, waiting to see if Akira was truly gone. Once the silence truly settled, he let out a sigh.

“Alright, now what the fuck do you want?”

Loki’s claws gripped on his shoulders suddenly, chuckling in Goro’s ear.

_“The little thief was stronger than expected. He is quite a sight….”_

Goro sneered and shoved the beast off of him.

“What is so fucking important that you won’t shut up about?” Goro hissed, glaring down his persona. Loki wasn’t bothered by his master’s anger, lying on top of his floating sword casually.

_“He takes up much of your thoughts, nowadays. I can see why, such a mesmerizing creature does not seem like those other humans, and yet….”_

“Do you actually have something to say or are you going to keep singing his praises?”

Loki chuckled once more and pulled Goro’s hair like a childish bully. This did nothing to soothe his subtle fury.

 _“Do not mistake my words for simple adoration, little prince,”_ Loki purred. Him and his stupid fucking nicknames- _“I speak the truth. Your truth.”_

“Get to the point,” Goro hissed, taking a step away from the persona. Loki huffed, leaning back on his sword.

 _“So impatient, even to hear your own words,_ ” He said. _“This puppy love of yours is growing bothersome. You have to make a choice.”_

“A choice?” Goro crossed his arms. “What is that supposed to mean?”

 _“The discord he has created in your heart is beginning to become a problem. Well,”_ Loki paused. _“Less of a problem and more of an irritation. Regardless, it’s something you must deal with sooner rather than later.”_

“Discord? What exactly do you mean?”

 _“Do not play dumb, you know full well what I mean!”_ Loki hissed. _“Do you intend to keep repressing those thoughts for your own sake of ego? Your feelings for the thief are making you weak and you’re just letting it happen!”_

The beast leaned closer to him, and spoke with a low growl.

_“And I will not tolerate weakness.”_

Goro met his persona with an equally strong gaze.

“You think I’ve become weak?” Goro hissed. “Even with how much stronger I’ve become in the past year, you have the gall to call me _weak?”_

Loki scoffed, slipping off of the sword and standing on the Mementos’ floor.

 _“You’re becoming weak, little prince,”_ Loki said. _“You’ve let your emotions make you soft, which would be going back on our deal.”_

Goro eyed him carefully. “Are you telling me you’re becoming a shadow?”

 _“Not at all. At least not yet,”_ Loki began to circle his master. _“I am giving you a warning about your poor handling of your own emotions. This has nothing to do with Akira’s actions, or your physical strength, it’s about self-control.”_

“You’re lecturing _me_ on self-control?”

Loki let out a subtle, angry growl.

_“Your emotions are unique, prince. Your fury, your desires, your love….it’s deadly. You know this, you know what I am made of, and you know exactly how dangerous I am. You understand your own emotions were my catalyst, correct?”_

Of course he knew that. Goro didn’t need to be told this

_“Emotions can affect you one of two ways. It all depends on you and your choices. You can let it weaken you, let it control you and kill you and fuck you over….or you can make sure that no one can ever touch your little thief again.”_

Goro’s breath caught in his throat. Loki grinned with a cruel, fanged smile.

_“You love him. You are lonely, angry, frustrated and so in love it feels as though you're dying at times. You want nothing more to protect him more than anything, from Shido, from the False God, from the world. So do I.”_

Loki stopped in front of Goro, kneeling down to meet his gaze.

_“You are a weapon, little prince. Every part of you is a weapon. It’s what we are made for, that violences and destruction and bloodshed….it’s the destiny you’ve craved from your own flesh. You’ve chosen to become this, you’ve chosen this life. You had chosen to Akira the second you place your lips upon his, and you must make the choice to protect him, to not become weak and slaughter those who wish harm upon them.”_

Loki’s malicious grin grew wider and he placed a clawed hand under Goro’s chin. He leaned closer to his silent master, letting him see every jagged fang in the personas mouth.

 _“You’ve always turned yourself into a weapon, little prince. Your desires, your hate, it’s dangerous. You’re dangerous. Take the love that’s softening your heart,”_ The beast hissed in his ear. **_“And use it as the blade against your father’s throat.”_ **

* * *

The Phantom Thieves’ plan goes off without a hitch.

Which is, Akira is arrested and taken to the underground interrogation room to have god knows what happen to him. 

Goro was apprehensive about this plan to say the least. He knows exactly what goes on in those rooms, and had attempted to warn Akira that they would not treat him kindly, but as usual his concerns were brushed aside. He was still perplexed that not only did the Phantom Thieves come up with and approve of this insane idea, but that it actually ever succeeds. Akira insists it’s the plan is the most likely to work, despite the absolute idiocy and danger of it. So Goro waited.

And Sae sure was taking her fucking time.

There hadn’t been a single text from the thieves, not a single request for updates or help or anything, which wasn’t a surprise. They were convinced Goro didn’t know a single thing. But it would still seem rather suspicious if he was supposed to be part of “the team”. He wondered if the versions of himself ever made note of that, or if he was simply too caught up in his own head to notice. 

Either way, it didn’t matter much now. 

Goro met Sae in the hallway, who stopped him before he could even reach the room. He hid the frustration at her insistence to talk now of all time, and forced a look of concern. She handed him Akira’s phone and mentioned her concerns over the interrogation process, over the mental state of the “dangerous suspect” as he was talking about nonsense. He assured her that he would take care of it, pocketing the phone while dismissing her worries. She stared at him for a moment, before leaving without another word. 

Goro waited for a moment before turning back towards his own phone.

Still in reality. Good.

His request for “protection” from the guard outside the room was an unfortunate necessity, though he had much preferred to see Akira alone, but it didn’t matter. Another corpse wouldn’t make much difference in the long run. 

Goro had expected to see Akira in the interrogation room, had expected a few bruises or him to be in….less than ideal condition.

But he still had not expected to see Akira in such a state.

Akira was almost unrecognizable, face bruised and bloodied far more than it should never be. Whatever parts of his exposed skin weren’t covered in purple and blue splotches were stained with crusted over with dried blood. The mess of curls was matted in an array of black and red. His breathing was strained, slow and full of pain, more than likely from a broken rib or two. He lay slumped over on the table, half conscious and only barely able to keep his dull, glassy eyes even partially open. The side of his neck was covered in small, nearly undetectable marks from what he could only guess was the discarded needles on the floor.

A normal person’s first reaction would have been concern, panic, sadness, fear, but all Goro could feel in that moment was pure fury.

Goro has never been a stranger to rage. It’s always there, ever prevalent in the back of his mind, whenever Shido called him or when his associates opened their filthy mouths or when he thought about his sixth birthday. Anger kept him warm at night, anger was the few things that kept him going. But dear god he wasn’t sure the last time he felt that level of rage in that moment.

Goro moved before he could even register what was happening. There was a gun in his hand, the silencer had left his pocket and he’s aiming for the guard’s head. He could see the clear image in his head, of the man in front of him holding Akira down, of those hands being the cause of those horrid bruises, of them gripping his hair and forcing the needle into his skin, of them keeping him confused and scared in an attempt to force out something out him, or just get to some satisfaction out of beating the life out of the helpless teen.

And Goro wanted him to suffer.

He fired one shot into the guard’s neck. The wall is painted in red as the guard stumbled back, desperately clutching his throat as though it would do anything to stop the bleeding. Goro watched as the man choked to death on his own blood, frightened and confused and in doubt in agony. 

It’s not enough, not even close, but Goro would accept the small amount of satisfaction he got from watching the life drain from his eyes.

Goro turned back to look at Akira after a moment, and the rage was replaced with some form of shame upon seeing the other teen. He looked absolutely terrified, eyes wide and unfocused. His breaths had become unstable and panicked, and his body was visibly shaking at that point. Akira had curled in on himself as best as he could in the chair he was bound to in a feeble attempt to move as far away from the perceived threat as possible. 

He was scared. He was scared of him, the man with the gun and the one still had blood on his shoes.

This wasn’t the first time he’s been here. This wasn’t the first time Goro had killed the guard in front of him. Those times Akira hadn’t been lucky enough to survive those times.

Goro dropped the gun, letting it fall into the pool of blood as it was no longer important in his mind. He stepped forward, but hesitated when Akira flinched violently and let a quiet whimper. 

_Take it slow. He’s probably so drugged out of his mind he doesn’t even know what timeline he’s in._

“Akira….” He spoke with a softness he didn’t know he was capable of. “You’re alright. I’m not going to hurt you. It’s ok, Aki. Do you remember our deal?”

Akira didn’t respond, but his breathing began to steady. Goro sighed, and slowly stepped forward towards the table.

“We need to go. How bad is it?”

It felt like a stupid question, he could fucking see how bad it was, but the more he talked, the more relaxed Akira seemed to become.

Goro moved around the side of the table, and Akira lifted himself off the table as best he could, attempting to compose himself even if he looked moments away from death. The closer he got to the thief, the more he could see, the more cuts and gashes. His left leg in particular had a notice gash in the side. _Can’t run away._

Akira watched him with half lidded, exhausted eyes as Goro pulled out his phone, and hurried to dial Shido’s number. He looked so distant, as though he was only barely there and his mind was somewhere else. The only sign that Akira was even alive was the subtle, strained breathing and the raising and falling of his chest. How did Sae even get any information out of him? How did his so-called friends even think this would be a good idea?

Shido picked up quickly, like always. He had been waiting for Goro’s call, no doubt.

“It’s done,” he said coldly. He wondered if Sakura was going to hear this.

There’s a sigh of relief on the other end. _“Good.”_

“You deal with the publication. I’ll take care of the body.”

_“Should we worry about the others?”_

“No. They won’t act without their leader. Without him, they’re entirely useless.”

_“Fine.”_

He hung up without another word. Goro sighed, and turned back to face Akira once. He seemed to be a bit more awake now, a bit more there. 

The handcuffs came off easy. Despite the ring of purple and red around his wrists, Akira seemed relieved. Goro found his hand on the other’s cheek, stroking the bruised skin with his thumb. It was pointless and only served to waste time, but it was enough to stir a small smile from Akira.

It was enough.

He pulled back after a moment, catching himself. They could do this later.

“Can you stand?” Goro asked, opening the Metaverse App as he did so. That seemed to snap Akira out of his trance as well. He attempted to stand up, using the table in front of him as an aid. His arms shook, and the second he put any pressure on his leg, it folded in on itself. He braced himself and choked back a groan, refusing to give up despite the pain. Drugged, beaten, and half conscious and he still refused to yield. 

Goro sighed, and placed a hand on Akira’s shoulder. He looked up at him as he fell back onto the chair.

“I suppose I should have seen this coming. We’ll have to be careful. You’re in no condition to move, let alone walk,” He said. He would have to carry him throughout the Metaverse. In any other situation, it would seem romantic. 

But now, it just made Goro feel sick. 

“Are you ready?”

Akira didn’t seem ready in the slightest, barely able to remain awake but he nodded regardless. Goro didn’t feel ready either, but he opened the navigation and pulled the both of them into Sae’s palace once more.

**[Sae’s Palace]**

**[Security Level: 99%]** **  
**The interrogation room didn’t look any different save for the absence of the guard’s body. Neither of their clothes had changed yet, which Goro supposed was a good sign. But he didn’t have time to speculate. It wouldn’t be long until one of the shadows noticed their presence.

Goro knelt in front of Akira, who was quick to wrap his arms and legs around the other’s neck and waist. He waited for the other to settle on his back and for himself to adjust to the weight, before standing and moving to open the door. 

The guard on the other side didn’t react when Goro stepped out with a prisoner on his back. It was a barely made cognition, just as the rest of the others were in the police department. Akira’s grip on him tightened as they passed the empty faces of those around him, even if none of the cognitions reacted to their presence. Goro picked up his pace.

It didn’t take too long before the police station began to warp and twist back into Sae’s Casino. The entire place was on high alert after the Phantom Thieves supposedly stole her treasure. The shadows were lurking around every corner, and each of them looking for any sign of intruders. 

And judging by the fact their outfits had reverted to their thief uniforms, they were very much considered ones.

Goro could keep in the shadows well enough, even with the weight of carrying someone on his back. Akira must have finally slipped into unconsciousness from his injuries, though his grip remained tight around the other teen. The few shadows that did notice were instantly silenced by a quick end from Loki or another persona in his arsenal. They seemed to become more and more aware of the two, their attacks becoming more and more frequent as Goro descended the levels of the Casino. One would think it would be more difficult to enter the palace rather than exit it, but Sae was never a simple person.

Goro was able to make it to the ground floor with a few shadows trailing after him. The floor itself was heavily guarded, making it even harder to find a route to escape without being spotted. Goro couldn’t even get close to the safe rooms without catching the eye of a giant elephant or a wandering Valkyrie. He had no choice but to keep moving, finding himself missing Sakura’s navigation.

The back hallways were terrible for combat, but they were his best bet for slipping out unscathed. It was either that or attempted to bust through the front entrance, which was just plain stupid. If he was lucky, he’d be able to sneak out the back without much trouble.

Goro wasn’t that lucky of course.

Jatayu and Ganesha had him cornered, effectively cutting off the both exits and keeping him trapped with a heavy weight on his back and an injured Fenrir desperately trying to defend his master. Goro couldn’t fight with Akira on his back and he couldn’t even think of putting Akira down, straight in the line of fire and entirely helpless. He couldn’t keep switching personas, couldn’t keep fighting with Fenrir, couldn’t summon another without knocking the wind out of him for the thousandth time. Akira couldn’t help him, even if he were awake. He couldn’t run, couldn’t fight, couldn’t do anything with Akira on his back-

Why did he ever think this was a good idea?

Something in the back of his mind screamed at him that he was a moron, that he should just drop the dead weight and run, that they were both going to die here if he doesn’t do something, it’s Akira’s own fault he ended up like this, that Goro had to let him live with it, and if he doesn’t just leave him behind, then he’ll die with him, that Akira will just wake up in the next timeline and it won’t truly matter in the long run. Honestly, he never truly felt conflicted about leaving someone for dead, stranger and ally alike. There was no reason it should be different now.

But he just _couldn’t._

For once, he had something to lose, had someone to lose. Akira had promised him revenge, safety, a life beyond the hellish anger he built up in April, but he had promised him such much in October. Akira had promised him that fairytale everyone talks about, the arms wrapped around his waist pulling him into a surprise kiss, the late night watching braindead action movies laying on top of each other, the early mornings waking up in a sweat mess because they had somehow ended up entangled with one another, the secret dates at the shitty shopping market because it's the only place they could truly ever exist in reality, the Akira’s heartbeat against his back and the arms around his neck, the love that was always out of his reach and now that he finally has it….

Goro refused to let it go.

_“Well, you sure took your time.”_

The pain hit Goro the second the voice did. He staggered for a moment, but kept his grip tight on Akira. Fenrir vanished within an instant, and he understood exactly what was happening through the pain.

_“I was beginning to think you would never be able to accept your own heart. Such indecisiveness, but I see you’ve finally come to the right decision then? Over everything, you chose him?”_

“Y-yes!” Goro choked out through grit teeth. His head felt as though it was on verge of exploding, and yet everything felt completely clear. 

_“Very well, I see no reason to delay this any longer. I am Thou, Thou art I…..For his sake and our’s, let this truth be born of the unspoken depth of thou’s own heart. Take the passion you’ve buried for so long, and protect the one you hold dear!”_

Goro reached for the mask on his face, and tore it off in one swift, agonizing motion. Blood ran down his face, dripping onto the floor as he took a shaky breath. His voice came out as a hoarse growl.

“Ravage them….Hereward!”

The persona manifested in a blur of blue flame the second the words spilled out of his mouth. They were a being clad in black armor with crimson runes, a bow in hand and a torn cape flowing behind them. Arrows struck the two shadows down before they could even realize what was happening, both vanishing in a bout of smoke. They didn’t stand a chance.

Hereward stood tall in front of the thieves, in a protective stance despite the enemies being defeated. Goro let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in as the adrenaline began to wear off. He let himself fall to his knees, sweating and panting heavily. He had forgotten how exhausting this was. It’s been years since his last real ‘awakening’. Akira was still fast asleep on his back, mumbling something incoherent into the back of Goro’s neck.

Hereward had turned to the two of them, kneeling down to their level. He reached out and Goro tensed, but the persona reached past him, running a hand through Akira’s messy hair in some form of silent affection. He pulled back after a moment, and stood fully.

 _“You might want to switch positions,”_ Hereward said. _“Neither of you are very comfortable like that. The exit is not far. Move.”_

Hereward vanished back into his mask and Goro sneered at the condescending comment, but did pull the sleeping teen off his back. He hesitated for a moment, debating on whether or not he was actually doing this, and pulled Akira into his arms in a much more comfortable position. Akira curled up in Goro’s arms, burying his face into his chest and muttered something incoherently. There was a stray thought about how adorable he looked against him, and how good it felt to have Akira against his chest. Goro shook his head after a moment, and stood. He didn’t have the time right now to enjoy this. He needed to move before another shadow decided to take a look down the hall. 

Goro rushed down the hall as fast as he could manage with the weight in his arms and the exhaustion in his limbs. Hereward was right, there was a safe room at the end of the hallway. He was thankful for the lack of shadows. It seemed as though for once, luck was on his side.

It took Goro all he had to not collapse upon entering the safe room. He leaned against the wall for support, letting himself breathe. He had managed to get through with very little wounds, feeling only the phantom pains from the attacks upon his personas, and he sustained almost no physical injuries even if he was still probably going to feel it in the morning. 

Goro let himself rest for a few minutes, just so he could catch his breath. He didn't have much time still, but he still chose to spare a few moments of rest before he had to leave. Once he collected himself, he pulled out his phone and returned back into the real world.

The two of them had landed just outside the courthouse, bruised and a bit worse for wear but alive. Goro let out a sigh of relief and pulled Akira close to his chest. Goro moved his hand over Akira’s own chest, feeling for the slow, steady beat of his lover’s heart. He didn’t need that to know Akira was alive, but he didn’t care. He needed to know the person in his arms was still with him.

It was late into the night, possibly leaking into early morning by the time they had escaped near death. Goro just needed to get Akira somewhere safe. The cafe was no doubt entirely being monitored, his own apartment was far from safe, as was the rest of the Phantom Thieves….

He pulled out his phone suddenly, dialing a number he knew would still be awake, even at this time of night. He waited one ring, two, three-

“What the hell- Akechi? Why are you-”

“Sae? I need a favor.”

* * *

Akira woke up in an unfamiliar place in a lot of pain. The bed under him is too comfortable to be the Leblanc’s, the room is too cold to be Goro’s, the sheets are too nice to prison.

Panic is the first emotion he feels. An overwhelming dread that once he opens his eyes he’ll be on the train to Tokyo again, that Goro had chosen to betray Akira still, that this was all for nothing-

But he’s laying down on his back, and the room still. There’s no chatter of teenage girls or the rattle of the train on the track, and he was no longer wearing the school uniform, instead clothes that were a bit too big to belong to him.

Pain in the only thing keeping him still, and god, everything hurt so bad. His head was pounding and his entire body ached. There was a sharp stinging in his chest every time he took a breath. An involuntary groan escaped his throat as he opened his eyes. 

The room (from what he could see) wasn’t much to look at, ugly wallpaper and cheap curtains drawn over a tiny window. There was a soft orange light from what he could only assume was a lamp on a nearby nightstand. The bed and it’s sheets under him were stiff, but nothing like the crates of the Leblanc. The noise of the TV was low, and had it not been for the silence he would not have known it was on.

Oh, it’s a hotel.

Why is he in a hotel?

Akira pushed himself up, choking back a pained whine that wanted to escape from the back of his throat. Goro had been sitting on the edge of the other bed, and stood the second he made eye contact. Akira could see the split second where the mask cracked, and he could see the worry, the fear, the frustration and _guilt_ before it vanished in the same moment. He shouldn’t feel guilty.

“You’re awake,” Goro stated plainly. 

Akira nodded. “Where….”

“Hotel on the edge of the city. Good distance from both the department, Shibuya and Yongen. Too far for anyone to bother looking,” he said, trying to keep his voice flat, but the anxiousness slipped through. “Sae drove us from the courthouse. You passed out somewhere inside the Casino.”

Akira couldn’t help but let out a snort. “How’d you convince her?”

“Not sure. Confirming your story about talking cats and magical dimensions seemed to help, as did being her colleague.”

Akira hummed and rubbed the side of his face. Bandages lined his limbs and torso. The clothes weren’t his, and he could only assume who helped him clean up.

He was still a bit dizzy. The drugs hadn’t worn off entirely yet.

“What time is it?”

“Around four. Took us a while to get out of the Metaverse.”

“Oh,” Akira said. He didn’t mean to leave Goro to fend for himself. “Are you ok?”

“Am I-” Goro looked absolutely stunned. “Are you actually asking me that right now?”

Akira wasn’t sure why he was so mad. Was it really a stupid question? He really didn’t want to argue right now.

“Akira, you-” Goro sighed, putting his face in his hand. “You’re an idiot, you know that? You get the shit beaten out of you and you ask _me_ if I’m ok? Jesus!”

Goro waved his hand in the air a bit too fast, and Akira flinched involuntarily. He felt a pang of guilt as he saw Goro tense and begin to move a bit more carefully.

“I’m fine, Akira. I can’t say the same about you.”

“What?”

Goro sighed and sat on the bed next to Akira.

“That was an absolutely terrible plan. You could have died.”

Akira shifted, trying to push himself up more.

“I told you, I kn-”

“That’s not the point! If I had actually been coming down to kill you, you’d be dead, and even if you reset, you’d still-” Goro paused. “You scared the hell out of me. I didn’t know that it was going to be that bad.”

Akira felt guilt rise in his chest. He thought Goro knew. Maybe he should have told him more?

“I’m so-”

“I swear to god, if you tell me you’re sorry, I’m going to gag you.”

Goro looked at him with a tired, almost sad look in his eye.

“I saw what happened to you in there. Akira, you were terrified. Don’t try and bullshit me, I saw that look in your eye. You didn’t tell me about that,” Goro said quietly. Akira avoided looking at him directly. “Why do you ever agree to this plan if you knew what was going to happen?” 

Akira shrugged. “I knew it would work.”

“Even though you have to go through all of that?”

“I’ve tried a few other plans in the past, none of which usually work. Better the devil you know.”

Goro didn’t seem satisfied with that answer.

“We could have come up with something else. There were other ways to convince the world you were dead.”

“We don’t know if they would have worked. We knew this one worked, and it did. It’s fine-”

“It is not fine! Don’t tell me this is fine!” Goro said a bit too loudly. “How many times do I have to tell you that you’re the most important piece in this whole operation! What if you had overdosed? What if you bleed out internally? What if the guards decided to finish the job for me? What if you let something slip you weren’t supposed to? What if-”

He stopped, taking a deep breath.

“There were too many factors for it to be guaranteed. We got lucky, but that was a massive risk. You could have died, and even though you didn’t, you still got hurt. I’ve never seen you so scared, and I can’t remember the last time I was ever that worried for someone’s safety other than my own….I even got an entire persona out of it.”

“What? You-”

“It doesn’t matter right now. You were severely injured, you still are, to the point of not being able to walk….why would you agree to this plan in the first place?”

“I-I told you, I knew-”

“That’s not what I meant. The first time, why did you agree to this?”

Akira froze up immediately. He went silent for a few moments, unsure what to say.

“It was what I needed to do,” He said quietly. “We weren’t sure how to get around you, because if we caught you red handed you would have just attacked us and we had no idea how strong you were. If we avoided getting caught by the police they would have just searched our homes until they found me, because you had proof. Makoto came up with the idea and everyone agreed that it was the one that would most likely work. Well, Ryuji was actually against it but he eventually agreed too.”

“And you? Did you say anything?”

“.....I couldn’t say no. It’s not like I had any other ideas, and there wasn’t much time for us to think of a new one, so I just went along with it,” Akira pulled on his bandages absentmindedly. “It was a really bad idea, in all honesty. I didn’t even remember the full plan until last minute and I didn’t know how to get Sae to believe me without changing her heart, and you weren’t going to show me any sort of mercy if I failed.”

“There was no backup plan? Nothing to come help you if things go wrong?” Goro asked.

Akira shook his head. “Like I said, we didn’t have time to make another plan.”

“That’s no excuse for putting you in that sort of danger. I’d expect at least Niijima to know better than that. I cannot believe Sakamoto was the only one that protested,” Goro spoke with a cold anger in his voice, some just below the surface. It made Akira feel oddly good, like it felt nice to know that someone was worried about him. It shouldn’t make him feel as good as it did. “Did you even want to do this?”

“It was what I needed to do.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“.....of course I didn’t. But what was I supposed to say? ‘Sorry, I don’t want to do this, I’m too scared’? I couldn’t let my team down just because I was nervous.”

“You were worried about letting them down? Are you serious?” Goro rubbed the side of his face. “Akira, I do not know how to get it through your thick skull that you almost died. I don’t give a damn if it’s what you thought you needed to do, or if your team was depending on you, you almost died. I needed to carry you out because you were so hurt you couldn’t walk. You were like a frightened animal when I first saw you. You thought I was going to kill you when you first saw me.”

“I….I didn’t-”

“Don’t lie to me. I know that look. You thought you were going to die because it wouldn’t be the first time the plan has failed, right?”

Akira didn’t say anything, so Goro continued.

“Akira, you have to understand that your life is just as important as the rest of this plan. Do you understand that? You’re important. You’re important to the plan, important to this world, important to the Phantom Thieves, you’re-”

Goro stopped, and closed his eyes.

“You’re important to _me._ I can’t lose you. I can’t. I don’t….I don’t know what I’d do if-”

It’s like something finally broke inside Akira, a string strained too tight that finally snapped and tears began to flow freely down his face. It didn’t matter how hard he tried, the tears wouldn’t stop coming. A sob wracked his body as he buried his face in his hands, in some attempt to keep his dignity. His chest ached as he struggled for air between sobs. He felt Goro wrap an arm around Akira, gently pulling him onto his lap as he cried. His arms around him held him so tight, rubbing his back and arms while Goro kissed the top of his head. He whispered comforting words into Akira’s ear, telling him it’s alright, he’s ok, he’s got him, _he loves him_ which only made him cry harder. Akira’s body shook as he clung to the other so tightly it might leave bruises, but he didn’t care right then. All he cared about was the arms around him, the lips on the top of his head, the quiet soothing whispers and affirmation of love. He was cared about, he was wanted, he was loved.

He was loved.

* * *

It had been early evening by the time Akira’s phone was turned back on. None of the Phantom Thieves hadn’t heard from him since the news broke about his supposed sucide in the early morning, which was no surprise, but it didn’t stop them from growing nervous at the radio silence. They hadn’t even heard anything from the oldest Niijima sister yet, other than the brief text that she would ‘be home sometime later, busy at the office’ which did nothing to calm their nerves. Akira’s tracker was off, for some reason. Futaba didn’t want to think about why.

The thieves had waited for a message, a call, anything but nothing was heard. They met in Futaba’s room, and made the choice to call him, just to see what would happen. They needed to make sure nothing went wrong. Makoto was picked to call him, she was the most level headed. 

They didn’t need to worry though. He was fine, just lying low somewhere. 

Right?

The phone rang once, then twice, and then three times before the other end was answered. 

“Akira?” Makoto said, putting it on speaker. “Where are you? Why haven’t you messaged us? Did it work?”

 _“Hello, Niijima,”_ Goro’s voice came in through the other end. The thieves froze, panic building at the realization that Akira….that he might- 

“.....Akechi,” Makoto said, sounding more like a statement than a question.

Goro hummed on the other end, sounding completely calm and causal.

_“Tell me, Niijima, do you take me for a fool?”_

Makoto swallowed, and tried to force herself to sound unfazed and neutral.

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

 _“Don’t play dumb, I’m not in the mood for this,”_ Goro said, his voice a slightly more bitter. _“Did you really think that would work? Did you think I wouldn’t notice the change into the Metaverse? That’s borderline insulting. Really, and here I thought you were the smart one.”_

“You fucker!” Ryuji snapped, finally losing his temper. “What the hell did you do to him?! I swear to god-”

 _“Sakamoto, it might be better for everyone involved if you just shut up,”_ Goro hissed over the phone, clearly dropping his Detective Prince act. Ryuji almost began yelling again when he spoke once more. _“Akira is fine. Well, as fine as he can be after everything he went through.”_

“Bullshit! How can we trust anything you say?!”

Goro sighed on the other end. _“If you don’t believe me, you can ask your sister, Niijima. She was rather helpful in actually helping him get somewhere safe, unlike the rest of you. She can tell you that he was very much alive at 2:19 am last night when she left.”_

The thieves exchanged uncomfortable looks.

 _“Now, you never answered my question,”_ he said. _“Why, for the love of god, did you ever think that was a good idea? I’m honestly curious because your plan was so ridiculous that I need to hear some kind of explanation for this.”_

“Why do you care?” Morgana said. “You were going to kill him! This is all because of you!”

 _“I was never going to kill him, you complete and utter idiots! I wasn’t going to kill the one person that’s really ever gave a damn about me because some prick in a high social standing told me to put a bullet in his head,”_ Goro said. _“The being said, I fully understand why you attempted to circumvent my own plans. The lies I told were convincing, however your plan was entirely foolish.”_

He paused for a moment, laughed bitterly.

_“Actually, I believe that undersells it. I feel as though, ‘fucking stupid and extremely dangerous’ would work better.”_

“Alright, you have Akira. We get it. What the hell do you want?” Ann said.

_“What I want is for a competent team of thieves with some actual intelligence, but apparently that’s too much to ask for.”_

“Alright we get it! You hate us! Are you going to keep berating at us about it or are you actually going to tell us what you want?”

 _“Actually, it might be better to get this out now,”_ Goro said, clearing his throat. _“Now, do any of you mind telling me what the fuck you thinking?!”_

The thieves jumped at his sudden yelling. The change from his calm demeanor to such anger threw them off.

“What-”

 _“You think someone is going to kill your leader, and your genius idea to save him is to….put him directly in the line of fire? Put him in an extremely vulnerable position so the killer has much more control over the situation? Are you that stupid?!”_ Goro was practically growling over the phone. _“You come up with an insane plot with far too many variables to work, get your friend arrested and put him at risk. No back up plan, no protection, just the hope of convincing Sae Niijima, one of the most speculatical women in the world, of this insane story of talking cats and magic monsters. Had I actually wanted to kill him, he would be long dead by now.”_

“Akechi-”

 _“No, shut up listen for once in your fucking lives!”_ He hissed. _“You fucked up. Horribly, and it nearly got him killed. If I had not been there, if I had not been chosen to be the killer, he would be dead. Your plan failed. Sae didn’t believe him, and she left without opening his phone. I doubt he even fully remembered the plan by the end of it.”_

“If the plan was so unacceptable, why didn’t Akira say anything?” Haru said. “He could have said no if he didn’t want to do it!”

 _“Could he? Truly?”_ Goro said, voice dripping with venom. _“What other choice did he have? None of you were going to step up to take his place, clearly. What was the next plan? What would you say if he truly didn’t wish to do it? Something about teamwork and sacrifices so you made him feel so guilty he’ll change his answer?”_

“Look, we all have to take risks-”

 _“Bullshit!”_ Goro shouted over the phone. _“This wasn’t just some dangerous shadow he had to take on alone or difficult puzzles, this was near certain death. Do you know what they did to him? They drugged him, beat him, drugged him again and made sure by the end of it he could barely think straight. He barely recognized me by the end of it. He couldn’t fight, couldn’t walk, barely able to remain conscious I got to him. He was terrified because he thought he was going to die. I had to carry him through the Metaverse because he couldn’t defend himself. Someone had to protect him. None of you were there to do it, so I did it. The monster of your story saved your hero from the danger you put him in.”_

Goro paused.

_“Don’t forget that. Think of me what will you will, killer, monster, traitor, but I was the only one who protected him. I was not the one that gambled his life like that. I was not the one who left him to fend for himself. I was not the one that took his kindness granted. I saved him.”_

Goro let out a sigh, his tone changing once more.

 _“Well, that was rather cathartic. I suppose I should actually get down to what we need to speak about,”_ he said calmly. _“Akira is fine, truthfully. To the rest of the world he’s dead. We’re at a hotel near the edge of Tokyo, and I cannot come to the Leblanc to get anything for him. He needs clothes, actual clean bandages and his glasses. One of you can come by to drop it off if you would like, or send your sister, either one works.”_

Makoto swallowed the lump in her throat, forcing herself to speak. “Can….can we talk with Akira?”

 _“No,”_ Goro said plainly. He paused for a moment before sighing. _“He’s asleep currently, and I’m not waking him up. If he wishes to speak to you when he wakes up, he’ll do it himself.”_

“T-then how do we know he’s even alive and you’re not tricking us!” Futaba said.

Goro audibly groaned on the other end of the line.

 _“Why would I ask for clothes and items that I have no use for? Why would I call you to tell you he’s alive when he isn’t? To fuck with you? I have better things to do with my time,”_ he said. _“It’s probably best if only a few of you came at a time. You don’t want to draw too much attention, lest you risk his life further. That and you don’t want to overwhelm someone that nearly had the life beaten out of them.”_

“So nice of you to give us permission,” Morgana grumbled. “What are you getting from this, huh? Why are you helping him?”

 _“Simple. I care about him,”_ was the only explanation Goro provided. The thieves didn’t believe him. _“I’d suggest sending Yoshizawa or Sakamoto, if not Sae. I don’t need to send the location if Sakura is half as smart as I think she is. Come, or don’t. I don’t care what you do, but the least you can do is show any sort of kindness for your friend.”_

The thieves grimaced at his poorly veiled jabs and insults. Why Ryuji and Sumire were chosen was beyond them, but they didn’t have the chance to ask. 

_“The rest of you should focus your attention on Shido. The election is in a month, and you need to begin mapping out the route to the treasure. It’s an Ark, before you ask. Diet building. Akira and I will join you once he’s recovered enough. I’ll see you then.”_

Goro hung up once he finished his sentence, not giving the chance for any of them to protest or say anything, leaving them alone with a thousand questions and no answers. At least, none they wanted to think about.

“So….what do we do?” Haru asked after a long, uncomfortable silence. “Are we supposed to just trust him?”

“We don’t have a choice,” Yusuke said. “If what he says is true, he is the reason Akira is still alive.”

“We don’t even know if….” Makoto said, trailing off.

“But why would he call us if Akira-senpai wasn’t?” Sumire said. “Akechi-senpai knows who we are. If he wanted to kill us he could have just….”

“So, what? We just go along with what he says?” Ann said spectically. 

“We don’t have much of a choice!” Sumire said, louder than she intended. “If Akira-senpai is in the hotel with Akechi-senpai and if he really is hurt, then we should help him out by bringing him stuff he needs!”

“We can’t trust Akechi!”

“What if he is telling the truth, huh? What’s Akira going to think if we just don’t help him? He’ll think we abandoned him!” 

“He wouldn’t think that!” Morgana protested. “We’re his friends!”

Somehow, that didn’t make her feel any better. She just felt sick. “That’s more reason to help him! He needs us right now!”

Sumire huffed and turned on her heel away from the rest of the thieves. She was unsure of whether she was angry or sad truthfully. Maybe it was guilt, or shame. She should have said something, whether to Akira or Akechi or just or to the rest of the group. She didn’t like it from the beginning, but still she remained silent because she thought there wasn’t another way. She should have known that Akira was uncomfortable with the plan, or have more faith in Akechi or….she should have done something.

“I’m going to help him,” was the last thing Sumire said before she left.

* * *

The car ride is quiet and tense, and Sumire was beginning to regret not taking the train. 

Ms. Niijima was nice enough to offer to drive her to go see Akira and Akechi to drop off some stuff (and just to make sure Akira is ok). Ms. Niijima was silent on the drive there, save for an occasional ask on whether or not she was comfortable or to talk about the weather, which died off quickly. She was thankful when the hotel finally came into view.

The hotel was nice, maybe a bit cheap and rather inconspicuous, which made sense. No one really wanted to draw attention to Akira right now. Akechi had refused to tell them which room they were in, so they just had to follow Ms. Niijima throughout the halls of the building. She didn’t know that Akechi was so paranoid, but she couldn’t really blame them. She would be too.

Sumire couldn’t help but rush up to hug Akira the second she laid eyes on him. She did feel bad to practically ignore Akechi when he opened the door, but all the worry and anxiety seemed to spill out once and she practically jumped on him. 

“Ah- yeah, missed you too,” Akira said with a chuckle. “Go easy on me, I’m fragile.”

Sumire jumped back. “S-sorry! I forgot!”

He still smiled at her, even though he was still injured. She didn’t miss the glare Akechi threw her way from near the doorframe, though. She pulled the bag of clothes off her shoulder and handed it to Akira. His face lit up. Was he always this expressive without his glasses?

“Thanks,” he said, rummaging through the bag and pulling out his spare glasses with a grin. “You really didn’t have to come all this way, you know.”

“Don’t be silly, of course I did!” she said. “We were all worried about you too, so I’m also here to check up on you!” 

He put the glasses back onto the bridge of his nose. He smiled at her again, but it felt different this time.

“I appreciate it, but like I told Yusuke, I’m fine.”

 _‘You don’t look fine’_ , she almost said. _‘You look hurt.’_

“Plus, Goro won’t let me take five steps out of the room without fussing, so you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Akechi scoffed from his position at the edge of the room. 

“Someone has to make sure your recklessness doesn’t get you killed,” was all he said before returning to his conversation with Ms. Niijima. 

Akira rolled his eyes, but laughed a little regardless. She felt as though she was missing something. There was the obvious change in Akechi’s behavior, but she had expected that. Something about Akira seemed to be different.. Sumire knew that people sometimes changed after a traumatic experience, in Dr. Maruki’s words, but Akira was acting the same as before. He had the same smile, the same tone of voice, same jokes, but something just felt odd. But she didn’t say anything about it. Maybe she should have, but she just wasn’t sure what to say and the subject was changed. 

They discussed how school was, the plans for the next heist, what the next steps were, how everyone was doing and how the progress with the palace was going. Akechi had mostly remained quiet, other than an explanation of the palace functions or an occasional snarky comment. Akira would make little jabs and jokes at the detective, who would return with his own mean words, and Sumire felt as though she was missing something again. There was some dynamic between them she couldn’t quite get a grasp on, like the cruel comments didn’t bother Akira or how Akechi’s annoyance only seemed surface level. It felt strange still, but she didn’t say anything about that either.

Sumire and Ms. Niijima couldn’t stay long, both had school or work in the morning. Akechi wouldn’t let Akira walk them out (he didn’t want to risk anyone seeing him, which Akira thought was dumb) so Akechi ended up walking them out (which Akechi thought was idiotic, but Akira wouldn’t let him stay because it would be rude). 

Akechi was an oddly cold person in comparison to the one she knew before. She wasn’t surprised by this, she knew that were lying to them from the beginning, but still, the change from the kind, mild natured Akechi to this bitter, cold version was enough to throw her off. But still, she could see the little cracks in the outer exterior, little moments where she could see something other than annoyance or contempt. Sometimes, when he was staring a bit too long at Akira, she caught him with a look of something akin to admiration or maybe even fondness. Though, it would be gone as soon as it appeared.

“I suppose I should wish you luck,” Akechi said in the empty parking lot. “We’ll be joining the rest of you in a few days, once Akira is feeling better. Until then, try not to get yourselves killed. That would be an unfortunate setback.”

Sumire nodded. “We’ll keep you guys updated! I hope Akira-senpai feels better soon, but he should rest as long as he needs! I don’t want him to push himself too hard. Oh, and Akechi-senpai?”

He sighed. “What?”

“Thank you.”

He blinked in surprise. “.....excuse me?”

“Thank you, for helping us I mean. Akira-senpai is really lucky to have you, and so are we! You really care about him, and it’s good to have someone to take care of you when you need it. So, thank you.”

Akechi stared at her for a moment, before eventually scoffing dismissively.

“Don’t bother. If Akira were not here, I guarantee you things would be very different. I doubt we would be on the same side.”

Sumire wasn’t fazed by his words, giving him as sweet as a smile she could muster. She met his gaze, refusing to back down from his glare.

“Well, thank you anyway. You’re a good friend. I mean it.”

He stared at her, and for a second she could see something flicker behind his eyes before it vanished.

“Sure,” was all he said as he turned away from her. Even despite his cruelty and supposed indifference, she felt glad to know that Akechi was here to help Akira where they couldn’t. He pretended that he didn’t care all he wanted, everything he’s done has shown just how much he cared about Akira, and how he wants to do right in his own way. Perhaps she should have had faith with him from the beginning. She may not fully understand him, but he didn’t seem to be all that bad.

She was glad to have someone so dedicated on their side.

* * *

Shido’s palace went by in a blur. Goro knew the layout like the back of his hand, and Akira’s preemptive knowledge of the puzzles made it far easier than expected. Of course, they had to let the rest of the Phantom Thieves think it was a collective effort, that they had come up with the solution together. Truly, their gullibleness never ceased to amaze him.

The rest of the thieves kept their distance, which was no surprise. They didn’t like him, didn’t trust him, didn’t want him around and it’s not as though he wanted them around either. Akira acted as a buffer between the two, the only thing stopping them from breaking out into a physical altercation at any second during the mission. Yoshizawa was the only one of them who looked at him with something other than poorly disguised disgust or rage. She was either naive or she simply did not care that he was a murderer and a traitor, but he didn’t practically care. She backed him up well enough in battle, and that was all that mattered to him.

They were quite shocked to see that Goro also had Wildcard ability, as though Akira was the only one who could ever be one. He gave some half truths about thinking it was an inherent ability in personas users until he met them (honestly, he hadn’t met a single persona user before now and “Igor” was the only one that gave him any sort of direction). He couldn’t help but enjoy the anxiousness that Loki caused, as though they truly believe that Robin Hood was his initial persona.

Akira was as skillful as ever, still holding back but not nearly as much as he was in Sae’s palace. He had to convince the rest of thieves he was truly giving it his all, and was quite good at it. A fantastic actor, as always. A magnificent one, too.

He hadn’t bothered to keep any distance between the two of them this time either. The battles and kills and jokes with one another felt natural, almost as though it was simply another expedition into the Metaverse with just the two of them. He didn’t care much about the judgemental looks from the rest of the thieves, to hell with them. The two of them were the only ones that really mattered in this game.

Goro hadn’t much thought about Akira’s own personification of love, or whether or not he had one to begin with. Hereward and Akira alone was enough to steal his attention away for long enough, but Sigyn was something else entirely. She took the form of a gorgeous, ethereal woman dressed in flowing robes of obsidian and sapphire. Her long, auburn hair was pulled into a loose braid that seemed to flow with the rest of her. In her hand was an ancient stone bowl filled with a murky, ugly liquid. From her back sprouted three pairs of feathered, indigo colored wings that wrapped curved around her elegant form. She was mesmerizing, haunting, and borderline deadly in battle. Of course, Akira’s emotions would always be the only one that matched Goro’s own, and his love was no exception. She decimated those that stood against them without mercy, and holds an aura of majesty while doing so, making it unable to take your eyes off of her at any moment.

Just like him.

“She’s beautiful,” Goro had said to Akira once. “Quite impressive, Joker.”

Akira had been caught off guard by his statement, scratching the back of his head nervously and looking away in an attempt to hide the subtle blush across his cheeks. 

“You think so?” He said with a smile. “She’s pretty cool.”

“You speak so casually about such a goddess,” Goro said, watching the persona carefully. She gave him a soft, almost proud smile. “Sigyn….you do know she’s-”

“Yeah, I do,” Akira said. “There’s not much on her in records. But she has a lot of stories to tell me, and Loki is in _plenty.”_

Goro hummed. “Your own expression of love is quite fascinating. One built of beauty, victory, and the values of loyalty over everything. A story of turning one’s back on their own godhood for the sake of easing someone else's punishment, someone who every other being in the universe believes he is deserving of such a fate…..I feel as though I should be flattered over such devotion.”

“Aw, are you calling me pretty?” Akira teased, as though Goro couldn’t see him blatantly avoiding the rest of his words. “What about you, huh? Hereward the Wake, the great outlaw hero of England. A being of protection, watchfulness, and one’s own sense of justice….Doesn’t that sound familiar? Maybe….born out of a desire to be the hero, saving the day and getting the girl, or well, boy in this case….does that sound about right?”

Hereward was born out a desire to protect, to keep those he loved safe. They acted as a guardian for Akira, to be able to keep him from everything he couldn’t fight off on his own. Was that love? The desire to protect one’s lover from all harm? Why did it seem so much like selfishness? Is it an unyielding dedication for your lover despite everything they’ve done? Why did that seem so much like naivety? Goro still isn't sure.

He sighed and rolled his eyes at Akira, thankful for his mask to the red across his own cheeks. It seemed as though Akira picked up on it anyway.

“And I gotta say, Hereward is pretty handsome. If you’re not careful, we might just run off together,” he said with a chuckle. 

Oh, that isn’t fair, it’s not as though Goro liked women enough for Sigyn. Though, Loki didn’t seem to care much about his masters preferences.

Akira chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Goro’s waist and lifted the other’s mask up to meet him face to face.

“Seriously though, I don’t need a persona for me to know that I love you,” he said, pressing his forehead against Goro’s own. His heart softened at the action, even if he didn’t show it. “I just have to look at you and suddenly I’m overcome with the urge to kiss you.”

“Such smooth words, Joker,” Goro purred. “Do you tell that to all the people you try to seduce?”

“I’m trying to be romantic, dumbass, not to fuck in the middle of your father’s palace. Jeez, you pour your heart out and all the other guy wants to think about is sex-”

Akira was silenced by a sudden kiss from Goro, whose hand had been placed on the back of the other’s head. He pulled away after a moment, letting himself bask in the formly bold and boisterous Joker become flustered and red in the face.

“What, no more pretty words? And here I thought you wished for affirmation of love. What a shame,” Goro whispered against the other’s lips, before pulling away. “Well, we don’t have much time for this. We still have a mission to complete.”

Akira was stunned into silence for a moment, before he groaned. “You’re the worst.” 

Goro smirked as he pulled his mask back down. They were so close to the end. Two more shitheads to take down, and then they can finally relax and just be. Soon, the game will be over, and they will be standing as the victors. Goro would finally be able to enjoy more of this, more of Akira’s flustered little reactions or the soft, meaningful actions or those brief moments of intimacy. 

Perhaps it was pathetic how quickly his heart was stolen by the thief, and how there was nothing more he wanted to do than to pull him close and hold Akira in his arms, simply keep him against Goro’s chest and exist with just the two of them. But he couldn’t bring himself to care. They were the only two that truly mattered to him, and Akira will be there for him at the end of it all, just as he had so many times before.

This one will be the final one. He’ll make sure of it.

* * *

Shido put up one hell of a fight in the end. His shadow hadn’t held back in the least bit, which was no surprise. Shido was always a stubborn bastard and his shadow was no different. The battle had been difficult, neither side refusing to relent in any way. He had ranted and raved about the elite of society and how he was the only one fit to lead…..his insane ramblings almost made Goro pity him. Almost. The bastard had tried to have his own son killed after all he’s done for him. Goro had lost all sympathy for him long ago.

Shido had gone as far as to isolate Akira from the rest of the thieves temporarily. Goro experienced a brief moment of panic because of course Akira had failed to mention this risk beforehand. But he knew Akira would not only survive but decimate Shido in the fight. Goro almost wished Akira would have killed Shido and be done with it, but that’s not how it went. 

Shido was enough of a fool to nearly kill himself to attempt to stop the Phantom Thieves, but it failed specturally. Goro had known the layout of the ship like that back his hand, and Akira had warned him of this stunt beforehand, and while Akira had given him a brief moment of worry while escaping, putting himself at risk to get the escape raft to the rest of the thieves. But ultimately, they were able to escape with the treasure for the most part shaken, but unscathed.

Akira had told Goro that Shido’s confession would be dismissed by the public at first, that in order to get justice they would need to destroy the God of Control. He wasn’t surprised when the public didn’t care about Shido’s “mental break”, even if he was annoyed at how gullible the rest of the world was. He knew they would deny the existence of the Phantom Thieves, that they would need to take on the False God a few times before it would work. Akira had said it would get bleak, that it’s going to seem like everything is lost at different points in time and to just keep faith in him. But he still hadn’t expected to lose.

Perhaps he should have noticed Akira’s unusual anxious silence as they traveled through the Mementos, or how when he did speak, it was to remind Goro that it was going to be ok and that he loved him. Goro found it strange, but he didn’t have much time to focus on that as they needed to get to the bottom layer before the day is up. He could speak with Akira afterwards, he had thought.

But they reached the bottom of the Mementos, encountered and fought against the Holy Grail, and they _lost._ Akira had held back, _why had he held back?_ Wasn’t this the one times where he could fully let loose? But he didn’t, and they had lost. The Holy Grail had removed them from the Mementos and left them confused and injured in Shibuya. Akira hadn’t spoken a word, hadn’t even looked at them in the eye as they watched the sky turn crimson. The Mementos and real world had begun to fuse together and no one had some much as blinked as the city twisted into a hellish landscape.

And then they began to disappear. They were erased in the public eye. There was no Phantom Thieves in the public’s mind, and if the Mementos were merged with reality, then there was no Phantom Thieves, and that meant that they didn’t exist-

It had been quick, but so, so painful. Akira was silent as they vanished, even as his own body began to break apart and disappear. Sakura had first, and the rest of them weren’t far behind. The horror and fear and anger and resignation plastered across their faces as they were erased from existence, the ignorances of crowd walking past a group of dying teens without a care, the twisted world around them, the absolute futility of it all-

Goro would have vomited if he could. 

His vision blurred as he struggled to remain upright. He had always expected to die in some blood mess, against shadows or Shido with Loki at his side, making sure that whoever killed him would not be alive long enough to enjoy it, but this? This was not the way he had wanted to die.

Goro’s eyes land on Akira’s barely breathing form. How many times had they been close to death before? It was never like this, never this hopeless as they had the other to pick each other up. They weren’t supposed to lose. Somewhere in the back of his mind a voice tells him _“At least we’re not alone”_ as though it mattered.

Akira had known it was going to happen, he knew and he just let it happen. He knew this was coming and still he hadn’t warned Goro why hadn’t he tried to stop it _why didn’t he do something why why why-_

Darkness overtook his vision, and his mind grew silent.

* * *

Goro hadn’t expected to wake up, but he did.

He’s in what looks to be a jail cell. It’s not realty, obviously, with an eerie blue glow and a mysterious haze beyond the doors, but it’s a dingy, ugly jail cell nonetheless. There was nothing but silence besides his own movements, echoing throughout the empty hall beyond. He is more than likely somewhere within the Mementos, to keep him from being a problem to the oh so wonderful Holy Grail of the masses. Or maybe he was dead, and this was some kind of strange, unfitting punishment in hell.

Probably not. If this was hell, it was a serious disappointment.

Goro forced himself to stand, biting back a groan as he looked over himself. He had all of his limbs, thankfully. All body autonomy seemed to be in tack as he forced himself to stand. He felt dizzy, his body ached, and he was absolutely pissed, but at least he was alive.

Oh, he’s still alive. 

And Akira fucking knew, he KNEW what was going to happen and just let Goro think he was actually going to die, that they had lost and that they were going to vanish and the False God would think he won-

Goro should have known better. He never saw Satanael.

He grabbed hold of the bars of the cell. Locked, no surprise there. There’s no traditional lock as far as Goro could see, no chains around the bars or handle. He was still in his street clothes, but he could still feel Loki still scratching under his skin, muted but ever present. There was something holding the both of them down, a weight on his chest that made it hard to breathe.

No one knew he was down here. As far as the cognitive world knew, he didn’t exist. Were the other Phantom Thieves down here as well, somewhere beyond the silence and the fog? Was Akira in a cell somewhere too? What was his plan exactly? What was supposed to happen? Was Akira supposed to break out on his own? 

Well, Goro wasn’t going to get answers by just speculating. He needed to get out of this dingy cell and kill the so-called god with his own bare hands if he had to. 

The door wasn’t opening, and he couldn’t see any lock to pick. There was no chain to cut either, no way to really get the down to somehow open. He could attempt to use brute force to get through the door, but somehow he doubted that would work. Despite looking rusted and ancient, something told him that even Niijima or Sakamoto could break through. A persona might break through without much trouble, maybe. Goro sighed, and closed his eyes. He reached out into the unconscious abyss for Loki, but Loki didn’t come. He furrowed his brow, and reached again. Nothing.

Oh, fuck no. That is not how this is going to happen. Goro had fought way too fucking hard to even start with whatever the hell the False God is trying to pull. He’s lost plenty in his life, but Loki was a part of him. Loki was him. He can’t take that from Goro. _He won’t let him._

“L….Loki….” He choked out. He could feel the persona shift inside his chest distantly, but nothing manifested. “Loki….!”

More faint movement, scratching just beneath the surface but still out of reach. He called out again, and felt a stronger pull from his persona but it’s not enough. Again, the same result. Again, same result, and again and again and again- 

Something was blocking them, a wall that prevented Loki from taking form. He could feel his blood boiling and screaming as Loki tore at the barrier with little success. Fury built in his chest, threatening to burn a hole through him and spill out. Goro couldn’t accept this. He won’t. It can’t take this from him. That thing can’t take Loki. It was all his fault, the conspiracy, the ignorance the fury the lies the deaths the murders this was all his fault and he can’t have this he can’t have HIM Loki was _him him him him-_

The rage had exploded in a burst of heat and electricity from his veins and the wall shattered. Goro wasn’t sure where the spell came from, Loki or him ~~_they were the same_ ~~ ~~.~~ By the time he regained his senses, the cell’s door had been hanging open, barely able to hold to it’s rusted hinges. He was shaking, not out of fear or anger but out of pure adrenaline. His skin burned and his heart raced. His blood felt like acid and oil all at once.

He wasn’t sure what happened, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it. He needed to move.

Goro pushed the door open, nearly knocking off it’s handles as he stepped out into the empty hall. The hallway split into three different directions, left, right and forward. There was no discernible difference between the paths. He may just have to choose one and be done with it, but that just didn’t sit well with him. God, where was the Sakura girl when you need her?

Footsteps came from his left suddenly, interrupting the silence. He tensed, subconsciously reaching for a gun or weapon that wasn’t there. Great. He had Loki, and his other personas but that left him vulnerable physically to whatever the hell was coming down the hall. He watched and waited, but what came out of the darkness wasn’t a monster or shadow.

Akira had looked stunned for a brief moment, before he rushed forward. Goro didn’t have time to react before he’s being suffocated by an uncomfortably tight hug. Akira lingered for a moment too long before pulling away with an excited (relieved) smile on his face. Goro gave the other a moment of relief before he gave him a hard slap to the face. Akira staggered back for a moment, holding a hand up to his now redden cheek before sighing.

“Alright. That’s fair.”

“You fucker!” Goro hissed. “You didn’t even have the balls to warn me! You just let me think we lost and we died! The least, the very LEAST you could have done was give me some kind of implication that I was going to fucking disitengrate in the middle of the square!”

Akira didn’t look fazed at the other’s anger, speaking with a flat, plain tone. “Would you really have let it happen had you knew?”

Goro couldn’t say he would, but the statement only made it more angry.

“That’s not the fucking point! You could have at least given me _something_ so I knew I would survive!”

“How? The closest thing I could do without directly telling you?”

“That was your problem to deal with! You claimed you would handle any issue that I couldn’t be made aware of, but that doesn’t mean you leave me in the dark about things such as this! I thought that- we were-”

“I know,” Akira said. “But I had to. I don’t regret it, and I’m not sorry for what I did, I’d do it again if I had too. But I’m sorry for leaving you in the dark. It sucks, and I’m sorry. You have complete permission to chew me out when we’re not in a battle between humanity and god. Right now we’re kind of on a time crunch so I’m begging you to save your anger for later.”

Akira looked unusually tense, anxious, looking like he was on the verge of collapsing had it not been for the pure adrenaline running through his veins. His clothes were stained with dried blood, and judging by the state of his face, it was his own. 

“You look like shit,” was all Goro said. 

Akira snorted, turning to move down one of the other hallways. “Yeah, let a pair of preteen girls beat the living crap out of me.”

Goro hummed, following him. Did the twins attack him because of the False God? Were they really that ignorant?

“How’d you get out of the cell anyway?”

“It was unlocked,” Goro lied. “I’m not sure what the purpose of putting me there was if he simply let me walk out of this.”

Akira looked a bit surprised, but also looked too tired to question it. 

“Figures.” 

Goro wasn’t sure what he meant.

“We have to go find the others,” Akira continued. “They can’t get out on their own.”

Incomptent as always. Joker has to do everything, again. Well, at least it wouldn’t be for much longer.

“Fine, but let’s make it quick,” Goro said with a sigh. “I can’t wait to kill this bastard.”

* * *

Satanael was beautiful.

Well, beautiful felt like an understatement. Goro could think of a thousand other words that fit but none of them truly did justice. Breath-taking, angelic, otherworldly, exhilarating, dangerous, elegant, divine, powerful, untouchable, _holy holy holy holy-_

Satanael was a massive, ethereal being that seemed far more holy than the supposed god they were fighting against. The Trio of wings that reached high into the heavens and the curved sets of gold and silver horns and the spinning halo and the powerful silver gun and the blue radiance- it was all _him._ This was the true form of Akira’s soul, finally laid bare after months of promises and it did anything but disappoint. A being of pure, uncontainable chaos and freedom that refused to bend to the god’s will. A symbol of rebellion and free will, the wings of destruction and hope all took the form of a fallen angel. 

_This was Akira._

For all the gold and glamour and speeches of humanity’s place and need for guidance and claims of godhood, Yaldabaoth never stood a chance. 

It only took a single shot to kill the False God. A single bullet from the barrel of Satanael’s gun caused the arrogant and foolish metal being to fall. It died at the hands of the humans it mocked and toyed with, crumbling into pieces as the world returned to it’s original state. There’s some poetic irony in there, a continuation of the cycle of humanity rejecting the light of god by the traitorous angel once more. Perhaps it was justified then as well.

Tokyo returned to normal near instantaneous after the False God died. The world had nearly ended, and life for the people went on as normal. The Metaverse collapsed in on itself, taking Morgana with it. It was only temporary of course, Akira had already told him that the cat would eventually return in a few months’ time. The Phantom Thieves mourned his loss regardless.

The group split off one by one, ready to go rest after such a long battle, with the promise of a celebration tomorrow. Each gave their own goodbyes as left, until only Goro and Akira remained standing. Sae had approached them not moments later.

Goro had known from the beginning that Akira would go to jail at the end of this. Akira had told him what would happen after they won, temporary jail time until Akira’s name was cleared. Two months, barely anything in the long run. Goro hadn’t cared, as long as it meant Shido got to rot for the rest of his miserable life. He had already compromised by letting the bastard live.

As things progressed, Goro had attempted to offer to take his place. It would make sense for the killer of the two of them to be the one to take the fall. Shido’s destruction was his main goal, and it’d be fitting if it’d be him to finally be the one to put an end to this. But Akira had refused, adamant that it would be him.

“Look, we can’t guarantee what happens if you try to take my place,” Akira had said that night. “You’d be on the hook for multiple murder charges, and I don’t know as much about the legal system as you do, but that doesn’t just get cleared in a couple of months time. No one is coming in to exonerate you. You confess, and you won’t get out for years, even with all your connections. If I go? Two months. That’s it. I’ll be back before Valentine’s Day. Two months vs. god knows how long. What sounds better?”

Goro had nothing to protest with, no matter how much he wanted to. Logically, Akira should go over him. Goro would never see the light of day if he admitted to his crimes, and it was only two months. But it wasn’t right for Akira to be the one who would pay for the actions of others. He saved humanity, and yet still must pay for it’s mistakes. Why did Shido’s lackeys get to walk away unscathed? Why did Goro get to walk away with no repercussions? Why did any of the rotten bastards get to walk free after all they’ve done? What made Akira deserve any of this?

This world was unjust, even still.

“Can I just-” Akira said to Sae. “Tomorrow. I’ll turn myself in then, but...can I just have tonight?”

Sae eyed him carefully, before nodding. “Alright. Just don’t take too much time.”

Akira nodded silently as she turned and walked away, leaving only him and Goro standing alone in the bustling crowd. It began to snow as Akira extended his hand to Goro, who took it without another word.

The Leblanc is empty when they enter. Sojiro had shut it down for the night, only leaving it unlocked for Akira to come home. He was probably at home right now with Sakura, spending the night celebrating their victory in saving the world like a happy little family. The rest of the Phantom Thieves had their own families to visit, own places to be. It didn't matter to them what the others did. They had each other.

The attic of the cafe is freezing, and so is Akira. His hands, face, arms, lips, chest, legs, every part of him is so damn cold under his touch. Goro pulled him close to his chest, closer than they’ve ever been before and as close as he ever can be. There are arms wrapped tight around his neck, and his own hands find themselves locked in the other’s black curls. His lips are on the other's neck, feeling it flutter as moans and sobs escaped his throat. His heart is pounding in his chest, matching the rapid beating of his partners’ own heart. His hands travel over the body in front him, as though he was trying to memorize every curve and change and mark and scar that haven’t quite healed yet. 

Akira is crying, they both are. The window was the only source of light, casting them an golden glow as the tears flowed freely down their cheeks. Akira always looked so pretty when he cried, he wondered if Akira thought the same of him. His breath was shaky, appearing as a fog cast the under the lights of the city. The air is freezing, and they cling to each other for a heavenly warmth they so desperately needed. His name spills off the other’s lips like divinity, like unspoken words from a prophet only for his ears.

“Please, please, Goro,” Akira pleads, like a holy mantra between sobs. “Please, please, please, I love you so much, please don’t leave I need you here I love you I love you ple-.”

Goro doesn’t let him finish, pressing his lips against Akira’s own. He tasted of chocolate and ambrosia.

Tomorrow, they would have to face reality. The world would come crashing in once more and pull them apart. The sunrise would bring in the cold isolation both of them knew so well.

But for tonight, they exist in their own heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, if only it ended there
> 
> finally!! at a month and half the first chapter is done!! I really hope you enjoyed


	2. Asgard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All hail the king

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got it down to *checks word count* 13k this time, but don't expect this to last lol. maybe chap 5 will be around this but expect the next few chapters to be longer.
> 
> Anyway enjoy Akechi making another bad decision which is gonna lead to a series of even worse decisions. So typical Akechi behavior.

Goro found himself standing in a palace of silver and gold. Sunlight spilled through stained glass, casting him in an array of colors. The floors were made of bronze, painted in colors of white and amber, matching the walls made of silvers and stone. The high curved ceiling was held up by the large pillars of white, lined with a golden trim that continued the hall. The heat of the outside sun basked the hall in a comfortable warmth. He could hear water lapping against rock somewhere beyond the walls of the palace. His footsteps echoed throughout the vacant halls. The palace felt otherworldly and unfamiliar, yet welcoming and warm, like a home he hasn’t seen since he was a child.

Goro raised a hand to shield himself from the glimmering colored light from the sun. He could see nothing beyond the stained windows. There was no wind, no voices or footsteps beyond his own. There wasn’t a soul in sight, and yet he could feel the eyes on his back from somewhere beyond his vision. The ghost of claws scrapped across his neck, but he remained still. Whatever it was, it was no true danger to him.

“Out,” was the command that slipped out of his mouth before he could even think. “Now.”

“Aw, you’re no fun,” purred a voice from behind him. Goro turned, his own eyes meeting a pair of golden ones. The shadow’s appearance took a form nearly identical to his own with some of it’s own unique qualities. The most eye-catching being the twin horns that adorned the top of his head, colored in a black and white spiral. The other’s sickening grin showed off the overly sharp carnes. His outfit was strange, a black tailcoat lined with white and crimson that split off into two pointed, frayed ends. Underneath was a vest of white with a black and red trim. His pants were black leather, matching the heeled boots lined with gold. He wore black gloves, with red coloring the fingertips of the cloth. Golden jewelry hung from his neck, his horns, his hands. Goro’s eyes were drawn to the necklace adorned with an onyx, the stone carved with twin snakes in the center. His hair was longer than Goro’s, pulled into a loose braid.

“Loki,” Goro stated plainly. Loki’s grinned widened as he chuckled. 

“In the flesh,” he said, poking Goro’s nose playfully. Goro batted his hand away, furrowing his brow. He looked around for a moment, before sighing.

“.....I’m dreaming.”

Loki hummed, tilting his head. “Well, you’re correct I suppose. You are asleep….but it’s not quite as simple.”

Goro let out a sigh. “When is it ever?”

Loki let out a short laugh. “You have a point, little prince. What was the saying….’no rest for the wicked?’”

“Why am I here? Why do you look like….” He gestured to Loki vaguely. _“That.”_

“Do you like it? I’ve been experimenting, and I do rather like this form,” Loki said, presenting himself proudly. “For all your….drawbacks, you do have a pretty face.”

Goro huffed, shooting the persona a glare. “What is it Loki? Where are we?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Loki said with amusement in his voice. “It’s a palace. _Your_ palace.”

Goro watched Loki’s expression carefully, waiting for the reveal that it was another one of god’s ‘hilarious’ jokes or tricks, but Loki simply stared back at him, his gaze unwavering and unchanging.

The idea of him having a palace wasn’t new to him. Hell, he had even made a point to regularly check if one had formed, just as a precaution. But why would he have one now? What in god’s name did Loki want? And this….this palace was not what he expected. He was never one for the glamour and gold. That entire life was all a farce. 

“That’s impossible,” Goro said after a long pause. “The Metaverse vanished with the False God’s death.”

“Do not be so arrogant in your assumptions,” he said. “What makes you think it’s gone simply because the golden king is dead?”

“Because I watched it collapse with my own eyes.”

“Deceptive little things aren’t they? Human eyes, I mean,” Loki said. “All it takes is a change in form or a minor illusion and you have their minds in the palm of your hand. Do not trust in them so easily, little prince.”

“Get to the point.”

“Do you remember what your little thief told you? That stormy night in autumn?” Loki said as he leaned closer to him. It felt like ages ago, but it could not have been more than a few months since that night. He remembered it well, the night when Akira’s wounds started to split and bleed openly, when the ghosts of memories started to take shape and become physical. He had nearly broken that night, barely able to hold himself together by the comfort of a partner he barely trusted. A realization, a bout of paranoia, and an extended hand was all it took. He had learned about the truth about Yoshizawa that night, about Maruki, about idealization of mankind and the destructive power of Metaverse-

“I see,” Goro muttered after a long pause. “This is some brief echo of a dying world?”

“I suppose that’s one way to look at it,” Loki said reluctantly. 

“But that still does not explain why you’ve brought me here, unless this was simply an attempt to get on my nerves.”

Loki feigned offense.

“I wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing,” He extended a hand out to Goro with a smile. “Come, follow me.”

Goro narrowed his eyes and pushed past the persona. Loki’s smile was unwavering as they began to walk down the hall.

“Why are you a shadow?” Goro asked bluntly. “And if there’s an actual reason for me being here, by all means, get to it.”

“Impatient little prince,” Loki huffed. “Arrogant too….such matters are not as black and white as they appear. Shadows and personas are the same, with just different states of mind and different forms. When someone has a palace, but no true shadows are present….personas have some domain over their master’s palaces, including their own forms, with some limitations. I’m still very much your persona. This,” He gestured to his body. “Is simply the form I’ve chosen. One I’ve spent too much time on to be confused with a mere shadow version of you. That’s just plain insulting.”

“That’s impossible. A palace cannot exist without a shadow, and a persona user cannot have a palace if they still have control over their persona.”

“Ah! There’s that arrogance again!” Loki said, pointing to Goro. “You assume you know everything about the Metaverse, don’t you? You may have experience, little prince, but you lack knowledge. A palace is most commonly formed around distortions, true, but they serve other purposes, and shadows are not a requirement for a palace to be in existence.” 

“You expect me to believe this?”

“Three years and I have not once lied to you. I have and always will be loyal to you. If I was a shadow, you would know the second you saw me. You’d be dead the second you stepped foot in this kingdom if I were,” Loki hissed at him. “I have been around long before I bound myself to you. I know plenty of tricks that you do not. Do not believe you know everything about the world around you. Your thief proved it enough to you, hasn’t he?”

Goro shot him a glare at the mention of Akira, which only caused a stir of laughter from the persona.

“I see where Hereward gets it from. I didn’t know such coldness could come from such a loving being.”

Goro sighed, still attempting to wrap his mind around this. “Fine. If you’re not a shadow as you say, then what about the other two? Where are they?”

Loki did something akin to a snort, and rolled his eyes. “Robin is more than likely wandering the upper floors or some part of the halls we have come across. He’s quite impressed by the glamour, being the vain creature he is. Hereward is moping around in the garden most likely. Hereward is….dissatisfied with current events but that’s a shared emotion. Like I said, a palace does not need a shadow to exist.” 

“Then why am I here?” Goro said, not even bothering to hide the annoyance in his voice. “There is a point to this, correct?”

“Of course.”

The two stopped in front of a set of gorgeous double doors, carved with symbols and creatures around the rim. A blindfolded woman was painted in the center, golden scales in one hand and a crimson sword in the other. Goro didn’t have much to admire such artwork, as the doors began to open to reveal a much grander display. It was a throne room, one draped in golds and whites. The room was a wide, open area with white marble floors lined with amber and crimson streaks. A twin set of stairs led up to a balcony on either side of the room held up by silver pillars, overlooking the open space. Tapestries hung from the banister, depicting moments in his life in a display of colors and symbols. In the center of the room was a ring of gold, with sword and bow inscribed in the middle. The throne was just as large and magnificent as the rest of the room, made of gold and silver with strange runes carved into the side. A trio of open windows behind the throne, sunlight shining through and causing the entire room to shine.

Even Goro had to admit the room was breath-taking, the beautiful and rich display of extravagance. Loki’s mocking laughter pulled him out of his momentary daze, and he composed himself quickly.

“It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?” Loki purred. “A throne fit for a king, no?”

“......what is this?” Goro said carefully. 

“It’s yours,” he said. “A room from your heart, little prince, built for you, by you.”

“I’m not sure what the purpose of this is, pretty as it may be,” Goro stated. “Why did you bring me here? What is the point of this?”

Loki sighed, stepping more into the room with Goro hesitantly trailing behind. 

“I thought you would have figured it out by now, but alas, I suppose I must explain it to you.”

Loki stopped in the circle in the center of the room, and looked back at Goro on the other side of the golden ring. 

“You have been chosen for the throne. The old king is dead, and his crown and kingdom go without a ruler. His kingdom will die in a few days time….but you are presented with a choice.”

King? Crown? What in god’s name was he-

The God of Control.

Oh.

_Oh no._

“….Yaldabaoth.”

Loki grinned at the revelation of his master. “The crown is without a head, and currently, you are the only candidate for such a position. The power is ripe for the taking, and your hands are the only ones that can truly execute your justice.”

The God of Control is dead and gone, and his power is wild and obtainable. But why did it fall on his shoulders? He had stepped back from his position as the “Detective Prince” after the arrest of Shido, citing “personal reasons” (somehow the public was able to get a hold of Shido’s account about Goro and his blood relation to him, and it had been a PR shitshow ever since). The public was going to quickly move on from him onto the next celebrity, whoever holds their attention long enough. It was fine, he didn’t care what they thought anymore. He was far from the most praised celebrity. That position had fallen to the Phantom Thieves. If anyone were to become a god, it’d be Akira. He certainly had the power to become one.

Goro certainly hadn’t reached out for it. He hadn’t so much as thought about it since the twenty-fifth. His mind had been preoccupied by the many, many problems that arose in the wake of the False God’s death and Akira’s following arrest. Maruki wasn’t even in the city, so it wasn’t as though he was a threat. He had no real reason to worry about it.

And yet, here he was, being told the role of godhood fell on his shoulders.

“I didn’t reach out for it,” Goro said after a long pause. “I shouldn’t be here.”

“You shouldn’t, and yet here you are,” Loki said. “You cling to every word your little thief said, and yet you forget that he told you directly he was rather unsure of how the False God’s power transferred to others. He has already subconsciously rejected the crown. He never wanted it to begin with but you….”

Loki pointed to Goro with a smile.

“You have not. All eyes are on you, little prince.”

“My social standing is not nearly as high as others. I am not worshipped in the public eye.”

“Yes, but neither was the doctor,” Loki said. “He wasn’t known at all, even in his own field. However, he was able to reach godhood regardless. Do you know why?”

Maruki wasn’t at all known by the public. By all accounts, he shouldn’t have reached such power. Even if he reached for it, surely he would need some kind of idealization. It should have gone to the Phantom Thieves, yet it was passed on because-

_“Akira.”_

“Yes,” Loki purred. “Your little thief thinks the world of you. He loves you, adores you, _worships_ you like the holy and beautiful deity he believes you are. Even from so far away, his heart is in your hands still. Such blind devotion….he really is just like my Sigyn.”

“So that’s it then?” Goro said. “This is just your bid for power? Really, Loki, I thought you were smarter than that.”

He was only met with a scoff and bitter sneer from the persona.

“Arrogant, stupid little prince. I come with information and offers and I am met with insults? I did not bring you here for some desperate grasp for power. I am here to help you.”

“Help me?” Goro repeated. “Tell me, how does taking the role of a tyrant help me at all?”

“You’re only as much as a tyrant as you allow yourself to be,” Loki said with a huff. “You’re still unsatisfied with the stasis of the world. You are furious still. Even with Shido in jail and the False God dead, the world is still unjust. The hero was punished, even after all he’s done for humanity. There is no justice for him. The world moves on without a care. You are unhappy with the state of the world, but you feel powerless to change anything. There’s no point in rolling the boulder up the hill if it keeps rolling down once you reach the top, correct?”

His words held some truth to them. The world was still the same ugly, horrid place it always was. Shido was behind bars sure, but nothing had truly changed in his eyes. Akira certainly didn’t deserve to be jailed after all he’s done, but it’s only temporary. None of this meant he wanted this kind of power. Remaking the world in his image….Yaldabaoth’s lies meant nothing anymore. They were all just false promises, a pipe dream of an angry child. This kind of power was not meant for humans, it only led to disaster, Akira had told him as such.

Goro didn’t say anything as Loki continued. 

“But it’s no longer a pointless battle. Do you think Shido is the only one who exploited their stasis at the detriment of others? Do you think that he is the only one that causes such anguish? Do you think you are the only discarded bastard child of a whore and powerful man?”

Goro felt a burst of rage burn in his gut, clenching his hands into fists.

“My own sense of justice has been fulfilled. I don’t care what happens to the rest of the world. I’ve completed my mission, and everything beyond that no longer matters to me.”

“Lying? To me? Quite a bold move,” Loki teased. “You are angry at the injustice still dealt to you, to _him._ The world has not changed. Akira is being punished, isolated and alone and it’s not right. It’s not justice. After all he’s done for the world, it still rejects him. You are still unsatisfied. You may have even convinced yourself that you are, but you are not.”

“Does it matter?” Goro hissed. “Akira will be back in two months time. His record will be cleared, and this will finally be over. I’ve never been satisfied with the world, and it’s not my job to change it. My role has been fulfilled. I’m not some hero of justice. I never have been, and I won’t exploit this power to attempt to become one. I’m not like Maruki, or any of the other deluded fools who fell for the same draw of power.”

“You aren’t like any of them, true….” Loki said. “After all, you are one of the Tricksters of fate, a Wildcard. You are made for such a power. Yaldabaoth was a fool, but he was right on one thing. You have an unimaginable amount of potential. If there is anyone in the world that can wield that power, it’s one of the Tricksters. You are the one who has the entire world in his hands, you can shape things into your image of justice.”

“Enough of this!” Goro shouted. “This is insane! I won’t play this game any longer. I’m not some power hungry tyrant, and I’m not some self-righteous fool with a messiah complex. I’ve made my choice. _I don’t want this.”_

Goro turned his back to the persona, beginning to leave the room before Loki’s voice rang out once more.

“Fine. If that is your choice then I will not fight you on it. But do give me the benefit of answering a single question.”

Goro paused in the doorway, before sighing and turning back to Loki.

“What?”

“What do you think will happen to Shido’s accomplices?” 

Goro thought for a moment. “He’s ratted plenty of them out. They aren’t going to get away unscathed.”

“And what of the corrupt police officers? Such as the chief? Or those in charge of interrogation that laid their hands on so many innocents? On _Akira?”_ Loki questioned, taking a step forward. “Or those that have enough false evidence to have deniability? Or the ones he never had direct contact with and does not know? Or those who skipped town the second Shido received his calling card? Or those who have connections in high places? Or the ones with enough money to simply get away with all they’ve done? What do you believe will happen?”

Goro did not have an answer. Shido’s confession surely would be enough, wouldn’t it? The God of Control was no longer influencing their minds, he wasn't controlling the public’s mind anymore….but still, Shido’s influence reached far outside of Yaldabaoth’s doing. The corruption of the police and those in power had run deep for years now. He’s seen this scenario play out a hundred times. 

“You know what will happen. They will slip out of any consequences for what they’ve done. They’ll continue on living their horrid and rich lives and spend their days continuing what they’ve always done. They’ll find a new target, a new victim, or maybe….” Loki paused for a moment, meeting Goro’s gaze. “Maybe they’ll attempt for revenge. The Phantom Thieves have been trouble for many, and having such a valuable asset such as Shido lost….it’s only natural they want some kind of vengeance. And with the leader of the Phantom Thieves’ identity now known….well, I don’t need to explain what happens next.”

Goro couldn’t find the words to respond. He’s seen it happen before, witnesses that refused to stay silent that were beaten into submission, or tortured until there was nothing left to say or permanently silenced with a bullet to the head. Or even worse, those that had caused enough trouble to anger those in charge. Their deaths always lasted the longest. Goro has been on the opposite end of more than he’d ever like to admit.

“You do not have to make a choice now,” Loki said in Goro’s dread-filled silence. “The Metaverse will disconnect from your own reality on the first of the new year if a new ruler is not chosen, so feel free to take your time in deciding. I ask you to come meet with me once again, I have much to tell you still. You won’t need a silly little app to enter. I don’t need to tell you where it’s located.”

Loki met Goro’s hollow gaze with a smug grin. “I think it’s time for you to return to the waking world, little prince.”

He snapped his fingers, and everything went dark.

* * *

And he woke up.

For a few moments he’s disoriented and confused, unable to keep up with the sudden change in realty. He stopped, and sighed after realizing where exactly he was. Loki you fucking asshole-

Goro sat up slowly, trying to ignore the ache in his bones as he looked around his empty apartment. The first few streams of sunlight were beginning to spill over the city skyline, causing the world in a haze of blue and purple. His apartment was freezing, even with two layers of blankets and clothes he could still feel it seeping through skin. They still haven’t bothered to fix the fucking heater yet.

Goro sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his face, trying to clear the residual headache from the dream. He took a moment to steady himself, before standing and walking out of his room into the rest of the apartment. There were blankets haphazardly thrown over the couch, and the chess board laid out on the coffee table as it had been for at least a few weeks now. He hadn’t been home much in the past month or so, and he hadn’t really cared how the place looked anymore. It wasn’t like anyone was visiting. He really should clean. 

But he chooses to put it off for now.

Goro somehow managed to make coffee in his half conscious haze. He was barely able to take a sip of his drink before deciding it tasted like muddy rainwater and wasn’t worth the trouble. The awful bitterness of the coffee lingered as he poured it down the drain. He can never make it right.

There’s curry in the fridge waiting to be reheated in the microwave, but somehow he can’t bring himself to do so. He wasn’t hungry.

Of course the universe wouldn’t give him a break, even now. There was always something or someone in the way, and now it’s quite literally himself. The Metaverse was clinging to him like a lifeline, which wasn’t far off to what he was at this point. No kingdom can survive without a ruler, and no one was willing or able to take the crown. _Except for him._

God damn it Loki! Couldn't leave well enough alone, could he? Couldn't just let the Metaverse die like it was supposed to? Just had to pull him into his palace and ruin what hopes he had for the future? Just tempt him with a unholy power that will only make things harder? What the hell was he supposed to do now?

It should be obvious what to do next. Goro didn’t want this. He should just let the world vanish into nothingness and just go back to….well, whatever the hell his life was now. It should be easy, just go through the motions of school and work for the next few months until Akira was cleared from all charges, and then….

And then what?

Truthfully, he hadn’t thought about what would happen next. The entire year was overwhelming and intense, it had his complete and utter focus that he hadn’t much thought of what his life would be after. He was more focused on making sure he didn’t die. 

Akira would come back in February, his record clean and they could finally rest. At least, until he had to go back to Inaba in March, which meant they only got a month together before he had to leave back into that god forsaken backwater town, back into a town where his family ignored his existence and he had no one, nothing. He would have to wait until he graduates to come back to Tokyo, _an entire year._ That would make two months look like nothing. That is, of course, if nothing went wrong.

No one would be stupid enough to go after him, right? The city was a dangerous place, and a small town in the middle of nowhere would be much safer than Tokyo, but it’s only a train ride away. All it took was a single man with too much rage and enough patience to try and take revenge for things to go so wrong. The police would be useless. Even with a clean record, it’s not as though the stigma surrounding him in such a small town, there was no way they were going to help him if anything went wrong. It’d be one thing if he’d have someone other than the damn cat watching out for him, but there was no one there that could really protect him. His parents didn’t give two shits about him, and it's not like he had any friends to back him up if things went wrong. Akira could protect himself, sure, but if someone really wanted him dead, it wouldn’t be hard. This wasn’t the Metaverse, there was no magical being or teammate to have his back.

Goro shook his head. He was making himself paranoid. What were the odds of someone actually going out his way to try to get his name, track him down after he got out of prison, and head all the way to Inaba to get some kind of false idea of vengeance? 

~~_Goro was willing to do all that and more, just to obtain some kind of false sense of justice for a woman that hated his guts and hung herself._ ~~

_Dammit Loki._

Goro had thrown on his coat and scarf and before he could register his own actions, he was out the door of his apartment and into the bitter cold morning air of the city.

The subway was scarce of people, which was rather unusual, but he was silently thankful that there was less chance of being recognized. He really didn’t have the patience to deal with any paparazzi or so called fans of his at the moment. Time always seemed nonexistent down in the subway system, whether a few hours or a few minutes. It drove him mad at times. The quiet murmurs of the exhausted patrons still half asleep heading off to work was enough to keep away the silence and stop him from stirring with his thoughts for too long. 

The sun had begun to peak over the high reaching glass structures when he finally stepped out of the subway. The streets are blissfully quiet as he walks through the city. No one gave him so much as a second glance as he pasted them. Somehow, it made him both relieved and uneasy.

The market was empty as it always was. That’s why Akira liked it so much, because no one really wanted to go here, he could be alone. For a long time, being alone was the only time he could truly exist without consequence. At least, until Goro came along.

He walked the plaza without a true idea of where he was going. Most of the shops were closed due to the holidays or just beginning to open with the new day. There’s no indications of where exactly the bleed in between worlds would be, but he knew that sometimes these things worked on instinct, no matter how frustrating it may be. It was a subconscious pull, waiting until he spotted the right angle of sunlight, or heard the faint sound of a river, and he followed it. The world began to change and twist into something much nicer, the rundown buildings turning into structures of marble and gold. The brick morphed into a wine colored carpet and the walls twisted into shelves full of worn, ancient books. 

Goro found himself standing alone in the massive library, one of his own making if Loki was to be trusted. The shelves reached to the high ceilings above, with at least three separate open floors of books of all kinds. Spiralling staircases led up to the floors overlooking the bottom, painted of gold and black. It took a moment of stunned wonder to remember where he was. This was the kind of place he would dream of as a kid, a gigantic haven of fairy tales and fiction. 

“Oh, you’re here already?” A familiar voice called from behind him. The voice was much lighter and kinder than Loki’s, but so false and sickly sweet it made him nauseous. “I am not sure what Loki must have told you, but it must have been very convincing.”

He turned to meet his second doppelganger of the day. This one was dressed in a white tunic, lined with gold. An emblem of red was in the center of his chest. The _RH_ surrounded by a splash of blue that dipped down to the red and silver belt. Twin gold epaulettes rested on his shoulders. His sleeves were white with red and gold lining, leading to a pair of crimson gloves. A flowing blue cape hung from his shoulders, resting just above the floor. His pants are white with a lining of gold and red. His boots were colored white. His hair was longer as well but shorter than Loki’s, pulled into a loose ponytail instead of the trickster god’s own braid.

“Welcome back!” Robin Hood beamed at him. Goro scowled, taking a step away from the golden eyed man in front of him. 

“What do you want?” Goro hissed. “Where the hell is Loki?”

Robin was unphased, giving him a pleasant smile. “You’re with me today. He’s already said enough for now. It’s my turn.”

“Your turn?” He growled. “I’m not a toy to be shared or argued over. I can make my own choices, and I certainly don’t want to be around _you.”_

Robin hummed. “Well, that’s your choice. If you don’t wish to speak with me, you don’t have to. This is your palace, after all.”

Robin chuckled and gestured to the world around them. 

“If you wish to know what I have to say, then I will tell you. If you do not wish to, I won’t. It’s all up to you.”

Goro glared at the persona, who met his intense gaze with a friendly smile. He looked like such a sweet, kind person, the type to help old ladies across the street. A perfect noble, the personification of the ideal prince.

God, it’s disgusting. 

“Why are you here?” Goro said. “I’m not….you’re not me anymore.”

Robin physically flinched, a flash of something dark appearing for just a brief moment before the smile returned, noticeably more tense. 

“Ah….I’d be careful when saying those words if I was you. You don’t want to say that to the wrong person, lest we have a….well, I simply suggest you be careful with your words.”

Goro doesn’t know what that means, but somehow he knew Robin’s warning wasn’t one to be taken lightly. 

“You know what I mean,” he snapped. “I’m not like _that_ anymore.”

He had only stopped being the lovely ‘Detective Prince’ only a few days ago, but truthfully, he hadn’t wanted to be that in a long time. The world may still perceive him as the righteous, humble detective he’s known for, but he surely didn’t see himself like that at all. He’s far more Loki than he is Robin Hood.

Robin chuckled again, like he was a child asking some obvious question. It only served to piss him off more.

“You’ve dropped your false face, true, but that has no bearing on my existence. I still am, and forever will be a part of you.”

Goro felt the irritation build in his gut. As if he had any fucking right-

“A part of me? What kind of bullshit saying is that?” Goro spat at the persona. “You were built out of lies, and I’m done pretending to be anything like you.”

“Built on lies, huh? Hm….” Robin thought for a moment. “I suppose that’s partially correct. Half truths still count as lies, in a way.”

“Half truths? What the hell are you on about?”

Even with Goro’s harsh tone and clear disdain towards the persona, Robin’s posture was formal and proper, and his smile never wavered. 

“Don’t you remember my original purpose? Why I was made in the first place?”

~~_He’s fifteen and he’s suffocating. His collar is too tight and the lights are too much. He can’t keep pretending like there fucking blood on his hands, like he hadn’t killed an innocent man yesterday. He kept telling himself it was a shadow but the thing had begged BEGGED for it’s life and Goro ignored it. He’s smiling and all eyes are on him but god he’s going to be sick. He forces himself to swallow down the bile in the back of his throat and says something that makes the crowd laugh and he hates every second of it-_ ~~

Goro narrowed his eyes. “I had just started to gain traction in the public eye, and I needed to play the part. It was….May, I believe.”

Robin shook his head. “Close, but not quite. I did not mean my awakening, I asked about when I was made in your heart.”

“Is that not the same thing?”

“No, they are not,” Robin stated plainly. “As you know, personas are shadows. Shadows can appear from anyone, but those that can not only wield but control them are rare. A persona is awakened when them and their masters are finally in sync, are finally as one. Everyone is born with their shadow. From the second their soul comes into existence, and even long after they are gone, their shadow persists.”

“I know this already,” Goro hissed at his twin. “Get to the point.”  
“A shadow is with someone from the moment they are born and they are with them until the moment they die. Those with the ability to have multiple shadows are nearly impossible to find, maybe four or five every century. There’s the core shadow, the one with them from birth, and then there are those that are born from other reasons. It is dependent on the person, sometimes it’s their desires or their emotions or their bonds with others, but a shadow is formed regardless. The only thing more rare than someone who has multiple shadows is someone who can tame these shadows and awaken them as personas.”

“.....I see,” Goro said. “You are speaking of the moment you existed as a shadow.”

“Yes, the moment I was formed in your heart. Do you remember why?”

Goro let out an annoyed sigh. “How am I supposed to know that? I have no memory of when or how you were formed.”

“Of course you do,” Robin argued. “You remember it clear as day. I should know.”

He took a step towards Goro with a fondness in his eyes.

“She had come back from a bad night at work. You had stayed up all that time just waiting for her to come back. She was so tired, and was half ready to scold you for staying up past hours your bedtime, but she didn’t have the heart to do it. She had promised you a bedtime story that night, and you had picked out a book at the library specifically for her to read to you….”

_Her voice is soft and sweet, almost perfectly hiding her exhaustion as she read. He’s sitting on her lap on his bed, and her cheek is resting on the top of his head. Her arms are wrapped around his waist, covered in subtle bruises and marks that made their way past the makeup. He doesn’t say anything about it for a long time, not wanting to interrupt a story and make her sad again. She always gets sad when he asks about her job._

_“You got hurt, Mama,” he says after a while, pointing to a partially nasty splotch on her arm. He’s too blunt, too smart for his own good. She smiles at him, but it’s shaky and unstable._

_“I’m ok, I just tripped again!” She laughs, but it’s humorless and forced. Her grip around his waist tightens._

_“Clumsy Mama,” he says with a giggle, even if something doesn’t sit right. It’s enough to make her smile, and that’s all he wanted. “It’s ok, I trip a lot too.”_

_She kisses the top of his head instead of responding. She looks so sad, barely able to keep her eyes open for what little attention she could give her only son._

_“When I get big, I’m gonna make sure we don’t get hurt anymore,” he continues in her silence, because he means it. He wants to make her happy like she makes him. He knows that the other parents whisper about her like they whisper about him, even if she doesn’t say anything. He wants to keep her safe from the bad men at her work. “I wanna be a hero! I’m gonna keep you safe!”_

_“A hero, huh?” She says, looking at him like he was her whole world. “Hm….I don’t know. I don’t think you can be a hero when you’re older.”_

_“What?!” he says, his heart dropping. “Of course I will!!”_

_“You can’t be a hero in the future, because you already are one,” she says with a laugh, soft and genuine and so her. “You’re my hero.”_

_He goes from nearly crying to absolutely beaming. “No Mama! I mean when I’m bigger and stronger! I’m gonna be so strong I can protect you!”_

_She stops, looking even sadder than before, and for a moment he wonders whether he’s doing something wrong. But then she pulls him into a tight hug. A soft noise, something akin to a sob escapes her throat._

_“Mama….?”_

_“You’re so good, you know that? You’re so perfect. I don’t know what I would do without you. I love you so much, Goro.” Her voice shakes, but her grip could only be seen as affectionate. Worry sits at the back of his mind, but the joy he feels at his mother’s words outweighed it by a mile. He wiggles his way around to face her and gives her a big hug of his own._

_“I love you too, Mama.”_

Goro doesn’t speak for a long time. He doesn’t trust his voice not to break. Robin’s face was unchanged, patiently waiting for his response. Goro didn’t need to say, and Robin didn’t need to explain. They both knew.

“That was a lie,” he choked out. “It was all lies.”

“Perhaps it was,” Robin said calmly. “But it doesn’t change anything. Your desire was one of earnestness, even if one of a child that did not truly understand the gravity of his words. You wanted to be a hero like the ones in the stories she read to you. You wanted to be someone she could be proud of. You still do.”

Goro swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. 

“It was all lies, that’s all it ever was!” He shouted, louder than he meant it to be. His voice echoed off the walls of the palace. “None of it was real! Those desires, those emotions, all of it was built on some false ideal of the world! This isn’t some fairytale where the hero saves the day and gets their happy ending! And I would certainly not be the hero of this tale. I’m the monster for god’s sake! I ruined her life! Every would have been fine if I-”

His voice cracked.

“She’d- she would be horrified, she would be disgusted if she knew what I had done! After everything I’ve done, she wouldn’t even be able to look at me. She would never believe that her son could turn out like-”

A choked sob escaped his throat. destroying what small ounce of dignity he had left. His hands fell to his sides, defeated.

“There is no redemption for me, even if I believed there was. I will never be the person she needed me to be.”

Robin was silent for a long time, face neutral and unchanging at his master’s outburst. The silence that fell over them could drown him.

“The world is a rotten place, full of awful, ugly monsters,” he said finally. “You’ll never be a good person in this kind of world. But you want to be.”

He spoke in a flat, confident tone, as though he was stating a known fact. Goro remained silent as he continued.

“You have the option to change it. It does not have to stay like this. It can be exactly the world you and her dreamed of so many years ago, but you have to be the one to make it so. You have the choice to save people, fix your mistakes, and redeem yourself in a new world. One of your own creation. You are the one that has to do it. Neither of them are here to guide you now. It’s all on you to do some actual good.” 

Robin took a step forward, meeting face to face with Goro’s own. 

“If you want to be the hero, then you must create a world where you are one.”

* * *

Goro dreamt of his mother that night.

* * *

He woke late into the afternoon. There’s a brief moment of conditioned panic before realty set back in. No work, no ridiculous and humaniting interviews, no school, no “assignments” from Shido…..He was not required anywhere for the first time in a long time. He had no places to be, no appointments to worry about. He wasn’t needed.

It was a strange feeling.

Goro went back to the palace that day. He half debated on going to the Leblanc for a moment, he hadn’t actually had good coffee in weeks now, but he decided against it. He doubted any of the Phantom Thieves would ever want to see him, and while he wasn’t sure what Sojiro’s stance on him was, he’s sure at this point it wasn’t positive. No, it wouldn’t be beneficial for anyone for him to just show up.

It didn’t matter anyway. It wasn’t as though his mind (see: _Loki)_ would simply let him go about his day. There were no distractions but too many at the same time. The air was too cold, the food didn’t taste right, the city was too loud and too quiet. The fog from sleep hadn’t cleared, and it wouldn’t clear until he found himself at the entrance to the shopping center, and the world morphed into something unrecognizable.

He was outside this time, standing in an outdoor garden built in something akin to a balcony or roof. The garden overlooked the world beyond, showing rivers, forests, mountains and other castles before it had begun to change back into Tokyo. A fence of red and gold was the only thing separating him from the sudden drop to the forest floor below. The garden itself was not exactly large, at least in comparison to the rest of the palace, allowing him to see the small oval door that he could only assume led him back into the grand hallways from his position at the edge of the area. Flowers and ivy were all around him, growing in an almost wild fashion and climbing the fence and up the side of the walls. Curved, metal benches sat in the mess of wild grass The plants waved softly in the quiet wind.

Goro shielded himself from the glare of the sun as he looked around the garden. His other self wasn’t hard to spot, but seemed to remain completely disinterested in him even as he approached, much more interested in the book in his hand.

This one wasn’t as glamorous as the other two, dressed in black leather armor with a splotch of red in the shape of a rune he must have seen somewhere, but can’t quite say from where. He wore a belt with red, worn pouches tied to it. A torn, tattered cloak hung off his shoulders and moved softly in the wind. Wherever there wasn’t armor was cloth or padding to cover up any skin that would be showing. His boots reached just below his knee, colored black with an underside of crimson. His face and hair remained unchanged, save for the gold where the color wine red should be. He was sat on one of the benches, completely engrossed in the tale in his hand. Goro wasn’t sure whether he should say something or attempt to get his attention, he wasn't even sure he wanted to, so for a few strained moments they sat in silence.

“It’s the Divine Comedy,” Hereward said eventually with a sigh. “Alighieri has some….odd ideas but they are interesting nonetheless. A thousand years and so much written….”

“Why are you here?” Goro said. Hereward didn’t seem amused, shooting the detective a glare.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

They stared at each other intently for a moment, before Hereward closed the book with another exasperated sigh, setting it next to him.

“The interior is too much at times. I prefer the outdoor setting. It’s quiet, much more calm.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know what you meant.”

Goro let out a sigh and rubbed his forehead with his gloved hand. “Don’t you have speech or reasoning on why I should take the power the universe has given me? Something about protecting what I hold dear?”

“There’s nothing I have to say that you have not already thought yourself. There’s no point in it. Leave me be.”

“Then why am I here?”

“It’s _your_ palace, why are you asking me?” Hereward said. 

“You have domain over this place just as much as I do,” Goro countered. The persona let out something akin to a snort.

“Who told you that? Was it Loki? You should know he’s full of shit,” Hereward said. “We have enough control to change appearances, but you are still the ruler of this palace. We are subservient to you as long as we are still your personas.”

Was this some kind of hierarchy? And Goro sat at the top? Where would that put the rest of them?

“Don’t think about it too hard,” Hereward said in place of his thoughts. “Nothing has changed truthfully. We simply take a physical form as long as the palace remains.”

“Then why am I here?” 

Hereward sighed in annoyance. “You’re only here because you chose to be. You can be anywhere in the palace in an instant, appear anywhere you choose. You are only here because of some decision or choice to appear in the garden where I am currently at, consciously or not. Perhaps you want to hear what I have to say, even if you’re not fully aware of it.”

“Fine then, go ahead,” Goro said, vaguely gesturing to him. 

“As I’ve said, there’s nothing I have to say that you haven’t already thought before,” Hereward rolled his eyes. “There’s no point in it.”

“Humor me,” Goro said, knowing full well the persona couldn’t say no to him. “You have an opinion do you not?”

Hereward shot him another aggravated glare, but eventually relented, gesturing for Goro to sit down on the bench next to him. Goro hesisted for a moment, before sitting on the edge of the bench. The persona didn’t speak for a while, leaving them both in the peaceful quiet of the garden. 

“I don’t care much for the power,” he stated plainly. “Loki and Robin Hood are far more interested in using it than I am. Their own wants and goals….it doesn’t mean anything for me. They have their own reasons for this.”

“And your own?” Goro inquired. 

Hereward paused for a moment, thinking. “I am a manifestation of your emotions towards Akira Kurusu. My goals, my interests, my thoughts, my entire _existence…_ .it all surrounds _him._ Everything beyond that is unimportant to me, truthfully.”

“That’s a rather pathetic existence,” Goro commented bluntly. “You’re damned to be a love-struck fool for the rest of my life.”

Hereward wasn’t fazed by his words, giving him a half hearted shrug. His eyes were distant, staring off into the expanse beyond the garden. “Perhaps, but I can’t bring myself to care. He is my everything, quite literally. I was born out of your own incredibly intense emotions, so it’s your fault if we’re being honest here.”

Goro let out something akin to a short laugh. He has always felt very strongly, or nothing at all. A strange balance between indifference and foolishness.

“I miss him,” Hereward continued. “It hurts to be near him, and yet it is even more painful to be apart. Nothing felt missing before you met him, but now that he’s gone again, there’s a void in place of where he usually is. The days are dragging and it feels never ending, but it’s only been four days. But it’s four too long, and it’s suffocating. He should be here in your stead, and you know that. It would be easier if he was the one who walked free, knowing he would be in his rightful place as the one who gets to wake in his own home, the one who can walk around Tokyo with no repercussions, the one who actually has friends and family that would miss him and a world that wants him. It’s not right-”

He stopped, catching himself before he went off on something they both already knew was true.

“It’s _painful,”_ His voice was strained, yet steady. “It’s burning type of bliss every time he smiles at you, or every time he laughs at his own stupid jokes, or the way he tries to steal kisses when you’re not looking, or how fucking beautiful he looks in battle or when he’s asleep in your arms....He’s too good for us, too good for anyone but still, over everything he chose you. Over and over again, he chose you. And it hurts but feels like heaven every time he kisses you and tells you he loves you. He wants you, and you want him. God, you want him more than anything, even if you don’t deserve it. You would kill for him, if he so much as asked without any sort of hesitation. The feeling paradoxical, the most selfish and selfless thing in the world. But that is simply the form your love takes. It’s what I am, suppose. All I will ever be.”

He spoke so fondly of Akira, like he was the persona’s whole world. In a way, he was. A being born out of emotion, of love. As cliche as it sounded, that was all Hereward was. Goro didn’t say anything, as he didn’t need to.

“I just want him to be ok,” Hereward admitted, a tense somberness gracing his features. “I was made to protect him, to keep him safe. There’s no guarantees in your world, no safe corners with teammates by your side or Metaverse to unwit someone with too much money and too much influence that will jump at the opportunity to get some kind of misplaced revenge. Inaba alone is too far to ever know if something goes wrong, no one will care if anything happens to him anyway, and Tokyo is a cesspool of disgusting people, even with you there….And there’s simply nothing you can do about. Akira can defend himself fine, I know but….”

He trailed off.

“Do you believe that this power will keep him safe?” Hereward asked. “You would have complete control over the public's cognition….no one could ever even think of hurting him, and those who wanted to….they’d be dead or comatose before the sun rose. Even still, it’s in my nature to worry. Can you tell me that you would do everything and anything to protect him?”

The request itself was pointless, they both already knew his answer. But still, it felt almost as a necessity for a verbal confirmation. 

_“Anything,”_ Goro said, because it was the truth. Akira was such an anomaly in his life, his equal and his partner but also his opposite. Someone that was willing to give themselves up for the sake of the world, and someone who would destroy the world for their own self-centered gain. They were contradictory, on opposite sides of the war but somehow they won. Everything they had should not exist. ‘Paradoxical’ was the word Hereward used. Akira had his heart, and Goro is left wishing for a man that was never supposed to be his. How easy it was to fall apart over simple desires. 

Hereward stared at Goro for a moment, piercing golden eyes meeting unwavering red ones. The silence of the garden was still and unbroken, until Hereward let out a relieved sigh. He looked off into the expanse beyond the garden, half lost in his own thoughts and half present in the universe.

“Then, you have my input,” Hereward said quietly, whatever uncertainty in his voice long gone. “Do what you must to protect him. If you must rewrite the fabric of the world to do so, then so be it.”

* * *

Goro returned the next day.

Loki was there to greet him this time, crooked grin still plastered on his face. This part of the palace was different from the others. It appeared as an intersection for a number of hallways, creating a large circular room connecting the different halls. In the center of the room was a massive tree, or at least, a small portion of it. The top of the tree reached far into the open sky, entirely visible due to the lack of a ceiling over the room, the leaves and branches above swaying slowly in the wind. The tree extended beneath the floor as well, but he could not see much beyond the golden floor. How far did the base of the tree go down? Did it go beneath the palace? There was so much of it he hadn’t seen yet-

“You’re thinking too hard,” Loki commented. “Come.”

“What is it?” Goro asked, eyeing the gigantic plant.

“The center of the universe,” was all the explanation Loki offered. Goro simultaneously understood and didn’t. His eyes fell on a set of twin doors in the curves of the tree, with a pair of painted crossing swords over it in the same colors of the palace. Loki’s smirk widened upon noticing Goro’s stare. “Do hurry up, little prince. You only have two more days before this is all gone.”

Goro glared at the persona, but followed Loki to the door. The persona stood to the side, waiting patiently with a smile. Goro hesitated, before he placed his hands on the doorknobs and pushed the entrance open. 

The inside of the tree was surprisingly hollow, despite the plant looking very much alive from the outside. Dozens of sets of staircases twisted and climbed the empty expanse of the tree, leading to god knows where. Sunlight impossibly poured in through the cracks and curves of the tree, illuminating the inside in an almost heavenly glow. He stepped out onto the small marble platform, looking out over the sight before him. There were three different staircases leading from it, all to what he could only assume different parts of the tree. His footsteps echoed through the silent open space, only being occupied by Loki’s just moments after. He stole a quick glance to the expanse below the platform. The bottom of the tree was nowhere in sight, extending beyond into the darkness. 

Was this some kind of traveling point? Allowing him to access different parts of his own palace? Perhaps even to different parts of the Metaverse? Or was it some kind of maze? Why was this at the center of his palace? What was Loki getting at?

He turned back to the trickster god, waiting for whatever direction or explanation from him. But all Loki did was gesture to Goro with a devious smile.

“You know where to go, little prince.”

Had this been any other time, he would have had some kind of annoyed and snarky comeback about how Loki was the one that brought him here, that he was the one that wanted Goro to know whatever it is that the persona was trying to cryptically get across, that he isn’t in the mood for playing these kind of games, but he could only nod, because in a way, he did know. Something deep within his bones that pulled in him one direction over the other. Somehow, he knew exactly where he needed to go.

Goro chose the staircase to his right, the one that descended far into the darkness below and followed it wherever it led. Loki trailed behind silently, following Goro down the almost endless twisting staircases. 

The stairs seemingly went on for eternity, existing in a space outside of time. No matter how far he traveled down, the light never waned. It was strange, ethereal, and impossible, but it wasn’t at the forefront of his mind at the moment. He passed by other doors, leading to unknown places of familiarity. They didn’t matter right now.

Sometimes in the lower parts of the tree, he stopped in front of a door. It’s an ancient, rusted metal door that looked out of place in such a gorgeous palace. Goro grabbed hold of the handle and hesitated for a moment, before pulling it open and stepping into whatever was beyond.

It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dim red of the world he stepped into, one of tracks and shadows. He was in the…..Mementos? Hadn’t it collapsed with the death of Yaldabaoth? How was it still here? How-

He’s thinking too much about it. 

Goro turned back to Loki, who’s form had reverted back to his more monstrous form. 

_“No control over this domain,”_ He purred, as he vanished back into a mask. _For now,_ goes unsaid, but they both hear it in the spaces between his words. _“Let us go, little prince. So much to do.”_

Goro nodded, turning back towards the distorted subway tunnels. His clothes had changed from his street clothes to his Metaverse outfit, solidifying his place in society’s opinion on him in his own mind. Savior or not, the world was biased against him still. 

The tree’s gigantic roots grew and interlaced with the walls and ceiling, breaking the dreary stagnate normal state of the Mementos with an otherworldly being. ‘Center of the universe.’

Goro moved down the twisting halls of the subway without a true idea of where he was going, simply following whatever instinct that was leading him where he needed to go. The shadows ignored him, or even avoided him as he traveled further down the endless tunnels. He paid no mind to it, glad to not have to deal with whatever blood hungry shadow decided the wandering human looked weak enough to try it’s luck. He knew where he was going somehow, like a kind of lost instinct he had finally regained control over after far too long.

After a long period of traveling down the winding hallways, Goro found himself at the beginning of a dead end hallway. The hallway was void of shadows, knowing far better than to get between Crow and whoever or whatever he was after, save for one.

It was in the form of a man, one in his late forties and dressed in a sweaty and unkept uniform of a low level police officer, barely worth the few thousand yen he’s paid an hour. A man who spends his night off drinking himself into a stupor so he doesn’t have to think about how he wasted his life on pretending to be the prime example of an upstanding citizen, like he isn’t wielding his power over people like he had any right just to himself feel like he mattered in his shithole of a world. Never grew up past sixteen, living in the mentality that he is always going to be on top as though he’s worthy-

 _“Stupid fucking brat!”_ The shadow version of Saito hissed at him, voice full of anger but unable to hide the primal fear he was clearly displayed in his face. He backed up a step, looking something like a cornered animal still trying to keep it’s pride. _“The hell makes you think you deserve any of the recognition or praise, huh?! You’re just a fucking kid with a pretty face! It’s not like you’ve done any actual work, you just had daddy get everything for you-”_

Goro’s claws find themselves wrapped around the pathetic shadow’s face, stopping the thing from speaking more viles lies. Of course the man recognized him, he’s probably worked with him before. Another of Shido’s lackeys, paid off to come up with false charges and arrest those who went against the man, paid to beat the life out of innocents and petty criminals alike, making them confess to crimes they weren’t guilty of, and he enjoyed every second of it. It made him feel powerful, crushing bones under his heel and watching them beg for a mercy that wasn’t coming, only to bring down harsher blows. The man is shaking in his hand, no stupid enough to move and risk tearing his face on the claws. He looked about five seconds away from pissing himself, no longer able to keep up the threatening authority facade in the face of danger. He couldn’t help but smirk at his cowardice, feeling Saito tremble in his grip. 

“What? Go on, tell me what you’re trying to say,” Goro said, his voice as kind and sweet as he can muster. “Never worked a day in life? Never actually known any real struggles? Just another fake cop celebrity for teenage girls to fawn over? Does that sound about right, _officer?”_

Goro dropped the shadow, taking pleasure in watching the pathetic thing attempt to scramble away from him, only for it’s back to hit a wall.

“Your ‘experience’ over me, right? I can tell you, whatever you have been doing in the past wasted thirty years of your life doesn’t mean shit in the long run. Shido may have given you a brief purpose in life for a short amount of time, but truthfully, it means nothing. You’re nothing more than another moronic corrupt cop that likes the feeling of making others feel weak so you can feel strong, like you matter.”

Goro took a step forward, pulling his sword out of it’s sheath. The shadow flinched, fully understanding the danger it was in but being unable to do anything about it. Blood, or something akin to it, had already begun leaking from the gashes from the detective’s claws.

“Now that Shido’s gone, your existence has gone back to being meaningless, but in actuality, it never had one to begin with,” Goro brung the sword up under it’s chin. “Do you really think anyone would really notice if you were gone? It’d take a week at least. The neighbors might complain about the smell or maybe someone at the police department might notice that the local drunkard has been missing for longer than the usual blackouts and might go looking, if it’s not too much of a hassle. You might get a funeral, if you’re lucky, but it’s not like anyone other than your coworkers would come, and that’s only out of obligation. They sit through it, begrudgingly mind you, before moving on to go look for a new replacement and going back to work. You’ll be placed in a cheap grave because none of still living relatives was willing to spend enough to get you anything special, and you’ll be forgotten. The world would continue on without you. That….that would be justice for everything you’ve done.”

 _“I-I was just doing my job!”_ The thing tried to defend itself. _“They were criminals! They didn’t mean anything to anyone-”_

“Really?” He couldn’t stop a bitter laugh from escaping his throat. “You’re a liar and you know it. Your job was to protect people, and you _failed._ Those people you broke, locked away and killed, they were mourned over. They had people that loved them, cried for them, cared about them, which is much more than you ever had or ever will be.”

The sword dug into the shadow’s throat, drawing more of the thick red liquid from it’s tears in it’s skin. It was terrified, no longer wanted to upkeep his selfish pride in the face of death. 

_“Please….you can’t-!”_

“I can, and will. Don’t worry, your fate isn't an uncommon one, and it'll be nothing compared to some of your colleagues. Consider yourself lucky you never laid hands on him. But don’t think you’ll be given something quick….I’m going to make these last moments of yours the most painful.”

The shadow didn’t have time to make any sort of protest or plea. It barely had time to register Goro’s actions before the sword split open his throat and spilled into the pools of disgusting crimson onto the dirty floors of the Mementos. The mimic of blood seeped into the floor, into the collected minds of the public and absorbed by the roots of Yggdrasil until there was nothing left, no blood or bones or flesh of the echo of a man, now returned back to the mass of humanity taken shape. Saito would follow his shadow soon after. He’d be dead by morning, but for now he swallows a handful of pills with a bottle of whiskey, and then another, and then another until his stomach explodes and his body gives up. He doubts anyone will notice until weeks into the new year.

Goro didn’t feel the slightest bit of guilt. In fact, it was almost liberating to be the one to end the pathetic thing’s life. There was no one behind this decision, no orders from Shido or obligated moral responsibilities from the Phantom Thieves, this was all him. This was his own choice, his own justice. The death of the corrupt man was by him and him alone. 

Goro smiled as he watched the body of shadow decay into nothingness. For once in a long time, he finally felt proud of himself that wasn’t clouded in self hatred or the dull sickness in the back of his throat. This man deserved this, to die alone in his disgusting apartment by his own hand and left to rot. It was nothing in the long run, there were far bigger assholes out there doing far more damage than this one, but it added a little more of the balance had been restored, a little bit of justice had been done. Things were as they should be, even for a moment. Goro stared at the space where the shadow used to be for a long time, before Loki’s voice in the back of his mind broke the silence.

_“Very good, little prince….Your justice has been served well. Let his death be the first of many.”_

It would be. There was so much more that would be done, so many more lying, corrupt bastards in the world that needed to be taken down. There was no Phantom Thieves or perfect group of superheroes that’s going to fix the world into some pretty paradise, no amazing and pure heroes to punish the wicked and corrupt. There’s only him, and he’s far from the ideal person for this role. He was a nothing if not another product of this world, a monstrous killer with a hypocritical sense of justice. It was almost comically ironic, the villain of the story to be put as the mantle of just god, but it will have to be enough. Goro is the only one who can do any sort of good in this world with this power. He can make sure that bastards like Saito or Kamoshida or Okumura or Shido can ever act without consequence again, no gods to use humanity as pawns their pointless games no matter the cost, no more otherworldly being thinking they can control people like him or Akira for their own gain, no more people made to be like Goro.

It would be a waste- no, it would be unjust to let the evil go unpunished. He may have been ruined by this world, may have done damage that can ever be repaired, he’s already beyond redemption….

But wouldn’t it be nice to be the hero for once?

* * *

The eve of the new year brought with it streets of people, gleefully lining up to catch some glimpse over the fireworks that will come at the strike of midnight. An explosion of colors to illuminate the night sky to signify the end of a new year, or the birth of a new one. 

It’s a miracle that Goro survived this long. He had never expected to live past eighteen, it didn’t matter to him what happened beyond the day he brought Shido down, and yet here he was, alive and a promise of a future. No one outside of a select few knew about the ugly side of his career and those who he can’t kill won’t speak of it out of fear for being prosecuted themselves. He can continue being a detective if he wanted to, his reputation was still in tack (if anything, he’s gotten more praise since Shido’s confession) and he can work well without any kind of support from the bastard. He had money, work, a new goal, and eventually, he’d have Akira home as well.

That kind of life doesn’t sound so terrible. 

No one noticed him weaving through the crowds. They were far more focused on the coming events of the night. Goro couldn’t remember the last time he was excited to see fireworks, he couldn’t have more than seven. The celebration of the new year was never something he understood. It felt pointless to rejoice over another year survived. For him it was just a countdown. But now, it signified something else; the tipping of the scales in a way.

He entered through the throne room. By choice this time. He has more control over the palace, of himself. He’s always been a fast learner. Loki was there to greet him again, back in the form he made. Robin Hood and Hereward stood in the room as well, standing further back in the room and letting Loki take control of the situation at hand. The persona gave him a sly grin as the palace took it’s form in existence.

“It’s wonderful to see you have returned, little prince,” Loki said, clapping his hands together and taking a step towards the detective. “Have you finally come to your decision then? What have you chosen?”

As though he needed to ask. Loki _was_ him, he already knew the answer. He wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t already chosen. This was most likely for the theatrics the trickster god is so known for.

Goro pulled away from the persona. He looked up at the throne for a moment before letting out of sigh and nodding.

“Fantastic,” Loki purred. He placed his hands on Goro’s shoulders. “You have chosen to perpetuate your own sense of justice and true morality? To correct this world and rid it of the horrid scum that walks free?”

“Yes,” Goro answered flatly. Loki’s wicked smile widened at the affirmation, shaking the detective’s shoulders excitedly. 

“Wonderful! I can feel your resolve, my brilliant little prince. Not a sign of confliction or hesitation in your decision either! Nothing like the terrified child I was born from….” Loki said, like an older sibling doting on a child.

“Enough Loki,” He said, shoving the persona off. “This is the final day. Do we not have some other preparation or precaution to make? To perhaps prevent the death of the Metaverse once more as you consistently tell me?”

“Oh, but you already have, little prince,” Loki said. “You have already integrated yourself into the fabric of the cognitive reality by your own choice. As long as you hold the power in your hands, this reality will remain. You are now the bridge between the two worlds, and if you so chose, you will be the one to rewrite the core of both into one.”

Fusing the cognitive and the real world together….could he do that? Well, he knows he could but it still felt strange to have such control over everything. He had not had control over his fate in such a long time, never truly being the one to be in charge of his existence until now. Even during the past year, Akira was the one guiding him to safety at the end of the road. Yet, he held the entire universe in his hands. He could create and destroy the very fabric of reality at whim with no true rhyme or reason. No one could stop him. No one could even touch him, save perhaps for Akira. 

And Akira was too kind to ever think of hurting him.

“All you have to do is sit back and enjoy the celebration,” Loki continued. “Everything will be set in place at the beginning of the new year. You only have to wait.”

“That….seems too easy,” Goro said carefully. “Like any fool could become a god if they know what they're doing.”

Loki chuckled. “Perhaps, but you are no fool, right, dear Trickster?”

Goro couldn’t disagree with that truthfully. He was a Wildcard, a Trickster, an uncontrollable force of chaos that no man nor god could match. He was far from someone like Yaldabaoth, a deluded cruel beast of the public’s desperate mind, or Maruki, a self proclaimed messiah of paradise. He was better than that. He was made to be better than that. He can form his fate as the Trickster of Justice by his own choice, not bound to a prideful god or arrogant father. He was so much more than a tool.

Loki and the other two personas vanished in an instant, leaving Goro standing alone in the throne room. Well, not quite alone. They had simply returned to their place within the detective’s heart. Everything was centered, synced, harmonious, just as it should be. He could feel the world under his skin, interconnected like thousands of nerves that extend outside of his body. Thoughts, ideas, feelings, memories, regrets, desires, and _everything, everything was here all at once feeding into his conscious mind and it was chaos and it was his-_

Goro stopped to collect himself. The cognitive world was overwhelming, but he could control himself. He wouldn’t let himself get lost in the collective minds of the world. He could keep himself grounded.

He moved to the outside of the throne room, to the exterior of the palace. The balcony offered a perfect view of the setting sun of the world beyond, one that was slowly merging into the forest and mountains in the distance. The sky was painted in mixtures of crimsons, golds, violets and sapphires as the light began to fade over the horizon.

Time in the Metaverse was almost something that was nonexistent. Minutes blurred into hours and hours into seconds. The sun was setting over the city skyline just moments ago, and now the sky had been absorbed into a pitch black abyss with not a star in sight. Goro could hear _could feel_ Tokyo’s crowd of people collecting in the square, the parks, the balconies of hotels and apartments and rooftops of buildings, watching the news coverage from the dingy little TVs in the living room, from the parties with groups of drunken fools, from the groups of rebellious teens sitting the park just happy to be alive, from a too cold cell on the other side of the city. From the eyes of a shivering boy straining to look out the window to see the sights he should be able to, unable to sleep with a mixture of dread and anxiousness for a twist to this ending, a twist that will never come because of his partner, his rival, his lover. Rebellion burns bright in his heart, but it must be subsided for now. Only a few more weeks, he tells himself, and then everything will be ok. He can’t convince himself that is the truth, paranoia getting the best of him but he clings to hope like a naive child. He wonders, absentmindedly, if his partner is thinking about him, worrying about him probably, thinking he’s an idiot for agreeing to this, hoping he’ll come home soon. Is he going to watch the fireworks? Or would go on another tangent about how stupid was to celebrate such a small thing, probably go on about how surviving another year is something that isn’t worth being so excited about. He smiles fondly, using the promise of a lover back home waiting for him to return, worrying and caring about him even so far away. Wasn’t it sad to be comforted by only the thought of being cared about? Wasn’t it sad to believe it was a selfish thought? But a promise was all he had to hold on to, and it was enough to keep him warm for now, no matter how much his heart ached.

The strike of midnight brought an explosion of colors to light up the night sky, bringing with it a round of cheers from the crowd in Tokyo. Couples pull each other in a celebratory kiss and those that don’t have a partner take a drink, whether to have fun or to drown out the jealousy and pain from another year alone, children that stayed up all night to watch from the TV jumped and cheered over an event they don’t fully understand. Some sleep through the event, having work in the morning or having fallen asleep waiting for the show or simply not caring to stay up long enough to see the new year. One watches from his prison alone, wondering if his lover is awake under the same sky.

From a strange palace outside of reality, Goro watched the fireworks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slaps the fic* this bad boy can fit so much norse mythology, religious symbolism, and madoka magica plot lines. No I will not take anything out im fitting it all in.


	3. Ambrosia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beginning of the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day folks! I'm SO fucking sorry this took so long. I have no excuse for why it took me like four months but thank GOD it's done! BUT on the bright side, me finishing this fic lined up PERFECTLY with February fourteenth. I swear I did not plan that but the gods have blessed me tonight.   
> 37K words this time :)  
> My Tumblr is also Danidoesathing so if you wanna come say hi, please do!  
> ANYWAY please enjoy I spent so much time on this.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?!”

No one spared so much as a glance at the distressed shout from the strange girl in blue. The crowd moved past her as though she didn’t exist. Because, truthfully, she doesn’t anymore.

It was easy to sever the ties to room between consciousness and unconsciousness. It wasn’t as though there were many to begin with, the few living persona users that had access to the Velvet Room still were found without much effort, and their connection had been weakened throughout the years due to lack of use. The Velvet Room did not need them anymore, and their bond was discarded by the attendants and their master. They no longer needed their living wildcards, it didn’t matter how powerful they were or how much they gave up for the cause, for being another piece in the game between the two gods for humanity. Their use was no longer needed, and they would most likely never enter the Velvet Room again. The room would always be just out of their reach.

Goro had simply made it permanent.

Truthfully, he had done them a favor. Even if they were pulled back to the Velvet Room, they would only be used to and discarded once it’s over. They were nothing more than pawns to creatures of the realm, playing their roles in the god’s stage play of humanity. To sever the ties was a mercy to them and all those that were destined to be another part of the game.

But of course, the little attendant would never be happy about that. 

Lavenza glared at him with as much cold fury as she could muster. Still, the fear and worry still slipped through the cracks in her facade, undermining whatever confidence she was attempting to portray. She was weakened here, barely able to even appear in this reality, let alone fight. She wasn’t stupid enough to do anything more than try to intimidate him. Which, even now, she was failing to do. 

Goro glanced at her over his shoulder for a moment, before he turned around to face her.

“I do, but I assume you’re going to tell me regardless of what I say. So please, enlighten me.”

“You’ve disrupted the balance!” Lavenza cried. “You’ve torn apart the universe for your own selfish desires! What do you have to say for yourself?”

She was talking to him like he was a child, like she had any sort of authority over him. Goro didn’t give her the response she wanted, only offering her a blank stare as she continued.

“The delicate balance between good and evil of the world has been destroyed! The connection between us and this reality is nearly nonexistent. You have pulled the Trickster out of my reach, I cannot reach the rest of them-”

“No need to state the obvious,” Goro finished for her. The crowd on the sidewalk began to wane as they spoke. “I’m not as much of a fool as you and your former master believed me to be. I knew your first move upon seeing the state of the Metaverse would be to make an attempt to contact ‘your’ Trickster and whoever else your kind had their claws sunk into. You don’t think the first move I would take would be to make sure you wouldn’t be able to interfere and disrupt his life again? Really, Lavenza, and I thought you would know me better after three years. That would be almost insulting if it wasn’t so laughably pathetic.”

Lavenza narrowed her eyes. “You have no right to unravel the fabric of reality and remake it in your own image. This power does not belong to you, _Trickster.”_

“Oh, it doesn’t?” Goro said, not bothering to hide the malicious glee in his voice. “Tell me then, why did you let such a dangerous power go unchecked and obtainable to anyone with the right amount of knowledge? If you know how destructive this godhood can be, having witnessed it first hand, why did you do nothing to stop it?”

That caught her off guard, causing her to falter for just a moment too long. Goro let a subtle smirk appear on his face. 

“Did you expect Akira to handle it if things went wrong? Let him fix everything just as he always does for you?” Goro asked. “As though _you_ have any right to take more from him. Has he not given enough to you? Was killing one god not enough? Does he have to _die_ for you as well?”

Lavenza couldn’t hide the subtle flinch in her posture. The wounds were fresh still. 

“I would never ask that of him,” She stated, trying to come across as unwavering as possible. 

“Unless it was a necessity of course,” He said. “Because if the universe called for it, the attendants wouldn’t think twice about sacrificing his life for your so-called greater good. One person’s life should not outweigh the rest of the universe, right?”

He chuckled, but it lacked any humor. He almost asked whether or not his death was worth it, if he saved the universe by choking to death on saltwater and blood, if it was an ‘unfortunate necessity’ in defeating the False God that was right under her nose, but he doesn’t. She wouldn’t know even if he spelled it out for her.

“Your attempt to confront me only reinstated the importance of my action,” Goro continued. “You don’t care for us outside of our uses to you and your master. You needed us to survive until the game was over and the False God was killed. Anything beyond that did not matter to you. If returning the world to it’s former, unaltered state meant dragging Akira from a reality where he can finally rest and destroy what little hope he had left, then so be it. It’s not as though his happiness matters in the grand scheme of things, right?”

“Do not attempt to justify your actions by claiming this is for the Trickster’s benefit!” Lavenza shouted. “This is all for your own selfish gain! You rewrote the world as you see fit because you simply desired to do so! You are no god. Do you know what will happen now? We will not be able to stop any threats to the human race any longer! If something were to happen-”

“It won’t,” Goro stated plainly. “Whatever ties or gateways that were open or were to be opened no longer exist. I would not be foolish enough to allow threats to this reality to continue to persist. Neither of them can reach this world any longer, I’ve made sure of that. The gods and deities that were fated to kill and destroy humanity do not, have not, and will not ever exist.”

Lavenza’s eyes widened, probably in shock that he would actually succeed in the one thing her kind have been attempting to do for centuries in less than a week, or perhaps she’s so surprised that he would be the one to fix the problem, the selfish, destructive failure of a Trickster being the hero for once. Caroline’s headstrong ignorance seemed to transfer over to her as well. 

“In fact, the only reason you can exist here is because I’m _allowing_ you to. I am your last link to this world. As far as Akira knows, he’s done his job and you never have to contact him again. The rest of them think the same, and the ones Igor was planning on using are going to go through life never knowing the path they almost went down, so the only one that you can truly appear to is me.”

“What are you-” She started, but she stopped suddenly. She stumbled forward, and looked up at Goro with wide fearful eyes as the reality of the situation seemed to finally set in for her. Goro offered the girl nothing more than a subtle grin.

“Lavenza, you really don’t have to worry about this world any longer,” Goro said. “Creatures and deities such as Yaldabaoth can no longer exist. The game of humanity’s fate has been discontinued. There’s no more need for the Velvet Room to be in contact with this world and the Metaverse if all it would do is cause more problems for the all three. This world will be altered and fixed into the way it was supposed to be, make it as it should be. There’s no more need for tricksters and saviors and messiahs. The world can simply exist without the threat of destruction, from the inside or out.”

He knew full well this was not meant to bring her any sort of reassurance or comfort, instead it was meant to twist the knife further. Goro was in full control of the situation, he had the entire world in the palm of his hand. She had nothing to argue with, no way to stop him and the fact that it was him, the False Trickster chosen by the tyrant god Yaldabaoth was the one to save humanity from itself and the hundreds of other threats. He was the one that saved the day, he was the one that fixed the world. It was all him, and there was nothing she or anyone else could do to change it. It was all _him._

Lavenza couldn’t exist in this world without him. Even now, she only persists because he was allowing her to exist within the small bubble he left untouched just for her. It was bitter, cruel, and simply just for his sick sense of amusement at the girl’s despair, but truthfully, it was the closest bit of justice he can inflict onto her. She was a failure, to both him and Akira. She was supposed to guide them to their victory, she was supposed to help them finally reach their full potential. But instead she aided the False God and actively sabotaged their progress. She was compliant in their abuse and the horrid state of the world. She didn’t care about how cruel and unfair it was to them, as long as her _master_ ordered it, she would do it. She failed them.

“Thank you for your service Lavenza,” Goro said after a long pause. “But it would be better for all involved if you went back home. You’re no longer needed.”

Lavenza looked at though she wanted to protest but she didn’t say a word. She couldn’t. She reached forward, trying her damndest to stay in this world, but it’s not enough. She’s there for a moment, and then the next she is gone, as though she never existed to begin with. And by all means, she didn’t. The people passing by her in the streets never so much as blinked as the mysterious girl vanished into nothingness. They simply went about their day, uncaring or simply unknowing of what had just transpired. The last tie to the room between consciousness and unconscious had been served, and no one had even given them a second glance.

Goro waited for a moment, staring at the spot where the girl had once stood. He smiled to himself as he turned back, and went about his day.

* * *

Akira was anxious the entire train ride back to Yongen. He wasn’t even sure why he was as nervous as he was. If something was wrong, he would know by now. Lavenza or Goro or just someone would have contacted him by now. Everything would be fine once he got back, no threats of Maruki or Yaldabaoth or whatever other monstrous shadow decided to make an appearance and fuck everything up. He’ll see once he gets to the cafe. Everyone is going to be waiting for him. It would be fine.

If only this train ride wasn’t lasting forever.

This timeline had been weird, everything was so different and out of place that it always threw him off. Which was a good thing, a great thing even. This one was successful because of how different it was from the rest. It was a mess of new experiences and emotions that had long grown stagnant by now. It didn’t feel normal, but he guessed that was why everything worked out so well.

The entire two months was spent thinking he made a mistake, that Goro was going to turn on him the instant he had the chance like he always had. It was expected, at this point. You can only get betrayed so many times before it becomes routine. But Goro also had a habit of surprising him, and god, did he really go out of his way to surprise Akira this time. 

It’s not as though Akira hadn’t thought about him in a romantic sense before. Just look at the guy, no wonder he was a teen heartthrob to teenage girls across the country. And then there was…..whatever they had the first time during Maruki’s palace. He couldn’t call it a friendship, hell he couldn’t even call a partnership. A rivalry, according to Goro. An understanding, according to Akira. It was a whirlwind of unstable and underexplored emotions on both sides, and neither of them really could afford anything more. He’ll never really know what Goro was thinking about him, truthfully, he could only speculate about why exactly he felt his life was worth nothing, or whether he ever viewed Akira as anything more than a forced burden to deal with for the sake of his freedom.

But with Goro now, it was so much different. It was established from the beginning what they were, partners, acquaintances, friends, Tricksters, something more than that, lovers (god, they were in _love)._ He hadn’t really known Goro was ever interested in him until that kiss, bloodied and half conscious. Maybe he should have picked on it sooner, but he had no doubt if he ever said anything it would have just pushed Goro away. Akira himself hadn’t even known he felt that way then, always telling himself to not get ahead of himself, don’t even entertain the thought because it’s only going to cause problems. 

But then Goro kissed him to the point of near suffocation, and all sense of rational thought went out the window. He can’t remember the last time anyone made him feel that way, made him feel loved and wanted rather than needed, but Goro had found a way to do all that and more. He remembered the fury on Goro’s face when he talked about the interrogation plan back in November, how he had looked angry and upset and guilty for god’s sake. He remembered how much the detective worried about him, fussing over his wounds in battle or if he had remembered to eat that day. Even if Akira told him a thousand times that he’s the leader of the Phantom Thieves, the great Trickster that saved humanity about a dozen times by now, he can take care of himself, he couldn’t say that he didn’t like being doted on. He liked the subtle in-jokes only the two of them understood, or the way Goro would play with his hair when he thought Akira was asleep, or the way he had held him during winter, not holding judgement in his eyes but love, love! Akira would laughed in your face if you had told him that Goro Akechi would ever be that kind to him, but apparently the universe finally took pity on them and gave them what they both needed without either of them knowing they did. 

Thank god for the Reaper.

The train screeched to a halt suddenly and Akira practically jumped out of his seat as the monotone voice overhead spoke. _“Now arriving in Yongen-Jaya.”_

He rushed out of the train before anyone else got the chance, getting some scorned looks from some passengers but he didn’t care. He had someone waiting for him at home. The Phantom Thieves would be waiting for him too, he hoped. It’s been a long time since he got this far, so he couldn’t quite remember what happened next, but he knew there was supposed to be a ‘welcome back’ party at the Leblanc. Morgana would come back shortly after, and then he could actually get some food that wasn’t poorly cooked slop. He could actually hang out with his friends and walk around the city again and see Goro again, he could be free again, if only for a month.

The winter air was surprisingly much more comfortable than he expected, less of the bitter cold he was used to. It was pleasant, unusually pleasant but nice nonetheless. He doesn’t think about it for too long, quickly moving down the streets of Yongen with a purpose, whether to alleviate his worry or to satiate his desire to his friends again. 

Stepping into the Leblanc brought with it a rush of relief and excitement as the thieves greeted him happily, quickly getting off topic about something Akira wasn’t really paying attention to. Sojiro chuckled and muttered about how they hadn’t changed, placing a hand on his shoulder and commented that he was “glad to have him back” before heading out the door. Akira couldn’t say that didn’t make him smile a bit as his guardian stepped out. 

Morgana came back quickly, and Akira feigned surprise at his arrival, which wasn’t hard as the focus was mostly on the (not) cat and his tale of returning to the real world. Akira’s hundred the story about a dozen times by now, knew the words by heart as he listened, stealing glances at his phone when he could. There were about a hundred unread messages from different confidants, all of them sending well wishes or requests to hang out soon before he leaves. They aren’t the ones he’s looking for, but he suppose he should be grateful having so many people worried about him.

Akira doesn’t know if he should ask. Would that just kill the mood? Everyone else was here, even Sumire, but he didn’t know whether or not it’d be a good idea. Maybe Haru or Futaba or someone asked him not to come? Had he just forgotten which day it was? Maybe he had work or something. He shouldn’t have expected Goro to drop everything just because he’s back. He has all month to see the other, it’s not like he needs to see him right away. It’s fine, he didn’t need to constantly-

The quiet ring of the cafe door was enough to pull him from his momentary haze. Akira glanced behind him, being greeted by a very tired looking Goro with a shopping bag in one hand. Ryuji’s face turned into a sneer as he stepped into the room.

“Oh look, the prince decided to finally make an appearance.”

“If I could make the trains go faster, Sakamoto, I would,” Goro said as he moved next to the booth Akira was sitting in, waving his hand slightly to indicate for him to move over in his seat. Akira did so, and Goro sat down next to him. He pressed up against Akira’s side with as much space as the booth could allow, and gave him a soft smile. “My apologies. There was a delay in the train I was on. Really should have just taken a cab, but I was able to get what I needed for this. Here.”

Goro doesn’t even give him the chance to respond as he placed the bag right into Akira’s lap. He blinked in a bit of daze and looked into the bag. The bag contained different kinds of snacks. Chips, chocolates, sweets, gummies, candies, and only took a few moments to realize that they were specifically _his_ favorite kinds of snacks. The colorful chocolates from the shopping market, the phantom thief themed snacks from Shibuya, those stupid angel tarts you can only get once a year (but he was forever a sucker for), those weird cookies from Junes (had….had he gone all the way to Inaba for this?) Akira looked up at Goro with a raised eyebrow, who eventually sighed.

“The food in the Juvenile Detention Center doesn’t exactly have a great dining selection, which I knew would be quite an ordeal for someone like you. I thought you would appreciate having actual food once you returned.”

Akira stared at him for a moment, before letting out a chuckle.

“And you call me sentimental,” He said. Goro made a face like a pout, but too proud to let it show.

“It’s called thoughtfulness, not as though I’d expect you to understand,” Goro tried to counter, which didn’t do anything but cause Akira’s smile to grow wider. “At least I have the decency to at least offer some kind thanks for such an action.”

“No you don’t! You always say ‘no time for thanks’ like you didn’t just spend more time-”

Akira’s words were suddenly cut off when a hand turned his head to face Goro and a pair of lips on his. It was quick and over in a moment, but it was enough to leave Akira in a stunned silence as Goro grinned smugly.

“I suppose that should be enough compensation for now.”

Akira felt his cheeks heat up as the rush of momentary excitement was replaced by embarrassment that Goro would do something like this in front of the entire group without a second thought. They didn’t exactly try to hide it from the rest of the thieves beforehand, but they weren’t this oververt about it. It was an unspoken agreement between the both of them to wait until all this was over. But Akira hadn’t thought he meant the moment he came back, yet Goro was always one for surprises.

“Jeez, enough with the PDA already!” Ryuji groaned suddenly. “Get a room already.”

Goro got a glint in his eyes, and gave the blond his most prized shit eating grin. 

“You are free to leave anytime, Sakamoto, but I am here to spend actual time with my boyfriend after nearly two months. I will kiss him whenever and wherever I please.”

Akira would be lying if he said his heart hadn’t skipped a beat at the casual use of the term boyfriend, even if it was true. The word just felt so inmate and grounded compared to the other terms they had used to refer to each other in the past months.

Morgana seemed to take notice of Ryuji’s embarrassment and jumped in with his own comment. “It’s alright, Ryuji, not all of us are as lucky to have someone special in our lives~”

“The hell is that supposed to mean?!”

The snide comments between the two went back and forth as the attention of the group was brought away from the couple.

The night continued on just as he thought. Jokes, stories, joy, laughter filled the cafe and Akira couldn’t be happier. This was it, this was the ending he had been fighting for so long for. The world had finally turned out like it was supposed to. After years and years and years, he did it. His friends were all here, all together again just like old times, and now he had Goro here, leaning against him. He won. Finally, he won.

Akira must have gone too quiet at some point, watching the rest of the group, and it caught the attention of Goro. Ever the detective.

“Everything alright?”

Akira was a bit taken aback by his unusual attentiveness, but it wasn’t at all a bother. But something about him that had changed, even if slightly. Suddenly, Goro had a hand on his knee or interlaced with Akira’s own, or he would kiss the other on the cheek in such a sweet way…..like something normal couples would do, in front of thieves no less! The sudden public affection was unusual when they wouldn’t even hold hands in front of others before….It wasn’t at all a bad thing by the least bit, but it caught him off guard.

“Yeah it’s just….you seem different,” Akira said hesitantly. Goro raised an eyebrow. “Not like in a bad way! I’m glad you’re here, and I really am grateful for this, I don’t even remember telling you about half of this stuff. But….did something happen while I was gone?”

Goro paused for a moment, before he closed his eyes and sighed. 

“No, I simply….did some introspection. Being on my own gave me some time to….reevaluate myself, and what I truly wanted for the future. The past few years I was only focused on revenge, and then our plan, and after that….I needed to exist on my own for a while. I took the time apart to focus more on what I wanted, to make sure this was what I really wanted.”

Akira felt worry begin to creep into his bones, even if there shouldn’t be. He knew Goro wanted to be with him, otherwise he wouldn’t be here. He wouldn’t bother. This wasn’t like with Sumire either, Hereward and Sigyn was proof enough. 

Goro seemed to take notice of the silent panic somehow, and took Akira’s hand in his own gloved one. 

“As much as I hate to admit it, the cliche line of ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’ rings true. I….missed you more than I care to admit. I never doubted that I love you for a moment, Aki. The time apart was needed, however…” He ran his thumb along Akira’s hand. “I am glad it is over. Two months is more than enough for me.” 

Akira felt his heart flutter and smiled fondly at Goro, who responded with his own.

“And, if you were to pull any kind of disappearing act again, I will personally track you down and kick your ass,” he said, but his smile betrayed his words.

Akira let out a soft chuckle. “Aw, I’d like to see you try.”

They both couldn’t hold back their laughter and share a loving kiss. Goro moved an arm around his waist to pull him closer. None of it felt real after all this time, like a dream. He had spent so many years trying to get to this point, fought gods and demons alike to get this happy ending. Everyone was here, everyone was alive and ok and happy. Goro was right next to him, smiling and _alive._ After so much time, he’s here and his arm is around Akira’s waist lips were placed on his. It didn’t feel real, but the laughter ringing through the cafe was real, the person next to him was real, the hand on his was real, the warmth in his chest was real. 

Akira closed his eyes and leaned his head onto Goro’s shoulder as a voice from the back of his mind spoke.

_“Congratulations, my dear Trickster. You’ve finally won.”_

* * *

The fact that Akira has to go to class the day after he got back is the definition of absolute bullshit, but _technically_ it’s better than a prison, so he could suffer through a day or two. Plus it was nice to see Yuuki and Ms. Kawakami again, who both seemed excited to see him as well.

It’s not as though he was paying attention anyway, as he kept checking his phone for questions and requests to hang out from the different confidants. How nice it was to be wanted.

His phone buzzed in his hand under the desk. Another message.

**[Goro]: Do you have any plans for tonight?**

**[Goro]: I would like to be able to spend the day with you without the presence of your friends, if you don’t mind.**

**[Akira]: aw, got some valentine’s day plans ;)**

******[Goro]: Oh is it the fourteenth? I had forgotten.**

 ******[Akira]: aren’t you romantic**

**[Akira]: boss has scheduled me to work until tonight**

**[Goro]: Ask for the day off then.**

**[Akira]: ok pushy lol**

**[Akira]: got something planned?**

**[Goro]: Does it matter?**

**[Goro]: I simply want to spend time with you alone.**

**[Goro]: I deserve some time without your band of idiots stealing your attention.**

**[Akira]: awww you jealous?**

**[Akira]: ok then. better have something special for me. meet at the leblanc tonight? like 5ish?**

**[Goro]: Fine. Don’t be late.**

**[Akira]: aasdafjkl?? i live there???**

**[Akira]: alright i guess, see you then <3**

The teacher at the head of the room cleared his throat.“Mr. Kurusu, do you mind telling the class the answer to-” 

“Forty-seven,” He answered without looking up. The teacher blinked in surprise, and Akira smirked to himself. He knew the teacher would be baffled and flustered because the delinquent who had been texting throughout the whole class was right, was always right. He doesn’t need to be taught something he already knew. So what if he wasn’t paying attention?

Akira smiled to himself as the teacher went back to teaching a lesson he wasn’t paying attention to, lost in his own head and plans for the future. He would have to make time for everyone before the end of the month, Goro included now, plus schools….and he has to make plans after that for visits once he gets to Inaba again.

But for tonight, he has a date.

* * *

Akira wasn’t surprised when Goro took him to the Jazz Jin that evening. It’s not like the detective had a lot of places that he truly felt comfortable in, outside of the Leblanc and the market, and most decent restaurants run the risk of being recognized. So, Jazz Jin it is. 

The place was empty, save for the two of them. Strange, you’d think everyone would want to go to such a quiet and beautifully atmospheric place would be packed on a romantic holiday. But Goro would never wanted to go somewhere packed, he probably would have gone to the Leblanc unless-

_He planned for this._

“When did this place start serving food?” Akira asked as the waitress set down what looked to be the nicest plate of dinner he’s ever seen, that looked like something that would take him a solid month of part time jobs just to afford.

“It doesn’t,” Goro said. “I…..called in a few favors for this. The owner usually closes on the fourteenth to spend time with his own partner. We have a rather friendly relationship and I offered him a decent amount to allow me to….rent it out for the night, sort to speak. As long the place is as I left it, then it’s fine. The catering is my doing.”

Akira must have had a strange look on his face, causing Goro to speak once more with a hint of agitation in his voice. “What? Is that a problem?”

“You….rented this whole place out, paid for food, catering, and music….why?” Akira asked, slightly baffled. Frustration crossed the others' faces, and he sighed.

“Am I not allowed to do something nice? It is Valentine's day after all.”

Akira wasn’t buying that. “You hate Valentine’s day though. You always say ‘it’s a vapid and pointless holiday that people use to try and pretend their lives have meaning’ or something like that. Why go all out when you hate it?”

There was a brief few moments of awkward silence before the detective let out a sigh. Goro ran a hand across his face, but Akira could see the pink flush across his face.

“I….I don’t know how to do this,” he quietly admitted. “It’s….harder than it looks. I thought this was what I was supposed to do. I have very little experience with what is expected in relationships. Expensive dinners and romantic music is what a boyfriend is supposed to do, is it not? I am attempting to be romantic but….I don’t know if I am doing this right. You always buy me thoughtful items and return with sweet gestures and I….don’t know how to do the same. It seems so easy for you, and I suppose it is. You’ve had experience as the ‘attentive and kind boyfriend’. Truthfully, it feels unfair that it comes so naturally to you….”

Akira blinked once, and then twice, and then a third time before laughter escaped his mouth. Goro’s face only turned a darker shade of red as he scowled.

“You find this funny? You always speak of the importance of communication, and yet you try to mock me-”

“It’s cute!” Akira interrupted him before he could go on another bitter rant. “That’s so sweet, Goro….You’re trying to be romantic for me~!”

He spoke through giggles, which Goro didn’t seem to find as amusing. “I am, Akira, and I’m still not sure what you find so funny.”

Akira waved his hands in the air. “No, no, I’m not laughing at you, I think it’s really sweet actually. I like it. It’s just….it’s cute, it’s really cute….you didn’t have to do this all for me, really. If you could take me to Shibuya or the Leblanc or Big Bang Burger for a date night and I’d be happy because I got to spend time with you. You don’t need to spend a lot of money on me or buy me stuff. I just wanna be with you, ok? You don’t have to do much more than that if you wanna make me happy.”

Goro stared at him, a fixed facial expression that met Akira’s own lopsided smile.

“You’re insufferable,” the detective said after a long pause. “I am the one attempt to be romantic in this situation, and somehow you overturn that by giving me the ‘I don’t care where we are as long as we’re together speech’. You don’t get to upstage my gesture with a few pretty words.”

Akira let out another chuckle. Goro huffed and crossed his arms.

“And don’t give me the ‘don’t spend money on me’ nonsense. If I did not want to go to such lengths to make you happy, I wouldn’t have. Whether you like it or not, you’re going to enjoy yourself and we are going to have a nice evening. You are allowed to have a night where you don’t worry about anything, and I’m allowed to spend as much money as I want on whatever I want, that includes you.”

Now Akira was the one to become flustered, feeling his face heat up suddenly. He knew that, of course, but it’s not like Akira ever expected him to want to spend so much money on him. He’s the one with all the yen from the past years, Goro shouldn’t have to spend so much when Akira had more. He didn’t need that much spent on him.

“It’s not a bother, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Goro continued calmly. “You don’t like people fussing over you because you don’t want to be an inconvenience to anyone. Well, I can guarantee you that whatever inconvenience you believe you cause is outweighed by the gratification you bring me. Spending thousands of yen means nothing to me if it means I could keep you by my side. To put it plainly, I enjoy going out of my way for you. Catching you off guard is rather entertaining, the face you make is….it’s hard for you to mask your reactions when you do, so I get to see your emotions without a filter. I won’t take any less than your full self.”

Was…..was this supposed to be Goro’s roundabout way of trying to comfort him? Through layers of his usual ‘I’m doing this for myself’ nonsense sure, but….Goro did care about him. He’s proven that time and time again, and Akira didn’t doubt that his feelings were true (once again, Hereward). It’s not a bad thing to spend a lot of money on your partner, hell Akira did it on the regular. But why did it feel wrong still? It shouldn’t be different because it’s him being treated, right? Goro is just trying to be sweet, and if he really didn’t want to, he wouldn’t have, but he rented out the enter club, got catering, and spent so much on him….it was a good thing. It wasn’t selfish to be cared for, it’s not selfish when people enjoy to care for you. If it made both of them happy, it was a good thing, wasn’t it?

“But, if you are uncomfortable with this, I don’t mind simply having a night in,” Goro said, interrupting his thoughts. “As you said, this is about the fact we’re together rather than what we do, no matter how stupidly cliche that line may be. After everything you’ve done, and everything we’ve been through….I want you to be happy, Aki.”

Akira paused for a moment, then two, and then a third. Goro met his stare with a stilted expression, but he could see anxiousness behind those crimson eye’s of his, only to be affirmed with he spoke again.

“Oh for the love of god Akira, say something.”

Akira closed his eyes, and slid off the chair without a word. Goro opened his mouth to say something stupid and self deprecating before Akira leaned down and cut him off with a kiss. He wrapped his arms around Goro’s, and pulled away to get a good look at the detective’s flustered face.

“You’re too sweet, you know that?” Akira said, pressing his forehead against Goro’s. “What did I ever do to deserve such a charming, attentive boyfriend?” 

Goro barely took more than a moment to recover, wrapping his arms around Akira’s waist and practically pulling him onto his lap. He looked up at the former thief with an unusually earnest expression across his face. 

“You’ve done more than enough, Aki,” Goro said quietly. “You deserve far more than I can give you, and for some reason outside of my comprension, you still chose me. We’re made for each other, and I won’t let this go to waste, I promise you that.”

Akira doesn’t get the chance to ask what he meant by that as Goro pulled him into another kiss, whatever worries his words might have stirred melting away in the comforting arms of a lover. Akira leaned into the kiss for a moment before he remembered exactly where they were and that he was practically straddling Goro’s lap. He pulled away even as the detective tried to pull him back down.

“Goro, Goro wait, we’re still at dinner-”

“Who cares?”

“I do! I’m hungry! And we’re still technically in public.”

Goro sighed, but relented, unfurling his arms from around Akira’s waist and watching him as he sat back into his own chair. 

“Fine, but don’t expect me to hold this restraint all night,” Goro said, hiding the amusement behind his usual serious expression. “I can wait until we get home, but after that I won’t hold myself back any longer. It’s been far too long since either of us had any time alone.”

Akira paused for a moment, before shooting his boyfriend a playful smirk. “Wanna bet?”

* * *

Akira really should know better than to test Goro’s patience after so many years. But Goro supposed he should also know by now that he was never going to let the detective off easy, despite his sweet words. Neither has ever been one to back down from a challenge, both too stubborn for their own good. Akira was the only one that could ever offer him any kind of challenge, the only one who acted with the same ferocity as Goro did. It’s one of the many reasons why he loved so much.

Goro was always one to wake up early, no matter how late he went to bed. Akira, on the other hand, could sleep through the apocalypse and still not wake up until noon. Though, if he gets more chances to see him like this, Goro couldn’t complain.

He looked beautiful when he was asleep. Well, he was always breathtaking, Goro could finally take him in without interference or running the risk of being mocked by his partner. He would stay here forever if he could, simply watching the other’s chest rise and fall slowly. Akira laid on his side, half wrapped in the blankets he’s been hogging all night and half uncovered, letting Goro truly admire the gorgeous expanse of pale skin illuminating in the sunlight, his chest and spine littered with off colored marks as evidence of last night. The golden rays streaming through the window shone off the obsidian curls settled gently on his face, and Goro had to resist the urge to brush one behind his ear. Long lashes rested on his soft cheeks, and Goro can’t help but wonder how he could ever think that Akira was an ordinary man. He’s heavenly, the beauty of a thousand gods encased in a single form. Goro would have scoffed at the thought a year ago, calling whoever became so love struck a damn fool, but a year ago he didn’t know someone like Akira even existed. He was a thief of hearts, and Goro was a slave to his charms.

Even if Akira didn’t know it.

Goro wondered how his past selves could have ever thrown the chance to exist by Akira’s side away. The former thief was all that Goro could even ask for and more, willing to bring him the vengeance he desired and the companionship, the _love_ that he had been craving for so many years. To throw that away was nothing less than plain stupidity, or perhaps in Loki’s words, arrogance. How many times did Akira die by his own hands? How often did his bullet tear into the soft skin? How often did his blade drain the life from him? How often did Loki tear a hole in the beauty and let his insides spill on the tracks of the Mementos? Did he kill him while he was vulnerable? While he slept or when he was drugged? Did he give him the chance to fight back? Was it quick? Was it painful? Did he ever hesitate? Did he hate himself for it? Did he simply not care about another body to add to his list of sins? Did Akira mean anything to him? Did it make him feel sick? Disgusted? Angry? Relieved? Did he _enjoy_ it? 

How reckless. How foolish.

Goro was different this time, thanks to him. He wouldn’t fall into the same pitfalls as the ones before him. He was smarter than that. Yaldabaoth had blinded him, tricked him into believing that Akira was the enemy, just like the rest of the world in those past timelines. Akira was the only reason he was still alive, still had a reason to be alive. Now, there was no Yaldabaoth to deceive, or Shido to worry about, no Phantom Thieves to outsmart or shadows to slaughter, or cops to pay off or corrupt politicians to force a smile for. No, now there was only Goro and Akira, and he would let the rest of the world die before he’d let anyone take his thief away from him.

Goro sat up slowly, taking one last grateful look over Akira’s sleeping before he pressed a kiss against his forehead. Akira stirred somewhat, but remained in the restful state. Goro paused, before shaking the other’s sleeping form gently

“Akira, Akira wake up.”

He let out a tired groan, trying to bury his face back into the pillow and pull the covers back over himself, before Goro pulled it back down with a harsh yank. 

“Moonnna fife more minuths,” Akira mumbled into the pillow as he curled in on himself. 

“I’m giving you a pass this time, _dear,_ but if you ever compare me to the cat again, you’ll find yourself waking up to the cold outside instead of me.”

“So mean….” Akira groaned, but eventually looked up at Goro with a tired smile. “Good morning, handsome.”

Goro scoffed. “‘Morning’? Hardly, it’s nearly noon.”

Akira blinked, the information processing slowly in his sleepy haze before it seemed to click. He shot up in the bed and lazily tried to push himself off the bed but stumbled halfway through. “Oh shit, why didn’t you get me up earlier?! We’re gonna be late-”

“Late to what exactly?” Goro said calmly. “Perhaps if you woke up earlier, you would have seen the message that the snow has caused the schools to close for the day. Frost had gotten into the underground and some of the pipelines had broken which caused some unfortunate flooding.”

Akira stared at him for a second, before falling backwards with a groan. “You did that on purpose.”

“Did what?” Goro said with an innocent smile. 

“Dickhead,” Akira grumbled and smacked the other’s shoulder lightly. “Why’d you wake me up then?”

“It’s nearly noon, dear. Whether or not we have obligations to attend to, it’s no excuse for being lazy.”

Akira pouted childishly, and poked Goro’s cheek. “You just want me to make breakfast.”

“Well, if you want anything other than cereal or reheated food, cooking would be the best option.”

Akira let out an over exaggerated sigh, and threw an arm around Goro’s waist. “Fine, but you have to cuddle with me for at least twenty minutes before I do, as payment.”

“For just breakfast? That’d only be ten.”

“Maybe, but I’m sore and it’s all your fault, so now it’s double.”

“And yet you still want to cuddle?”

“World cold, boyfriend warm.” He buried his face into Goro’s shoulder. “I demand love and affection.”

‘Boyfriend’ felt so strange to hear. It was such a childish ideal in his mind before, something he used to scoff at, but now it made his heart swell.

“What are you? Six?”

“Love me or starve.”

Goro kept his face still, but he could feel the edges of his mouth quirk upward ever so slightly. “Ten minutes.”

“Twenty!”

“Fifteen, and I get to pick.”

“Fifteen, and you carry me to the kitchen.”

“Deal.”

Akira smiled in some form of triumph, pulling Goro tight against him, who responded by doing the same. The former thief leaned into his touch, gray eyes bright and face flushed, whether from the cold or from Goro’s affection he couldn’t tell. His chest was pressed against Goro’s own, he’s heart beating in a gentle rhythm which kept him grounded in this world. This was it, this was his heaven; his lover in the arms, happy and safe and alive in their perfect haven. No obligations, no threats or worries. A lopsided grin across the other’s face, his eyes looking at him with such honest love that no one could ever doubt his emotions. He traced his hands over the soft expanse of his back, foreheads pressed against each one another’s, until one of them finally broke in laughter, and a warm kiss was shared between them.

This was heaven.

* * *

The phone call came a week later. 

Goro wasn’t simply going to let Akira be shipped off back to Inaba, somewhere he was rather vocal about despising, back to a family that didn’t care about him and would go straight back to neglecting him. He couldn’t let Akira go back to that home, he would only suffer for it. 

So, he pulled some strings.

Changing cognition isn’t as difficult as one would expect. It was simply a case of narrowing down who he wanted to change in the sea of minds, what he wanted from them, what he needed them to see and feel and want, and then simply _pull._

He had chosen guilt this time. He had debated on changing things, making his parents at least feel _some_ kind of affection for their only son, but eventually decided against it in the end. He wasn’t going to try and force a false sense of love between them, not when it was all a lie. An obvious one at that. Akira would know his own parents better than to believe they had a sudden and unmotivated change of heart. 

Goro would much rather kill them and get it over with, but he knew that it would more than likely cause Akira distress, even if he didn’t understand why he still gave a damn about them. They didn’t even bother to stand up for their son when they knew he was innocent, so why should Akira even have to worry about them? Goro couldn’t understand it. But it’s not his place to do something if it will only cause more damage to Akira in the long run.

So, guilt will work just fine.

The Leblanc was empty, save for the two of them, when the phone rang, interrupting their conversation about nothing. Akira didn’t show much interest in the call as he picked it up.

“Café Leblanc, how can I help you?” He answered in his ‘customer service’ voice. He paused for a moment, and his eyes widened a little at the voice on the other end. “Dad? Wait what are you- Hold on-” 

He glanced back at Goro for a brief second, his eyes holding something akin to confusion or worry, before he moved from behind the counter, tossing the apron on the counter haphazardly and rushing out the café door. He wanted privacy, Goro supposed. It’s the first time his parents called since he came to Tokyo, he probably thought that it was some kind of emergency. It’s fine, Goro doesn’t need to hear the conversation to know. 

Akira felt worry, agitation, frustration, then confusion, more worry, distrust, and so on. His parents on the other end of the phone, both of them, begging for some kind of forgiveness from their only son. Akira can’t get a word in, not that he needed to. His parents beg, plead that they will do anything to make things right for their “mistake” (it wasn’t a mistake, they threw away their child to a stranger). Akira doesn’t know how to respond, simply listening to what his poor excuse for parental figures have to say. Truthfully, they _should_ be begging for forgiveness a long time ago for exactly how many times they’ve discarded him for things that will never be important, but Goro doesn’t push it. Akira would grow suspicious if his parents were too guilty. Goro wanted to punish them fully, and had Akira not have any emotional investment in them, he would have. 

He had expected Akira to be angry, to feel a fraction of the fury that Goro had felt in his place. Akira should be pissed, furious even for what they’ve done to him, but he doesn’t. Often, he simply doesn’t think about his parents, or his hometown for that matter. It was simply easier to pretend they didn’t exist, and it was much easier to have him stay in Tokyo than for him to go off to a place where he isn’t welcome.

So, his parents are to beg for forgiveness by any means necessary, even if it means paying for him to stay in the city for as long as he wishes. It would be better for his education anyway, being surrounded by teachers that already got used to his grades and actions. If it would make Akira happy, then whatever it was will have been worth it.

Akira had remained silent throughout the call, his face still and unreadable as Goro watched him carefully through the glass doors of the Leblanc, until his parents finally asked for him to give them his answer for their offer. He paused for a moment, hesitating for some reason before he spoke.

“I….I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”

Both Goro and his parents were stunned into a momentary silence, before he grabbed a hold of the situation before anyone said anything they might regret. They say something akin to _‘of course, take all the time you need’_ and Akira responded with a quiet hum and rushed goodbye before he hung up. He stared down at his phone for a moment, then two, feeling something like….confliction? No that wasn’t right. It was something much more muted, duller than frustration but overwhelming, like being submerged up to your chest and feeling it rise slowly, but not knowing exactly what to do about it. Dread, but also relief. He did want to stay in Tokyo, and that should make him feel overjoyed. He should be happy that his parents are calling him, so why didn’t he….? 

Goro watched silently, still sat at the café counter, making sure to keep his face as unreadable as possible as Akira stepped inside. The barista had tried to keep his face still, but the unhappiness slipped through the cracks of his mask.

“Is something wrong?” Goro asked casually. Akira didn’t look at him as he moved behind the counter again and began to clean where it wasn’t needed. 

“Why do you ask?” He said, his voice completely calm, but tense despite his attempt to mask it.

“I can tell,” is all Goro offered. “What did your parents want?”

Akira paused. “I….Can we not talk about right now?”

“.....fine.”

The rest of the afternoon continues in relative silence, and Goro does his best to ignore the restless and rising waters. 

Two days later, Akira accepted their offer, and didn't speak about his parents much afterwards.

* * *

February turned to March, and Akira spent more and more time at Goro’s apartment. It’s an informal move after a while, eventually Akira took more and more of his few things into the room (it started out as sneaking his clothes into the apartment so he didn’t have to wear the same clothes the next day, but now his entire wardrobe is there). He couldn’t stay in the café’s attic forever, even if Sojiro insisted he didn’t mind. Staying there was _fine,_ but it was always meant to be temporary. Plus, his back was suffering for it. Goro’s actual bed frame was way more comfortable than stacks of crates.

Honestly, Akira was worried that things might be going too fast for a minute. But Goro always did everything at his own ridiculously fast pace and it’s not like their relationship was “normal” by any means, so it’s not like he could base anything off of other couples. Not like he had a ton of experience, anyway.

Akira was more than happy to not only wake up in a comfortable, warm bed with an actual room, but also waking in a bed with arms around his waist and an affectionate kiss on the cheek? He couldn’t imagine a better way to start the morning.

Though, he could do without Goro’s insistence on waking him at the crack of dawn.

Most nights they spend together are spent in quiet bliss, usually when Akira splayed across Goro’s lap with a book he’s already read (which used to drive him mad, but he dropped the act a while ago and even _pouts_ if he doesn’t get to cuddle), the detective on his phone or watching TV or ranting about whatever he felt passionate about at that moment. It’s the best part of his night, if he’s being honest. It’s peaceful, and his life hasn’t been anything close to peaceful in decades. The little moments in the past year where he can just be normal with Goro where they can just….exist as themselves. Akira hasn’t existed as himself outside of the Garden in god knows how long. Now, he could do it all the time. He didn’t have to worry about what comes next any longer. He’d still have to do a bit of pretending to keep his friends close, but far less than the years previous. No more overly careful planning and no more knowing what happens next, just….letting things continue on naturally, like a normal person. Like he used to.

Even if he wasn’t sure how to do that, exactly. But he could adapt to anything just fine. He was fine.

“Do you wish to do anything for your birthday?” Goro said out of the blue one of these nights. Akira looked up at him, confused for a moment before he realized the date. Two weeks from today. Had it already been nearly four months?

“You’re turning eighteen, and most people would see that as a big deal,” Goro said. _‘You’re friends are planning something large and obnoxious, and this is my way of warning you advance,’_ was what he meant, and Akira could tell. “Do you want to do anything?”

Akira paused for a moment. He hadn’t really celebrated his birthday in….he doesn’t know how long. You can only turn seventeen and eighteen so many times without driving yourself insane. He never really celebrated his birthday anyway, it’s no fun to have a party with his lack of friends in Inaba, and when he came to Tokyo, he doubted anyone liked him enough to do (maybe Ryuji would, but they were more worried about Kamoshida) so it never really occurred to him to tell anyone. He’s sure that Futaba at least knew by now, and Goro, being the stalker that he is, knew before they even formally introduced himself. But he hadn’t even thought about doing anything for himself after….well, you know, getting out of jail. Did he even want to do anything?

Before he could come up with an answer for himself, Goro flicked his forehead like the asshole he is. 

“What?” Akira said, which sounded more like a whine than he’d like, batting his hands away.

“Answer me.”

“Jeez, I was thinking! You need to be rude about it!”

“That shouldn’t need more than five seconds to answer.”

Akira only responded by sticking out his tongue. Goro rolled his eyes and spoke again. “Do you want to do anything outside of what your friends are planning?”

 _“Our_ friends, you mean?”

“Answer the damn question.”

Akira thought for a second. He knew that thieves would be planning something like a huge dinner or something, which he was more than happy to have, but he didn’t think Goro would want to do anything outside of that. Akira knew he had an….aversion to birthdays in general, so he had just expected Goro to avoid the subject and tolerate through the party (which he usually does). Akira liked the idea of spending the day with his friends, a surprise party that they had been planning for months. He had always wanted to try out that karaoke place but he never had the time. It could be fun and….maybe a fancy dinner with Goro too, and then going home for some time without the rest of the world watching. He wouldn’t mind a big celebration from his friends….but he really didn’t want them to spend all their time and money on an over-the-top party for a day that he just happened to be born on. It wasn’t a huge deal, anyway. He’s turned eighteen plenty of time before.

“Nah, we can just watch a movie at home or something. I don’t really care too much.”

Goro gave him a strange look, almost doubtful, but it’s gone in a second. “Ok.”

True to his words, the rest of the thieves threw him a ‘surprise’ birthday party at the Leblanc, which was nothing short of a disaster (how they managed to light the kitchen on fire _twice_ is beyond him) but it was nice. Chaotic, but nice. Goro looked like he was three seconds away from death the whole time, but kept his snarky comments to himself (save for one or two, but Akira will take what he can get). By the end of the night, everyone was full and exhausted from the party, with set up and Yusuke rearranging the decorations and Sumire nearly dropping the cake and Futaba’s fiftieth rematch with him in Star Forneus (which, he won, again) and Morgana and Ryuji nearly getting into another fight about whether or not said cat could have chocolate cake or not and the fact he missed the last train and they had to get a cab home. Akira nearly collapses when he finally gets home, and if Morgana hadn’t nagged at him to change into clean clothes and Goro, with his signature lack of tact, hadn’t tossed a particularly heavy present onto the thief who had tried to find solace on the bed.

“What’s this?” Akira said. Goro had already given him a present at the party, a new pair of headphones to replace the “poor excuse for tape and wires” he usually used, so he wasn’t sure what this was about.

“What does it look like?” Goro rolled his eyes.

“A shabby wrapping job?” 

Akira smirked as he ducks under the jacket thrown his way. Morgana was quick to take his cue to leave, rushing out of the bedroom with complaints of the two of them being insufferable.

“Just open it.”

Akira does so, tearing off the cheap tape to find a….book? Huh, ok. He wasn’t sure why Goro had gotten him a book of all things, when he knows that Akira has read most if not all of Tokyo’s literature by now. But alright, a book is a good present. Akira turned it over in his hands to see the cover and-

Oh, that cheeky bitch.

Said cheeky bitch currently had his back turned to him, taking off his tie and gloves with no doubt a smug grin on his stupidly handsome face at his clever little in joke. 

“Do you think you're funny?” 

“What ever do you mean?”

God, Akira could practically hear the cocky pride in his voice. Goro turned back to him, a perfect plastic smile plastered over his face. Akira spun the book in his hand, showing off to a clearly amused detective.

“The Divine Comedy?”

“Well, I thought of your….horrid ideas of Dante’s work, that an actual look through might have some benefit.”

“But I’ve already read this and you know that,” Akira said, faking a pout.

“True, but my assumption is that you haven’t read the poems in quite some time, despite your impeccable memory,” Goro said casually, unbuttoning his dress shirt. “I think a reminder of why it is a classic piece of literature is not simply a piece of cheap slash fiction between two dead poets.”

Akira paused for a moment, before giving his own version of a shit eating grin. “Honey, how do you know what slash fiction is?”

Goro went from having a confident look on his face to looking like a deer in headlights, his face turning a cute shade of pink and his eyes wide. He gaped for a moment, before he let out a quiet huff. “If you don’t like the gift, I can simply return it and get my money back-”

He reached for the book, but Akira had held it out of his reach like he was cradling some precious heirloom. “Nope, it’s mine now! No take backs!”

“What are you, five?”

“Eighteen, actually,” he said with a proud smile. A year older, finally. Goro eyed him for a moment, before he crossed the room and climbed on top of the bed. 

“Oh, really now?” Goro said, moving over Akira and straddling his hips. He made no attempt to hide the smile blooming across his face, only mimicked by Akira’s own.

“Maaaaybe…..”

Goro ran a hand through his hair, placing kisses along his cheek and neck and stirring giggles from the former thief.

“Well, perhaps these gifts simply aren’t enough for you,” He whispered into his ear. “Perhaps, I will have something for myself as well….”

“God, you and your labido. Seriously, gonna have to put you in horny jail after this. We can’t keep kicking Morgana out of else he’s gonna be pissEEE-”

Akira cut himself off with a squeal as he felt a sharp bite on his shoulder, sending out another round of laughter and squirming, the book having been discarded on the floor in the chaos.

In the morning, he woke up happy, loved, and still eighteen.

* * *

“That is absolutely idiotic!”

“Look, it’s not like I have any say in how the universe worked before I was nine-”

“How does that make any sense?! How can there be three different parts to this-”

“Ok, ok, let me run through this again-”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a child. This is entirely convoluted and ridiculous and makes no sense.”

“Alright, alright,” Akira rubbed his temple, looking half tempted to slam his head against the table to get rid of the pounding in his head. Really, neither of them thought this would be as frustrating as it was. “So, there are two Orpheus. Orpheuses? Orpheusi?”

Goro nodded, nursing his own headache to match Akira’s. “Yes, ok, two versions of Orpheus. But why? How?” 

Akira groaned. “So….bear with me here. This is coming directly from the two of them.”

The detective across the table rolled his eyes, but waved his hand in a way to signal for Akira to go one.

“Alright, so….their original masters-”

“There’s two?”

“I’ll get to that. So, let’s call them….Red and Blue, for the sake of sanity. They’re a pair of twins, I think. But somehow only one of them ever survives past their first few days. Now, from what I can tell, there’s two parallel universes. One where Blue lives, and one where Red lives.”

Goro looked at him with disbelief and shock.“Are…..are you confirming the existence of the multiverse theory?”

Akira ignored his question. “The female Orpheus comes from Red, and the male Orpheus from Blue.”

“But wouldn’t that indicate they are the same person rather than siblings if they had the same persona?”

“Oh, they are _not_ the same, I can tell you that.”

“How so?”

“They are two….very different personalities. Even if they look the same and originate from the same myth, they aren’t the same.”

Goro wasn’t convinced, but if they had to go another round at this, he was gonna tear his own hair out.

“.....fine, but where does Messiah come into play?”

“You see, Messiah is both of them. It’s a….long and confusing story, but to put it lightly, they end up living nearly identical lives and end up having to make the same….choices that lead them to becoming Messiah. It’s basically a fusion of the both of them as they reach their full potential. Like fulfilling their purpose, in a way.”

“So, is Messiah a fusion or the ultimate form of Orpheus?”

“......yes? I think? But then there’s Thanatos-”

“Wait, how does Thanatos fit into this? I thought we were talking about Messiah and Orpheus?”

Akira looked exhausted.

“Well yeah, but Red and Blue also have a second persona they start off with due to….circumstances that I am directly getting from the personas themselves, which is Thanatos. He is both a persona and….not a persona? Cause apparently he comes from this other guy but it’s not _his_ persona, cause he _is_ the persona but also is like….the god of death apparently and was kinda hanging out in Red and Blue’s heads and then became like a full fledge dude but then he tried to cause the end of world-”

“Akira, this is insane. There are two versions of the same persona from different universes fuse together with the Greek personification of death to make Messiah? How in god’s name does that make any sense?”

Akira buried his face in his hands with a groan. Goro couldn’t tell half of the time if Akira was telling the truth or whether he was trying to make him look like a fool. Multi-dimensional twins? In what world was that a thing that actually happened?

“This is almost as ridiculous as the damn bear.”

“Teddie is real! I swear to god, he’s a shadow that became a bear that can be a full fledged guy! Izanagi told me so! He works at this supermarket place in my hometown as the mascot!”

“How does a shadow develop a shadow?! That’s impossible in literally every way you look at it!” Goro leaned forward in his seat, unwillingly to back down on this argument.

“Next time I see Igor, I’ll ask him. But he does exist,” Akira insisted. “Honestly, if I hadn’t seen the costume bear himself, I would’ve thought that Izanagi was pulling my leg. I can’t blame you for thinking the same, but at this point this was getting out of hand. Look, shadows are weird and unpredictable and personas even more so.”

Goro rubbed his temple out of frustration. None of this made any goddamn sense and Akira is not helping. “And here I was hoping for some semblance of logic in that mind of your’s.”

“I don’t make the rules here,” Akira said with a lopsided smile. “Personas are fickle at best when it comes to rules. Hell, even your’s constantly changes their minds.”

Goro furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

Akira seemed to be caught off guard by his own words.

“Well, Hereward,” He said, trying not to let his anxiousness show. “I’ve only ever seen him summoned twice, this time included, and the first time he was summoned, he was a fusion between Loki and Robin Hood. He was a third tier persona.”

Somewhere in the forefront of his heart, Hereward stood at attention at the sound of his name being spoken. He only seemed to care when it was Akira that did so.

“Third tier persona?”

“It’s the third awakening of someone’s persona, or at least that what I call them, anyway. They’re nearly impossible to get and I’ve only seen Hereward once until now. The ultimate persona is supposed to be the second form of your initial persona, like how Satanael is the ultimate form of Arséne, or Carmen turns into Hecate or Johanna turns into Anat. But the third tier, which only occurs once in a blue moon for everyone basically the next version of that. They’re usually fusions of their initial and their ultimate.”

“....Raoul,” Goro realized aloud.

Akira smirked and pointed. “Yep! Hereward is supposed to be your third tier persona, but _somehow_ he ended up being entirely separate from both Loki and Robin Hood. Now he’s literally an incarnation of love. I’ve got no idea why he changed up what he needed suddenly, or how he works at all at this point. He’s a third tier but also not.”

Goro stared at him with an expression of confusion and doubt. “Are you sure?”

Akira tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“Are you positive that Hereward was a third tier persona during your first timeline?”

“Well….yeah, pretty sure. Third tiers follow a pattern, they usually have a similar appearance to the initial version of the persona and usually hold an alternate of the name or something relating to their origin. Like Raoul is another alias of Arséne or how the origins of Robin Hood the character are based on Hereward the Wake. Similar traits, you know?”

“....and Hereward was a fusion of Loki and Robin Hood, in place of an initial and ultimate persona? You’re positive?” Goro said slowly.

“I mean, yeah. I think,” Akira said, confused and hesitant. “You didn’t tell me directly, but you never used Loki and Robin Hood after that, which wouldn’t make much sense cause you’ve always used Loki in the palace, and I don’t know why you would stop.”

Goro gave him another doubtful look. 

“What?” 

“I’ve never had a persona change form,” Goro admitted. “Not once in the three years I’ve been in the Metaverse. Even after I met you and started to expand my abilities, none of them have changed form. I didn’t even know it was possible until I met you. I didn’t know a lot was possible until I met you, but something makes me doubt that neither Loki or Robin could change form like your’s do.”

Akira crossed his arms. “Different circumstances lead to different results, and I’ve made sure that we’ve _never_ had to go through that again.”

Goro closed his eyes for a moment. “And what exactly were these circumstances?”

Akira tensed ever so slightly. “Why do you want to know?”

“Humor me.”

Akira was holding _something_ back, Goro knew. The hesitation in his eyes was enough of that, but it seemed like every time Goro asked about the circumstances surrounding his own death during that timeline, Akira seemed to simply shut up. There were inconsistencies in the story that he noticed, but never pointed out. He hadn’t gone poking around in Akira’s head for the memories themselves (he had promised himself to _never_ do that) but the emotions that radiated off of him whenever he spoke of that time were enough to leave him suspicious. Hereward only added to that.

Akira shifted in his seat uncomfortably, failing to hide the anxiousness. “Maruki had come to the Leblanc in a last ditch attempt to try and convince me to accept his bullshit reality. You were eavesdropping and came to yell at him for doing this in the first place like usual. After Maruki left, you made me promise I wouldn’t accept the false reality for any reason, which I did. Then, Hereward formed.”

He’s not lying per say, Goro could tell that much, but there was something missing that Akira was directly leaving out. He’s always been good at dancing around the truth.

“Was that not inherit from our previous conversations?” Goro asked. “Did I have some reason to doubt your resolve?”

Akira had a flash of guilt in his eyes, and then it was gone. “Does it matter?”

“Yes.”

He sighed, avoiding eye contact with Goro as he pulled on a stray curl. “I hesitated for a split second and you got pissed. You made me promise that I wouldn’t force you into this reality.”

Hesitated? Why would he hesitate at all this point? Why not start second guessing yourself when they were so close to the end? What did Maruki say to stir doubt in the Akira of all people?

“Why would I think that you would?”

“Why are you asking me?! You’re the one that felt I would!” 

Goro glared at him silently, the message unspoken between them, which Akira picked up on quickly. The former thief shifted in his seat again, his leg bouncing absentmindedly. He refused to look him in the eye and goes silent for a long time. 

“.....he was holding you hostage,” Akira said quietly. 

Goro blinked in surprise. Hostage? He can’t mean in the literal sense. Did he mean in the reality Maruki created? 

“How, exactly?”

Akira looked almost shameful, guilty. He let out a sigh. 

“.....you didn’t survive Shido’s palace.”

But that was before both Yaldabaoth _and_ Maruki. He would have to have died back in December, but how could he be there in January-

Oh.

“.....he brought me back,” Goro realized aloud. “He was using me as a bargaining chip-”

“He wanted to make a perfect reality for everyone, whether they wanted it or not. Neither of us were an expectation to that. You had failed to mention that you died until the day before, and Maruki practically forced you to admit it. He tried to hold it over our heads to try and get me to accept, but you refused to live in such a reality. You called it a betrayal for even thinking about accepting his offer.”

“It is,” Goro sneered. “I would never live in a reality where I lived under his thumb for the rest of my life. I’d much rather remain dead then become a puppet. To hesitate on that is borderline insulting.”

“That’s what you said that then too,” Akira let out a humorless chuckle, looking tired beyond his years. “‘I refuse to accept a reality concocted by someone else, stuck under their control for the rest of my days’, is what you said. I was never going to accept the offer, but I guess I was quiet for a moment too long and you thought I was going back on our deal. You made me tell you aloud what we were going to do.”

During that timeline, things weren’t….as pleasant between them, clearly. Goro knew vaguely about what happened despite Akira’s avoidance of the subject. They doomed from the beginning, and Akira was the victor. To be brought back as a walking corpse was nothing less than a plain cruelty to the both of them. He didn’t think someone like Maruki of all people had the guts to bring back such a monster.

“Hereward appeared after this promise then?” Goro asked. 

Akira nodded, his shoulders a bit more relaxed at the diversion in conversation. “Yeah. Like, directly afterwards. Once we went back to Maruki’s palace the next day, you only used him. So yeah, he was your third tier persona.”

Goro paused, before taking a deep breath. “Akira, you do realize it’s very much possible that Hereward had a similar role as the one in this timeline as the one he does now, correct?”

Akira blinked at him. “How? That doesn’t make any sense. You didn’t….we weren’t-”

“Hereward having awoken after an intense emotional confrontation between the two of us, after me being reassured that no matter what happened, no matter what heaven or paradise Maruki offers, you would choose me over everything. While I do not carry the same feelings or memories as that version of myself, I can tell you this would not be something that I took lightly.”

“W-well, yeah, but the moments right before the third tier personas are always emotionally charged. All awakenings are,” Akira said. “Even if you’ve never had a persona awaken a second time, that doesn’t mean you can’t do it. I mean, we both thought it wasn’t possible for you to have other personas outside of Loki and Robin, but you could. There’s nothing that says you can’t have a persona awaken for a second time.”

“Perhaps,” Goro said calmly. “But Akira, what are the odds of having the _same_ persona being awakened in different circumstances, one that only showed up twice in the god knows many years you’ve been doing this? You know my abilities are different from the other Wildcards, you said so yourself. Instead of summoning myself as a single being, I have three. Loki is primarily my “core” persona, but Robin Hood and Hereward are still a part of me. To have Hereward, a part of my soul, suddenly appear under different requirements doesn’t seem likely in the least bit. If it were Fenrir or Tyr or any other persona, I could accept that. But the fact it was Hereward calls this entire experience into question.”

Akira started to shift before an anxious denial to slowly increasing worry and unease, even if his face remained still. He was always good at acting, but he can’t fool Goro.

“That doesn’t prove Hereward wasn’t from a third awakening. It’s calling it into question, yes, but it doesn’t prove anything. I doubt that you would just happen to unlock a new ability and not tell me about it!”

“Did I tell you directly that this persona was a fusion of Loki and Robin Hood?”

“No, but it’s not like you were exactly open to me about your life. But that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t tell me about that-”

“Did I use Robin Hood at all during Maruki’s palace? Even when it would have benefited us?”

To put it lightly, Goro despised using Robin Hood at all. Each persona had their own emotions attached to them. Loki felt like chaos, like bloodthirst and fire, a pure adrenaline rush of fury and revenge. It was him in his entirety, his soul incarnate in a single, monstrous form. Hereward felt like a force of nature, destructive and cold but full of passion. A snowstorm surrounding a campfire. Robin felt…..false, artificial, a fake sense of a person people think he is and want him to be. That idolized “hero of justice”, the light of hope that’s nothing more than a facade. It made him feel sick.

“No but-”

“Then why is it so impossible that I simply did not use Loki after gaining Hereward?”

Akira furrowed his brow out of frustration. He fiddled with his sleeve, the anxiousness turning into something akin to dread. Why did the idea of Hereward existing then bother him so much?

“I’m not saying it is, but you can’t prove that he was separate from Loki and Robin.”

“I’m not trying to prove it,” Goro stated. “But I don’t see why you insist on denying it as a possibility.”

“Because it isn’t a possibility!”

“Why?”

“Because you didn’t-!” Akira started, but the words get caught in his throat. His shoulders fell, and the fight in his eyes drained into an emptiness Goro could go the rest of his life without seeing. He spoke again, his voice much quieter than before. “You didn’t love me.”

Goro didn’t need to be told exactly what the events of the first timeline did to Akira, the shock and pain becoming numb over the course of dozens, if not hundreds, of years. But Hereward was still new to him. The idea of having some kind of unknown love he never got the chance to experience, of losing a love he didn’t know existed before Goro’s death, well….it reopens old wounds. 

_‘How much of this was you believing what you say, or simply refusing to believe anything otherwise?’_

“It’s not love necessarily,” Goro said after a long pause. “I do not take promises lightly. Hereward is a promise, simply of a different nature. One of trust, and the other of love. Theoretically at least.”

He leaned back in his chair, trying to act oblivious to Akira’s faltering form. “As you’ve said, I have no way to know what his nature was, and it’s not as though personas and shadows are bound by laws that we can discern in any meaningful way. It’s all speculation.”

Akira didn’t seem reassured or even convinced by this in the slightest, but he nodded regardless. Goro changed the subject to something mundae and pointless in which Akira can just listen and remain quiet. But his mind never quite pulled itself out of that dread ridden haze. The thought continued to linger, even as the day turned into night and Goro’s chest was pressed against his back. Akira woke the next day, making breakfast as he usually did, and prattling on about subjects that didn’t matter to either of them. Akira head off to school with Morgana trailing close behind, and he returned home the next day with a new story to tell. But the unease remained.

* * *

They don’t do much for Goro’s birthday, which was no surprise. June was…..not exactly the happiest month for him. He doubted that the Phantom Thieves would throw a party for him, but he had specifically told them not to do anything. Akira had his own plans for that day, something he knows his partner would like.

Goro chose work that day, even if he was offered the time off. Akira doesn’t comment on it, he just made coffee for him and gave him a kiss before he set off to school. 

He got a text later that day with a simple _‘Be home late, don’t wait up.’_

Once again, no surprise there. Work distracts him, and with Goro’s bad habit of overthinking everything and anything, he’ll need all the distraction he can get. It’s a way to escape, and Akira can’t blame him for doing so.

Goro had a habit of working late anyway. The schedule of a detective wasn’t exactly the most stable thing in the world, and there were plenty of times where it was just Akira and Morgana for the night. It was alright, more time for his friends. He didn't mind Goro working late, even by choice. If it made him feel better during this time, then so be it. And tonight, it at least gave him more time to prepare.

Goro came home around nine, looking half dead and absolutely exhausted. He threw his coat on the rack silently and placed his unopened briefcase neatly on the counter. Even when he looked about five seconds away from collapsing, he still had to keep everything tidy. Akira had already sent Morgana’s over to Haru’s for the night, with the promise of deluxe tuna for tomorrow.

“Welcome home,” Akira called from the living room, giving the other a smile as Goro sat himself down next to him with a quiet sigh. “Long day?”

“Incredibly,” Goro rubbed his temples as Akira leaned up against him on the couch. “Some intern screwed up the lastest case file, so I spent most of the day just to fix his mess, which is most certainly not my fucking job but I need to get it done and this moron wasn’t going to do it. That’s not even considering the fact that Tanaka had decided he needed to give me a half hour discussion on why he thinks the school trip is an unnecessary waste of school funds, which I don’t even know why he’s telling me that seeing that I’m not a staff member or even on the student council. Then there was the delay on the train system which was absolutely _delightful_ when I had hoped to make it home before the rain-”

Goro paused, his eyes catching on to the show displayed on the TV in front of him.

“.....what are you watching?”

Akira shrugged. “Some weird show Futaba leant to me. She won’t stop talking about how great it is so I’d thought I’d give it a watch.”

Akira knew the detective better than he knew himself sometimes, and he knew that one of Goro’s secretly favorite shows had always been the Featherman series. It really wasn’t a well kept secret, despite his insistence on it being “childish and idiotic”, but it always seemed to catch his attention in conversations. It was probably a nostalgic factor for him, like, just look at Robin for god’s sake. The persona reeked of a kid’s idea of a superhero with all the gold and metals. Akira for the life of him couldn’t understand the appeal of it himself, having watched the show ten times over with Futaba, but Goro seemed to like it.

“......this episode is terrible,” Goro said.  
“Is it?”

“Yes.”

But Goro made no move to get up or even change the episode. He just glanced down at Akira and then back at the show, eyes transfixed on the screen like a little kid. His arm unconsciously it’s way around the former thief’s waist, pulling him closer as he continued to watch the show. 

“Did you order take out?” Goro asked after a long pause, finally noticing the boxes of food on the coffee table. 

“Yep. Didn’t feel like cooking tonight,” Akira answered, leaning his head against Goro’s shoulder. “Help yourself before Yusuke comes to raid our fridge again.”

“You have to stop inviting him over,” Goro said while picking up one of the boxes. “I can’t keep paying for a fourth person in this household.”

“I’m the one that buys groceries! With my own money!” Akira protested playfully. “If you were the one doing it, we’d be eating shitty frozen food and takeout every night.”

“Well, that’s why I keep you around. You’re my personal chef after all.”

Akira feigned offense and gave him a slight smack on his chest. “Dickhead.”

Goro only smiled in response. Both leaned against the couch, watching whatever dumb repeative plot line was happening in the show but not really paying attention to it. Goro goes off on and tangent or two, criticizing on how overly naive the main character is or how getting save at the last minute is stupid and over used, and Akira just listens along to whatever he has to say. Sometime during the marathon, they both drift off to sleep, only to be woken up in a panic having slept well past when they were supposed to. They both had to rush to get ready, just barely able to make the trains on time for class while looking like they both ran through a windstorm while fighting off feral raccoons (in Morgana’s colorful words) and was able to understand about half of the lessons they were taught.

All around, Akira counts it as a win.

* * *

“Do you think this is justice? Do you believe you’ve gotten what you deserved?” 

Goro doesn’t know why he’s asking. He doesn’t expect an answer from the half conscious form of his father on the floor, and he’s not sure he wants to. The shadow’s eyes were half awake, staring at Goro with confusion and fear, knowing the danger he must be in.

It was something he had dreamed of plenty of times. The fantasy of the great and powerful Shido beaten and bruised on the floor, pleading for forgiveness from his abandoned bastard child that had acted as his lap dog for so long. He imagined him breaking down, slowly and painfully, just as he deserved. He was going to make the bastard pain for everything he’d ever done. Goro wanted his blood to spill on that precious carpet of his office, have his overpriced polished desk stained and broken from the sins committed there with a few orders and a flicker of the wrist. Sometimes Goro had a gun, sometimes the jagged sword he used to take the lives of many at his orders, sometimes a curved blade, something beautifully elegant and far too good for either of them, sometimes it was just his hands. He would have never let Shido go out quickly. No, he needed to suffer for what he’s done. Goro was going to make him suffer.

Goro’s palace changed as he wished. He was the god of the cognitive world and the ruler of the palace. The original form of the kingdom was….unstable, in a sense. It was still forming, and all Goro needed to do was morph the reality to his liking. It was almost too easy, but he supposed that what godhood entailed. The “dungeon” (truthfully, it looks more like a lab cell than anything, but it served the same purpose) had been unstable and half made before Goro had fully gotten a hold of his….abilities. The world was his to change and mold to his ideal image. The floor was entirely built at this point, with the finer details still in the works. Though, he had made sure this room was how he wanted, only the best for _his father._

“Truthfully, I don’t think there is a way to atone for what you’ve done,” Goro continued, voice flat but coated in vitriol and bitterness. “Too many sins to ever be redeemed for, I suppose.”

He stood from the metal chair he was sitting in, his eyes locked on the shadow in front him. 

“Do you remember Chikako Kimura? Oh, nevermind, of course you don’t,” He said. “She wasn’t well known, barely published a few articles before her ‘tragic end’. She was going to be famous, a journalist activist, finally able to get out of that shitty one bedroom apartment with her fiance and start making an actual change in the world like she always wanted to. But she just so happened to pick the wrong person to investigate, one of your stupid lackeys who had gotten too sloppy and caught the scent of a reporter. She was the fourth person you ordered me to kill. She was twenty three. I was fifteen.”

Shido didn’t hold any recognition in his eyes for the name. Goro wasn’t surprised, it was one in the sea of people that had nearly carried him to tyranny.

“Loki had her crash the car she was driving. Drove it right off the bridge. It took her a few minutes to drown, but she couldn’t even process what was happening so…..I suppose that was a mercy. She didn’t feel a thing, but that’s what happens when your shadow is twisted into something it shouldn’t be. It makes you hollow.”

Goro circled the shell of a man as he spoke.

“Her fiance didn’t take it well. The guy drank himself to death not three months later. A tragedy, really. But they were just people. The world moves on with two more graves for two more unknown faces. That’s just how it is.”

“It’s not…..it’s not right…..” the shadow weakly protested. Oh great, it speaks. “…..I’m sorry-”

 _“Shut up,”_ Goro said too sharply. “You’re only regretful because they made you feel so. You wouldn’t feel the slightest bit of guilt if you hadn’t gotten caught and changed. If _he_ hadn’t shown you mercy, you’d be dead at my feet. He’s the only reason you’re still alive.” 

Shido shook his head. “I don’t deserve it.”

“Right, you don’t,” He hissed. “I was fifteen. Fifteen! I was a child! _Your_ child! And you used me as a fucking pawn in your poltical games. You ordered me to kill people, _innocent fucking people_ like the soulless bastard you are-!”

Goro’s breath caught in his throat. He needed to calm himself. This wasn’t for him.

“Do you remember her?” Goro asked, voice tight and strained in an attempt to hide his emotions.

Shido looked up at him weakly. “W...what…..?”

Goro grit his teeth. “I asked you a question, you useless piece of shit. _Do you remember her?”_

The man’s eyes held confusion for a moment before it seemed to finally click in that rotted brain of his. His eye widened, and something akin to the guilt fabricated by the Phantom Thieves. God, he didn’t want pity from _him_ of all people.

“What was she studying?” He asked.

“Studying….?”

Goro glared at the shadow as it cowarded in it’s ignorance, his hands balling into fists.

“Christ, you can’t even try to remember how you met her? Can’t even put in that much effort for some whore and her bastard, right?”

“No, that’s not-!”

Shido was cut off by a sharp kick to his stomach, which sent off a bout of coughs from the shadow.

“Then answer me,” Goro hissed at the shell of a man beneath his foot. 

Shido swallowed, taking a shaky breath. “She….she was a student at a university I visited years ago.”

So he does remember her. Goro wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

“She was young, she must have been….” Shido continued shakily. “I think….twenty three?”

“Twenty.”

Shido flinched slightly. “R….right. I was a guest lecturer back when, I believe. It….it was during the beginning of my career. I was attempting to gain traction through….through positive encouragement with the younger demographic and….and….”

He trailed off, his brows furrowed in thought as he struggled to remember. It only caused more rage to stir in the pit of his stomach. He remembered more about his fucking poltical career than the mother of his child. Though, Goro was sure he wasn’t the only bastard child of his.

“She must have been in the crowd….and she came up to me afterward, in which she produced to tell me my speech by calling it generic and said to fix my damn tie if I ever wanted to be taken seriously in this world. I took it as an insult and a challenge, but looking back on it she was right. I was quite arrogant back then….and was for a long time.”

_No shit._

“But I was equally as prideful, and not willing to back down from a woman. We ended up debating for nearly an hour over drinks. God, she was brilliant. She was studying….chemistry, I believe?”

“Physics,” Goro said flatly. “It was physics. She was a genius, a witty I don’t think many could ever match. She had plans to become an astronomer. She was near the top of her class, has been since she was a child. She loved mathematics and the stars. She was going to go far in life.She had such passion for her work and it showed in everything she did. Have a career, publish a few papers, make breakthroughs in her field. Maybe she would have a family, maybe she would have grown old with a husband, adored by her children and taken care of by her loved ones. That’s how it should have been.”

Goro stopped in front of Shido. The man’s face was downcast, shame and guilt practically reeking off the man, which only served to infuriate Goro even more. 

“She was disowned from her family once they found out she was pregnant. She was kicked out and called her a slut and whore for getting herself knocked up. She had to drop out because she couldn’t afford to pay to keep going. She couldn’t get a job, no one wanted to hire a pregnant drop out, nor did anyone wanted to hire a mother with no way to have a solid schedule with an infant. Her friends turned their backs on her after as to not be associated with the social pariah, and the few who did show her any kindness quickly left her as well. She was left penniless, abandoned with a needy child she didn’t want from a man that she despised. She didn’t exactly have a lot of options outside of selling her body to those willing to pay.” 

Goro scoffed.

“And it’s not as though people weren’t willing to pay, either. She was nothing short of beautiful. Gorgeous, angelic almost. I thank whatever deity is out there every day I look more like her than I do you. If things had been different, she would have been adored by whatever husband that was lucky enough to have her.”  
He doesn’t get an answer. He doesn’t expect one, anyway.

“I suppose that’s why she was able to scrape by as long as she did. She didn’t have much, in all honesty, but it was enough to keep a roof over her and her child’s head and food on the table. She did what she had to do to survive, even if it destroyed her. She did because she needed to, because her child needed it. But it wasn’t enough.”

Goro let out an exhausted sigh.

“Six years.”

“.....what?”

“That’s how long she was able to survive for. Six years…..I commend her for making it as far as she did. I can’t say I would have had the same persistency as her. I would have blown my brains out the second any of those disgusting bastards laid their hands on me, or just left the damn infant in a dumpster.”

“No, you wouldn‘t have,” Shido said suddenly. Goro tensed, glaring at the man with a hate filled stare. 

_“What?”_

“You don’t have the heart of such cruelty. You may claim to not care for others, but your sense of justice has always left you with an unwavering heart. You could never abandon a child like that, like I would.”

Goro’s face twisted in the snarl. “You don’t know me-”

“I know you well enough,” Shido said, meeting the other’s glare. What gave him the right- “You’re still my son-”

“Shut up!”

“-and you’re Yua’s son as well. I see her in your eyes still. You have the same fire in your soul as she did. She’d be be so proud-”

Years of built rage and a flash of fire was all there was for Goro’s sword to suddenly be buried in the shadow’s back. His pain filled screams echoed off the walls of the room, shaky and full of agony. The mockery of blood spilled from the wound, staining the white tile a nauseating black mixture. 

_“Not quite yet, my king,”_ Loki whispered in the back of his mind. _“Remember what we must do. Let him feel the weight for his sins tenfold.”_

Goro knew. He was never going to kill him so mercifully. He didn’t deserve a quick death. No, he was going to suffer for the pain he caused for thousands of people just like her. After what he had done to them, to Akira, to Goro, to his mother, he didn’t deserve that kindness.

He had a special punishment in mind for his father.

“You could have done something to stop her death, anything, but that would ruin you, wouldn’t it? Even a few thousand yen could have saved her, but that would be admitting to your mistake. You would have to admit that you had a bastard child out there in the world from a one night stand with a whore, and that would leave a chip in your ego. God forbid anything potentially hurt the pride of the great Masayoshi Shido lest they feel the wrath of the world’s future leader, right? No matter who it is, they were nothing more than stepping stones to your path to victory, and anyone in the way had to be eliminated. That was the will of god….”

Goro grabbed the handle of the sword and pulled it out of Shido without care, drawing another anguished cry from the pathetic mass of a man. He couldn’t lie and say that didn’t bring some kind satisfaction as he sputters and heaves. 

“We both killed her, in our own way. I’m not innocent in this, but I have my own path to redemption I was given,” Goro said, running his finger over the bloodied edge of the blade. “I was offered a second chance by the man you sentenced to death, and I was smart enough to take it. We must pay for our sins, but the difference between us is that one of us can be redeemed, but you cannot. However, I have my own idea for you to still have use to the universe.”

Loki manifests behind him in all his awful glory, a mocking smile and fire burning at the promise in Goro’s words. They’d dreamed of this, and it was going to _hurt._

Fear crossed Shido’s face like a frightened animal, cornered and injured and completely at Goro’s mercy.

“I don’t think you’ve ever met Loki, have you?” Goro said with a cruel grin. “You already know of his existence, my “unconscious self”, as the researchers called him. He was the reason many of your enemies were taken care of so efficiently. Loki is a bit….unique persona. He doesn’t just kill shadows if he wants to get rid of an enemy. No, he _breaks_ them.”

Goro took a step back and placed a hand over the monochrome patterned skin of the god as they bent down to look at the man upon close. Shido’s fear and panic grew, but even still, he didn’t not realize the danger he was truly in. 

“Call of Chaos can drive one’s shadow into a state of madness. It results in a mental self destruction, with suicides, meltdowns, setbacks in mental development, or just general bouts of madness. But in the wake of my new found role Loki’s abilities….we’ve made a few developments in his skills. Theoretically, we can have him inflict different states of emotion on a person’s shadow and have it reflected through their real world counterparts. Now, we’ve haven’t had the opportunity to test this out quite yet. We’ve been busy taking care of some of your former colleagues and I don’t need to start killing random innocents because of recklessness that could have been easily avoided. But I do believe I’ve found the perfect candidate for our first trial.”

Goro doesn’t bother to hide the malicious glee in his voice. He was enjoying this. He had every right to enjoy this. This was his plan, first and foremost, one he had spent months on brainstorming to make sure he paid for his transgressions, to put the bastard into a coma and work out the kinks in Loki’s power. Let him be at the mercy of one of the most petty and sadistic beings in the universe, and develop his own abilities further. He’s not sure how long it will last, weeks or months or years (god, Goro could only dream) until Loki has had his fun, and then it will be done. His mother will finally be avenged. Shido could beg and plead for forgiveness to anyone and everyone, to heavens and gods above, but it wouldn’t matter.

He’s not listening.

“Play nice,” Goro said to Loki, before turning to Shido one last time and taking in the site of his broken and bloodied father. “Do you have anything left to say for yourself? Any more begging for forgiveness? Any more apologies for a dead woman? What else do you have to offer your puppet that grew beyond you?”

Shido looked up at him, slowly, painfully, and met his eyes with Goro’s own.

“You cannot blame yourself for being born.”

Goro faltered. He faltered in front of the man he hated the most. 

_No, no,_ _no_ Shido doesn’t have this power over him anymore. He does not get to see Goro’s moment of weakness. He doesn’t need Shido, he’s never needed him. He does not get to be given even the slightest bit of satisfaction, not now.

Goro doesn’t say anything back to his father, only turning and _rushing_ walking out the door with a scowl. The metal door slammed behind him, but he could barely hear it as he moved into the hall and to one of the upper floors of the palace. Bile sat at the back of his throat as he stumbled back into the cool early morning air of the city. It’s quiet, the sun casting the sky in a hazy blur of crimsons and violets. A beautiful sight to anyone that wasn’t on the verge of vomiting in a dirty alleyway, but a calming view still.

 _“You did well, my king,”_ Robin reassured in the forefront of his mind, the false warmth from the sun basketing his skin. _“The villain has been punished, and you stand victorious. Go home, and reap your rewards.”_

It wasn’t over, not by a long shot. The work of correcting the balance of the world was by no means an easy task, even for a god. The rot of the universe was constant and ever growing, and it was something Goro couldn’t take his eyes off of for a moment without repercussions. They will all meet their own select fates, in due time, but it was nothing short of exhausting.

But as he looked up at the watercolor sky, he was reminded of the small paradise at home.

Akira was still sleeping peacefully when he got back to the apartment, curled up with Morgana against his chest. Goro’s heart softened at the sight of his lover, sun reflecting gently off his pale skin, almost making him look radiant in the morning glow. He lets out a wistful sigh, not even bothering to remove his clothes as he climbed into the bed. He didn’t exactly have much time until their alarm went off, and both had to leave off to school or whatever commitments they had that day, but he could indulge himself in the little bit of heaven until then. A small reward for his efforts.

The cat stirred, peaking over Akira’s side sleepily.

“Where were you?”

“Working,” is the only answer he could muster. Morgana gave him a doubtful look, but settled back into whatever dream he must have been having. 

Goro wrapped his arms around Akira’s waist, pulling the thief to his chest tightly. He pressed his lips against the back of his neck, burying his face in the curls. Akira let out some quiet murmurs, but leaned into the other’s touch. The exhaustion weighed heavy on Goro’s bones, and Akira was only pulling him deeper into the calm promise of unconsciousness. He sighed softly, listening to quiet snores of his lover, and drifted into a blissful sleep.

* * *

Akira didn’t really know what to do with himself.

He can keep himself busy well enough. Five jobs and end of year exams were enough to keep him busy (christ, he’s going to _graduate_ at the end of the month), and his friends were always requesting to go out (he thanks god every day he stayed in Tokyo). But he still felt…..he’s not sure how to pin it down. Unfulfilled isn’t the right word…..maybe anxious? Out of place…? No, it seemed more like….unprepared, which, the irony was not lost on Akira but he couldn’t help but feeling like he’s falling behind again.

It wasn’t in the original sense, he was still very much included in everything the (well, technically former) Phantom Thieves did and was out of the house more often than not but….it still just felt odd to be Akira without being Joker for once. He wasn’t technically a phantom thief anymore, which was a strange thought to put it lightly. The Metaverse still existed, in some way or another, but the fact he lacked any kind of access to it was….he didn’t know what it was. It just was. 

Akira found himself on edge half of the time, as though there was some bad big villain out there ready to turn around and decide to make Tokyo the new grounds for world domination and there would be a mysterious call for help from Lavenza or Igor. But instead of waking to a cell or siren, it's his alarm going off, or Morgana pawing at his face or Goro’s stupidly thin curtains letting the light in. His dreams aren’t plagued with nightmares nearly as much, and there were no prophecies of future catastrophes. Dinner with Ryuji and Ann is just that, there’s no discussion of their next missions or plans for the next palace or….anything. It was just a normal dinner with his friends. So why did it feel so weird?

“Do you ever miss the Metaverse?” Akira asked out of the blue during one of his and Goro’s date nights, which was probably their favorite night of the week. Goro’s schedule was packed enough as a full time college student and the private detective work, but the extra interviews and the overtime have made it a bit harder to catch each other. “Date night”, which was every other Saturday, to make reservations at a nice dinner place or going to the jazz club or wherever else they felt like doing. Around Goro, things were….easier. Well, easy was the last word he would use to describe Goro, being nothing less than the stubborn asshole Akira fell in love with, but the anxiety just seemed to vanish around him. Their debates over stupid things and dumb flirts like they haven’t been living together for the past six and half months just made the nonsense worries in the back of his mind was forgotten in favor for whether or not it’s justified to sneak into the movie theater if the ticket prices were bullshit or why some featherman character’s arc is a betrayal to the original writing or not. Talking with Goro felt natural, like nothing changed from the months they spent scheming to uproot the universe and murder a god.

Goro looked up at him from his food, eyebrow raised. “Why do you ask?”

“Just….I don’t know. You were around it for like three years. Isn’t it kinda weird to be without it?”

“It’s not like it’s gone. Just changed into another form. Isn’t that what you told me?”

“Well, yeah but….” Akira paused. “You get so used to traveling down into the Metaverse and fighting shadows every day and now it’s just….gone. You were Crow for such a long time that it’s just kinda weird to be without it. The thrill of summoning your personas or taking out rage on shadows or exploring a palace isn’t exactly something you can find in reality.”

“If it were found in reality, then it wouldn’t be very exciting to explore the Metaverse.”

Akira snorted. “Still….do you ever wish you could still access it?”

Goro set his fork down, placing a hand under his chin as he thought for a moment. “Not particularly.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” Goro said plainly. “Why do you sound surprised?”

“You’d use the Metaverse a lot. Like a lot. Outside of what Shido ordered you to do or what we needed to do for taking down Yaldy or even just getting money or personas.”

Goro huffed, his cheeks a slightly darker shade of pink. “You don’t know how long I spent in the Metaverse.”

“Not exactly, but I can make an educated guess,” Akira said. “You can’t really relax on your own so whatever time you had off of work or school was spent either making tools for going into the Mementos or you were actually in the Mementos. You leveled up and fused your personas all the time and kept going deeper, whether you were trying to get more items and personas or trying to explore the lower levels or just trying to piss off the False God, that’s on you. You took a lot of your anger out on the shadows because being the Detective Prince was the worst and you hated it. It was basically your only outlet for a long time.”

Akira gave him a cocky smirk. “How close am I?”

Goro glared at him, but sighed. “Scarily, as always. I don’t appreciate being psychoanalyzed.”

“Taste of your own medicine. But anyway, mind telling me why?”

“I would mind, actually,” Goro said, but continued on anyway after a moment. “While I will admit my way of taking out anger wasn’t exactly in a typical fashion and it wasn’t the most productive way of dealing with my internal issues, I am not reliant on it. I’ve dealt with my own internal conflicts without having to murder shadows every few days.”

That made sense, he guessed. Goro had plenty of….emotional problems before and at the beginning of the year, but with the appearance of Fenrir signified a major change in the detective’s heart. It’s hard to have multiple personas without having an unwavering grip on your emotions, and Goro had even admitted to having trouble keeping the more rowdy ones under his control. Even still, it was a strange thought that Goro had worked through his many, many issues so quickly over the course of a year. Goro had never exactly been the one to ever recover, or even want to recover from the damage done to him, preferring to go down clawing and scratching than take a hand in aid. He’d call it pity and an insult. 

Perhaps Akira was too used to Goro’s unyielding stubbornness and refusal to acknowledge anything flawed about his thinking.

Yeah, that seemed about right.

“I’m curious as to why you brought this up,” The detective said. 

Akira leaned back in his chair. “I just wanted to know.”

Goro hummed. “It’s gone. There’s no use thinking about the what if’s of situations.”  
He paused. 

“Though, if the Metaverse was still around, it would have it’s benefits.”

“Yeah?”

He nodded. “The ability to change hearts still would be a useful skill for those that still have corruption in their hearts.”

“Oh? You want to change hearts?” Akira said. “You’re starting to sound like a Phantom Thief.”

“I have my own ideas on how to deal with corruption, thank you,” Goro said, even though Akira didn’t really know what he meant and didn’t give him much of a chance to ask. “And I wouldn’t consider myself a Phantom Thief much either.”  
“What? Of course you are!”

“I simply worked with them for a common goal. Nothing more,” Goro stated plainly. Akira’s heart sunk a little. He had really thought that Goro felt some sort of companionship with him and the rest of thieves. “I’ve only ever been Black Mask, the puppet assassin of Shido, and Crow, your loyal partner in crime. Crow the Phantom Thief was never truly who I was. Crow the Trickster is a much more preferable role.”

Ok, nevermind, that was really sweet. Stupid asshole keeps stealing his heart when that’s supposed to be Akira’s job.

“Well, it’s not fair to just ask me that question,” Goro continued. “Do you?”

“Do I what?”

He let out a tired sigh. “Do you miss using the Metaverse?”

Akira blinked in surprise, entirely caught off guard by his own question. He really shouldn’t be surprised that Goro turned it back on him, he does it literally every time, but still, here he was looking like an idiot.

“You’re off your game today,” Goro said with a smug smile.

“I guess so,” Akira admitted. “I don’t know….sometimes?”

Goro raised an eyebrow. “Sometimes?”

“Yeah just….” Akira trailed off.

“You miss the benefits being a Phantom Thief?” Goro said bluntly.

Akira was taken aback once more by what should have been an obvious idea. The detective continued in his silence.

“Well, benefits isn’t exactly the right word….more the thrill. You’ve always been an adrenaline addict in your own way, and nothing can quite match the rush of adrenaline that comes from summoning your persona or cutting down shadows with ease. Being a Phantom Thief awakened some kind of longing excitement for you, and it’s been quite literally decades as one for you. You have coexisted with the Metaverse for so long, far longer than I have, and it’s almost become second nature to you in a way. Easier to put on a mask, right?” Goro smiled cheekily. “How close am I?”

“.....scarily, but that's usual. You and your stupidly accurate detective skills,” Akira said, grinning slightly but it somehow felt forced. Did he really have to be so blunt all the time? (Yes he did, because he wouldn’t be Goro Akechi if he wasn’t.) And he wasn’t even wrong in the least bit, which probably pissed him off more because Goro knew exactly what he was feeling and put into words perfectly which was more than Akira could do half the time. It wasn’t fair, that was supposed to be his job. 

But Akira knew him just as well, as a lover should, and they knew each other. They were supposed to be able to read each other.

Even if he wished Goro wasn’t so damn good at it sometimes.

Sure, ok, it was a lot easier to be Joker than it was to be Akira. Joker was a role to play, a person to pretend to be. He was the cool Phantom Thief ideal that everyone wanted to be and Akira had the luck of being able to play for as long as he did. The best friend, the rival, the brother, the son, the muse, whatever you needed to be to be. It was a simple matching game, fit the mask the other person wanted to see. He had screwed it up the first few times, but he was a master at it by now.

Akira was…..well, he didn’t quite know anymore. Something made of shades of blue and geraniums, of lies and earnestness with too much naivety for his own good. Somewhere between a helpless kid and a fool. ~~_Someone not worth holding onto_ ~~

Joker was distinct, solid. Joker was crimson and fire and rebellion. He was the masterful gentleman thief of the night. He was everything the world needed him to be and more. The Trickster, the Fool, the World.

And Akira was just Akira.

“You’re drifting again, love,” Goro said, pulling him from his thoughts. “Where did you go?”

Akira forced another smile, rubbing the back of his neck. “Just spacing out again, sorry.”

Goro eyed him doubtfully, but only hummed after a moment. The conversation moved on to something else, something about a case that was giving him trouble, but it wasn’t really what he was paying attention to. The only thing he could focus on without slipping into a place he didn’t want to be was the sound of the detective’s voice, the sharp yet calm, reaching above the noise of the restaurant and Akira’s own thoughts, grounding him back to reality and back to himself. The world vanished in place of a small corner in an overpriced restaurant with a pair of strange people that found solace in each other, to find comfort in the life of another. He could forget about his lacking, just for a little bit, in the haze of love from his one and only. It was enough.

At least he hoped so.

* * *

The seasons changed from one to another in the blink of an eye. Months bleed quickly into each other and before he knew it, time had already slipped away. Goro wasn’t sure if it was because of his work as a detective or his work on his more important projects, but it felt as though the year moved far too fast for his liking.

Akira graduated with honors, with plenty of offers for scholarships to the best universities in Tokyo (as though Goro would ever let his mind go to waste working at four part time jobs forever), and more than enough to secure a decent enough future despite his aloof attitude towards the entire thing (Goro has to literally force him to do anything relating to applying, with threats of withholding his phone until he did so and plenty of whining on the other’s end to boot.)

The graduation party with the rest of Akira’s friend group was nothing short of a pain in the ass. Somehow Okumura ended up renting out an entire carnival, and both Kitagawa and Takamaki ended up getting stuck on the ferris wheel. It had taken nearly an hour for them to get the two down, and by then the food they had gotten had gotten cold and Goro’s headache had gotten worse just from the sound of Sakamoto’s obnoxiously loud voice.

Truthfully, he could do better without the Phantom Thieves. Akira had plenty of other much better friends. Hifumi was polite and intelligent, Sojiro was courteous and had a talent for making anyone feel welcome, Ms. Lala had a wit unlike any other, and while she was a member of the little group, Sumire was pleasant enough to be around when she’s separated from the rest of them. Goro couldn’t see what the thieves had to offer that the others’ in the city didn’t, but it’s not as though he could simply get rid of them as he wished. Even the slightest bit of decline in any of their relationships sent Akira into a near panic and him scrambling to “fix” whatever the perceived problem might be. The amount of anxiety that radiates off of him was enough to deter Goro from doing anything that could put any distance between them. Even if he strongly disliked being around the group, he wasn’t going to risk hurting Akira to get rid of them. He simply left them to their own devices, and dealt with them when needed. Anything to make his love happy.

Even if they made him want to pull his damn hair out at times.

At the very least he could use his work as an excuse to escape whatever invitation they gave Akira had and would drag him along to, and oh he has been busy. One would think being a god would be easy, but that turned out to be far from the truth. Simply maintaining order in the Mementos was draining on it’s own, with the countless voices of the public talking all at once or random desires spilling into his head. It was constant and neverending, something he wished Loki would have warned him about beforehand. Goro had to learn quickly to get it under control, which he still has issues with on occasion. A mental barrier between him and them was a necessity. Being in Asgard was enough to block them out for a bit, and he isn’t sure if he’d ever leave the Metaverse if it weren’t for Akira keeping him grounded in reality.

And then of course, there were his targets.

They weren’t hard to find, per say. All it took was some corrupt politician or other disgusting vermin and suddenly he had a target. He knew the names of Shido’s associates, the scientists and police and whoever else was foolish enough to work with him and deal out their punishments accordingly. Which ultimately led to another problem; their fates.

A god of justice had to be sure, had to be right, and had to be fair. He was used to disturbing his own form of justice, and he was more than willing to do it now. In theory, it shouldn’t be a problem. But truthfully, having to determine whether the punishment fit the crime was….difficult. Simply killing them all, while an easy and quick option, is not something he can always go with. He wasn’t some reckless killer after all, despite Loki’s rather….trigger happy nature, who was all too happy to have no subjects for his ‘test runs’ as he called them (he had to explain repeatedly that just because the banker embezzling funds was bad, doesn’t mean he deserved to have his mind torn apart). Finding a balance between the more extreme side was easier said than done, but he managed.

Once he finally got into the rhythm of everything, it became easier. The police chef was tragically killed in a car accident. The new SIU director dies of a heart attack. A doctor or two are killed in random muggings. The media pays no mind to this, they’re all random, unconnected accidents of people no one should truly care about, and the ones they did care about were quickly forgotten about in the grand scheme of things. No one gave it a second glance. They had bigger things to worry about in their lives. The lucky ones simply resigned, gave up, or had a ‘change of heart’ not too dissimilar to the Phantom Thieves, hit with an overwhelming guilt of their actions. Robin was swift to deal with them, and those that put up any kind of fight were put down by Fenrir. High ranking politicians resign, gang members turn themselves in, corrupt officers get caught in the act, and the world is all the better for it. It was the simplest part of his job. He could keep their shadows in line without much trouble.

But there were few that caught Goro’s attention for all the wrong reasons were given a fate far less merciful. Those were the more….fun ones to deal with, in a way. Killing shadows was exciting still, but nothing quite captured the amount of relief he got from ridding the world of the lowest scum he could find. People like Shido were plenty, even if they haven’t exactly gained the leverage over others he once had. Someone had to take care of them, and Goro had made it his new life mission to do so. Loki took great pleasure in dragging a fresh face into the dungeon, whether for special executions or for something….more fitting. Goro usually let the trickster god take care of those unfortunate enough to truly enrage him, or even Hereward when he found one that set their sights for the dear leader of the Phantom Thieves, but Goro couldn’t say he didn’t enjoy bringing down retribution upon those that are practically begging for karma to fall upon them. The absolute looks of despair that crosses their faces when they realize that no money, no political power or influence, nothing could ever save them from the wrath of god. There was nothing quite like the thrill of watching all hope drain from their faces. 

The media doesn’t pay any mind to it. A few random politicians from across the world falling into comas wasn’t a major story anymore. It was barely mentioned in a news article or two before it was swiftly forgotten about. Others were elected equally as fast, better ones, honest ones. The world couldn’t give less of a shit about a few brain dead yakuza members, it was all the better for it. People just….didn’t care whether or not a few less than desirable individuals happened to die without cause. As long as their lives were left uninterrupted- or better than before, than who cared?

Truthfully, nothing has changed since Yaldabaoth’s rein. Rotten, the whole lot of them. 

Well, Goro will deal with that when he gets to it. He could deal with the less important subjects down the line. At the moment, he had more pressing matters at the moment.

Which was whether or not the curtains really matched the new paint color Akira had wanted to paint the walls.

Of course they were still ‘looking’ for a new apartment after penalty of complaints from the two leeches that their (well, Goro’s technically) apartment was too small and that Morgana was tired of being kicked out of the bedroom and made to sleep on the couch (cat beds were condescending apparently) and how the kitchen was “just plain crap”, according to the only cook in the house, Goro couldn’t see what was wrong with it. Goro had found a good apartment quickly, one that was rather conveniently being moved out of at an equally convenient decent price and close to both their jobs to be a quick train ride away. They had gone to look at that one first, and Akira was practically fawning over it like Goro knew he would. Akira had still insisted that they talk it over with Morgana and look around “just in case” even though he wouldn’t shut up about the huge balcony that can hold plenty of plants and the size of the kitchen, and the cat was more than happy to have his own room. Goro already had the paperwork ready, all he needed was Akira’s approval which was bound to come in a few days' time. 

So for the time being, in between his detective work and his actual work, he’s keeping his love happy. Loki’s project did have it’s purpose, and Goro learned quickly how to alter emotions, even on a smaller scale. He’s careful, starting off with simply pulling his attention back from a news station that played one of Goro’s more important targets. Goro hated keeping him ignorant of his work but….he couldn’t risk losing this timeline. He doesn’t know what Akira would do if he did know, and Goro would rather not find out. He kept the thief’s attention elsewhere. He shouldn’t have to worry about the lowlifes of the world. Akira’s borderline overwhelming anxiety and paranoia were eased, letting him finally relax and simply enjoy the life he built. His constant worries of the future were replaced with smaller worries about the day. It was a conscientious and delicate process, but one all for Akira’s happiness. Akira deserved that happiness after everything he’s been through. After all he’s done for this world, the world owed him a little bit of paradise. It was the least he could do for Akira saving his life. 

He was a just god, and Akira is rewarded for his years of fighting.

Goro’s own reward was head on his shoulder, the half asleep kisses and cheesy jokes from the angel that he woke up to every day. It was the thing that motivated to fix the world as it was, and the reason Goro still came home. It was his own paradise.

* * *

“Why is it that you’ve never mentioned Sigyn?”

Loki stopped at Goro’s words, just for a brief moment, before continuing on with cleaning Laevateinn. His back was turned to him, preventing him from seeing his face.

“Why do you ask?” Loki said slowly.

Goro shrugged. “Just curious.”

The persona hummed, but made no move to face him. “I doubt you would have cared about Sigyn or my past life even if I had mentioned it.”

Fair, Goro was nothing if not obsessed with revenge during the beginning of his time in the Metaverse. His mind had been focused on killing Shido and nothing else. He didn’t have any interest in where Loki came from, only if he could help Goro achieve his goals. He’s done his research on the trickster god’s origin in mythology, but had never paid much attention to the goddess mentioned in his punishment.

“True. But I still find it strange that you’ve never mentioned your wife until Akira summoned her,” Goro said. “Although, I suppose gods’ handle relationships in their own ways that are much different from humans.”

Loki tensed. “What are you implying?”

“Well, I’ve read the mythologies. I know that marriages between gods are rather turbulent at the best of times. Nordic gods are much different from the Greek, but regardless, I can understand not being enthusiastic about speaking of her.”

Loki stood and spun around, his face twisted in a furious snarl and hand still wrapped tight around his sword. 

“Do not compare either of us to those poor excuses of godly beings! I am nothing like them!”

Goro did not flinch at his persona's outburst. Loki would not hurt him.

The god paused, before letting out a sigh, exhaustion suddenly overtaking his features. A rare look for him. He sat back down on the chair.

“It’s….not that simple.”

Goro waited.

“Sigyn was….well, she’s victory. She had no shortage of suitors at any point in time. The Æsir, Jötunn and Giants alike wished for her hand but….mortals have a habit of misinterpreting our kind rather often,” Loki continued. “She’s a goddess of war, not some feeble helpless creature, and she was revered as such. Having her favor was a necessity for mortals, and something every god wanted. But I have yet to meet a goddess as picky or as stubborn as she. I cannot count the times that she crushed the hearts of those that were foolish enough to try and woo the warrior goddess.”

“And she still picked you?” 

Loki let out an undignified laugh. 

“I am a being of many lovers, but there’s very few I’ve ever pursued outside of a fun experience or two. I had no interest in chasing down a god that brought me power, not as though there are many who would willingly marry a god of deception. I did not chase her, and she did not chase me, which is why I suppose we were so happy together.”

Goro crossed his arms, and leaned back against the pillar. Loki seemed to sense his impatience, but paid no mind to it.

“Ultimately, victory is achieved by many means, and deceit is a common tactic in battle. Our interactions were common among the warring times of mortals. Although, her sense of loyalty did not mesh as well with it, and she was far from my biggest fan. I was a ‘cowardice deceptive bastard of lies’ in her words,” the persona smiled something that could almost be described as fond for him. “And god I love a stubborn goddess. Brilliant one too. Never failed me a run for my money. Whatever games I could find and challenge her to would somehow end in a ferocious duel between us. Always somehow ended in a tie, because whatever tricks I used balanced out with her battle tactics and increible luck, and one of us will always demand a rematch and….well, it was a never ending cycle that neither of us truly minded to be a part of. Not any woman can win my heart so easily but she’s always been a special creature of destruction and beauty. Too good for a horrid thing like myself, and yet her treasured smile belonged to me alone.”

He sighed, running his thumb over a small, carmel colored jewel that could be lose amongst his more extravagant rings.

“We were happy. No one could deny that. She’s never left my thoughts, and there was always passion in our hearts. It was a rarity that a marriage between gods held something other than resentment or political gain, and I pride myself on being one of the few. Our children were the light of her eyes. I would do anything to recapture the smile she looked upon them with. I…..never claimed to be a good person, but I was a good husband, and a good father.”

Loki’s face fell slowly and his grip on the sword tightened.

“But.....I can presume you know the tale of Balder’s demise.”

Goro nodded carefully. Loki looked up at him for a moment, before closing his eyes.

“.....I lost her, after that.”

“She….left you? But the myths-”

Loki scoffed. “No, I don’t mean in that sense. I mean I couldn’t find her. I searched whatever corner of this world and the next ten times over, but I couldn’t find a trace of where she might have hidden. I….I had assumed she was gone. I could only look for so long before I had to assume she had been lost in the collective consciousness. I longed for her for years, fruitless I had thought, but I could only hope she was at peace with our boys. The only thing I could for her, was get my vengeance on the gods and the universe that damned my family to their fates. It was all I could offer her.”

Loki’s eyes hardened, and his grip on the sword tightened. He stood, keeping his unusually serious gaze onto Goro.

“......you are lucky to have found your dear thief. He is a rare type of creature, one born in a human no less. Such a strong yet kind heart....” The persona said wistfully. “Your life has been irreversibly altered by him, saved from a doomed and unfulfilled existence. We would have perished in that hell, had it not been for his sacrifices…..”

He turned to Goro fully.

“Do not lose the light of your angel. His blessing is the reason for your power and your life. Do not think for a moment that either of you would be where you are if not for him.”

“I don’t,” Goro said firmly. He didn’t need to be told.

 _“Good._ You cannot lose him. You must keep him near, protect him from this world, no matter the cost. He holds your heart in his own….and unless you are willing to let what you’ve built with him die, then heed my advice.” 

Loki took a step forward, his sword raised and pointed at Goro.

_“Do not lose him.”_

* * *

“You’re falling asleep again, honey,” Akira said, poking at Goro’s face. He laid sprawled out on top of the detective, half entangled with the other. Goro batted the thief’s hand away, poorly trying to hide his exhaustion.

“No, I’m not,” Goro muttered out. Even his voice betrayed how tired he felt, sounding hoarse and rough. 

Akira poked at his cheek again. “Liar.”

“I didn’t fall asleep.”

“Sure, and tell me, what happened during the train scene.”

“The….best friend dies.”

“There isn’t a train scene, Goro, this is a romantic drama.”

Goro doesn’t seem to have a retort for that, and he looked back at the movie playing on the TV.

Akira smirked. “You’re getting old.”

“I’m nineteen for god sake.”

“You’re going to be twenty in a few months! You’re gonna be able to drink! You’re so old!”

“What are you, five?”

“Eighteen. I can’t believe you’re an old man dating an eighteen year old-”

“You’re going to be nineteen in a week!”

“Having a eighteen year old boyfriend, how scandalous-”

“You’re a year younger than me!”

Akira snickered at his lover’s annoyance, laying his cheek against Goro’s chest.

“Seriously though, you seem a lot more tired than usual. Maybe you should scale back your work.”

Goro sighed, rubbing his eyes. The bags under them were more than noticeable, even in the dark. “I’m fine, it’s just a headache.”

“This is the third time you’ve fallen asleep tonight! Don’t overwork yourself.”

He wrapped his arms around Akira’s waist lazily and pulled him up.

“I’m a nationally renowned detective that has university classes near daily. Overworking myself is inherent in this situation.”

Akira shrugged. “Well, yeah, but we can afford you taking a few days off of work every once in a while and skipping a class or two won’t kill you.”

The detective let out another sigh.

“It’s not necessarily about the money, it’s about-”

“-the moral obligation to keep horrible people from hurting those that can’t help themselves. I _know,_ sweetheart.”

Goro shot him a glare, but it didn’t hold any bitterness or sharpness to it. Akira couldn’t tell if he was just too tired or if he was starting to grow soft, but he counted that as a win.

“Then you understand that doing these cases and working myself like this because I’m trying to help people. It's grueling and difficult work, that more often than not makes me want to tear my hair out sometimes, but it’s one I have to do,” Goro said, running a hand through Akira’s hair. “I can’t let corrupt bastards like Shido continue to make more victims in the world. I don’t want others to end up like me.”

Akira couldn’t really argue with that. He knows how passionate Goro had gotten in the past year or so about his justice, something Akira never thought he’d ever see the detective do in his lifetime, but he supposed it was a change for the better. Goro wanted to help people, he _was_ helping people, and Akira couldn’t be prouder. But the last thing he wanted was Goro to work himself too hard like he used to with Shido. He always had a bad habit of doing that, and he always had his reasons, but Akira knows that if left unchecked he’d be up at three in the morning with frozen food for a ‘late night dinner’ and only sleeping when he’s on the verge of passing out. He doesn’t want Goro to have to near kill himself for this.

“....I know, but still, if you work yourself to death then you’re not going to be able to help people anymore,” Akira muttered quietly, looking up at Goro. “I’m just worried about you. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

Goro gave him a soft smile that never failed to make Akira’s heart melt. “Aren’t you sweet….You’re going soft on me.”

“Someone has to be soft for you otherwise you’ll get yourself killed.”

“You’re not one to talk,” Goro said, running a hand through Akira’s hair. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make you concerned about my health.”

Akira leaned into his touch. “I can’t help it, I’m always worried about you, especially when you act like an idiot.”

Goro chuckled softly. “I know, Aki. I’ll take care of myself. I’m fine. I’m a little tired, and I have a certain headache that’s making things worse. ”

Akira wasn’t entirely convinced, that nagging paranoia in the back of his mind telling him that there must be something Goro isn’t telling him, that things are going too good, that something is going to go wrong-

“Just a headache?” He asked tentatively.

Goro nodded. “Just a headache. I’ll be fine, love.”

He rubbed the former thief's back, helping to ease the building tension in both his body and his gut. Him and his stupid nicknames always make his heart skip a beat. It’s unfair how easy it is for him to make Akira falter.

Goro placed a kiss on the crown of Akira’s head, before leaning back against the couch. Akira relaxed his hold, letting the knot in his gut unravel with the near hypnotizing movements on his back and the steady beating of the other’s heart.

Things will be alright.

* * *

“Goro, stop it!” Akira stuttered out through giggles. Said detective was currently hanging off of him, clearly tipsy and refusing to let go of his boyfriend’s waist even in the middle of a near deserted but still very public square. Goro doesn’t seem to hear, or care, about whatever Akira was saying and continued to bury his face in the younger one’s neck while leaving less than innocent kisses in his wake. “P-people are staring!”

“No they’re not,” Goro said, and Akira can feel the cocky smirk against his skin. “And even if they are, who cares? All they get to see is how much I love you.”

Akira’s face flushed even more as Goro continued.

“It’s our anniversary, Aki! We’ve been in love for one whole year! Not even a god could stand between us! We’re allowed to be as affectionate as I like! I don’t give a damn what the people of the world think, they should be grateful for god’s sake!”

He said that like they had planned this out, when in actuality they just happened to go out tonight, and Goro was now stuck on the idea of their one year anniversary of….Akira’s not sure, their kiss? When they actually decided to get together? Because today was neither of those dates but Goro didn’t seem to care. Well, anniversary or not, Goro was going to regret drinking this much in the morning. Who knew he was such a lightweight? 

Akira was thankful that save for one or two glances, people were minding their own business, but he really shouldn’t be the one worrying about Goro’s reputation right now. Sure, it wasn’t nearly as bad as it used to be when he was still the “Detective Prince” in the eyes of the public, but he knew that if a photo of one of the few times Goro got drunk ended up on the internet he’d lose his mind.

“Sweetheart please,” Akira said, trying and failing to keep his voice serious as Goro continued to nuzzle into his neck. Why did a few drinks make him so cuddly?

“You’re so good. I’m so lucky to have you. I love you so much….” Goro slurred, pressing a kiss on his cheek. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. I wouldn’t even….I wouldn’t even be here without you. You saved me from being that horrid man’s pawn any longer. I would be dead without you, my light, my love….”

Goro wrapped his arms tight around Akira’s back, pulling him into an even stronger hug. His cheeks probably turned third shades darker at the other’s unusually affectionate and loving words. He shook his head. “Goro, you’re too loud-”

“If it wasn’t for you, there wouldn’t even be a world left for everyone to be a part of. _No one_ would be here if it wasn’t for you! You’re so wonderful. What did the world do to deserve you? What did _I_ do to deserve you? I’m so lucky!”

Goro stumbled, and with his stupid amont of strength, dragged Akira along with him. He caught himself, burying his face into the other’s hair with a giggle. Akira looked around, still relieved to see that no one was giving them so much as a weird stare.

“Sure, sure, you’re lucky, can you let go now?”

“I love you so much,” Goro slurred out, completely ignoring Akira’s words. “I’d do anything for you, Aki. Anything. I’d move heaven and earth to make you smile. I’d remake the world, just for you. You’ve done so much for me, it’s only fair I’d be willing the same for you. I’m going to keep you safe. I swear I’m going to protect you from everyone. No one is gonna hurt you as long as I’m here….”

Akira smiled, but something about his words didn’t sit right with him. The edge at the end of the affectionate words prevented him from basking in the warmth of his lover’s normally sweet words. He shook it off, focusing more on getting Goro home. He doesn’t need him passing out in the middle of the square.

“Alright, well, you can protect me at home. I should get you something to eat.”

Goro gasped like a little kid. “I love your cooking!”

“That’s not- I was thinking leftovers…..but fine, as soon as we get back to the apartment.”

Akira hoped he wouldn’t mind using his card for a cab. He’d thank him in the morning, anyway.

* * *

“.....hey Mona? You awake?” Akira asked tentatively, poking at the lump of fur on his chest. Morgana stirred and raised his head to give a pouty glare at the former thief. 

“Now I am,” the cat complained with a yawn. “Why are _you_ awake? You’ve got work in the morning!”

Akira shrugged. “Can’t sleep.”

“Why not?” Morgana tilted his head. 

“Thinking.”

The cat narrowed his eyes. “About….?”

“Things.”

Morgana groaned loudly, dropping his head against Akira’s chest.

“Talking to you is like pulling teeth sometimes! Give me something.”

Akira shook his head, staring up at the ceiling.

“It’s nothing, just something stupid.”

“Come on, you’ve already woken me up and _something_ is obviously bothering you. Tell me.”

He hesitated. Morgana wouldn’t want to here about his stupid paranoia. He wouldn’t really understand why either, he never went through Maruki’s ‘perfect reality’. Hell, Akira couldn’t understand _why_ he was so anxious at this point. Everything was fine, what was he worried about? But he needed someone besides Goro to tell him he’s being ridiculous. He felt like he couldn’t even tell Goro about this, not when he’s so busy and their time together was lucky to be more than a few minutes a day. It’s the middle of the night, and he’s still out working again. Which, is also _fine,_ his job is demanding, but he wanted the time they had together was nice and free of Akira’s stupid irrational thoughts.

“Just….things are going well. Really well. Like, almost perfect.”

Morgana stared at him. He clearly didn’t think this was worth waking him up at the early hours of the morning.

“Yeah? Isn’t that a good thing….?”

“I guess but….never mind. I told you it was dumb-”

Morgana popped up, fully standing on his chest. “No, no, tell me! What’s wrong about it?”

Akira fiddled with the bedsheet. Pushy cat.

“Well….I don’t know, don’t you feel like things are going a bit too well? Like there’s some disaster right around the corner and I’m waiting for _something_ to go wrong?”

“I’m not sure-” Morgana stopped halfway through his sentence, and his eyes widened a little like something just seemed to click. The knot in Akira’s gut only tightened as the silence dragged on. “Oh.”

He leaned down, propping himself up as he sat. “I think I get it.”

Akira blinked in surprise. That wasn’t the reaction he was expected to hear from the cat. 

“You….do?”

“Totally. You’re worried something bad is gonna happen because everything is going so good. Like you’re happy, but it feels like you’re waiting for the next shoe to drop all the time.”

Akira was taken aback at the cat’s words. That was….eerily accurate. How did he….?

He rubbed the back of his neck “Yeah, yeah that’s….that’s exactly it….” 

Morgana smiled a bit, his tail swaying back at forth. “See? I get it! I can read you so well!”

Akira only responded with a hum, unsure of what to say. The cat paused for a moment, tilting his head.

“Is that why you can’t sleep?”

“Told you it was stupid.”

Morgana pouted, or as best as he could like this. “It’s not stupid!”

“Hm?”

“Lots of people feel like that! I’ve….felt like that before two.”

Akira sat up, looking down at the ball of fur that had moved to his lap. “You have?”

“Yeah….um….” Morgana seemed hesitant to admit, but the cat was nothing if not prideful. “After the Metaverse collapsed and I came back, I was so happy that we didn’t have to worry about Yaldabaoth or vanishing anymore. We could just be happy, but I kept thinking….what if it’s not done? What if the False God isn’t entirely gone? What if there’s another enemy that comes our way, and since the Metaverse is gone, we wouldn’t be able to steal their desires this time? I kept thinking that there might be another Kamoshida, or Kaneshiro or Shido, that would come after one of us and we wouldn’t be able to do anything about it this time….”

He trailed off, his ears flattening to his head before perking up.

“But after a while, I just...stopped worrying as much. It’s been like two years after all, I couldn’t just keep stressing myself out over it. I still get worried about it from time to time, but it’s easier to relax when you’re not thinking about it all the time.”

Akira paused, thinking for a moment. Was it really that easy for Morgana? Why was it so hard for him then? He hesitated for a second or so. Akira was never really good at asking people for advice, but he really didn’t know what to do this time.

“I see,” He said quietly. “But I’m not sure how to get there. To the point where I don’t always think about it, I mean.”

Morgana was quiet for a moment, before speaking again.

“It’s not like you can get rid of it right away. You just have to let your emotions run their course.”

“‘Run it’s course’, huh....?” Akira repeated. It sounded easy. It was easy. Why didn’t Akira think of that?

“Yeah! It gets easier over time. It helps to talk about it with someone too, but for the most part you just gotta give it time.”

Akira gave the cat a half-hearted smile and ran a hand through Morgana’s fur. “I’m already doing that.”

“I don’t mean at two in the morning! Talk with someone when they’re actually awake you goof!” He pouted, trying to shake Akira’s hand off of him despite the quiet purr in the back of his voice. “Speaking of, you should get some sleep! Staying up like this isn’t healthy!”

Akira leaned back onto the bed, letting Morgana rant and ramble about getting a goodnight’s sleep is important and he’s going to regret it in the morning, and other things Akira was no longer paying attention to. 

So it was just in his head, huh? That wasn’t really a surprise. Lots of these kinds of feelings were just him overthinking things. It wasn’t really anything new. But….Mona said he had felt that way too. So it wasn’t just him? Other people felt like this too? Did Goro feel this way too sometimes? ….probably not. He’s not the type to doubt himself. But still, Morgana said he wasn’t the only one either. It’s not uncommon and other people feel it too. He’s not just being paranoid, it's normal ~~_he’s not a freak_.~~

“Hey! Are you listening?” Morgana whisper-shouted, batting at his face to catch his attention. Akira poorly attempted to dodge his attacks.

“I’m trying to go to sleep, but _someone_ is keeping me up.”

“Liar! Your eyes aren’t even closed!”

Akira closed his eyes and turned away dramatically. “What? Can’t hear you, I’m falling asleep.”

Morgana huffed, grumbling out about how he’s ‘hopeless’ and ‘I don’t know why I try’ before he eventually curled up and laid back down on Akira’s chest. It’s not long before the tiny and admittedly adorable breathing slows, signalling the cat having drifted off to sleep. Akira took longer than that. He alway had trouble falling asleep, tonight was no different. He let his mind wander, running over and over what Morgana had said in his head. 

He doesn’t have much experience in the world, so he’s exactly sure how reliable Morgana’s sources are….maybe from the other Phantom Thieves? Did they confide in him about this stuff? Or did Morgana talk about it, and they mentioned the same thing about feeling that way? Why hadn’t they told him? Usually, they would always come to him about their problems. They always did that, especially back during the Phantom Thief days. Maybe Morgana just knew like he always did? Was he just saying it to make Akira feel better? Was-

 _“You’re overthinking again,”_ Satanael whispered in the back of his mind. _“Enjoy this time. Trust in your friends, and get some rest, my Trickster.”_

Ok, getting scolded by a demon lord to relax was probably a sign that he really needed to get some sleep. He heard a chuckle in the back of his mind, one out of kind amusement rather than mockery before the winged demon it settled back into his soul. Akira relaxed in the bed, letting the lull of sleep begin to pull him under into unconsciousness, ignoring the nagging in the back of his mind whispering horrible ‘what if’s' that plagued his heart. He hoped they’re right.

* * *

As much as Goro would like to spend New Years Eve without the irritation of the Phantom Thieves, he didn’t have much of a choice. He could avoid them for the first two years, save for Morgana, but ultimately the thieves had decided to intrude on yet another event without any care or tact and Akira, naively, doesn’t think twice before simply letting them take over the entire event. In his mind, it’s a fun night with his friends. He can’t blame Akira for it.

But Goro, his entire plan was being ruined by a band of idiots.

 _“The one night we needed them to stay away! The one night they are meant to stay away, instead they choose to barge in on something that involves none of them and steal his attention away from us!”_ Hereward seethed in the forefront of his mind. _“Is one task too much for them?! Do they not have common decency?! God forbid they READ THE ROOM-”_

 _“Calm yourself, Hereward,”_ Robin said, attempting to ease the knight’s rage. _“It’s one minor setback, we can recover from this.”_

 _“Can we?”_ Loki said in an amused and half joking tone. 

_“Not. helping.”_

_“The plan is ruined, we can’t do it tonight,”_ Hereward said. _“We have to wait. I don’t care how much he cares about his friends neither them nor the cat can participate in this. We’ve been planning this for months! We worked so hard for this, and I will not stand for them ruining this moment for us!”_

 _“Such a drama queen,”_ Loki grumbled out. _“You could give him one of those sugary candy rings in the middle of a trash pit and he’d still probably agree. This is the third time you’ve backed out already, and I’d like to do this before Ragnarok comes if it’s not too much trouble.”_

_“That’s not the point! This has to be something he cherishes for the rest of his life! It’s important, and I refuse to let anyone ruin it!”_

_“Drama. Queen. I’m the only one here with actual experience with this. The only thing you two got was a kick in the ass-”_

_“You’re taking that out of context!”_ Robin protested.

_“Or was too busy lighting England on fire to settle down with anyone. Let me handle this.”_

_“Oh, yes, because I trust the romantic advice of the great and clever god that’s most notable accomplishment is the time he lured away a horse with-”_

_“I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK ABOUT THE HORSE-”_

“Goro? You ok?”

Akira’s voice cut through the bickering noise from the personas, snapping him back to reality. They were sitting at a table of some restaurant Sakamoto had demanded they eat at, despite both his and Niijima’s protests that it would be busy on _New Years Eve,_ waiting for their food as they have been for the past hour and Sakura would not shut up about how hungry she was.

He forced a smile, trying to ignore the obnoxious buzz building from the sheer amount of people around them. _The Mementos never gave him a damn break._

“I’m fine.”

Akira didn’t look convinced. “....you sure?”

“Where the hell is the waitress already?” Sakamoto groaned, slumped over the table like a child. “It’s been so long….I think my stomach might collapse in on itself if I wait much longer.”

“It’s gonna be midnight by the time I get anything!” Takamaki whined, her chin propped on her hand. “Ugh, why did we come here again? This place is packed with people! No wonder our food is taking forever.”

“But the toshikoshi is supposed to be out of this world!”

“It’s not gonna mean much if we don’t get to eat it!” Futaba said. “You’ve doomed us all, and now we’re gonna starve!”

“No you ain’t!”

“You have to pay for my funeral costs when I die.”

“Quit being dramatic!”

Goro grimaced from the sheer noise of the group. He was starting to get dizzy. “.....no.”

Akira gave him a half hearted shrug, as if to say ‘me too, sorry’....which was exactly what he was thinking, but that’s not the point there. The point was he was here, with a ring in his pocket, surrounded by idiots and far too many people for his liking. His skin was beginning to crawl, static building in the back of his mind. Akira leaned against him, hand on his, but it’s not enough.

The buzzing had turned into a stream of whispers, of unfiltered thoughts and emotions hitting him all at once. Not even Akira can ground him in here, not with all the damn noise and not for this long. It’s too loud, there’s too many people, the fucking Phantom Thieves won’t shut up and they’ve already ruined everything for them. This could have been so good, they could have had such a nice night, but it’s all just too much-

“Goro?” Akira’s concerned voice called for him, and there’s a hand on his shoulder. He stood suddenly, no doubt only causing his boyfriend’s worry to deepen and placing his hands on the table. “What is it-”

“I’m taking a walk,” Goro announced tactlessly, and before any of them can respond, he rushed out the door of the restaurant. He ran into people on the way out, but he didn’t bother to stop as he ran out into the busy streets of Tokyo. Akira called after him, but Goro didn't stop for him. He wasn’t sure where he was going, but he just had to get away from everyone and everything. Being in the middle of the city on a fucking holiday didn’t not help in the least bit. Too many emotions, too much excitement and laughter and whispers and screams, too many thoughts at all once. He needed to get somewhere quiet, anywhere that wasn’t here. He’s going to be sick. There were so many people, too many, he’s going to be sick if they didn’t just be quiet. Why can’t it just be silent for two seconds?

~~**_He could make them all silent, just make it stop for a few minutes or as long as he liked. It was so easy, so fucking easy. If he just stopped for a moment, if he just reached out towards-_ ** ~~

_“GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF!”_

Loki’s voice snapped him back to reality. Goro shook his head, pushing past the crowd around him and slipping into a small alleyway. He’s made that mistake before. He hadn’t meant to do it. Her thoughts were just so loud and so fucking introcate, her desires so strong, he couldn’t block them out. He just needed five minutes to focus, just a few minutes. He didn’t know what would happen, he just needed a moment to think. Just for a few minutes, he needed her to be silent.

Robin had assured him it was an accident, Goro couldn’t have known what would happen, he was still learning, it wasn’t his fault, she was just an unfortunate casualty in a long line of good.

But Goro can’t forget the horrible, blank look on her face as she collapsed onto her desk, the steady stream of thoughts stopping abruptly, reaching in hoping of finding something, anything to show some semblance of life-

And finding _nothing._

Goro wouldn’t make that mistake again. He’s learned from that.

He closed his eyes, bent over and sweat covering his brow. He shuddered, pulling his jacket tighter over his shoulders and pressing his back against the wall to keep his balance. _Focus, breathe, control yourself, don’t listen to any of it, no matter what, don’t let it overwhelm you, don’t let it overwhelm you, don’t--_

He shook his head. It was easier said than done, just with the amount of people shuffling across the street, no filter for their intense emotions and no stopping the stream of thoughts. He didn’t know how to ground himself like this, already regretting leaving the one person he can latch onto without losing himself. He would have to apologize for leaving Akira later. 

Could Goro risk traveling to Asgard? It would have to be just for a moment, just to mute the static for a few minutes. But then he runs the risk of being seen by another persona user, or worse, one of the Phantom Thieves that had gone looking for him. Their cognition is harder to alter, and the changes easily undone without proper maintenance. He could make it quick, just for a second, _anything_ for a moment of relief-

“Goro!” A familiar voice cut through his thoughts. Goro looked up, seeing Akira squeeze out of the crowd and into the alleyway. He was panting slightly, a small smile crossing his face at the sight of his boyfriend. “Hey….”

Goro latched onto his mind like a lifeline. He truly couldn’t help it, like a starving man offered a feast, he has to have this. Akira was relieved to Goro, as well as worried. He wouldn’t usually run out of the blue, even if he hated being in busy places. Goro looked like hell too. Was something wrong? He knew this wasn’t the night either of them had planned or hoped for, and hadn’t really thought twice before agreeing to Haru’s offer. Goro wasn’t feeling well, clearly, and he should have known that the detective wanted to stay home for the day. Guilt began to build in his chest, he should have known better, and now Goro was suffering for his mistake-

Loki grabbed hold of his heart and soothed it. It wasn’t his fault, none of this was his fault, and Goro wouldn’t let him think that way.

“What’s wrong? Are you alright?” Akira asked, concern still thick in his voice. He leaned forward, but refrained from touching him. He didn’t know what was wrong yet.

“Overwhelmed,” Goro forced out through strained pants. “Needed a minute.”

Akira furrowed his brow, worry and doubt still stirring for his lover but less so thanks to Goro’s hold on him. “Do you need anything? Can I help at all?” 

He spoke quietly, being thoughtful enough to be conscious of Goro’s headaches. He was so good to him, Goro doesn’t know what he’d do without him.

“Just….stay.”

Akira blinked, and then smiled softly. He placed his hands on Goro’s shoulders hesitantly, gently as to not startle or upset him _(god, he’s so wonderful)_ but enough to ground him should he need it. Akira looked gorgeous, cast in the neon lights of the city and gray eyes entirely focused on him. He stepped closer, pressing himself against Goro. Their foreheads met, and Goro can’t help but revel in his lover’s presence. He encased his mind in the other, letting himself drown in the very heart of the other. He reached out, taking in every bit of Akira. The world went silent, and all Goro could hear or feel was the cold, but soft and comforting abyss of Akira’s soul. There’s no crowd, no noise, no voices, nothing. Just the two of them, existing in their own space away from the world. It’s peaceful, it’s perfection.

Goro would move heaven and earth to keep this love.

When Akira finally pulled away, whether it be after minutes or hours, Goro’s mind was finally silent. He kept a hand on the other’s shoulder, just to make sure the detective remained with him. Akira gave a quiet and earnest smile, and Goro’s heart sang at the sight of it.

“You with me, honey?” 

Goro let out a chuckle. 

“Yes, I’m here.”

“Good,” Akira tilted his head slightly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, tonight kinda sucks.”

“Don’t apologize.”

He looked like he wanted to argue, but Goro wasn’t going to let him. Not tonight.

“....you followed me,” Goro stated flatly.

“Yeah. I mean, I wasn’t gonna let you run out into the city alone. What kind of boyfriend would I be?” Akira laughed. “You sure you’re ok? You’re still a bit red….Have you been sleeping enough?”

“I’m fine,” Goro said. “I’m perfectly fine now that you’re here.”

Akira’s face flushed, and he let out an undignified snort. 

“Sap.”

He says that, but his heart still skipped a beat.  
“I mean it,” Goro continued. “I don’t know what I would do without you. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you. You…..god, what have you done to me? You’ve uprooted my entire life, my plans, my thought process, my everything, and....and I love you even more for it.”

Akira was taken aback by his words, and his face turned an even darker red. He let out an unsure giggle.

“Have you been drinking again? What’s gotten into you?”

“Aki,” Goro said, voice entirely serious. Akira stopped and stared at the other, wary yet expectant. He had an entire speech planned for this, but whatever Goro had prepared had left him long ago. “I….cannot emphasize how much you mean to me. I believed I wouldn’t live to see past eighteen. My entire life was centered around my revenge, my anger, my hate and I thought that there was all there was in life. Everything else was a pointless delusion but…I wouldn’t even be here if that were the case.”

“Goro….”

He took Akira’s hand in his. “I cannot lie and say I didn’t feel something for you for those months we worked together, even before we….It took me too long to realize, but I’m thankful everyday I did. I cannot imagine a life without you, if I had said no to our deal, if I hadn’t kissed you that day. No matter how long it took me to resolve myself, I know exactly how I feel. And I know exactly what I want.”

Goro reached into his pocket, running his thumb over the silver band for a moment.

“I want you, Akira, and I’d like to have you in every sense of the word.”

Goro pulled the ring out of his pocket, and held it in his hands for a moment. Akira looked down at the small silver object in Goro’s palm, and let out a gasp.

“This-!” He looked at Goro with wide eyes, then back down at the ring, then back at Goro. “This is…..!”

Goro nodded, extending out his hand offering the ring to him. Akira gaped and looked back down at the ring, too shocked to even speak. A second passed, then two, then three. Akira took a shaky breath and closed his mouth. Tears began to well up in his eyes, and if Goro hadn’t been feeling the overwhelming amount of love spilling from him. He just needed a moment. He slowly took the ring in his hand. He ran his thumb over the band, looking at the small wings inscribed on the side. Akira looked back up at Goro, trying so hard not to cry. 

“Y-you….” Akira couldn’t finish his sentence, trailing with a sniffle. He hesitantly puts the ring on his finger, looking it over on his hand. Goro can feel the excitement, the anxiousness, the disbelief that this was happening at all, and the pure unadulterated _joy_ coming off of Akira. 

“I love you,” Goro cupped the other’s cheek and beamed at him. Akira met his gaze, tears running down his cheeks. There’s a moment of wordless understanding, before Akira wrapped his arms around Goro tightly. A sob shook through the former thief’s body. Goro returned the hug, keeping his lover close to his chest. 

Relief and happiness flooded the both of them. This was it, this exactly the heaven Goro had been working for. Akira was always his, always meant to be his, but the silver Goro had made for him was a symbol of their bond. For them, both to have for the rest of eternity in each other’s arms. A world where it’s just them, forever entangled in each other’s fate. A bond none could change or break.

That was his heaven.

* * *

Valentine’s day was never a huge thing for them. Most holidays weren’t. They would usually do something for certain ones, mostly because the Phantom Thieves invited them along or if Akira made some kind of fuss about it even if Goro enjoyed it when they went out. Valentine’s day was more of a game of _‘Who could out romance the other?’_ for them than anything. So far, Akira was zero to two. The first one wasn’t fair, really, because it was the day after he got out of _prison_. And he had such a good idea planned for last year, which Goro ruined by renting out a goddamn fancy penthouse and getting him that beautiful set of jewelry he had been eyeing for months for now. Who knew Goro Akechi of all people was a fantastic romantic? Akira hated it.

Goro had to work that night, which was disappointing for the both of them. It wasn’t really too much of a surprise. The department had been busier than it had been for months, which meant Goro was at work way more than usual. It was fine, really, even if Akira missed having his fiancé around (fiancé!! He still can get over the fact they’re _engaged!_ ) He was a bit lonely, sure, but Goro needed to do this. He can’t blame him for being busy, especially with how stressed Goro has been lately.

But what this did do for Akira was leave him with the perfect opportunity to win this time.

Goro probably didn’t want anything flashy, he likes simple but elegant types of things. Akira needed to know how to be subtle, casual but still romantic….and something Akira knew for a fact Goro liked. 

Akira had decided on a nice dinner. Basic? Sure, but he knew what Goro liked. He didn’t care much for taste when it came for food (how he ever survived this long on frozen food and leftovers from restaurants was beyond Akira), but Goro had a soft spot for his cooking. Akira had bragging rights for two things: making amazing coffee and cooking great food. And Goro always requested for Akira to cook for that because “it’s easier for the both of them.” Liar just wants him to make dinner for the sixth time that week, and what’s worse was that Akira caved nine times out of ten. Goro knew exactly how to get to his heart, and like a fool, Akira fell for it every time.

Akira had decided on some european pasta dish that looked amazing, and had turned out pretty well. He had been planning it for the past week, picking out the best ingredients he could find and hiding it in the Leblanc. He didn’t need a certain detective knowing and ruining his plans. It wasn’t hard to sneak it back inside once he had gone off to work.

Morgana had been banished to the Sakura Household for the night, with a small bribing of tuna to keep him quiet for a bit. Akira had gotten flowers from Rafflesia a few days before, which Hanasaki had refused to let him pay for despite his insistence. Candles were next on the list. He could almost hear Goro make a comment about how cliche and sentimental Akira is, but with a smile still plastered in his face. He was going to be the one to make Goro blush and fluster this year. He’s going to make such a nice night that Goro would have to admit defeat! He was going to sit down and enjoy himself dammit. Akira was going to make sure Goro was going to sit down, relax, and have a nice night together. 

The apartment looked really fantastic, if Akira is allowed to brag. The candles allowed for mood lighting, the flowers were beautiful, and the dinner turned out great. Goro had told him he’d home around seven, so Akira had plenty of time to set up. He couldn’t wait to see the look on his fiancé’s face when he sees how much effort he put into this. 

Seven o’clock hit, and Akira set the table, got dressed, sat down, and waited.

Ten minutes pass. Twenty. Thirty. 

It’s alright. He knew Goro might be busy, or caught on the train, or something.

Fourty. Then an hour. Then two. 

Ok, now he was getting worried. He checked his phone and all the unread messages.

**[7:47]**

**[Akira]: hey, you still at work?**

**[Akira]: hurry home, i’m waiting for you ;)**

**[8:02]**

**[Akira]: Gorooooooo**

**[Akira]: give me attention**

**[8:23]**

**[Akira]: heeeey don’t ignore me**

**[Akira]: you there?**

**[Akira]: Goro?**

**[8:50]**

**[Missed call]**

**[Missed call]**

**[Akira]: alright, I’m actually starting to get worried**

**[Akira]: pick up**

**[Akira]: if you don’t respond I’m going to get futaba to leak those pics of you in the featherman outfit**

**[Akira]: seriously pick up**

**[Missed call]**

**[9:25]**

**[Missed call]**

**[Akira]: Goro where the hell are you**

**[Akira]: seriously stop screwing around**

**[Akira]: if you can’t talk rn just send me a text that you can’t**

**[Akira]: just send me SOMETHING**

**[Missed call]**

**[Akira]: Goro please respond**

**[Missed call]**

**[Missed call]**

**[9:38]**

**[Group Chat: Phantom Hoes]**

**[Joker]: have any heard from Goro**

**[Skull]: no?? why would we??**

**[Skull]: its a single guys night with yusuke over here**

**[Oracle]: losers**

**[Skull]: hey! you’re alone too**

**[Oracle]: bold of you to assume i care**

**[Oracle]: its a no go from both me and mona**

**[Panther]: I’ve been with Shiho all day**

**[Violet]: I haven’t. Is something wrong?**

**[Noir]: Shouldn’t he be home? It’s Valentine's day is it not?**

**[Queen]: He’s not with you?**

**[Fox]: I have not heard from him since yesterday. I assumed he was with you.**

**[Joker]: he’s not home yet**

**[Joker]: he’s not responding. i’m starting to get scared.**

**[Joker]: it’s been hours**

**[Panther]: Im sure he’s fine. hes probably just busy at work or something. you know how he gets when hes in work mode**

**[Joker]: no not like this**

**[Joker]: he always checks his phone, even during work**

**[Joker]: he never not picks up**

**[Skull]: his phone is probably off**

**[Violet]: Probably not. Akechi senpai never turns off his phone. For work reasons I think**

**[Joker]: yeah**

**[Violet]: He might have just forgot his phone at work and got stuck on the train**

**[Oracle]: uh**

**[Oracle]: im trying to find his location and nothing’s coming up**

**[Oracle]: so either his phone is off or it’s broken**

**[Oracle]: or he took the tracker off**

**[Joker]: fuck**

**[Violet]: It’s probably fine! Akechi senpai can take care of himself! He’s probably fine!**

**[Joker]: but he wouldn’t ignore me**

**[Joker]: he doesn’t do that**

**[Joker]: fuck fuck fuck**

**[Joker]: Queen do you know if he’s with Sae?**

**[Queen]: Why would he be with Sae?**

**[Joker]: cause they’re working together tonight?**

**[Queen]: She got home a few hours ago?**

**[Queen]: Why would she know where he is?**

**[Joker]: they were supposed to be working late**

**[Joker]: he told me that**

**[Queen]: Sis never mentioned anything about working late**

**[Queen]: She says the last time she saw him he was leaving for the day**

**[Queen]: Are you sure that’s what he said?**

**[Joker]: fuck i don’t know anymore**

**[Joker]: im going to go look for him**

**[Joker]: ive got no idea where he might be but i gotta look**

**[Joker]: if you see him let me know please**

Akira doesn’t bother to read the responses that come in afterward, already throwing on his coat and rushing out of the door of their apartment into the freezing Tokyo night. The streets were crowding with couples celebrating tonight in the spurs of romance. Akira wasn’t paying attention to any of it, though. He’s far more concerned about the lack of chestnut hair and red eyes in the crowd. He rushed down the sidewalk of the city, bumping into more than annoyed people as he moved. There’s no sign of the detective, and every second that passes where Akira doesn’t seem him only twisted more dreadful knots in his gut. He wasn’t even sure where to look for him. The police station? Apparently he left hours ago. He’s not home, clearly. Not at the Leblanc, he’s already looked on the Underground Mall and Kichijoji, Lala hasn’t seen him in Shinjuku, Muhen says he hasn’t seen him, and he’s still not answering his fucking phone. 

Akira swears he’s going to have a damn heart attack if Goro didn’t text him soon.

“....you sure you haven’t heard anything from him?” Akira asked for what felt like the fiftieth time that hour alone.

 _“I’m afraid not,”_ Hifumi said over the other end of the phone. Akira swore under his breath. _“Would you like me to help you look for him? I’m rather worried myself….”_

“No, no, I’m….I’m sure he’s fine. You enjoy your night. I’ll let you know when I find him.”

_“Are you sure? It’d be no trouble.”_

“Y-yeah. He’s probably lost his phone or something. I’ll talk to you later.”

_“Take care.”_

He hung up with a dejected sigh. So Hifumi didn’t know either? He stared down at his phone, as if waiting for another text to come in or a call notification from Goro and it would all be fine, he was just lost and his phone died or something and that’s why he went silent for the last four fucking hours, and they would go home and try and salvage the night. But he doesn’t, and Akira put his phone away.

He was walking aimlessly at this point, no real rhyme or reason to where he was going, just hoping he would catch sight of Goro. All he could do at this point was walk and just _hope_ to see him. Maybe…..

The thought clicked in Akira’s head, and he rushed off to where they’re usual spot was located. Akira had no idea why Goro would be at the shopping market so late, or at all tonight, but it was the only place he could think of right now. He pushed past the thick crowd of people and made his way to the mall. 

The place wasn’t exactly busy by the time he got there, most shops closed and most people had gone home for the night. He couldn’t blame them. It just made things easier to look, but it didn't ease his worries. He can’t help but check his phone again, seeing the same lack of connact as he did five, ten, fifteen minutes ago and grimacing. 

“Goro….”

Akira stared down at his phone as he walked, hoping for some kind of sign from his lover. Which was why he didn’t notice at first when the already small number of people started to dwindle to nothing, didn’t notice how the brick alleyway began to warp and change into stone, didn’t notice how the cold winter air was far warmer than it should have been, didn’t notice the sound of water in the distance. He only looked up when he felt a dreadfully similar shift of realities. Akira froze, his breath catching in his throat.

No. 

_No._

_No no no that wasn’t-_ that wasn't possible. He had made sure this wasn’t possible. The Metaverse cannot be here. It’s gone, out of his reach and meant to stay that way. He can’t be here. He can’t. This wasn’t- The app was gone, Yaldabaoth was gone, Maruki hadn’t even touched the Metaverse, so _what the fuck?!_

Did that mean this whole time….did he fail? Was everything for nothing?! The past three years, the deal with Goro, the work together, the work with the team, the final bullet in Yaldabaoth’s head, their entire relationship, the fucking ring on his finger- 

Did any of it matter? Was he just going to lose it too? Was going to lose everything he worked for?! No no no no he couldn’t lose Goro. He can’t give this love up too. He’s worked too hard for this. Akira can’t give up Goro, he can’t he can’t _he can’t-_

 _“Breathe, Trickster!”_ Satanael’s voice boomed in the back of his mind. Akira hadn’t even realized he was hyperventilating until the demon lord pointed it out. He took a shaky breath, struggling to steady himself. He leaned against the wall for support, shaking and on the verge of tears. In, out, in out. 

_“There are many possibilities for the persistence of the Metaverse. Do not be so quick to assume. Do you not think that Lady Lavenza or Igor would have contacted you should things have gone wrong? Perhaps you have simply found another way in.”_

“B-but we don’t know that! W-what if it happened again?! What if Yaldabaoth didn’t die?! What if Maruki took hold of it again?! I can’t reset please-”

_“Do not be a fool! The doctor would have merged his perfect reality long ago, and you never would have gone to the physical prison. Yaldabaoth would have killed you both the second he came to power. Do not let your fear cloud your judgement.”_

“But what if….what if someone took over again? What if we failed?”

_“That wouldn’t happen.”_

“But if it is…..?”

There’s a lull of silence, before Satanael spoke in a dark but steadfast tone. 

_“Then we will fix it ourselves. No desire of man nor god can stand against us, and should this be the cause of either, we shall make sure they understand what it means to go against the Trickster of Fate.”_

Akira nodded shakily and forced himself to stand, letting the persona’s, and by extension, his own confidence overtake his worry. This was no time to fall apart. Akira needed to pull himself together and take care of whoever or whatever this might be. If….if this was what he thought, then he would stop them, just like he did before. He needed to protect his reality, like he’s done so many times before. He could salvage this. He refused to give up this life because of some prideful fool believed they deserved godhood.

Akira was in what looked to be a tight corridor of a cave, surrounded by stone where an alleyway once stood. The end of the cave was visible, golden sunlight spilling in from the other end despite it just being night just moments before. He remained in his street clothes, which meant one of three things: the person didn’t know of the Phantom thieves, did not see them as a threat, or they did not see Akira as a threat, which meant they were someone Akira personally knew. He hoped it would be one of the former two. He took a deep breath, taking solace in the powerful persona stirring in his heart, and moved forward tentatively. He stepped outside, shielding the sunlight from his face with his hand

The world outside was….gorgeous, despite the unease the palace caused in his gut. It was standing at the mouth of the cave at the edge of a forest. Beyond that was a castle, but castle doesn’t feel like the right word for such a massive structure. It appeared to be made of stone, lined in golds and silvers only seen by kings. It was built into a mountain, the outer walls molding perfectly into the rocks as though it was made together. The walls of the castle were high, casting a shadow in the valley surrounding it. The castle was built around a colossal tree in the center, the structure climbing the wooden curves of the tree until it too was surpassed by the massive branches. The leaves were colored in gold from the sunlight slipping through from above. Beyond the surrounding forest and mountains, laid the city slowly morphing into the expansive world of the palace. It looked like the perfect summer day over some ancient kingdom that doesn’t exist.

Akira couldn’t lie and say the sight didn’t take his breath away, but he shook his head. Pretty or no, there was nothing good about this palace.

He debated for a moment on whether or not he should leave and return with his team, but then he had a dreadful thought. Was this where Goro was the whole night? Was he here, exploring the palace that shouldn’t exist? Is that where he is right now? He would do that without telling anyone, reckless idiot. Was he lost? Injured? Stuck somewhere in the castle and unable to contact anyone? Did the palace ruler know he was there? Akira couldn’t risk leaving Goro if he was here. Goro could handle himself but….no, he couldn’t risk leaving him. Akira needed to find a way in.

There was a pathway up the side of the mountain, leading to a gate and the doors beyond that, but Akira couldn’t just take the front entrance. He couldn’t let whoever or whatever the ruler was know he was here, and alert the shadows by simply waltzing in would be a poor choice. He didn’t have Futaba’s guiding abilities, so he’ll have to find another way in on his own. He moved quickly to the base of the castle, skillfully maneuvering and climbing the rocks. It’s been a bit since he’s been Joker, but the days he spent with Ryuji at the gym just in case something like this happened. Akira remained in the shadows cast by both the castle and the tree, even if there wasn’t a soul in sight. He could almost hear Morgana in the back of his mind: _‘Phantom Thieves always stay and act in the shadows!’_

Akira surveyed the sides of the castle, looking for a rock that reached high enough to sneak onto the balcony or open window, but there was nothing in sight. He furrowed his brow, already missing his grappling hook, but continued his search around the side of the structure until he spotted it. Vines covered a small part of the wall, growing down from a balcony above. There was his chance. 

He jumped from one rock to another, careful to keep his balance as he moved swiftly. He caught the bottom of the cluster of vines, and paused. He tested it for a moment, seeing if it could hold his weight. The plant seemed to hold (thank god for the fairytale-like cognition of the rule), and Akira pulled himself up. He began his climb up the side of the gold structure. He was already cursing the height of the castle halfway through, feeling the strain on his muscles and sweat forming on brow as he continued on. The wind began to pick up, blowing against him and shaking the vines, but he persisted on.

Akira reached the metal railing of the balcony after what felt like forever. It looked to be more of an outdoor garden than a balcony, however, covered with plants and flowers. He doesn’t climb up right away, inside gripping the railing and peaking into the open garden. He needed to get a survey of the land, and make sure there weren’t any shadows before he threw himself into the castle headfirst. His wariness was proven to be the correct choice, already seeing a figure standing in the garden. For a moment, he thought (and hoped) the masked person dressed in black was Goro, but Akira knew a shadow when he saw one. It’s back was turned to him, far more focused on a uprooted pile of flowers and dirt while grumbling about the “useless servant mockeries making a mess of things” as it cleans. It was, thankfully, the only shadow in the garden. And it was distracted. Good. 

Akira climbed up over the railing silently, and quickly bolted behind a bench. It was nice to know his Phantom Thief instincts still held true. He threw a glance at the shadow, watching for any signs of being found out. He was positive he could take it on, sure, but he’d rather not call attention to himself. It paused and looked around for a moment, before turning his attention back to the flowers. Akira let out a small relieved sigh, pausing for a moment, before he darted through the opened doors connecting to the rest of the palace. He didn’t look back to see if the shadow had noticed him, already snaking his way around the corners and hiding behind pillars and the like.

The palace itself held just as much beauty as the outside did, with halls made of expensive metals and jewels, such as golds, rubies, and emeralds. Akira didn’t have the energy to ponder what it meant. A reflection of vanity? Greed? Pride? A desire for such a lavish existence? Did they view themselves as a god worthy of such riches? Or perhaps it was simply the idealistic fairytale-like sense of mentality? He’d have to discuss it with his team later. For now, he needed to focus on finding Goro and getting him out of here.

Which was easier said than done, judging by the pure size of this place. The winding halls seem to go on for eternity. If he could find a safe room, or even just a room with a sign of life, then he’d at least have a lead, but he was just left wondering the castle without any idea of where to go. It’s all he could do for now.

Akira traversed the halls carefully, keeping an eye out for shadows that weren’t there or a certain masked detective, but nothing showed. To say he was unnerved and anxious would be an understatement. Even the most guarded of palaces like Maruki or Shido’s had shadows or even a cognition or two roaming about. Maybe on a lower floor? Wait, how many floors did this place have to begin with? Goro couldn’t have gone that far in without any backup, right? He wouldn’t be that stupid, right?

Akira groaned silently. Please just let him find Goro and be done with it. He needed to come back later with his team and get rid of this damn palace. 

He turned a corner and froze at the sight of a massive beast standing in the center of the hall. It spotted Akira the second he stepped into the hall, and before he could make a move to run or even get a good look at the thing, he’s tackled to the ground. He made a reach for a dagger that wasn’t there, and braced himself for the sharp fangs to sink into his flesh, only to feel a lick across his cheek and a snout nuzzling against him affectionately.

“Akira! Akira home!! Akira come to home!!!”

Akira blinked in surprise, struggling to shove the snout out of his face. He pulled back slightly, still pinned down by the massive weight of the familiar creature above him.

“Missed Akira!! Happy to see him!!!”

“Wh- Fen?!”

Fenrir nuzzled against the thief happily, his tail wagging excitedly back and forth. The wolf bounded up and down as if ready to play. What the hell was Fenrir doing here? It couldn’t just be a shadow, it clearly knew him! Was Goro nearby? He tried to look around, but the mass of black fur was blocking his vision.

“G-good to see you too, buddy,” Akira stuttered out, trying to wiggle out from under the overjoyed persona. “You’re c-crushing me a bit, Fen! Do you mind….?”

Fenrir bounded backwards and sat obediently, rattling the chains on his back and giving Akira the leeway to get up. Akira moved so he was crouching with one knee. He ran a hand through the persona’s furr, which Fenrir happily leaned into. 

“That’s a good boy….where’s Goro? Is he here?”

Fenrir tilted his head. “Master Goro is home!”

“Home?” Akira asked tentatively. “Is he nearby? Is he in the palace? What is he doing here?”

“Master busy! Master is busy a lot. But that’s ok! Master is important,” Fenrir said happily. “Is Akira going to stay? Fenrir would be happy for Akira to stay!”

“M-maybe,” Akira forced a shaky smile. He had no idea what the wolf was talking about, but he could focus on that later. “Is Goro nearby? Where is he?”

“Master is in the big room!”

“Big room?”

Fenrir bobbed his head. “Big room! With the long table and many papers! Father says it's for planning! Fenrir is not allowed in because Fenrir messy.”

Akira furrowed his brow. This was starting to make even less sense. Why would Goro allow his own persona in somewhere with him? One as strong as Fenrir no less? He opened his mouth to ask what he meant when a voice rang out behind them.

“Akira?!” 

He turned, and froze at the sight before him. There stood the figure from the garden, the helmet that had hid their identity discarded and their face on full display to Akira. _Goro’s_ face.

But they’re not Goro. Their outfit wasn’t right, the armor was wrong, the colors were wrong, the ring of gold where the scarlet should be was so, so wrong. It was a shadow, Goro’s shadow. His shadow in this palace, which it’s- this-

“Akira, what are you….” the shadow began. “How are you here? What are you doing here?”

Akira could barely hear it over the sound of his heartbeat pounding in his ears. His stomach twisted into harsh knots. His brain was racing a mile a minute, trying to make sense of what was happening. Goro has a shadow. Goro has a palace. Goro has a palace when he shouldn’t even be able to have one. Goro has the palace keeping the Metaverse connected to reality. Goro’s-

“Aki….?” The shadow called out again, pulling him back from his thoughts.

“Akira, ok?” Fenrir asked, letting out a quiet whine that would have made his heart ache under any other circumstances. “Akira? Ok?”

He felt frozen in time. Akira’s body was shaking, but he couldn’t get his body to cooperate. He needed to do something. He needed to move. He needed to move _now,_ but his limbs failed to obey his commands. He needed to run. He needed to fight. He needed to do _something-!_

“Akira!” The shadow called in Goro’s voice, sensing his distress and stepping forward. It was like a string snapped and a fire was relit. His body seemed to move on autopilot. He grabbed something off of his belt (he hadn’t noticed his clothes had changed), and with a click and a toss to the floor, the hall became filled with smoke. He threw his grappling hook upwards, being pulled into the marble support beams before either of the personas could make a move. He doesn’t wait to see what they do. Akira moved swiftly, and by the time the smoke cleared, he had hidden away in an open vent.

By the stop he finally stopped he was in a new part of the palace, panting and hyperventilating as he hid in the corner of the rafters. None of this felt real. It couldn’t be real, could it? This had to be some horrible nightmare born of his unreasonable anxieties and fears. Goro would never do this, never ruin the one timeline they fought so hard to preserve. Akira had told him the risks, he wouldn’t be that foolish as to use Yaldabaoth’s ability for his own gain, right? He wouldn’t do this to the world, to _them._

But as the seconds passed, the reality felt all too real. Sweat stained his skin, his rebellious outfit too perfectly fit around him, the warm summer air flowing through the palace, the mask weighing heavy on his face with the fire burning behind it. His heart beat too fast. His head hurt too much. The smoke still stung off his skin. It was all too real to deny. It couldn’t be a lie. 

So, he did fail. It was all for nothing. How long has he had this power? Did Goro lie this whole time? How did Akira not notice? Did….did any of it mean anything? Did Goro even give a damn about him to begin with? Or was he just playing along so Akira didn’t notice? Was everything just a lie? Tears began to well up in his eyes, threatening to spill at the possible revelation.

 _“Don’t not let your fears get the best of you,”_ Sigyn’s voice echoed through his mind. _“I….cannot say why he would have done this nor what it means, but to doubt his love is nothing less than foolish.”_

“B-but this-”

 _“Do you not think the shadow would have killed you the second he spotted you? Do you not think Fenrir would have shown you the affection he always has? Do you not think he would have killed you in the beginning with his power? Or in your sleep? Or simply make you comatose and unable to wake? He would not be foolish enough to allow a threat like yourself to live without proper reason?”_ Akira remained silent. He could feel the phantom of her touch, wrapping her arms around him as a way of comfort. _“If he did not love you, what was Hereward then?”_

Akira leaned into her touch, even if it was nothing more than echo. He took a moment to recompse himself, and wiped the unspilled tears from his eyes.

“Y….you’re right.”

She laughed softly. _“I always am.”_

He didn’t have the heart nor energy to smile, but he’s sure she could feel it regardless.

_“Things are not lost yet. We can still stop him.”_

“How?” 

His voice came out small, like a child. A hint of embarrassment twitched in his heart at the sound, but Sigyn continued regardless.

_“You speak to him. Goro is brillant, but he is blind to the flaws in his own actions. It is our duty to show him exactly how….idiotic he is for this. Even if he needs a….how do you mortals say, a good kick in the ass to show him the full extent of what he’s done. You shall convince him to give over his heart to you without a heist or card.”_

“C….can I even do that? Will he listen?”

_“Have faith in him. Have faith in yourself.”_

Akira nodded, taking a deep breath. This was no time to doubt or falter. He needed to do this. Goro may think what he’s doing is right, but Akira had the experience to know no matter what the intentions were, the power of god’s did not belong in human’s hands. Whether or not it hurt, Akira had to bring him back to reality. Maybe his mind was warped by the power by now, or maybe he held steadfast against the Metaverse’s influence, but it doesn’t matter. Akira could fix this. He didn’t need to reset. Goro would listen to him if anyone. He collected himself, restrengthening his resolve, before he began to search. 

Akira stuck to the rafters and support beams of the castle, not wanting to get caught by the shadow or anything else that might be roaming the halls. All he had was Fenrir’s vague description of where Goro might be. “A big room” wasn’t exactly very helpful. Large room with a long table and a lot of papers, made for planning….? Perhaps a strategy room? That would make sense….but how was he supposed to find one room in this maze of a palace. He couldn’t afford to spend hours searching for him either….

Akira closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and focused. The world slowed, and everything began a bit clearer. He could see the path to where he needed to go laid out before him, and followed silently. Keeping his consciousness in this mindset was difficult, but after years of practice, he managed.

The only good thing Yaldabaoth ever gave him was the Third Eye.

Akira moved throughout the halls from above, occasionally having to climb and switch his position to another beam before continuing his search. He couldn’t let his mind overthink things, especially like this, despite how easy it would be to do so. He forced himself to remain steady, focused, mind only focused on one goal: finding Goro and getting him to listen. Akira will make him listen, and then he’s going to drag the both of them out here and away from the Metaverse for good. He’d prefer to never see this realm again if he could help it.

Akira was not sure how long it was until he heard the sound of voices down one of the halls. He hesitated for a moment. He wasn’t ready for this, not by a long shot, but he didn’t have a choice for any of this. He needed to do this, for Goro’s sake. He followed the voices silently, remaining in the rafters.

“You lost sight of him?!” 

Goro’s voice was the first he heard, sending waves of anxiousness and worry through him. He moved forward and stopped, gazing down at the group below. They stood outside a door, arguing back and forth between one another. The shadow from before stood there, looking equally frightened as he did angry. Another horned doppelganger stood looking almost bored, one he could only assume was Loki based on the striped outfit and long braid. In front of the two stood….Goro, looking furious and a bit scared. His outfit was….strange, but not unexpected. It was a gorgeous regal wear, form fitting black fabric lined with gold. A cape with the same colors hung off his shoulders, cutting off just below his knees. There was a belt around his waist, with a holster on one side and a sword sheath in the other. An extravagant golden crown sat atop his head, which only stirred more unease in Akira. At least his gloves remained the same.

“How did you lose him?! You practically let him escape!” Goro shouted at the shadow dressed in black, fury in his voice. The shadow was unfazed, meeting his master’s anger with his own.

“He did enough to throw off the best tracker dog in the palace, but sure, _I_ let him leave,” they said coldly. “What in god’s name are we supposed to do now? Akira not only knows of the palace, but he more than likely knows the nature of this place! I doubt he will simply let this go! I don’t know if he’s even going to want to try to fix this! We could lose everything we’ve worked for for the past three years! We could lose _him!_ The life we’ve built, gone in an instant-”

“Calm yourself, Hereward,” Loki said sternly. “Dramatics will do nothing but worsen our situation.”

“Dramatics-?!”

“We can safely assume he’s still in the palace. He’s not likely to leave without at the very least attempting to find you,” He gestured to Goro. “He’s sentimental, kind hearted, and more importantly diplomatic when he feels there’s something he must protect. I doubt he would bring his friends here if he believes he could fix it on his own. He wouldn’t want to fight his dear fiancé nor would he want to lose this life you two built. Not unless he has to, which he doesn’t as long as you remain calm and don’t _do anything stupid._ I’m sure you two can have a good talk about this and come to some kind of solution, but remaining level headed is key, otherwise he might get the wrong idea and flee.”

Hereward shot Loki a glare. 

“I do not understand how you can remain calm about this. This is not some minor lover’s quarrel! This could quite literally be the end of everything we’ve done! And if you have forgotten, we haven’t the slightest idea where he might be!”

An unsettling grin crossed across Loki’s face, and he tilted his head back slightly. 

“I’m not so sure about that.” 

The persona’s eyes meet with his.

“Come on down, little thief. No need to be shy.”

Goro and Hereward’s eyes followed Loki’s, freezing upon seeing the thief that had been hidden above them. Akira stilled for a moment, before stepping forward and jumping down from the rafters silently. He kept his distance from the three and kept his expression as unreadable as he could. Goro was startled for a moment, a thousand different emotions behind his eyes, before quickly composing himself. Hereward looked guilty, almost hurt at the sight of him, and Loki’s face remained in a stilted mask. A tense lull of silence fell upon them.

“Leave us,” Goro said flatly. The two personas exchange looks, one uneasy and the other confidant, before nodding in sync. With a flash of blue flame, they’ve vanished. “I’m….sure you want an explanation for this.”

“No shit,” Akira said, his voice far less neutral than he’d like to be. “What the _fuck_ is this, Goro?!”

“It’s….I have to ask you to not make assumptions right away-”

“Assumptions?! You mean like assuming you knew you had a palace this entire time? Assuming that you're using it for your own gain? Assuming that you stole Yaldabaoth’s power and have been using it for the past two years, and then _lied_ to me about it?! What the fuck else am I supposed to assume?!”

“It’s not what you think, I promise you.”

“Really? Mind telling me what I’ve gotten wrong?”

Goro was at a loss for words, and it only made Akira more upset. He still didn’t want to be right. He buried his face in his hands. “Jesus Christ Goro!”

“I’m helping people,” Goro said boldly. “It may seem like a bid for power, but I can tell you for certain I’ve done more good than harm.”

“Helping people?! You mean change their cognition!” Akira snapped. “Don’t even try that shit on me! I’ve heard it all before.”

“Do you think all evil simply disappeared once the Yaldabaoth died?” Goro countered defensively. “There were a thousand men like Shido out there in the world! All of them with plenty of power and no lucky hero there to stop them. They were free to make more victims like me or you without any repercussions! Was I supposed to ignore that?”

“Don’t you dare turn this around on me! This is not helping people! This is taking something that does not belong to you and using it for your own gain!”

“My own gain? I’ve helped millions of people, and you can’t simply discredit that because you dislike the methods!”

“I ‘dislike’ this because I know how this goes! Maruki told me the exact same thing. He was making a reality where ‘everyone could be happy and no longer suffer from the horrible truth’, but he was just brainwashing people into being some false form of happiness! He played god when he had no right taking such power! It _ruined_ him.”

Goro grew even more defensive at the mention of the doctor. “Do not compare me to him! I am nothing like him!”

“Oh, really? What makes what your doing and what he did so fucking different?”

“I’m not creating some false paradise or molding people into my own image. I’m fixing this horrible world from the ground up rather than force some fake reality over it pretending it will heal the wounds of humanity. This world is flawed and needs someone to cut out the rot before it kills us all. I can do that. I have been doing that for the past two years. It’s not different than what the Phantom Thieves did.”

“Goro, do you even hear yourself?” Akira said, exasperated. “That’s fucking insane! Humanity doesn’t need someone to guide them or whatever the hell you’re trying to do. You cannot just alter people's cognition on a mass scale because you think it’s for the best! You have no right over anyone else to make that decision!”

Goro scoffed and shook his head. Akira glared at him, and spoke.

“Did you do it to me too?”

“What?”

“Did you alter my cognition too? Did you go into my head too? Did you change me at all?”

Goro’s eyes widened and he took a step back. He looked horrified. “Of course not! I would never-”

“But you could have. You could have rewritten my entire mind and I wouldn’t have been none the wiser. What if you do one day?”

“I wouldn’t.”

“You might. I know exactly what happens to your mind once you're connected to the Metaverse directly. You think it won’t affect you, but it fucks up your mind,” Akira sighed. “Maruki was a kind, hopeful, good man before he took Yaldabaoth’s ability for his own. He wasn’t the kind of man to force his own values upon others or brainwash people or hold someone hostage or kill people. Once he got a hold of the power, he was a completely different person. He was willing to do anything as long as he could be the good guy and have his perfect world. By the end of it, he was willing to kill us if it meant getting what he wanted. It changed him. A part of him never came back from that. I can’t lose you too! One day you’re going to wake up and be willing to do anything if it means achieving your goals, including getting rid of me if you had too. It may seem impossible and unthinkable, but the Mementos bleeds into your mind and will make you do and think awful things. It’s too much for you or anyone else to handle.”

Goro shook his head, and refused to make eye contact. “I….I wouldn’t….”

“Goro….” Akira said softly, taking a step forward. “You’re not a bad person for thinking you could do this. You had good intentions, but that doesn’t mean what you’re doing is not going to drive you mad and do unthinkable damage to not only yourself but everyone else. This power was not made for humanity to get a hold of. It always goes wrong. No matter how good or how pure the person may be, it will corrupt them into something unrecognizable. It will make you do awful things over and over under the guise of aiding humanity. It will get worse and worse if you don’t do something about it now. I know you believe you’re helping people, but it’s only going to cause more harm to not only them but yourself at the end of this.”

He paused, and moved forward until he’s standing directly in front of Goro.

“I can’t believe I didn’t notice for two years. I feel like an idiot,” He chuckled softly.

“You’re not….you’re not an idiot,” Goro muttered quietly, still not looking at him. Akira placed his hand on his cheek gently.

“I know it’s a lot, and it’s….it’s scary. But this power is only going to things worse. I can’t say I understand exactly what you’re going through but….you can make it stop. Right here, right now. No fight, no war, no Phantom Thieves, just….”

He swallowed thickly. 

“Let go of it. All of it. I can get rid of this, and then it’ll be done for good. I….I won’t tell anyone what happened, and you don’t have to tell me everything either. But I can’t lose you to this power too. If you give over your heart to me, then it’ll all be over. We can go home, try and eat the rest of dinner and just….be done with this. I don’t want to fight you, I…...I just want this to be over.”

There’s a long silence between them, to the point where Akira can feel worry building in his heart again. Goro let out a soft sigh and placed his hand over Akira’s, leaning into his touch. He closed his eyes.

“I….I don’t want to lose you…..” He muttered quietly.

“You won’t lose me, love,” Akira said, keeping the other close. “It won’t be hard. The palace is the thing holding the Metaverse to our reality. You just-”

“-have to give up my treasure. I know,” Goro closed his eyes. “I….it’s located in the Throne Room.”

Akira breathed a sigh of relief. “Guide me there?”

Goro nodded slowly. “.....Of course, Aki.”

Akira stepped back, giving Goro a moment to collect himself, before he took the thief’s hand in his own. Akira gave him a reassuring squeeze, and smiled softly. Goro began to pull him along a few feet before the scenery suddenly shifted around them. It made him dizzy for a moment, before he was able to regain his footing. They now stood in front of a large, elegant doorway, leading to what he could assume was the location of the treasure. He looked over at Goro, who nodded and gestured to the massive doors. Akira hesitated, dread and relief still harshly twisting in his gut, but he had to keep moving forward despite his fears.

Akira pushed open the door, revealing the shining beauty of the throne room. He can’t help the small gasp at the sight. He had nearly forgotten that this was all Goro’s creation, born from his heart and shaped to his own design. It reminded him of his own time crafting the Garden. How long did Goro spend on this? How awful must it feel to watch it collapse in an instant?

His eyes searched the room, but he couldn’t spot any sign of the treasure, even with the Third Eye. He opened his mouth to ask Goro where it was, when he felt a sharp prick to the back of his neck. Akira’s nerves seemed to freeze up and then suddenly go limp. The room spun. His brain started to become fuzzy, and it became harder and harder to think, but he knew something was so wrong with him. He tried to move, touch the wound, keep his feet steady but his body felt entirely disconnected from his mind. He stumbled for a moment, before his legs seemed to give out despite his desperate attempts to keep himself upright. He fell without grace, and straight into the arms of Goro, who had remained silent behind him this whole time.

“There we go. I’ve got you,” he cooed, guiding the both of them to the floor. His expression was soft, which only made Akira more confused and dizzy. 

“G-Goro, wha….?” Is all Akira could manage to get out, his words slurring and his mind spinning. He felt so tired, but he forced himself to stay awake.

“Are….are you sure this will work?” Goro asked to someone else. “This won’t damage him, right? I don’t want to hurt him. If something goes wrong-”

 _“Trust me, my king,”_ Loki reformed next to them, no longer with a human face. He traced a claw over Akira’s cheek. _“He will be safe in my care. I wouldn’t dream of doing something irreparable to his mind. Think of it as….a dream almost. Our world shall remain intact, and his heart will remain your’s. Everything will become blissful, and this will be nothing but a distant nightmare.”_

Akira couldn’t understand what he was talking about. Everything felt lightweight and heavy all at once, the world was so bright, and it was making his head hurt. He fought to remain conscious, but his eyes felt heavier by the second. What did Goro do to him?

Goro glanced down at him, confliction in his eyes. Loki let out a soft growl and spoke again.

_“Unless, of course, you’d like to let him reset the timeline and lose everything we’ve worked so hard to achieve, our dear thief included. I doubt he’d want to take you back after this. Who would? All you’ve done is manipulate and ruin his ideal world, and there’s only so much before he decides this world isn’t worth saving and moves on the next one.”_

Akira wanted to protest, he wouldn’t do that! He wasn’t going to reset. He didn’t want to lose Goro either, but he can’t force the words out of his mouth no matter how hard he tried. Consciousness was beginning to slip from his grasp. 

Goro was silent for a moment, staring at Loki was a tense expression, before looking down at Akira with a softer one. Panic and fear began to build in his stomach as he cupped Akira’s face gently and sighed almost solemnly.

“.....fine. Do what you must.”

Akira’s stomach dropped. He tried to scream, fight back, summon a persona, reach for his weapon, just anything but his body remained still and immobile. He doesn’t know what Goro was planning on doing to him, but he doesn’t want it. His mind was too far gone to think straight. 

Goro must sense his panic, because he made a soft hushing noise and placed a kiss on his forehead.

“It’s ok, Aki. It’ll just hurt for a moment, but it’s going to be alright. Everything is going to be ok.”

Akira paled as Loki shifted and pulled the shaking thief into his arms, red pooling from the persona above and completely encasing his vision. He thrashed, or tried to, but the magic pooled around them and seeped under his skin and into his bones and into his mind and overtook him. Pain rushed through his nerves and a silent scream escaped his throat. He fought against it, scratching and biting and kicking, but can’t stop from being choked and swallowed by the influence of an unrelenting god. His vision blurred, and the last bit of his energy was sapped from him. Consciousness slipped from his grasp, and Akira fell into a red tinted sleep.

“Sweet dreams, Aki.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for some clarifications:  
> -Goro can feel and hear the mementos and public as a whole at all times (save for when he's in his own palace), but in order to control/influence/look into a certain person's mind he has to actively search for them and then grab onto them. It's difficult to remain stable in reality, especially around large crowds.  
> -Goro uses Akira as a way to ground himself to reality  
> -He does influence Akira's thoughts, both intentionally and unintentionally  
> -He caused an accidental mental shutdown when he "silenced" that woman  
> -While Loki does influence Goro's actions, Loki is still Goro


End file.
